The first of the Avengers gathered in the lounge outside of their rooms. Needless to say, it was completely trashed. The massive flat screen was still on and showing a cheesy rom-com and had a tomato slowly sliding down it. Wrappers, boxes, and other remains of practically every kind of take-out known to man littered the room while graffiti in red, black, and white spray paint depicting many small, unfamiliar logos screamed for attention from the walls. Deadpool was here, proclaimed the wall above the couch in black and red, pointing at a spot on the couch below with a red arrow. Various hanging photos and memorabilia had been 'redecorated' in sharpie in a very childish manner- with monocles, eyepatches, hats, facial hair, and so on drawn on the glass. As for the floor, it was covered in enough odd stains to qualify as an imitation of a Jackson Pollock painting. And the smell was being taken care of by Steve Rogers and Clint Barton, who were cleaning off the couches and spraying Febreeze.
"Thank God- he didn't touch the bar!" exclaimed Tony. With a whoop, he plopped on a newly cleared spot on the couch. The two paused their work on the mess. "Nice to see you too, Stark." murmured Steve, who continued cleaning off the couches, putting the trash in one of two bags he was carrying. Hawkeye shrugged. "A thank you would have sufficed. By the way, we finished picking up all of the bottles. Nobody can say no to a bar fully stocked by Tony Stark."
Tony scowled and walked over to the bar, which was likewise stained and covered in leftovers. He spotted a note where the beer would have been. He picked it up and read it. "Good booze. -DP." He checked the other damages to his alcohol supplies- 5 missing bottles of flavored vodka (Seasonal ones that Pepper had saved for the team, a few drink mixes here and there, and, for some reason, all of the olive and pickle jars. But thankfully Tony's favorite whiskey was spared. He poured a glass of it and sat down with the team, pulling one of his tablets out of the drawer to pull up the security footage for the day they left and the 'exterminator' arrived. Natasha was already on her entire couch (When did she sneak in here?) while the guys piled on the couch in front of the TV. The tomato unceremoniously dropped to the floor.
"Where's Banner?" Tony asked. Natasha sighed, having been told by the other two why he wasn't here. "He was the one that walked in here with Steve, but it was almost Big Green that left the room once he saw what happened. He should be back from outside soon." As if right on cue, Bruce Banner calmly walked in. The rest of the team flinched when they saw that he was surveying the room. But nothing happened- Banner just sat down in one of the armchairs scattered around the room, picking the one next to the main couch. "Good afternoon. Sorry about earlier, this was not what I was expecting to come back to," he said.
"It's alright, Bruce. Fury didn't warn us well enough when we came in," replied Steve, welcoming him with a similarly apologetic smile.
Tony snorted, ready to get the show on the road. "The gang's all here, then. Except for Vision and Little Red Riding Hood. Might as well see what the clown who jacked the place up even did."
"This should be fun," said Barton with a snicker, "I might get some ideas for April Fools. I wonder what I can send by post to an Asgardian prison cell without getting caught."
With that, Tony tapped away on the tablet and rewound the security footage to the day they left the facility, just after noon.
12:04 pm. Day One of Deadpool in the facility. Just outside.
Tony is giving strict instructions and keys to a tall man with a farmer's tan and a handlebar mustache. The exterminator is, rather oddly, wearing beaten jeans and a green windbreaker on a relatively warm day. The man shakes hands with Tony and accepts keys in hands gloved for using chemicals. He makes a few trips between his van and the building, carrying sealed blue tubs labeled for various tools of the trade. When everyone is gone, the man hauls everything into the lounge and sets it down. He then pulls off the green gloves and strips off the clothes.
"You've got to be kidding me. Did he seriously wear nothing in here?" complained Clint. Tony just paused the footage and took a long swig of his drink...
Only to spit it out. "What the hell was that?" Tony sputtered angrily, looking at the bottle. Nothing was wrong with it at first, but he turned it over to look at the ingredients. What he found almost surprised him. Almost. Deadpool had scribbled something over all of it. "One hundred percent pure, unfiltered urine from the finest source on Earth: Deadpool! May or may not make Tony Stark puke." Tony made a disgusted noise and stormed off to his room to go find some mouthwash while the rest of the team stayed silent. When he was almost out of earshot, the remaining Avengers in the room burst out into laughter. Clint was rolling on the floor laughing with tears in his eyes, not even bothering to gracefully recover from the initial fall from the couch. Steve was clutching his stomach and smacking his hand on the armrest so hard that his entire side of the couch was about to collapse. Natasha was gleefully giggling at Stark's misfortune. Banner was just red-faced and chuckling- not even close to looking green. They were beginning to recover and compose themselves for Iron Man's return. But when they heard him scream like an upset Kardashian, they collapsed back into laughter all over again.