His body awoke before his mind, and although he dreamt of a vast nothingness, the feeling of sleep was comforting. Castiel turned over and tried to burrow further into the silk sheets. For a moment he could pretend that he was back in his own bed, in his own house, and that nothing had happened last night. Any second Anna would wake him up for breakfast and shoo him away to Academy. But he knew where he really was, far away from his sister, locked away like a prisoner.
A beam of golden light landed directly over Castiel eyes. He saw no use in trying to fall back asleep now that his drowsiness had completely left.
He sat up from his tangled mess of bed sheets and pillows, taking a better look his surroundings.
The room was simple. Warm olive green painted the walls and accents of gold and a darker shade of green complemented it. A worn trunk fit snugly against the foot of the heavy wooden bed frame. Iron swirls rose headboard behind his head. It reminded Castiel of the gates keeping him from his sister. A tall dresser stood between two nondescript doors on the opposite wall of the bed, a third door sat adjacent to the door furthest to the left. There was a small writing desk centered along a window that covered the majority of the right-hand wall; a glass door blended in with the window and lead to a balcony outside. The door and windows were all locked. A huge painting mirrored the window on the left-hand side. It depicted an old battle, but Castiel couldn't recall its name.
All the furniture looked liked it was carved from the same dark mahogany wood. Everything was slightly worn with age, giving it a sense of comfort. Castiel thought someone must have live in this room a long time ago.
The only modern technology in the room was lamp and an old phone on top of one of the nightstands that flanked the bed.
An exploration of the rest the room was quick. Behind one door was a deep walk in closet, and the other hid a bathroom. The window overlooked the north side of the lake. Castiel could see a wide stone walkway lead to beautiful gardens and distant forests.
Someone had left a neatly folded stack of clothes and a towel on top of the wooden trunk. When Castiel picked up the pile, a slip of paper fluttered to the floor.
Feel free to clean yourself up and change clothes. When you're ready dial #221. Someone will escort you to the kitchens for breakfast. If the clothes don't fit, look in the closet, anything in there is yours. I had to guess on the size.
On the back there was another sentence. As if the person who wrote the note scribbled it down as an afterthought.
You're not supposed to feel like a prisoner
Castiel put the note on the desk and tried to keep it out of his mind.
His shower was quick. It felt good to try to scrub away everything that happened in the past day. But when the smooth tiles of the shower stall seemed to compress and close in around him, Castiel stepped out from under the hot spray of water.
He stood in front of the mirror, his reflection distorted by the fogged surface. He forced himself to breathe, slow and controlled, until the tightness in his chest lessened and his staggered breathing returned to normal. Eventually the world stopped caving in too.
When the fog started to retreat from the glass, Castiel caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror. A dark bruise had bloomed across part of his temple and was tender to the touch. Anna's ring still on the chain around his neck glimmered in the overhead light.
Castiel rifled through clothes that had been laid out for him. The pants were casual, not made for riding or hard labor; they fit well enough in most places but hung a bit too loosely from his hips. The button-up shirt was more form fitting than the one he wore the day before. It was obvious the clothes were tailored for somebody else. Someone not much taller than himself, but someone who had wider hips and broader shoulders. He supposed it would have to do and reminded himself to look for a belt.
The number Castiel was told to call connected to the Manor's Guard station. Before Castiel could utter a greeting, a brusque voice told him someone would be sent to escort him to the kitchen.
Castiel realized that his cloak was missing while he was waiting, and that there was no way of knowing where it had fallen off at. In defeat, Castiel put his older sister's ring in the top drawer of the dresser for safe keeping.
He wished he would have given it back to be before she had been taken away.
After a few minutes the young female Guard from the night before, Jo, opened the door and gestured to for him to step into the hallway.
Castiel didn't try to hide his resentment towards the Guard. Inspite of what the note said, he felt as trapped as a prisoner within the stone walls of the Manor.
"If you were wondering, I volunteered to do this," she said when Castiel didn't move from the doorway. "None of the other Guards would have bothered with you."
Castiel didn't understand was she was trying to accomplish by pretending to be nice to him.
"Besides, you wouldn't want your food to get cold."
Castiel couldn't do anything to stop the pain of losing Anna as he followed stiffly behind Jo. The Guard wound through a maze of hallways and staircases rattling off weak attempts to get Castiel to talk.
As they walked, Castiel noticed a few things about the girl that had changed since she had taken him to his room the night before. Instead of a tightly knotted bun, her pale blonde curls fell loosely against her back. There were scuffs on her boots and wrinkles in her uniform. Jo was no longer looked like a trained soldier leading a prisoner from his cell, but rather a girl a little younger than Castiel casually walking down the hallway guiding a guest to breakfast.
The Guard stopped in front of a heavy wooden door adorned with a simple golden plate engraved with KITCHENS, before turning around to look Castiel in the eye as she spoke.
"Bobby's waiting to explain some things to you. Hopefully it will help to clarify anything that you were confused about." Her voice then dropped quieter as if she was telling him a secret. "It's not my place to say anything, but I think after a while, you'll fit in with rest of us. Dean just takes awhile to get use to. I promise."
When Jo opened the door, it was dampening more sound than Castiel had realized. An older woman sternly rebuked a hand full of cooks as the scrambled back and forth trying to please her. Two male Guards sat a small table gossiping with two maids, the subject of their whisperings sending them all into a fit of laughter.
Another two men in more ordinary clothes sat at another table a few feet away from the first one. One was more of boy than a man, and the other looked like he was a few years older than his father. They were in the middle of their own deep conversation.
All talking and other noises stopped as the people in the kitchen became aware of Castiel standing in the doorway. The woman cleared her throat, and the maids scurried out another door which allowed Jo to take a seat with the male Guards. The woman also dismissed the cooks and started distributing platefuls of food. Three to the first table and three to the second.
"Are you just going to stand there all morning or eat?" asked the woman when Castiel still hadn't moved from his spot right inside the kitchen door. She motioned for Castiel to sit at the empty place setting.
Castiel found himself tensing up at every loud scrap of metal against metal or scuffle of a chair against the work floor. The last time he had had a meal with this many people, it was the last night he stayed with his father. The oldest of Castiel's brothers came to the dinner at the Capital, and the night ended disastrously because of multiple strong personalities clashing. After Castiel managed to swallow a few bites of his breakfast, the man in front of him cleared his throat a couple of times and then addressed everyone eating in the kitchen.
"I think some introductions are in order." Beside the older man, the boy's bright smile was battling Castiel's grim one. "Because there's no need for formalities from you, you can call me Bobby. And this is Sam the-"
"The youngest son of Commander Winchester. I know," interrupted Castiel. In the past few years that he had lived with Anna, she had told him many stories about the Winchester brothers.
Bobby nodded and said, "Next is Ellen Harvelle." He pointed out the older woman who had been ordering around the cooks. "She pretty much keeps the Manor in working condition."
Ellen gave Bobby a mocking smile. "You're damn right I do."
"Then we have our head Guardsmen," continued the old man.
The three Guards quickly scrambled to stand up alongside each other; the two men flanked Jo in the center.
Sam shot up too and took over speaking from Bobby. "They don't look like much, but they're some of the finest men we've had in a long time. Ash is the shorter one on the left. He's head of security and communications, and you've already met Jo. She was assigned to my personal protection until she graciously offered to be your escort. And lastly there's Benny. He's assigned to watch Dean."
Castiel couldn't stand to look at the Guards now that he had names for their faces. Benny was the Guard who had knocked Castiel unconscious outside the Gate. Ash had helped drag him to the Manor.
Bobby pulled Sam back into his seat and spoke again. "I've arranged for you to continue your studies with Sam while you stayed here. Sam's quite advanced for his age, but I can take out things you already know."
"But about my Officer's Exam?" The test to become a Union Officer was the one thing set up by his father that Castiel was actually looking forward to.
"What about it?" Bobby did not look impressed.
"I'm supposed to take the test in December. It's been planned for months."
"Aren't you a little young to be an Officer?" asked Sam.
When Castiel stole a glance around the room, he could see everyone staring back at him. "My father starting training me to become an Officer at a very young age, and because of that I was able to shorten my time on each level of Academy. If I pass the exam by the end of the year, I'd been the youngest person to become an Officer since the formation of the Union. I will have beaten the record previously set by my eldest brother by a year."
Bobby spoke from across the small table. "You really do sound like one of General Novak's sons."
Castiel mentally closed himself off again. His mood had started to get better, until he was compared to his brothers.
Sam's impressed expression contrasted with everyone elses in the room. The younger boy opened his mouth to bombard Castiel with questions about his training when a fit of coughing overcame him. He grew pale and struggled to take a breath before another cough hit.
The three Guards were at Sam's side immediately. Ellen hurried to cupboard and handed the box she found to Ash as he and Benny whisked Sam from the kitchen.
"I'm going to find Jody," Ellen said as she followed the boys out of the door.
In a matter of seconds, Castiel was left standing in the kitchen with Bobby and Jo. He was glad the rest of breakfast was called off after Sam's coughing had faded down the hallway. Castiel wasn't hungry anymore.
Bobby promised to drop a few books by his room later in the day and let Jo usher Castiel back to his room.
She informed Castiel of rules he was supposed to follow when he was in the Manor unescorted, including places he could visit whenever he like, and areas that were strictly off limits. Castiel tried to listen at first but was distracted by the growing knot that had formed in the pit of his stomach. All of Jo's speech turned to undecipherable noises in the back of his mind.
"So do you understand the rules, at least for right now? They'll change once everything gets settled."
Castiel nodded his head not wanting to completely lie to her.
Jo told him she'd he back in an hour or so and then left the room in a hurry.
...
The world outside the window should have been beautiful. The surrounding forest was reluctant to give up its leaves for the fall, gold and green blended seamlessly together, and the ground was still warm enough for the multicolored summer flowers in the garden to continue to bloom next to the warmer toned autumn perennials. A bright, cloudless sky stretched beyond the horizon of the trees.
But Castiel didn't feel any of it. He felt empty without his sister hovering over him. He felt like an idiot for jumping head first into something when Anna said to trust her.
Castiel could see someone letting the horses out of the stables and into a fenced in pen. He wanted nothing more than to collect Grace and leave the Winchester Manor. Instead he remained at the writing desk staring out the window until he heard a knock on the door.
When Castiel didn't answer immediately, Jo opened the door. "Where would you like to go?"
Castiel turned to face her. The Guard looked restless.
His first thought was of going back to Anna's house, until he realized she meant inside the Manor. He racked his brain for a place that Jo had mentioned on the way back to the room.
"You mentioned a library earlier? I haven't been to one since I was a young child."
Jo instantly brightened. "Yes, of course. I think you'll love it there. We have quite an impressive collection."
Castiel obediently followed the Guard down the hallway and stopped when an older maid with deep wrinkles and greying hair stepped out of a room and started to question Jo about Sam's current condition.
"Do you remember how to get to the kitchen?" Jo asked Castiel when she noticed him growing uncomfortable. He nodded. "Okay. Go the same way, but instead of going all the way to the bottom of the staircase, stop at landing above it. Turn left down the hallway, then turn right, and the entrance to the library is the door on the left. You got all that?" Castiel nodded again. "Okay, I'll see you there in a minute."
Jo pulled the maid into an alcove off the hallway to have more privacy, and Castiel attempted to follow her along the way he must have made a mistake.
The corridor he ended up finding was windowless and dark; the only source of light was coming from a set of double doors at the far end. After taking a few tentative steps forward, Castiel determined that there were no other door along the hallway, and instead found both walls lined with a row of huge portraits. And after a few more steps, Castiel could see that the paintings were of past Commanders and the Winchester family.
He didn't any of the faces until he found himself standing at the opposite end of the dark hallway. Light shining from underneath the door made the the details of the paintings easier to see.
The first portrait Castiel could clearly see depicted Henry Winchester, a proud man with dark hair and a stern face, standing next to his wife and young son, John.
The painting across from it was hidden behind a white sheet. A thick cloud of dust filled the air when Castiel removed it. In the painting, John was now a man standing proudly beside his wife Mary. The metal plate underneath the portrait declared it was made shortly after their wedding. It was easy to see how young they were, radiating with love and happiness.
Finally, Castiel faced the last painting. It showed a similar arrangement to the one of Henry and his family. John was a hand full of years older and still standing next to his wife, who now held an infant Sam protectively in her arms. In front of Mary stood their other son, Dean, who looked as if he was trying to imitate his father. He couldn't have been more than five years old. All details in the family's portrait was extraordinary, from the gold filament details on Mary's dress to intense green of Dean's wide eyes.
Castiel found it a shame that the painting had been ruined. The canvas was in two by a slash running down from Mary's left shoulder down to Dean's right shoulder. He had to place hand on one of the edges to keep it from falling down.
Castiel was deep in his thoughts about the happy and smiling family when the closed doors burst open flooding Castiel and the rest of the paintings in a blinding light. He managed to drop his hands from the wall, but his feet were glued to the ground.
Castiel was now face-to-face with those vivid green eyes in the flesh, though now all traces of Dean's past innocence was gone.
Now his eyes were filled with rage.
"What the hell do you think you're doing here?" roared Dean. "This entire part of the Manor is forbidden."
No coherent words came out of Castiel's mouth. First he was caught off guard and startled, then anger also flooded his system. Dean had no right to yell at Castiel. It pushed him over the edge, and Castiel was desperate to get it all out.
So he ran.
Castiel somehow got to the gardens and ran to the stables behind the Manor. He found his riding stuff, and with a numb mind and numb fingers he saddled Grace and left the Manor behind him.
He made it to the top of the hill outside the gate before he heard people shouting. Castiel spurred his horse faster and shot down the path that would lead back to the main road.
Then for the second time that day, Castiel found himself lost. The flurry of emotions inside of Castiel had taken control of his body, and when he was finally able to stop and take a deep breath, he knew he had accidentally strayed from the right path.
Castiel breathed in deeply a few more times to clear his head, dismounted Grace, and looked around at his surroundings. He and his horse stood in a small clearing only a few yards wide in each direction. Despite being mid-day, the dense canopy over Castiel's head let in only few beams of sunlight.
Castiel was reminded of all the times Anna dragged him and Gabriel out for picnics in the woods near their house. Gabriel would load his pocket with sweets and eat so many that he couldn't move for hours afterwards.
It took a minute for Castiel to realize something was off. Everything in the clearing was silent: no insects, no birds, no animals. Besides crunch of dried grass beneath his boots and the occasional huff from Grace, the rest of the world had been muted. It made Castiel uncomfortable and set him on edge.
He needed to get back to the main road. Needed to get back to Anna.
He planned rest for a few more minutes, but the break was interrupted by the echos of a branch snapping followed by low growls.
As Castiel scrambled to lift himself up and over the saddle, something huge and fast lunged out of shadows towards him. It managed to sink its jaws into one of Castiel's shoulders and rake its dagger like claws across his back. The force knocked Castiel to the ground and made him land awkwardly on his hand. A shooting pain in his wrist soon joined the feeling of a fire burning it way across his shoulder and down his back.
Grace became spooked at the sudden motion, and vicious snarling the continued to fill the small clearing. The horse reared back and narrowly missed Castiel where he was thrown onto the forest floor. Once her front hooves touched the ground again, Grace took off back through the dense trees.
Castiel yelled for his horse to come back, but she never did. Now Castiel was alone and completely defenseless against the animal that attacked him.
A monster of an animal loomed only a few feet in front of Castiel, set and ready to attack at the slightest movement. It looked like a wolf the size of a fully grown bear and had thick rippling muscles and huge paws with wickedly sharp claws. Its eyes looked as if they were glowing in the dim light.
The world seemed to spin when Castiel grew light headed. He started to feel cold even though it was the hottest part of the day. Time began to slow as Castiel closed his eyes and carefully curled inward towards his chest and injured arm.
Castiel thought he heard the sounds of a horse galloping to the clearing and man shouting his name. A thundering bang and a crashing thump soon followed.
He knew he was about to die.
Castiel came to with someone gently shaking his good shoulder and softly calling out his name. When he opened his eyes, Dean's green ones were looking back at him. This time they didn't look angry, just full of frustration and worry. Dean silently helped Castiel stand and onto the back of his horse. From the corner of his eye, Castiel could see the wolf lying in a pool of dark blood, a gunshot wound still oozing from its side.
Dean didn't say a word the entire ride back to the Manor. He didn't rebuke Castiel for the rash decision he made that ended with him seriously hurt. He didn't comment when Castiel rested his forehead in the crook of Dean's neck and placed his arms around Dean's waist. He only tried to make sure Castiel stayed awake.
When an especially rough bump jostled Castiel's hurt wrist too much or when the cool wind whipped around to Castiel's back and stung the exposed skin through his shredded shirt, Castiel would tightly grip fabric on the front of Dean's jacket until the pain lessened. Dean didn't say anything about it; he set his face in blank determination and will his own personal horse to get back to the Manor faster.
Dean got as close to the Manor as he could and quickly after that gentle hands eased Castiel to the ground. He called for someone to find a woman named Jody, practically carried Castiel into the kitchen.
He carefully set Castiel in a chair before hurrying around the kitchen collecting various things Castiel couldn't see. It was beginning to take too much effort to keep his eyes open
"You'll need to take your shirt off."
It took a second for Castiel to register what Dean had said. His brain had to fight through a thick fog.
"What?"
Dean reached out a hand to the part of the shirt covering Castiel's uninjured shoulder.
Castiel flinched away from him. "Don't touch me."
"Your wounds need to be cleaned before they can be stitched up. I'll be quick, you've already lost too much blood" The man came over with a bowl of warm water and a clean rag. Dean shed his jacket and rolled up the sleeves of his shirt past his elbows.
He managed to focus on the freckles that dusted the skin along Dean's nose and cheekbones instead of his own blood smeared across Dean's shirt and hands. "I would give you something for the pain, but you might have a concussion. Now lean onto the table so I can see your back."
Castiel passed out seconds after Dean touched the rag to his skin.
What felt like minutes later, Castiel slowly opened his eyes to see an unfamiliar woman staring at him.
"Look who decided to finally join the land of the living." The woman gave him a motherly simile and brushed a few strands of her short hair out of her face. "My name is Jody."
Castiel tried to sit up fully, but Jody pushed him back down to rest against his inclined pillows. "How long was I asleep?"
"You were pretty much unconscious and unresponsive for three days. Had Dean worried sick, would sit here with you for hours waiting for you to wake up. The others were worried about you too."
"I highly doubt Dean cares that much about me. He pretty much hated me from first moment he saw me."
"Sounds like the two of you have a lot to talk about when he gets back from a meeting."
Castiel stayed silent and thought about Dean until his body had a chance to catch up to his mind. All the nerve-endings under his skin jolted awake and sent shivers of uncomfortable pain all over his body. Jody noticed his distress and helped him drink a bitter tasting tea. She apologised that she didn't have anything stronger at the time.
"What was the extent of my injuries?" he asked the woman.
She sighed. "The bite to your shoulder dislocated it but the teeth managed not to severely damage any muscle or bones. The cuts on your back were mostly superficial although they were deep enough to need stitches and to cause major blood were a few cuts and scratches on your arms and legs. Your wrist wasn't broken but close to it. It will need to be braced and supported for a few weeks. Blood loss along with dehydration and pure exhaustion cause you to become unconscious, and out of all of that you somehow saved yourself from a concussion. Count yourself lucky, you could be dead right now."
Jody stayed with him for a few more minutes, telling him he needed to stay in bed the rest of the week to heal some more. She then explained some other things he could or couldn't do until he had fully recovered. She left with a promise to see him again soon and to send someone up with some food.
Castiel wasn't expecting Dean to be the one to deliver his food. Bobby came with him but stayed in the doorway. Dean set a tray carrying a steaming bowl of broth and a tall pitcher of cool water down on the nightstand to the side of Castiel's good arm .
"Do you feel better?" asked Dean.
"I thought you would start yelling at me by now."
"I didn't mean to make you upset," he paused and turned to Bobby before looking back at Castiel. "You weren't supposed to be there. My...father doesn't like when strangers get too close to his private study. Besides, without my help, you'd be dead right now."
"I didn't ask for your help. I can protect myself." Castiel felt
Dean looked pointedly at all of Castiel's injuries. "Fine."
He purposely strode out of the room not looking back at Castiel or Bobby.
"Give Dean some time. He has good intentions, but doesn't always execute them in the best way." Bobby sounded like he was dealing with small children bickering at one another. He followed after Dean and left Castiel alone with his thoughts.
The rest of the week moved slowly for Castiel.
Jody visited him everyday after lunch to check his progress. She was surprised to see that he was healing rather quickly; the stitches would come out at the end of the week if they were healed enough, and Castiel's wrist could be unwrapped from it's bandage a week after that. Every time she left for the day, Jody reminded him how lucky he was Dean found him in time.
Bobby brought him books to read while he was awake. Castiel disagreed with the ideas in the first book he read. It was about a short war took place hundreds of years ago in the east that. Many of the details including the outcome of the war was incorrect and went against what Castiel's Academy books said happened. When Castiel confronted the old man about it, he simply said his books never lied. Castiel didn't bother to argue back.
Jo was the main one to bring Castiel's meals to his room. In the beginning had felt guilt in not staying with him so he wouldn't have gotten lost in the Manor. Castiel told her that he was never upset with her.
Benny and Ash also stopped by his room to apologize on morning. Castiel see how sincere they were managed to forgive them. The pair visited him often after that.
Sam checked in with him when others weren't in the room. Castiel genuinely enjoyed Sam's compan. The younger boy would bring his a book to read quietly while Castiel read his own, or Sam would his personal chess set in an attempt to teach Castiel to play the game. They didn't talk unless necessary, but when they did, everything was kept to neutral topics.
Dean never came to visit Castiel again. After two weeks, he knew he had been angry at Dean for long enough. As much as it pained Castiel to admit, it has his turn to apologize for causing so much trouble.
...
Jody released Castiel from bedrest on a thursday, allowing him to stretch and walk around the room.
The scars on his back were still red and tender, the pain in his shoulder had subsided to a dull ache, and his wrist was securely wrapped and held in a sling against his chest. Jody warned him to be careful and to not push his body farther than it could go at one time.
Everyday Castiel added a little more distance down the hallway outside his room before his body started to protested and he needed one of the Guards watching him to help him back into bed.
Eventually Castiel made it to the very end of the hallway. Behind him Ash and Jo were still deep in a conversation about the best times to use a knife over a gun. In front of him two hallways came together to form a T. To the right was the staircase that lead to the kitchen and to the left was a hallway almost identical to the one where Castiel's bedroom was located. He noticed darkened windows lined the walls instead of doors. Slowly Castiel made his way further into the new hallway, surprised to find himself looking into an enormous ballroom instead of the lake and forest.
He supposed while in use, the ballroom would have looked breathtaking. But like much of the rest of the Manor, it had lost its shine. A fine layer of dust coated the marble floors and heavy drapery blocked most of the light coming in from the windows that covered the exterior walls. Even the golden accents on the crystal chandelier had tarnished.
Castiel had been to a few formal galas when he lived with his father in the Capital. As a child he had enjoyed the attention of being General Novak's youngest child at the time. Castiel didn't know what it would be like now that he was considered a man.
He stood and imagined what the room would look like during a party. Ladies in beautiful gowns and men dressed to intimidate others twirling with each other across the dance floor while an orchestra filled the entire space with music and soft conversations. He also found it amusing trying to imagine Bobby's old grumpy face in the middle of so much happiness.
Castiel was caught up inside his head and barely had time to react before Dean accidentally ran into him.
"Oh, Cas- I didn't see you standing there." Dean quickly crouched to retrieve the papers he had dropped and mumbled an apology. "Right. I'm just going to leave now. Sorry."
"Dean, wait I-" But the other man was already in the stairwell.
Castiel furrowed his eyebrows in confusion as he tried to work through Dean's actions. He gave up and slowly made his way to his room. He figured he'd stretched his legs enough for the day.
Jo and Ash hadn't even notice his absence.
Sam joined Castiel in his room after dinner. Castiel never mentioned his encounter with Dean earlier in the day. They discussed their latest assignment until Ash came to collect Sam for the night.
"Before I leave, I was wondering if you wanted to join us in the morning, every Sunday we have a family breakfast. I figured you were feeling cooped up here in this room all the time, and we do have an empty spot at the table for you, if you wanted it."
"I'll think about it." Castiel did think it would be nice to leave the room for a few hours, but he didn't want to intrude on something if it was a private, family matter.
After the younger boy left with his escort, Castiel changed into night clothes as fast as his injured arm allowed him, turned off the lights, closed the curtains, and promptly fell asleep.
Jo woke Castiel up when she knocked on his door. He kept his eyes closed as long as he could before the dream he was chasing after faded completely. Castiel shuffled out of bed and opened the door for Jo.
"Are you still wanting to come to breakfast?" she asked as she stepped inside the room. "You don't have to if you really don't want to."
"I don't want to be rude by declining Sam's offer. I need to change and then I will be ready." Castiel went into the closet grabbing the first set of clothes within reach and then went into the bathroom to change and brush his teeth. He didn't miss Jo's smirk as he tied the laces on his boots.
"Did I do something wrong?"
Jo schooled her expression. "No, you're fine. I just realized something."
Castiel walked with Jo towards the kitchen instead of furthering his questions.
Jo paused at one of the landings of the staircase. "Don't be nervous about breakfast. I know Sam said it was a family thing, but it's more like a friends thing. The only actually people related by blood there will be me and my mother and Sam and Dean."
"Not their father?"
"Mr. Winchester doesn't eat with the rest of us. He takes all his meals upstairs in his study."
"Who else will be there?"
"Bobby. He's always with the boys, kinda like a second father to them. Ash will always show up for food. He's kinda like the weird cousin that is slightly tolerable. Jody comes every once in a while if she doesn't have any patients. Bobby's friend, Rufus, has come a few times before, but he probably won't be there this morning."
"What about Benny? Isn't he in your group of friends?"
"Benny has his own family. He spends all his free time at home."
When Castiel and Jo had reached the kitchen doors, he steeled himself for awkwardness. Unlike the first time he had been in the kitchen, two of the tables were pushed together in a long row with chairs around the edges. Jo pointed to an empty spot at the end next to Sam for Castiel to sit at. Dean's carefully blank face looked everywhere but at Castiel from his seat directly across from him. Jo took her seat between Dean and her mother, and Bobby sat at the end of the long table opposite of the only unoccupied seat.
"Good morning," said Ellen. "Now that everyone's here, dig in."
Running down the center of the table were platters laden with food: eggs, sweet rolls and biscuits, hot sausages, gravies and other unknown sauces, and pitchers of juice, sweetened tea, and water.
Once he finished his second serving of food, Castiel placed his silverware on his plate and leaned slightly back in his chair. Everyone was finishing up around him too. He looked across at Dean who still wasn't making eye contact or talking with Castiel. The rest of the table had noticed it too.
"So, Castiel," said Sam after finishing a forkful of eggs. "Did you like the food?"
"Yes, very much. It reminded me of the times my sister and I had enough free time in the morning to eat together. Although she usually only made toast and eggs."
Ellen offered to make Castiel anything he wanted for next week's breakfast. Ash, Jo, and Sam offered their opinions too and soon all five of them were deep in planning the upcoming breakfast. Dean was only who remained silent.
A phone ringing broke up the conversation. Bobby stood to answer it and the conversation only lasted a short minute.
Bobby walked over to where Dean was sitting, "We need to go." He didn't wait for the younger man to follow.
"Do you really have to leave right now?" asked Sam to Dean.
"Sorry, Sammy. You know I don't make the rules." Dean looked at the clock on the wall. "I should be done after lunch."
"But that means that after lunch I'll be with Bobby all afternoon. You said-"
"I know what I said, Sammy. I promise we'll do something together before dinner." He ruffled his little brother's hair.
"And don't call me Sammy, Jerk. I'm not twelve."
"Whatever. See you later." Dean looked over his shoulder at Castiel for a second. "Bye, Cas."
A few minutes later, Ellen enlisted Castiel and Sam to help pack up the leftovers. They made several packages and handed them over to Jo and Ash so they could deliver to people around the Manor.
When they were done, Sam lead Castiel out of the kitchen to a sunny alcove with a window bench that looked out to the gates of the Manor. Sam explained to Castiel that he would be studying with Bobby for a few hours and that Castiel could join him instead of reading alone in his room. Castiel had started to missed his classes at Academy and quickly took up the younger boy's offer.
"I understand why Bobby had to go to a meeting, but why did Dean go too?" Castiel asked Sam as they looked out to the slowly brightening day.
"Dean's planning to take over for our father when he turns twenty-one at the beginning of next year. He sits in with Bobby during meetings to learn how to run everything."
"Why is Dean taking control so young?" There was nothing wrong with John stepping down and giving his power to Dean when he turned twenty-one, but families usually waited until the heir was older and had more experience with leading the country.
Sam shrugged his shoulders as much as he could from where they held his legs against his chest. "It's like your Officer's Exam. He's doing it because he can." His voice dropped to just above a whisper. "He's been waiting for a awhile now anyway."
They remained silent until Jo and Ash found the two of them. Jo mentioned it was Sam's favorite spot to hide while she took Castiel back to his room.
"A maid brought up some new books to your room to look through before this afternoon. Please don't go anywhere, if you need something call the Guard station. I'll be back later to take you to your lesson with Sam."
Susingly, Castiel didn't feel the need to escape. The terrible anxiety he had felt on his first day had calmed almost completely. A
nd throughout his time stuck in bed, Castiel had made tentative friendships with the Guards that watched over him and didn't want to ruin it.
He sat down at the desk and inspected the books Bobby had left for him. One was a journal detailing a few specific battles from the Third Great War, and the other was a dissertation on the formation and internal structure of the Union written it first came to power. Castiel was quite familiar with that topic, his father had started teaching him about it at a young age, then Castiel had elected to take more specialized classes about the Union at Academy.
Castiel took out a notebook and pen and began to meticulously annotate his readings. Before his stay at the Manor, it had been a long time since Castiel had used more manual methods for taking notes. Children in Academy read their texts on screens on their desks and kept notes on electronic tablets. Castiel wished he had his own tablet that was left back at Anna's house to cross-reference Bobby's sources and the Academy's. Something wasn't lining up between the two.
He took a break from his work when lunch, a small assortment for sliced meats, cheeses and a few rolls, was delivered to his room. Castiel pushed aside his papers and watched people busying around on the back lawns outside Castiel's window while he ate. Some were tending to the flowers in the garden, pulling up weeds and trimming bushes that marked the perimeter, others were clipping the lawn's grass and cleaning dirt and grime from the fountains and sidewalks. It had been beautiful before, but now life was bleeding back to the surface. Castiel opened the unlocked windows to let fresh air circulate through the room. He didn't mind when the cool breeze ruffled his hair or his papers.
Jo collected him shortly after he finished his meal. She lead him through the maze of stairs and hallways, never pausing to think about the turn next.
Castiel questioned Jo on her ability to never get lost.
"I've lived in this place pretty much my entire life," she answered, "When I was little, I played games with Dean and Sam all over the Manor. That's also how about all the secret passages."
Castiel was surprised. "What?"
"This place was built around the beginning of the war. They used the secret passages to smuggle people and things in and out of the Manor. Once we found them, they were boarded up, but I know for a fact that Dean still uses the one by the kitchen." Jo grimaced. "I don't think I was supposed to tell you that."
She didn't speak the rest of the way.
"Who am I going to tell," he mumbled. Castiel felt a lot lonelier in that moment.
The feeling ended when Sam greeted him as Castiel entered the room. It was similar to the room Castiel was first brought to the night he lost his sister. Instead of Guards, bookshelves lined the walls while short sturdy tables filled in the rest of the circular space. Sam smiled brightly, but the rest of his appearance was different. He looked tired, his skin was paler than Castiel remembered it to be, and his shaggy brown hair stuck up in random places. Even if the younger boy wasn't feeling good, Sam didn't let it interfere with keeping up with Castiel and Bobby in the classroom.
Sam was smart for his age. But Castiel was also advanced too, and Bobby had far more wisdom than both the boys combined. Castiel respected Bobby's knowledge although he still didn't agree with everything the man said at times.
The discussion over the journal went smoothly since it was a personal account of a soldier in the war. The soldier's story coincided with other known details with the battles.
Castiel didn't think knowing a single man's thoughts and opinions while he was fighting was important to his education. The fighting was over and those days had long passed.
"I don't understand why this was part of the curriculum?" stated Castiel in a lull in the conversation.
Bobby fixed his gaze at him. "Sometimes we don't have to understand something to appreciate it. You're young. You can't see how one person can change something bigger than himself."
After that they moved on to talking about the flaws in the way the Union operated. Castiel's entire being started to protest what was being said.
Sam would find a fault in something, even backing it up with text from one of the books, and stated a simple solution to the problem. Castiel learned years ago that things were set up the way they were, so that there were no flaws. No ways to fight the system and allow another war to destroy the world.
Surely a man that worked as the advisor for the Commander would see what he was telling Castiel and Sam was incorrect.
Castiel managed to hold his tongue the rest of the ended when Bobby noticed Sam growing sicker; he called for a Guard to help Sam back to his room. Castiel didn't stay much longer after the younger boy left.
He was almost done organizing his notes when Bobby came and stood in front of him.
"I know you don't agree with some things I've said today, boy. But pretty soon you're gonna have to figure out what you believe for yourself. You can't keep riding on other's opinions your whole life. I hope you realize you don't want to be just another soldier in your father's army."
Castiel's escort that day had to jog to catch up with how fast he left the room.
His feelings were mixed up again; he was angry at Bobby, annoyed with Dean, and frustrated at himself for letting everything get out of control in the first place. He ignored any attempts at conversation and requested to be left alone for the rest of the night.
The food that was brought to him for dinner went cold.
...
Castiel was glad t the people in the Manor had trusted him enough to unlock the door to his balcony.
He had sat at his desk and stared at the outside world long after the sun went down. But after a few hours his back ached from the stiff chair, and his body made its hunger known. Castiel stood to stretch his legs and to grab something off the food tray that was left for him outside the door.
Castiel had spent most of the night brooding over Bobby's comment. The Academy had taught him well. He trusted his father and older siblings, even if their relationship was rocky at best. He was going to become an Union officer because he wanted to do it not because someone was forcing him to do it.
Castiel took a bite out of the apple he picked up off the plate while he walked out onto the balcony. The night was perfect. It was warm enough not to need a jacket to cover his arms, but the cool breeze off the water reminded Castiel that summer was ending and soon winter would arrive. Stars shined brightly against a dark, cloudless sky. It took Castiel a minute to realize he wasn't the only one taking time to enjoy the peacefulness of the night.
Dean sat on the stone floor of the next balcony a few yards over to Castiel's right. His back rested against the brick of the Manor and his legs stretched out to the metal railing. He was caught off guard when Castiel spoke.
"You called me Cas."
Dean looked up in confusion. "Hmm?"
"Yesterday when we ran into each other in the hall. You called me Cas."
"I didn't mean to. Castiel is just a little-"
"It's fine, you can call me Cas. I just wasn't expecting it, only my brother Gabriel has ever called me something other than Castiel."
Castiel studied Dean; he appeared relaxed and more open sitting under the moonlight.
"Why did you save my life?" He asked Dean after a few moments of silence.
Dean reverted back to not looking at Castiel. "The moment you stepped onto the grounds of the Manor, you became my responsibility. And I did make a promise to watch out for you. I try not to break promises."
Castiel sank down to the ground.
"I think it's time for me to apologize," said Castiel. "I've been acting like an upset child lately."
Dean huffed out a bit of laughter and for the first time, really looked at Castiel. "It's not like I've been doing any better. Most of this is my fault anyway." Castiel met Dean's eyes as the other man continued to speak. "Do you think we could start over? Since we both had a part in screwing everything up."
Castiel nodded and mirrored Dean's position on the floor. He liked this version of Dean much more than the one that was ignoring him earlier.
"So, Cas, brings you outside at a time like this?" Dean said in a joking voice.
"I like to gaze at the stars sometimes, though I think there is a better view from my sister's house. The ground is flatter and there's no trees to obscure the view. What about you? I didn't think any of the other rooms on this floor were being used."
"Sam's room is around the corner. After I check on him for the night, I snuck out here to watch the stars too. My new room doesn't have a balcony."
They began a conversation about what they saw in the night sky after that.
Dean would pick out a constellation, and Castiel told him the story behind the name. Eventually they started making up their own constellations and stories. They only stopped to laugh at how strange some of the tales had gotten. Dean finished telling him a story of two people that had such an incredible love that when they died their story was written in the stars when Castiel started to yawn.
Castiel spoke softly close to falling asleep against the side railing. "If you're referring to the Gemini constellation, they're twins not lovers."
"It's just a story, one that my mother used to read to me. It doesn't really matter." Dean stood up and wiped his hands off on his pants. "Besides, I think it's time to say goodnight for us. See to in the morning, Cas."
Castiel also stood up. "I had fun tonight, Dean Winchester."
"Me too. What do you say about meeting again tomorrow night?"
Castiel gave him a simple yes and went back into his room after saying goodnight. Somehow he found enough energy wash the day's dirt away before crawling in between the silky sheets. He didn't have any trouble falling asleep.
In the morning, Cas felt a lot better than he had in a very long time. His body didn't ache, his mind was well rested, and for once when he woke up, Castiel didn't feel like a captive in an elaborate prison.
He was up and ready before Jo even brought Castiel his breakfast. She entered the room and placed the tray on its usual spot on the corner of his desk. Jo leaned against the closet's door frame as she rattled off the news for the day.
"Sam's really sick today, so lessons with Bobby have been canceled. Dean told me he trusts you enough that you can now be unsupervised in the Manor; he's busy with something and probably won't be seen today. Oh, and this was left outside the door." She handed Cas a small book that had been hidden in a pocket of her jacket. "I agreed to help Ash update the security around the Manor, and since Dean's all of a sudden trusts you, I guess you can roam the place a bit. But remember that there are parts of the Manor that are still off limits. No one wants a repeat of the last time."
Cas thanked her for the food and the book before she left. He knew the book had been left by Dean. Castiel was also glad the man trusted him enough to be left alone, even if it was only for a few hours.
Castiel took his time eating. When he was finished, he grabbed the book left to him by Dean and found a place to read. Cas made his way down the hallway and was about to turn towards the staircase when he decided to look at the ballroom again. He expected it to be the same as the last time he saw it, dull and lifeless, but instead someone had drawn back the curtains, opened all the tall windows and was attempting to sweep the floors. Clouds of dust filled the air but eventually the floor started to shine. Castiel left when another person joined the first and started washing all of the windows.
Somehow Castiel managed to make his way back to the alcove Sam had lead him to earlier. He stared at the book in his hands for a moment. It was really old. The hard red cover was scratched and faded from being held in its owner's hands, and the spine was cracked from being read many times in the years since its creation. Whether it currently belonged to Dean or someone else, it had obviously been well loved.
He took his time reading the novel, running his fingers over every dog-eared page and stopping at underlined sections of text as he tried to figure out the significance to the reader. Castiel let the quiet of the empty hallway and warmth from the sun-heated glass lull him into a peaceful comfort as he dove deeper and deeper into the story of a young man who set off in a quest to find his true love with only the stars to guide him and offer companionship. It was the more detailed version of the story Dean told Cas the night before. The one Mary apparently read to him at night. He was surprised that Dean had shared something so personal with someone who was practically still a stranger.
Castiel finished the book in the late afternoon, just as his stomach started to grumble in hunger. He attempted to find the kitchen hoping Ellen would have something for him to snack on that wouldn't interfere with dinner.
An old woman stopped him and requested his help in replace a painting on the wall. He showed her his still hurt wrist and apologized that he couldn't offer assistance. They parted ways when she went to find someone to help her.
Ellen sent Castiel off to his room with a few pastries to tide him over until dinner was brought to his room. Cas spent the rest of the night waiting to meet again with Dean on the balcony.
"Did you like the book?"
Cas looked up to see Dean leaning towards him against the railings.
"Yes. It was very enjoyable."
Dean smiled. "It was one of my favorites growing up."
"I could tell."
That night they had a conversation about literature. Castiel confessed his taste leaned towards a more academic nature; Dean laughed and told him that could easily be fixed and promised to have a stack of book outside his door by the morning.
Then they gradually got into the topic of living in the busy Capital compared to the slower way of life of the countryside. Both agreed that they didn't like the city.
"I wonder if we've ever met before, back in the Capital."
"It could have been a possibility. We would have been very young." replied Castiel.
Dean looked as if he was searching through all the thoughts in his mind for something. "Yeah, maybe."
The late night meetings continued for a few more nights.
They got to know each other as Dean and Castiel, not the sons of General Novak and Commander Winchester.
Cas liked it better this way, because to him, Dean was starting to resemble the boy in the painting with bright eyes and soft smile, and not the hard-hearted and angry person he was first introduced as being.
A few nights into their routine, Dean tired demeanor changed when he suddenly shot up straight like he had been shocked.
"Meet me in the gardens tomorrow morning."
Cas looked at Dean strangely. "Why?"
"You've mentioned them a few times already, and they look much better up close than they do from up here. Besides, I know you have to hate feeling cooped up inside from the stories you've told me. I can show parts of the Manor you haven't seen yet."
"I have been getting tired of staring at the walls all day."
"Is that a yes? Because if it is, I might also get Rufus at the stables to let us go out for a ride in the afternoon."
"And I do miss my horse." Castiel hadn't seen Grace since she was found and brought back to the Manor's stables. "Where do I need to meet you?"
Dean jumped up and pointed to a fountain below their feet.
"There's a door right by the kitchens," he said. "You can't miss it."
"I'll be there when the sun rises."
Dean smiled brightly, one of few that Dean had showed Castiel while they carried out their late night rendezvous. He thanked Cas and hurried inside to go to his own room for the night.
Castiel thought about Dean's evolving behavior and how it had changed in the past week. The sudden invitation to the gardens certainly did not help the puzzle that former Dean Winchester.
There was something there that wasn't there before, and Castiel didn't know what it was.
He stood on his balcony a few minutes after the other man went inside, staring up at the stars like they did the first night. A chilly breeze forced Cas inside and into bed for the night.