"Who on Oblivion would name their child Alduin?" She snorted. "Poor kid." But she didn't seem to care about his strange name – he did plenty to make up for it with his appearance. "Anyway, what does he want?"

"Well, actually, he came here seeking an audience with you."

"Yes, probably going to ask where ALL THE CHEESE WENT."

"M'Lady, how many times will I have to ask you to stop shouting at me?"

"Depends...how long will it take before you get some invisible cheese?" She stroked an imaginary beard.

Haskill chose not to answer, assuming (and correctly) that she'd forget all about it in a second.

"Oh my Gosh, is that him?" She squealed, clutching at Haskill's sleeve.

He looked at where she was pointing wildly then back at her. "That is a bald woman."

"Oh...woopsies." Lady Sheogorath fiddled with her shoe. "Oh, that reminds me! I need you to get my sock."

"What happened to your sock?"

"I don't know. It disappeared. That's why I'm asking you to get it." She spoke slowly, looking at him with an expression that clearly said 'obviously'.

"But what about your other sock?"

"I never had another sock. What kind of loony wears two socks?"

"Ma'am, everyone wears two socks."

"Haskill, I understand your fashion sense isn't the best, so please don't contradict me. We all know that one sock is in style. You just wouldn't wear two socks! It's like wearing two gloves! Why would you do it?"

Haskill heaved a heavy sigh and muttered under his breath "Sometimes I miss the old Sheogorath. All he did was threaten to make earmuffs with my kidneys."

"Right, well, I guess it's time to announce the winners!" The Prince got to her feet, walking towards the top of the hill and clearing her throat loudly. Everyone fell silent. "Today is yet another joyous Invisible Cheese Rolling festival! I hope you all got pleasantly smelly! Now, I'm afraid there was a bit of a mistake with the votes, er..." she turned the parchment she held this way and that, squinting at it. "Apparently, someone actually beat our reigning grand champion...I forget who it is. Anyway, the winner is..." she looked around hopefully for some kind of suspenseful music. None came. "ALDUIN!"

Murmurs ran through the crowds. Several people scratched their heads. "Who's Alduin?" They all whispered to one another.

"I'm Alduin." Said the stranger. "But I didn't come here for some stupid prize."

A shocked gasp erupted from everyone. Many brandished carrots, ready to charge the man. But Sheogorath held up her hand. "What did you come here for, then?"

Haskill groaned, tugging at the collar of his shirt. Once again, she had forgotten what he'd told her. As he sidled over to re-inform her, she cast him a warning look. He stepped back, surprised – she had remembered!

Alduin approached her, fear flitting fleetingly across his face. "I need your help."

"What do you need my help with?" Sheogorath asked, plopping down on the ground, looking as excited as a child faced with a sweetroll.

"First, let me introduce myself. My name is Alduin...I'm a Dragon."

Sheogorath let out a shrieking laugh. "Yeah, and I'm the Daedric Prince of Madness!" She rolled around on the ground, mud streaking her clothes, then sat up and wiped her eyes.

Haskill, who'd been standing nearby, frowned. "You are the Daedric Prince of Madness."

"Yes, that's what I just said. Now, go away, Haskill. You don't have any cheese so you're not welcome here yet." Sheogorath turned to Alduin, rolling her eyes.

"The thing is, M'Lady..." Alduin took a deep breath. "I wish to take over Tamriel. But I need your help."