Chapter 2) Empty bottle
It was late. To late. She would be here by now. The church bells rang ten times some time ago. He didn't know exactly how long ago but he knew one thing. She was late! And that pissed him off and made him feel abandoned at the same time, making shivers run all over his body. Could be side effects from the pills, the drugs, he needed to take but he knew better. It wasn't like she hadn't left him before. She needed to get… stuff, all kind of things. Go to a market, go shopping. But this time it was different, this time she was with a boy. And he remembered very clear how her last 'date' was like.
'Dozed her off the fuckshit did.' His grip around the leather of the sofa tightened. 'Had to drive her all the way to El Fantstico.' Annoyed by the memories of being helped by El he grabbed the bottle of licker on his right. 'Next time I see him I will shoot him.' He took a draught of the burning licker. 'Fucking bad word selection.'
It had almost been a year since he became blind. Since his life changes drastically and turned into a bigger hell than it already was. He'd been thrown on a lot of different rollercoaster's of stress, fear and suffer. He'd been shot, treated as a fucking nut and hurt in a lot of other ways.
And the most hurtful part was, he couldn't do a thing about it. Everything had just happened to him and half of the time he just had to take it and keep his mouth shut.
'All because of that stupid brave heart Mariachi.' The grip on the bottle stiffened. 'To light hearted to leave the girly alone, thinking I couldn't handle it myself.' The truth was he couldn't have handled it, but he was to damn proud to admit it, even to himself. He still liked to believe he was the strong powerful agent, always ready to shoot and kill for his goals. But in his heart he knew he wasn't any longer.. NO… he needed to stay calm and get doped up everyday. And she had to rub that all in his face every god damn time he was about to lose his temper. Stupid kid, killing was one way of keeping the balance. And balance was everything so in one very twitsted way… killing was a good thing for him. It had been so long since the last time he killed or even shoot at someone
'And it's because she won't let me,' he thought angrily, 'like they would miss one person in this whole city.' Like that salesman, he could have a good deed shooting that mans brain out. But no! The kid had to make him walk away and she even bought something! Bought some useless piece of plastic because he had threatened the man. 'The god damn ass couldn't even understand what I was saying!' Sands thought angry, taking another sip of the bottle.
He heard a sound coming from the front door. Without hesitating he pulled his gun out and aimed at the door. There where soft footsteps and the light got switched on.
"Don't shoot, it's me." The kid said casual.
He pulled his gun from safety. "I'm not sure yet, Lizzy-O." He said with a low warning tone. He was very pissed and only thought it was fair to warn her just now.
'Owh c'mon Sands!" She fired. "I went out for the first time in many, many months! And you threatened him!"
He lowered his gun. "Damn right I did, remember the last 'guy' you liked? You saw pretty shiny colours for three days in a row."
He heard her sigh in annoyance. "I made a mistake back then, kay! Jeez, why do you always think I will end up with a homicidal lunatic?!"
"Look with who you're living, kiddy." And he added. "You are just a lousy picker of man."
"Well at least I get some attention." She said fleeting.
Sands felt a blow in his stomach and was glad he had put his gun down because his hand was craving to pull the trigger. "Dare to say one more thing and I'll kill you bitch!" She went quiet, probably realising what she had said. It stabbed him, stupid kid always knew how to get on his nerves. One day she would go to far!
"You know what, Lizzy fuck you! Do whatever you want but don't come back crying your ass off when he fucks you and throws you away like you're nothing!" he stood up and stamped towards his room. "Stupid little girl!" And his door slammed shut.
Lizz stared at the door in dismay. She'd thought he would yell at her, told her shit and cursed at her for being late. But this was far worse, he made her feel guilty.
'That was not suppose to happen…' Her lips curled down and she sat on the sofa, still staring at the door. 'Why does he always have to make a big fuss out of everything? Why can't he let me have one night of fun without making me feel guilty!'
A soft voice reminded her of what she'd said. She hadn't really meant it, didn't even want to mention it but it was out before she knew it. Slowly it started to get clear what her words meant to him. -Freak, eyeless freak, disgusting- 'God I'm so stupid.' Her shoulders dropped and she bit her lip. 'Stupid, stupid, stupid!' She wished she could take her words back, but the damage was already done.
Slowly, hating herself she stood up and walked into her room. Tomorrow she would say sorry and let him yell at her as long as was necessary. But right now, she knew better than to go to his room.
.-.-.-.
Lizz couldn't fall asleep. Thinking about Julio, about how much she liked him. And then she thought about Sands. He meant more to her than she would ever have thought. It was hard to live with him. The first couple of month… were just one big hell. She couldn't leave him alone for a moment because he would go back into silence. He would do things to himself, she never ever wanted to see again. She had known from the start what he could do to others, but torturing himself... Beating himself up, cursing and reminding himself of all the terrible things he had done. Some days he would wake up, thinking he was still in the Centre and she was death. It was so hard to get him back into reality, screaming she wasn't real.
'But that was all over now', she reminded herself. All the bad things were gone. She hoped. Living with Sands was living with insanity, you never knew what to except.
There was a stumbling sound in the hallway. Lizz's eyes snapped open, had she been asleep? She turned her head and looked at her alarm clock, it was five past one. Still dizzy from the sleep she turned her head towards the door. In a second she was fully awake.
Sands was standing in the frame of her doorway in silent. In his hand he hold a bottle and in his other a gun. Lizz stared back at him, not moving to make a sudden sound. He must think she was still asleep and she wanted to keep it that way, for her and his sake.
She studied him closely as he took a swig of the drink. He stood there in silence for a long time, taking a few more swigs of his drink. He mumbled something and his baring tightened. A hollow feeling started to take over Lizz' stomach. There was something going on with Sands…
Slowly Sands shook his head and turned up towards her. "I know you're awake."
Lizz swallowed. Hell and destruction here I come. She sat up, making enough noise to tell him what she was doing. Since she'd moved in she always made sure she wore something noisy, to tell him where she was and that it was really her
"What are you doing?" She asked him.
He shrugged. "You tell me lizz." His words sounded hollow, empty, just as the bottle she noticed. Her eyes narrowed, the idiot,how many times she had to tell him alcohol and pills were one of the worst combo's ever.
"You've been drinking?" she asked slightly reproached.
"What is this fucking glass for, stupid?" He grinned and let the bottle drop on the ground. "Answering a question with a question, isn't that a bit low?"
"Then I'll answer your question first. You are standing here in my room, in the middle of the night, with a gun and an empty bottle of what ever that was."
He didn't reply, his bearing changes and his grin disappeared. He placed the gun back between his belt and turned around.
"Sands?"
"Go back to sleep." He said walking throw her doorway.
"Sands I'm sorry kay? I didn't mean to-"
His head snapped and for a moment she looked into the darkness of his glasses. "I said get back to sleep, Lizz!" He turned around and slammed the door, leaving her worried.