MC: Hey guys! MinecraftPwnz here! Oh my Celestia, has it been this long since I updated?! Into The Woods is actually out! I apologize, everybrony! I will try to update faster, but holidays and school might be a stretch. XC
Button: Dude, you took, like, FOREVER.
MC: WELL AT LEAST I SAID SORRY!
Raritella sat on the floor, happily bidding goodbye to the birds, who had expertly sigted the lentils from the ashes into the pot.
"Fly birds," she sang,
"Back to the sky
Back to the eaves
And the leaves,
And the fields,
And the-"
"Hurry up and do my hair, Raritella! Are you really wearing that?" Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon rushed in, Raritella fussing with Diamond's hair.
Silver Spoon displayed a tear in her dress sleeve and looked in disgust at the state of Raritella's hair. "Here I found a little tear, Raritella! Can't you hide it with a hat?"
"You look beautiful." Raritella complimented flatly.
"I know." Diamond smirked.
"She means ME." Silver growled.
"Put it in a twist." Diamond ordered.
"Who will be there?" Silver chatted with her snooty sister as Button rolled his eyes.
Raritella began to twist Diamond Tiara's hair and sing, accenting the beat with a twist of hair.
"Mother said be good,
Father said be nice.
That was always their advice
So be
NICE, Raritella
GOOD, Raritella
NICE, GOOD, GOOD NICE."
"Tighter!" screeched Diamond as Raritella continued singing.
"What's the good of being good
If everyone is blind
Always leaving you behind?
Never MIND, Raritella
KIND Raritella
NICE, GOOD, GOOD, KIND, GOOD, NICE-!"
Raritella cried out as a pink hoof struck her across the face.
"Not that tight!" Diamond barked.
"Sorry!" Raritella rubbed the now very visible hoofprint on her cheek.
"Clod." muttered Diamond.
"Hee hee hee-" Silver chuckled, but paused when Diamond sent a nasty glare her way.
"Hee hee." she finished halfheartedly.
Now the attention was on Button once more. "Because Trenderhoof here had lost his mother and father in a baking accident-well, at least that is what he believed despite the fact that his parents could have eaten their way out-he was eager to have a family of his own, and concerned that all efforts until now had failed. Eww, that's kind of gross, once you think about it..."
Trend and Applejack stopped as a knock on the door was heard.
"Who might that be?" he wondered aloud.
"We have sold our last loaf of bread," Applejack continued kneading dough.
Trend froze in terror and galloped in front of his wife nervously. "It's the witch from next door!"
The couple gasped as a slender mare with cobweb like blue hair, holey legs, bug-like wings and green slitted eyes trotted in casually, as if she wasn't a witch, but a regular pony buying food.
AN: Yes, I have cast Chrysalis as the witch. She is regular pony height now, however. Candy cane measurement decreased!
Applejack and Trend whimpered in unison, "We have no bread."
"Of course you have no bread!" The witch rolled her eyes. "Filly with the cape took it all."
"What do you wish?" Trend asked.
The witch facehoofed. "It's not what I wish, it's what you wish!" Then she grinned and pointed her long black staff's green gem at Applejack's stomach. "Nothing cooking in there now, is there?"
"The old and extremely ugly enchantress went on to tell that she had placed a spell on their house." Button commented.
"What spell?" Trend stared at the witch, perplexed.
The witch began her story.
"In the past, when you were no more than a foal, your father brought his young wife and you to this cottage. They were a handsome couple... But not handsome neighbors!
"You see, your mother was with child and had developed an unusual appetite. She took one look at my beautiful garden," She gestured out the window, where a lush vegetated field awaited, "And told your father what she wanted more than anything in the world was
Greens, greens and nothing but greens;
Parsley, peppers, cabbages and celery
Asparagus and watercress
And fiddleferns and lettuce!
He said, 'All right',
But it wasn't, quite.
'Cause I caught him in the autumn
In my garden one night!
He was robbing me!
Raping me!
Rooting through my rutebaga
Raiding my arugula
Rushing through the rampion
My champion! My favorite!
And I should have laid a spell on him right there!
Could have turned him into stone
Or a dog
Or a chair
Or the twenty one vine!"
Applejack slapped a hoof over Trend's mouth to keer him from screaming, "TWENTY ONE!"
The witch continued.
"But I let him have the rampion;
I'd lots to spare.
In return, however,
I said, 'Fair is fair
You can let me have the pony that your wife will bear!
And we'll call it square.'"
"I had a brother!" gasped Trend.
"NO!" The witch growled, making the couple jump. Then she let out a sickening smile. "But you had a sister."
"But the jerky, old witch refused to tell him any more of his sister." Button shook his head. "Not even that her name was Futpun- Fluttbutt-FLUTTERPUNZEL! Flutterpunzel! These darn names, so long!"
The witch gained a crestfallen look.
"I thought I had been more than reasonable," she began, "And that we all might live happily ever after. But how was I to know what your father had also hid in his pocket?! You see, when I had inherited that garden, my mother had warned me I would be punished if I were ever to lose any of the
Beans!"
"Beans?" the couple asked.
"The special beans!" The witch was getting worked up.
"I let him go
I didn't know
He'd stolen my beans!
I was watching him crawl
Back over the wall!
And the bang!
Crash!
And the lightning flash!
And-well that's another story,
Never mind-
Anyway, at last the big day came
And I made my claim.
'Oh don't take away the baby!'
They shrieked and screeched,
But I did,
And I hid her where she'll never be reached.
And your father cried,
And you mother died
When for extra measure- I admit it was a pleasure- I said, "sorry, I'm still not mollified." And I laid a little spell on them-
You too, son-"
Trend gasped as the witch aimed her staff at him and a sharp pain entered his unmentionables.
"That your family tree
Would always be
A barren one!"
Trend and AJ gasped in horror as the witch levitated into the air, shrieking with laughter.
She finally calmed down and finished her story.
"So
There's
No more fuss
And there's no more scenes
And my garden thrives!
(You should see my nectarines)
But I'm telling you the same
I tell Kings and Queens
Don't ever never ever
Mess around with my greens!
Especially the beans!"
The witch aimed her staff at the two bakers and everything stopped.
"Now listen to me, Montgomery." Pinkemena frowned at her son babying Milky White dejectedly. "Lead Milky White to market and fetch the best price you can. Take no less than five pounds. Are you listening?"
"Yes." Montgomery dryly grumbled.
"How much are you to ask?"
"No more than five pounds."
Pinkie pinched his ear hard.
"LESS! Than five!" He shouted.
Pinks let go of his ear and motioned for him to get ready to depart sadly. She shook her head in despair and sang to herself.
"Jack, Jack, Jack.
Head in a sack
The house is getting colder
This is not a time for dreaming.
"Chimney-stack
Starting to crack
The mice are getting bolder,
The floor's gone slack.
Your mother's getting older
Your father's not back
And you can't just sit here dreaming cheesey dreams!
"To wish and to wait
From day to day
Will never keep
Timberwolves away.
"So Into The Woods
The time is now
We have to live
I don't care how.
Into The Woods
To sell the cow
You must begin the journey.
Straight through the woods
And don't delay
We have to face
The marketplace.
Into The Woods to journey's end..."
Jack stared down in depression.
"Into the woods to sell a friend..."
"Oh, Monty, someday you'll have a real pet."
"A piggy?!" Montgomery grinned.
Pinkemena rolled her eyes and pushed Milky White and Montomery out the door.
"Welp, that was a good potty break," Button trotted into view.
"So anyways... Meanwhile the witch, for purposes of her own, explained how Trend and Applejack might lift the spell."
"You wish to have the curse reversed? I'll need a certain potion first." The witch explained to them.
"Go to the wood and bring me back
One-The cow as white as milk
Two-The cape as red as blood
Three-The hair as pink as tulips
Four- The slipper as pure as gold".
"Bring me these
Before the chime
Of midnight
In three days time."
"And you shall have, I guarantee
A child as perfect as child can be."
Applejack and Trend hugged each other with joy.
Then the witch ruined the moment.
"Go to the wood!" She disappeared after casting a short spell on Trenderhoof's groin. The two doubled over in pain.
"Ladies," Fleur de Lis smiled as a fanfare was heard. "Our carriage awaits."
Raritella ran up to Fleur and showed her the full pot of lentils.
"Now may I go to the festival?" she pleaded.
"The festival?!" Fleur flipped her hair.
"Darling, those hooves!"
Darling, those clothes!
Lentils are on thing but
Darling, with those,
You'd make us the fools of the festival,
And mortify the Prince!"
Raritella stared in disbelief as her father, an off white pony with dark brown hair and a mustache walked in.
"The carraige is waiting." Magnum said in a posh voice.
"We must be gone." Fleur, Diamond and Silver exited with a flourish.
"Goodnight, Father." Raritella hopefully looked at Magnum, who merely replied with a grunt and left.
"I wish..." The ivory pony fell to her knees, silently weeping.
Trenderhoof walked back into the main bakery room with a brown leather jacket, grasping six small objects with his purple aura of magic.
"Look what I found in Father's hunting jacket!" Applejack trotted over and her eyes dilated in response.
"Six beans..."
"I wonder if they are the-"
"Witch's beans? We'll take them with us."
"No," Trend stopped her. "You are not coming."
"Ah know ya are fearful of tha woods at night." frowned Applejack.
"The spell is on my house!" Trend argued.
"Only I can lift the spell;
The spell is on my house!"
Applejack huffed, overlapping his voice with her own.
"No, tha spell is on our house!
We must lift tha spell together,
Tha spell is on OUR house!"
"No. You are not to come and that is final. Now, what am I to return with?"
"Ya don't remember?" AJ facehoofed in annoyance.
"Tha cow as white as milk,
Tha cape as red as blood,
Tha hair as pink as tulips,
Tha slipper as pure as gold!"
"The cow as white as milk,
The cape as red as blood,
The hair as yellow as corn,
The slipper as pure as gold!" Trend memorized.
"And so, the baker, reluctantly, set off to meet Chrys-The enchantresses' demands. As for Raritella." Button gestured to a depressed Raritella.
"I still wish to go to the festival..." the ivory pony whimpered,
"But how am I ever to get to the festival...?"
"The cow as white as milk,
The cape as red as blood,
The hair as pink as tulips-"
"Tha slipper-" prompted AJ.
"The slipper as pure as gold!" Trend finished.
"I know!" Raritella smiled weakly.
"I'll visit Mother's grave!
The grave at the hazel tree,
And tell her I just want to
Go to the king's festival!"
"The cow, the cape,
The slipper as pure as gold-"
"Tha HAIR!" AJ reminded Trend.
Trend and Raritella began.
"Into The Woods,
It's time to go
It may be all
In vain, I know.
Into The Woods
But even so,
I have to take the journey."
Now AJ joined in.
"Into The Woods
The path is straight
I/Ah know it well,
But who can tell?"
"Into The Woods to lift the spell!" Trend and AJ.
"Into The Woods to visit Mother!" Raritella.
"Into Tha Woods ta fetch the things!" AJ.
"To make the potion!" Trend.
"To go to the festival!" Raritella.
Now Monty and Pinks joined in.
"Into The Woods
Without regret,
The choice is made,
The task is set.
Into The Woods
But not forget
Why you are on the journey."
"Into The Woods
To get my/our wish
I don't care how,
The time is now."
Pinkemena began.
"Into The Woods to sell the cow."
"Into The Woods to get the money." Montgomery Jack led Milky White into the woods(AN: Oh, the irony!).
"Into Tha Woods ta lift tha spell!" Applejack waved goodbye.
"To make the potion!" Trend waved back and headed off.
"To go to the festival!" Raritella departed.
"Into Tha Woods ta Granny Smith's house!" Red skipped across the path.
"Into Tha Woods ta Granny Smith's house!"
Everyone began singing in unison.
"The way is clear!
The light is good!
I have no fear;
Nor no one should.
The woods are just trees!
The trees are just wood!
No need to be afraid, there-"
"There's something in the glade there..." Raritella and Trend peered at the glade.
"Into The Woods
Without delay,
But careful not
To lose the way.
Into The Woods,
Who knows what may
Be lurking on the journey?"
"Into The Woods
To get the thing
That makes it worth
The journeying.
Into The Woods-"
"To see the King!" interrupted Fleur de Lis, Diamond Tiara, and Silver Spoon.
"To sell the cow!" Montgomery Jack and Pinkemena sang.
"To make the potion-" blurted Applejack and Trenderhoof.
"To see,
To sell,
To get,
To bring,
To make,
To lift,
To go to the festival!"
"Into The Woods!
Into The Woods!
Into The Woods
Then out of the woods..."
...
"And home before dark!"
MC: Whew! I am SO glad I found the script on the web! Makes this a lot easier, haha. I hope you enjoy this, because it took FOREVERRRRR and my fingers hurt REALLY BAD. Again, I apologize for the late update!
Button: Sorry doesn't do anything, MC.
MC: Would you like it if I killed you, Button?
Button: IT'S OKAY! I FORGIVE YOU! NO HARM DONE!