disclaimer: This is chapter two. not chapter twelve.
Sari put the microphone thingy close to her mouth and said the following.
"The flight mmmpplebrggppll has been delayed for mmmmmpphlgggrrfff hours. If you are riding this plane, please mmmrpppiinnggffllrrflle. Thank you." Said sari, and she put the microphone down and left the airport.
Inside of the airport, chaos ensued. People had no idea if their flight had been delayed. or for how long. They all swarmed that one guy that always gets swarmed when something goes wrong. They began to ask him questions. But he didn't know the answers. So he killed himself and then founded a small chocolate company in the city of Venice.
Meanwhile at Sari...
Sari was walking to teh biggest bank in Switzerland. When she got there, she saw a whole buttload of armed dudes. They reminded her of Butler, so, naturally, she glomp-ed them.
"GLOMP!!!" she screamed. The armed dude pushed her away from him. Sari squeed.
"IT IS TEH BUTLER!! OHMIGOSH! YOU SHOULD DRESS UP LIKE A TREE! Changing the subject, I'm gonna go find the Gnomes of Zurich." Said Sari as she walked away, unharmed by the armed dude.
However, the armed dude, and, lets just call him Moop shall we? Anyways, Moop suffered incredible emotional trauma for the rest of his life because of the glomp. He visited several psychologists. None of them helped. So he just commited suicide.
Meanwhile at Sari...
Sari hadn't found the Gnomes of Zurich yet. But that was okay. She had gotten better idea. A cooler idea that could--HEY! I can type without looking at the keyboard!! neat!!!
Anyways, Sari had gotten an easier idea. And all it involved was a cell phone, some sunglasses, and a muffin shop. Her original plan was to threaten the Gnomes of Zurich into confessing that Haven exsisted. Then, she would force them to take her there. But now she had an even more ingenious plan...
Sari walked into a muffin shop and whipped out her cell phone. She began to wonder who she should call.
"I know! I'll call Shari!!" exclaimed Sari and she dialed Sharis numbers.
"Hello?" came a familiar voice. I am proud to say that I have never eaten a porcipine in my life.
"Hi Shari! Lets talk about ARTEMIS shall we? Specifically about GNOMES and FAERIES and HAVEN and FOALY and MAGIC and how great COMMANDER ROOT is!" said Sari. Shari squeed.
"FOALY IS BUFF!" she squeeled.
"YEAH! Hey, I have an idea, lets see who can use the most ARTEMIS FOWL related words in one sentance! And don't forget to say the words nice and clear."
"OKAY!!! Hmmmm...Yesterday i went to HAVEN to see FOALY the CENTAUR, whom was annoying the commander of the LEP also known as JULIUS ROOT whom happens to be an ELF!" shari said excitedly.
"Okay. My turn now. I like FAERIES, ELVES, PIXIES, SPRITES, CENTAURS, DWARVES and i must admit that i've never liked GOBLINS, they smell too much like TROLLS and look to much like OPAL KOBOI!"
"yup!"
"oh well, i gotta go now shari.Lets talk about HAVEN and ARTEMIS FOWL later. C'ya!" said Sari, and she hung up. It was only a matter of minutes now.
Meanwhile at Foaly da centaur...
Faoly was eating a goblin. Wait, no he wasn't.
Foaly was ACTUALLY um...oh yeah. Listening to a call that the had picked up from one of the mudmen cellphone thingies. He gapped at what his compy screen said.
Apparatnyl, two mud-girls had used the words artemis fowl, gnomes, faeries, haven, foaly, magic, commander root, centaur, LEP, julius root, elf, elves, pixies, sprites, dwarves, goblins, trolls, and opal koboi in their conversation. They CLEARLY knew something. Foaly grabbed his phone and called up Holly.
"Holly, We've got two mud-girls who know that we exsist. Go get em and give 'em a full mind wipe." he said.
"Yeah whatever." replied Holly.
And so she went up to above ground to investigate the strange phone conversation.
Foaly directed her to the spot where the call was traced to and she flew inside. Unfourtunetly, she didn't know that it was a mudman building.
"BARFSVILLE!" holly yelled and she became sick. she puked. Now, faeries can sheild themselves, but they cannot, however, sheild their barf. Sari saw hollys barf and realized that a faerie had arrived.
"oh yeah. you're allowed in. sorry about that. But while your in here, I can boss you around and you have to listen to me. My first command is that you take me to Haven now. And you are not permitted to trick me. Or mind wipe me. Or eat cheese ever again." Said Sari as she stared right into Hollys eyes so that the command would work. Holly swore.
"And so swearing unless you say the word toast right afterwards." said Sari.
'what do you want mudgirl?" holly spat. Sari grinned.
"Take me to haven."