A SAIYAN IN PREP SCHOOL
CHAPTER TWO: SUPER-FUN TIME BINGO!
Months later, near the end of the semester...
"So, Cui is dropping out, huh?" Bulma asked Chi-Chi at lunch.
"Yeah, though out of Vegeta's roommates, he's probably lasted the longest," Chi-Chi said. "I mean, unlike Appule, he didn't drop out after the first night in the same room. Though I hear it only took him three days to request a transfer."
"I heard Vegeta kept stalking him in classes, too," said Yamcha, who had to make sure people remembered that he was in the table, too. "Cui pretty much started seeing Vegeta even when he wasn't there. And now he's been bunking with Goku and Krillin these last three days – Goku's literally the only one who can keep him in check."
"I'm sure they're getting along fine," Bulma said casually.
"This is some goddamn BULLS**T!" Vegeta raged as he tossed his controller on the floor.
"Wow, I won?" Goku said calmly as he stared at the TV. "I wasn't even paying attention. You want a rematch?"
"Shut the hell up, Kakarot!"
"Hey, Krillin, didn't you say you wanted to play the winner?"
"JUST LET ME LEAVE THIS ROOM!" came the sad whimper from under the bed.
"Goku told me they've been playing video games," Chi-Chi said.
"Vegeta?" Bulma said incredulously. "Video games? That'll be the day."
Suddenly, loud, forced-sounding laughter came from a nearby table. Wouldn't you know it, it was where Freeza and the Ginyu Force were sitting – except for Guldo, who was being used as a chair by Recoome.
"That was quite amusing, Lord Freeza!" Ginyu sucked up to the shorter alien. "Truly, you are an infinite source of amusement to us all."
"Thank you, Ginyu," Freeza said. "Of course, daddy later had him beaten up. The way I see it, it was a happy ending for all. I got to shut his stupid prick face, and he can enjoy the joys of eating through a straw for the next few years. On a happier note, how's the party arrangements coming along? Ginyu, the music?"
"All taken care of, Lord Freeza," Ginyu said with a bow.
"I'm not quite sure about the music choices, Lord Freeza," hissed Burter. "I mean, maybe we need to mix it up a little so we actually get, uh, anyone to show up. Just sssaying."
"Burter!" Ginyu gasped. "Such insubordination."
"Are you implying there are people who do not enjoy Vocaloid?" Freeza said in shock. "Nonsense!"
"Utter nonsense, Burter!" Ginyu agreed.
"Now, Jeice, what about the choreography?" Freeza asked.
"Bloody amazing, Lord Freeza!" Jeice declared enthusiastically. "I've been laboring me new moves day and night! My tights are so used you can practically see through them."
"Yes, thank you for that mental image," Freeza deadpanned. "Now, I want you to dance the Hare Hare Yukai for the first five hours, and we'll finish off with something extravagant... maybe the Caramelldansen. Everyone loves that, I don't care who claims it's an old joke!"
"Um, Lord Freeza, with all do respect," Jeice said quietly, "we're professionals, so we already had our own choreography planned. I mean, Recoome's been busting his arse training for this. He doesn't want to do some weird anime dance, right Recoome?"
"Recoome has studied Haruhi quite extensively," Recoome declared. "Recoome has also watched the video eight thousand and three times."
"See, so there is no problem," Freeza said smarmily. "And you know what a generous spirit I am. I am well open to suggestions."
"I like the Lucky Star dance!" Guldo said, his voice sounding muffled when Recoome had to sit on him.
"Get out," Freeza threatened.
Of course, Freeza and his posse were so loud that everyone in the cafeteria had overheard them. Everyone had already gotten used to this, and everyone had already planned to go to his party, whether they liked it or not. After all, if they didn't, it would be the end... of their social lives. Back at the table with Bulma and others, they resumed conversation.
"I guess you're all going to that Freeza guy's party, then?" Chi-Chi asked.
Yamcha took a deep breath. "Well, I-"
"I guess there's no choice," Bulma sighed. "It's on the last day before I head back home anyway, so I might as well check it out. It's been surprisingly calm this semester, though. I mean, I haven't been hassled by his posse or anything."
"They came to me once," Chi-Chi said. "I think they only bother people who they know are fighters who can at least threaten some of them."
"They haven't even talked to me," Yamcha said.
"Yeah," Chi-Chi said. "Case in point."
"Wonder if everyone else is coming," Bulma pondered. "Goku, Krillin, Tien... maybe Vegeta..."
"What's that?" Chi-Chi asked.
"I said, maybe..." Bulma scratched her head nervously. "Yeah, I guess I said that out loud, didn't I? But, you know, I've talked to him a few times, and he's not that bad..."
Just then, something exploded near the cash register and loud ranting was heard:
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE OUT OF HE-TAP?! I'LL BRING THIS WHOLE SCHOOL DOWN IF I HAVE TO!"
"I think those two are coming, too," Chi-Chi said, pointing at Piccolo and Nail's table, where the two Namekians were sitting on their own.
"Yeah, those two have been pretty close lately," Bulma observed. "I mean, at first it didn't seem like Piccolo even cared about that other guy and they were just stuck with each other, but now..."
Bulma's suspicions seemed to be confirmed by the fact that both Piccolo and Nail were wearing matching dorky Christmas sweaters that Nail's family had sent. Usually, Piccolo would have looked pissed by this, but now he just looked like he couldn't care less. Nail, for his part, was as high-spirited as always, playing his 3DS while waiting for Piccolo to finish his water.
"I've never seen you drink this much," Nail commented. "You do realize we're Namekians, right? We don't even need that much hydration to survive."
"You never know when a fight might be coming up," Piccolo growled. "And... it's tasty. Shut up, Nail."
"Whatever you say," Nail said. "Man, did you know that Gulpin looks just like you when you're sleeping?"
"I have no idea what that is," Piccolo grunted.
"A Pokémon, don't you know?" Nail wondered and shoved his console in Piccolo's face. "Here!"
"I don't look like-" Piccolo paused when he saw it. "Actually, yeah, I probably kinda do."
"Yeah," Nail said and closed his 3DS and glanced at Freeza's table. "Hey, you want to go to that guy's party?"
"I still have one last exam coming up," Piccolo pointed out.
"...when has that ever stopped anyone?" Nail wondered. "Don't be boring!"
"Okay, how about the fact that he practically destroyed our home?" Piccolo asked.
"..."
"Yes?"
"Don't be boring, Piccolo!" Nail repeated. "Come on!"
Piccolo sighed. "I'll pick you up at six."
"Awesome!"
~o~O~o~
Freeza's party was held at his school-owned house where he stayed with Zarbon and Dodoria, his dad paying the rent, of course. According to Freeza, he needed it to "study", though of course, there were all kinds of things to go through first. Start-of-school-party, first exam party, the party where everyone finally learns everyone's names, end-of-period party, beginning-of-period party, Halloween party, Holiday party... and just like that, it was the end of the semester!
While he couldn't hold anyone at gun- or beam-point, peer pressure was just as (or even more) powerful of an incentive to get people to show up. So, one by one, everyone relevant showed up. First Goku and Chi-Chi, with Krillin hanging out and annoying them, Yamcha and Yajirobe suit. The forehead gang came as well, 18 and 17 insisting that 16 interact with someone who could actually speak. 18's roommate Maron was there as well with a posse of her friends. Finally, Nail dragged Piccolo there as well.
Of course, Vegeta would have none of that s**t. He stayed home in his dorm to lift weights, wanting to challenge Kakarot to an arm-wrestling contest when he returned. He was already hearing annoying music all the way from Freeza's place. He decided he'd have nothing to do with that crap. No way. He didn't care.
Sure was quiet in the dorm.
When night came, the loud music was still playing. Apparently people were actually enjoying Freeza's party – or Freeza was just playing the music so people would think that. Or everyone was so drunk and/or high that they didn't care. Which reminded Vegeta... there was probably free alcohol at the party.
No, Vegeta thought. I'm not going.
But this silence (terrible music aside) was getting on his nerves. Vegeta thought of maybe going to the halls, see if there was someone at least mildly interesting to talk to. Like that one human girl... who was probably at the party.
God damn it.
A few minutes later, Vegeta was at Freeza's place, hoping to find the snack table. If there wasn't one, he'd just eat Guldo or something. Fortunately for everyone in the party, there was one, as well as large quantities of eggnog. Ignoring a drunken Yajirobe swinging his sword around and almost hitting him in the butt, Vegeta immediately went for the drinks. Looks like she wasn't here either, though...
Then, there was a knock on the front door. Guldo went to grudgingly open the door, but had it slammed on his face as Bulma Briefs entered da house, wearing a fancy blue dress.
"Whoo!" Bulma shrieked. "Now the party can get started!"
Only a little 'whoo' from somewhere in the corner of the room was her response. Still, Bulma was undeterred as she grabbed a drink from a nearby table and decided to try and mingle. This was her last night before going back home to West City and she was going to have fun and socialize at least a little even if it killed her.
Though considering the kinds of people she studied with, perhaps it was best not to say that out loud.
Bulma overheard some arguing from Piccolo and Nail, still wearing their adorkable sweaters, Nail getting under Piccolo's skin. In the living room, Recoome was doing some kind of weird dance all on his own, getting really into it. Only Freeza was watching, though, nodding approvingly.
Near Recoome were Jeice and Burter in their dance tights, looking at Recoome's dance in a mix of disgust and awe, lamenting the fact that they didn't get to show off their moves.
Finally, Bulma seemed to find what she was looking for. A Saiyan looking angry with a glass in hand, sitting alone and looking tipsy after just one eggnog. Waving at him cheerfully, Bulma made her way past the partiers and sat next to him.
"What's up?" she asked him. "Why are you sitting here all by yourself? I mean, all your friends are here, having fun?"
"Like who?" Vegeta asked, trying to focus on Bulma.
"Well," Bulma started, "there's... um... well there's G... uh, Pi... Fr... well, um, whatchoo drinking?"
"Some kind of really foul substance," Vegeta slurred and stared at his glass. "It's awful."
Then he downed another.
"I thought Saiyans didn't get drunk easily," Bulma said. "I mean, Goku's been dunking those like... uh, oh, nevermind."
Bulma had realized her mistake just in time – it was good that Vegeta was krunk enough not to properly understand what Bulma was saying, though mentioning Goku did seem to spark something in him.
"Well, uh, now that the semester is over," Bulma began, "what are you going to do? Like, going to spend the holidays anywhere?"
"Gee, well my choices are pretty much here and... here," Vegeta mumbled – Bulma never imagined him to be the type to use the word 'gee' in a conversation. "I can't exactly go home to family."
"You can't... oh," Bulma said, realizing what that was about – she wasn't that drunk yet. "Well..."
Am I really doing this? Yeah, I've talked to him and all, but I don't really know know him. But then again...
Bulma grabbed another drink from a nearby table for encouragement.
"How about you spend the holidays at my place?" Bulma asked quickly. "There's plenty of space. My dad's a billio... trillionaire now, I guess."
"Why the hell are you in a crappy school like this, then?" Vegeta wondered.
"Why are you here, Mr. Prince of Saiyania?"
"Touché," Vegeta grumbled. "Hey! And it's not Saiyania – oh, whatever. Anyway, give me one reason why I should bother coming to your place."
"We have a gym about the size of your ego," Bulma sassed. "With a pool."
"...damn, that's tempting," Vegeta mumbled to himself. "Well, I..."
Vegeta raised his head, as if suddenly realizing what kind of music Freeza was playing: some kind of anime dubsteb crap.
"What is this weeaboo garbage?!" he yelled. "Let me give these people some real music. I think I saw a karaoke machine there somewhere..."
Vegeta suddenly leaped out of his chair and went for the karaoke machine. Bulma tried to stop him at first, but decided it was more entertaining to just lean back and enjoy the show.
With one blast, Vegeta destroyed the machine playing Freeza's weaaboo garbage and pushed Recoome off the stage. Grabbing the mic, Vegeta made sure everyone was staring at him.
"All right everyone, listen up!" Vegeta yelled, even though his mouth was an inch from the mic. "The prince of all Saiyans is going to show you how to REALLY par-tay! Hit it!"
Of course, no one knew what to 'hit', so Vegeta played the song he was looking for from his iPhone :
"BINGO~!" Vegeta sang. "BINGO~! SUPER FUN TIME BIN-GO~!"
Although Freeza was enraged and his possé was afraid of what might happen, everyone else in the party cheered now that the high-pitched otaku crap wasn't assaulting their ears anymore. Plus watching this was friggin' hilarious.
"THE EARTH IS PACKED FULL OF FUN THINGS! FUN THINGS YOU CAN DO! AND-THE-FOOD-IS-REAL~LY-TAAA-STY! SUPER FUN TIME BINGO! SUPER FUN TIME BINGO! YEAH~!"
Everyone applauded and kept screaming at Vegeta to do more. After someone offered him a few more drinks, Vegeta really got going, pretty much singing Kanye West's entire production after it was requested to him. Not knowing the lyrics didn't stop him from trying.
At the end of the night when everyone was clearing off to bed or to better parties, Bulma had to carry Vegeta to his dorm on her back.
"Damn this is guy is heavy," Bulma groaned to herself. "I mean, he's like four feet tall! Does his hair add an extra thirty pounds or something?"
"I heard that," Vegeta mumbled incoherently.
"So, whaddya say?" Bulma asked. "You coming to my place or what?"
"...just me?"
"Oh, um, no, everyone else is coming too, ehheh..." Bulma said nervously. "I'm always this generous!"
"Yeah, whatever, I'm coming," Vegeta promised.
~o~O~o~
The next morning...
"WHAT THE HELL DID I PROMISE LAST NIGHT?!"
"Ohhhh, Vegeta," Krillin groaned from his bedroom, too hung over to care about the repercussions. "Please, not so loud..."
"I'LL SCREAM HOWEVER LOUD I W- oh, God, that hurts like hell... just how much did I drink last night?"
"Morning, guys!" Goku greeted annoyingly cheerfully. "I made coffee, come and get some!"
Vegeta had never heard his rival say anything smarter. However, as he stumbled to the kitchen, he still had to tolerate Goku's company and annoyingly chirpy whistling as he was on his phone – he couldn't be trusted to use a computer or anything fancier.
"Hey, Vegeta," Goku said suddenly when Vegeta was busy wanting to die. "Have you seen this YouTube video? That guy singing looks just like you!"
"The hell are you jibbering ab..." Vegeta paused when Goku shoved his phone in Vegeta's face. "Shit," he said quietly. "What was I on last night?!"
Still, because his Saiyan pride made him keep his promises, and because staying in the dorm would have meant tolerating everyone pointing and singing the Bingo song at him, Vegeta decided to keep his word and come with the others to the Capsule Corporation headquarters.
At least Bulma hadn't lied about being rich, Vegeta thought to himself. Maybe this won't be that bad, after all.
Just then, Krillin also dragged himself to the breakfast table, sitting as far away from Vegeta as possible. Still, thinking the Saiyan was too hung over to work up the energy to blast his limbs off, Krillin decided to brag about the events of last night's party.
"Man, you will not believe who I talked to last night," Krillin told Goku.
"Was it that Maron you were talking about?" Goku asked him. "You know, I'm pretty good at judging people and she seemed like a nice person."
"Uhhh... not, really," Krillin said evasively. "We, uh, decided it would never work out between us..."
Last night, Krillin regained consciousness hanging from his underwear at the top of the flagpole.
"But no, I met her roommate," Krillin said. "You know, 18? She was so confident, had amazing piercing eyes and she could break a flagpole in half with one blow! I don't want to brag, but I'd say we hit it off pretty well."
Get me out of here, Vegeta thought to himself. What did you make me promise, Bulma?!
When Krillin started talking about asking Bulma's permission for something, Vegeta left before he blew something up, deciding to get some fresh air. Along the way, he punched out someone who congratulated him for his heartfelt performance of 'Stronger' last night.
A bit later, Goku, Krillin and a reluctant Vegeta met up with Bulma, Chi-Chi, Yamcha, Yajirobe, Tien and Chiaotzu outside. Bulma's father, Dr. Briefs, had promised to come pick them up, but since they all couldn't fit in one car, Bulma mentioned that Piccolo had also 'acquired transportation', having agreed to come after Bulma had bugged him for several hours. Everyone else also had to hastily cancel their plans when Bulma had told them about her slip of the tongue with Vegeta and not wanting to make things awkward. Then again, Tien's plan was to stay in his dorm just working out and studying for the next semester, which Chiaotzu found incredibly boring, while Yamcha and Yajirobe didn't even have much plans, anyway.
"Uh, by the way, Bulma," Krillin spoke up suddenly as the group talked about travel arrangements.
Bulma sighed. "What did you do now?" she asked him.
"You said it was okay for me to come, right?" Krillin asked uncertainly.
"We haven't kicked you out yet, haven't we?"
"Well... is it okay for me to bring someone else, too?"
"...who?"
"Hey, guys," a bored-sounding girl said as she joined the group.
Android 18, carrying a backpack with her, had suddenly appeared. Glancing at her, Bulma grabbed Krillin's ear and painfully dragged him out of the group's earshot.
"You can't just invite any random delinquent into my home!" Bulma hissed at him. "You better not have told her about the pool!"
"Oh, come on, Bulma!" Krillin complained. "You're acting like she's murdered our loved ones or something!"
"No, I just see what you're trying to do, and if you're going to be a creep, you can do it here at school while we're at my place!"
"It's not what you think! We talked, and she seemed really nice! Amazing strength, too! And you wouldn't believe what she's been through! She has no family to go to, except for her two brothers, one of whom talks to animals and the other one is high all the time! Apparently her father was killed or something!"
"Oh..." Bulma said slowly. "Well... if she gets out of line, I'm holding you responsible!"
"...ominous, but I'll take it," Krillin said.
As Bulma and Krillin returned, there was an awkward silence between 18 and everyone else. Finally, Yamcha tried to say something clever:
"So, you're 18, right? Or is it Number 18? Or #18? Or hashtag-eighteen? Because that's a pretty unusual name."
"My father was very dull," 18 deadpanned.
"Well, you're welcome to our place," Bulma said, putting a forced cheer in her voice. "I'm, uh, sorry to hear about your family."
18 snorted. "That sappy story I made up for him?" she laughed. "I just wanted to get out of here for the holidays. The part about my brothers was true, though. Well, only one of them is my actual brother, I guess. Long story."
"...right," Bulma sighed, glaring at Krillin. "Well, uh, I'm glad Krillin asked you along, I suppose..."
"Yeah, well, I had to take pity on him after I saw him talking to my roommate," 18 sighed and glanced at Krillin. "Of course, if I had known he was just hitting on her, I would have left him hanging up there."
Krillin laughed nervously.
Finally, the ones everyone had been waiting for, Piccolo and Nail showed up.
"Hey, everyone!" Nail greeted while Piccolo muttered something. "Thanks for letting me spend the holidays at your place, Bulma! We didn't really have anything planned, so-"
"I did," Piccolo grumbled.
"You just wanted to stay in the dorm!"
"...your point being?"
"No problem!" Bulma said cheerfully to end the argument. "I'm sure we're gonna have a great time! So, Piccolo, I was thinking that Chi-Chi, Goku, Vegeta, Krillin and, well, 18, I guess, could ride with us, and you'll take the rest. How do you plan on getting to our place?"
"I got a car," Piccolo said. "Don't ask me how I got it."
"Wait, you're driving?" Nail asked him in horror.
"Who else?"
"So, who wants to ride in the front?" Nail asked everyone. "Because you can count me out."
"Damn it, Nail!" Piccolo snapped.
Piccolo then caught Krillin staring at him with a goofy smile on his face.
"What?" Piccolo growled.
"You two are just adorable!" Krillin said.
Someone kill me now, Vegeta thought to himself.
"Oh, and hey, Vegeta," Piccolo taunted," gotta hand it to you: that was one of the best drunk renditions of 'Black Skinhead' I've ever heard."
"Kiss my ass, green man!"
A/N: Apologies to anime fans everywhere. It's all in good fun - and people who like that stuff are always a bit ashamed of themselves anyway. I know I wouldn't be caught dead admitting to writing fanfics. Also, yes, it has been over four months since I updated this. Thanks to all those who reviewed and found this amusing, I hope I can continue the trend. Basically, this ended up being one of those stories I update 'whenever', mainly as the best ideas for it came from my sister (props!) and because of my Pokémon and SNK fanfiction. Thank you for reading and happy December and any holidays you might like!