Notes: I thought that first chapter sucked, but I got some encouraging and awesome reviews! And I got so excited that I couldn't wait until next wednesday! So I'm posting it now! *m* Thanks hwyla (that english tip was awesome!) Pumpkinpie473, Severus Taisho, PiffyEQ (severus will not be a DE) and Hime-chan Natsumi (Hey girl, I speak portuguese and spanish, and currently working on my english and swedish. :)! Thank you all so much for the support! s2

But let's clear some things up before starting this chapter...

~Underage use of magic: As a child living with an adult wizard, using Eileen's wand already gives Severus protection enough against the ministry's trace. When he gets his wand at eleven, if he performs anything with it it'll get detected. But as Severus will be made aware of it when he gets one, he will keep training with his mother's wand over the summer. Parents are supposed to have control over the children, so the ministry can't do much on magical families. Remember that Harry was blamed because dobby used magic in private drive? Magic detection doesn't really know who casts the magic... As I see it, when you are using a wand without trace you can only be detected in one way: when casting magic in muggle location and breaking the secrecy. Example? Again with Harry's case, he's in a muggle house and muggles saw magic being used, thus breaking the secrecy. If he was in a public location ministry aurors would come, but as he was in his home, they immediately assumed it was him who casted the magic.

~Changing Severus's looks: he doesn't have the crooked nose yet, because I'm think he'd have it broken later on when his father abuse would be more bad. About his skin and hair: by having more access to a better hygiene he progressively changes his oily hair and skin problems... When he gets to Hogwarts he'll definitely look like a healthy person... And a cute one. :3 lol

~Who wants cutie severus?

That's what I thought. :D

CHAPTER 2

~o~

Being able to perform one spell and one charm after only one day of studying, makes Severus proud of himself and it helps him to imagine a future where things could be so much better. Even if during dinner that night, he faces the reality of a future in which he has to keep everything to himself… It's sad not being able to say how happy he's feeling for what he has accomplished. However, he knows it's wise to keep it quiet and don't say anything to his parents and provoke a fight between them by doing so.

They are eating chicken soup in total silence when suddenly an argument breaks between Tobias and Eileen about the mailman and their wet correspondence! Severus is baffled by how they are able to turn a single comment in a full fight in less than five seconds... But for the first time, he is glad they are distracted, because he uses their lack of attention to hide the warm diced chicken of his soup in his left hand while he keeps eating with his right. As it starts to feel disgusting holding his chicken in his bare hand, he finishes his soup quickly and runs from the kitchen, going back to his room to cast an Engorgio on the diced pieces of chicken. But this time he doesn't want a giant chicken breast, so he's going to use the trick he did when he cast the charm successfully last time. So instead of visualizing a giant piece of chicken, this time he visualizes them to be just the size of a mouthful, about 3 times they currently are.

Predictably, he helplessly fails the first six tries, thus creating two melon sized chicken breasts and four explosions. By the sixth he has enough chicken to feed a big family! But with the seventh try he finally gets his perfect mouthful sized chicken. He eats the small piece with smugly satisfaction while he gazes the three giant ones. And just like that, knowing that he can accomplish different sizes for his food, it becomes routine for him to always keep something of his meal to Engorgio and eat later, filling to the brim the empty space in his stomach he was used to have after meals.

Unfortunately, because the three days from now is already January 12th (of 1970), when his classes starts again for the new term, he has only three more full days to study magic. So he enjoys his Friday morning reading the section of the Newlyweds' book about specific spells to use on the bathroom. And that's how he finds a four-step method for cleaning a bathtub that gets it completely and sparkly clean: First you conjure a jet of clean water using Aguamenti, boils the water for a long time with Flagration, vanishes the dirty water with Evanesco, and finally cast the Scourgify cleaning charm. But the best part of all this? If he learns the four charms correctly, he can use Aguamenti and a low intensity Flagration to have a good and warm bath before going to school and before going to bed… Or even in the afternoons if his mood strikes!

But back at learning those charms… It's not easy. And if there's one thing he knows now about magic is that nothing comes too easy. You have to practice to be really sure about what are you doing for your magic respond accordingly. So it's not a surprise to him that he struggled to perform correctly the charms. However, the feeling of accomplishment is great when he does the entire cleaning method successfully on Monday morning. And the bath that followed was reward enough for his efforts.

~o~

Being back to school, walking by its corridors or during classes, Severus now could easily endure the children's aversion of his person because now, more than ever, he knows he's better than everyone else. He's unkempt, dirty and poor, but he's a wizard. Therefore he doesn't let himself be affected by their taunting. And the fact that he'll remove the "unkempt and dirty" from his attributes with magic, helps to maintain his confidence...

Since the new term has started, his afternoons and mornings are used to study and do his homework from school, so at night he can be completely devoted to study and practice magic as much as he can before falling asleep. This schedule works, so he obeys it religiously for the months that follows. Alongside with this study routine he makes himself fulfills, he has a new one where he cleans his clothes daily, cleans the bedroom and the bathroom weekly, and sometimes he even cleans other parts of the house. But he doesn't take too much risk by cleaning the living room or the kitchen, only when the opportunity raises he casts lots of Scourgify to try to keep the place in order.

Severus bets his magic that the boys from school would have a field trip with knowing he spends so much time cleaning his house… But no matter how odd it seems, he doesn't feel like a freak for wanting to have his things and house clean. He spent so many years surrounded by dirt and dust that now he can clean it, he does it freely! He doesn't stop with only cleaning the rooms, tough. After that first warm bath, he made a habit of doing it constantly and the result of his long baths is a refreshed and sparkly clean Severus. Feeling clean is a new sensation to Severus, and so good that he uses everything he has learned to keep him feeling fresh like the first time. Surprisingly, two changes happens because of this new routines: the children from school stop sneering at him too much and his own father stops calling him "dirty boy" even if still calls him "useless boy" now and then… After all his father will never change.

His mother, on the other hand, didn't show any reaction to the changes at all. He has always known that she was wasting herself away, letting days pass with nothing of importance happening to distinguish them. But to not even realize the difference in her own house? Her own son? She is the one who had all the amazing books about taking care of things in the first place! He wonder sometimes what truly have happened to his mother, because there's no amount of abuse that can make a witch forgets about magic… Or there's?

Thinking about his mother always leaves him sad, and it's why he avoids to even look at her. He avoids his father too for the matter, spending his days studying in his room or even studying while taking long hot baths. Except for the days that he does absolutely nothing, just enjoying the new quietness that his mind has acquired during the silent months of studying and concentrating in his magic.

School is finished for the term, summer starts... And nothing changes too much except that now he doesn't have to study school. And when the summer ends, taking away the long days of bathing under the sun studying or just lazing, Severus started to feel rather melancholic and with a hole inside his heart. He's like this because during summer, when he was laying on the branch of his favorite tree, far from the other children of the playground, he started to connect with his magic and be immersed in it for hours!

Being immersed and connected if your magic is like swimming in river. In one of those 'sessions', when he was 'swimming' in his magic he tried to expand from his body just for curiosity when he felt It. Gaia, Earth, Terra... Whatever you want to name It. But when he touched It, when his magic touched It, he felt connected with every living thing that surrounded him. It was the warmest, greatest feeling a person could ever feel. He felt peace and love like he never have felt... Connecting with It made him feels like a plant.

He's not kidding at all. Really! But it's not how you are thinking… Feeling like a plant is feeling like nothing else in the words matters, every single cell of his being is just dedicated to feel the life running through itself, bathing in the sun, rooted on Earth.

Loud laugher near him from the children always wakes him up from his trance. He wants to feel rage at them, but after a deep connection with his magic there's nothing on the world that can makes him have bad feelings. He feels too elated and in peace to even considering feeling angry. And it's just too bad that melancholy can still be experienced, because he could go a week without it… But as there's days that his only words are incantations, melancholy and sadness seeps into his mood leaving him feeling like…

Severus is a lonely boy.

Not by choice, mind you. He admits it to himself while he walks back home from the playground, watching other people chatting, laughing, making jokes, story telling… It's a smothering feeling if he lets himself think too much about it. As much as magic fills his heart, there's always a part of it that has never stopped wishing for a caring and loving mother, a protective father, friends to laugh with…

Severus cries sometimes in the bathroom, soaking his tears in the bathtub. Crying until his eyes hurt as much as the hurting he feels inside himself.

He's only ten… It's hard not to cry when you feel there's no one for him in this big world. Laughing alone, playing alone… Walking, joking, crying, eating… He lives alone surrounded by people.

It's just too hard sometimes to fight... He's only ten.

But he always keeps fighting, as he had heard some time ago: "You only need to keep fighting."

And fight he does.

~o~

Severus laughs watching his cat Lord Sneaky being confused, looking around himself trying find where the plush mouse went. It's mean to do it, but it doesn't matter how many times he has done it, Lord Sneaky can never see the moment when Severus Accio the mouse to himself and throws it in another direction for the cat to hunt it again. Thus, leaving the car baffled every single time Severus does it.

Lord Sneaky mewls angrily before going to hunt the mouse for the third time. Severus laughs again.

For those who were not there when Lord Sneaky was rescued and brought to the Snape household, it suffices to say the story is just "too complicated" to explain... Not that he doesn't want to tell where or when he came across the poor starved kitten. The problem is if you ask why he was there in the first place, that's how it gets complicated. The story cut short is that Lord Sneaky was found sleeping beside a dumpster in an alley… When Severus was stealing a cake.

If there's one thing that he's not proud of is stealing. He knows it's wrong, he knows he shouldn't do it just because he can and can get away with it… But you can't conjure food, as it's one of the five Principal Exceptions to the Gamp's Law of Elemental Transfiguration. Food can be multiplied, enlarged or it can be summoned if one knows the approximate location… But you can't make it out of thin air. For a hungry kid without food at home and who knows how to cast an Accio with his mother's wand, is just too easy to fail in resisting the temptation! And in Severus defense, it took seven months of going without food for some periods of time (even with him storing Engorgio'd food) before he stole for the first time some veggies in a stand for himself and his parents.

The second time, though, there wasn't the excuse of not having food, but rather to avoid going without it. He just stole again, and again until he was stealing fruit and veggies once a week, doing it just like his routine to clean his room. But until then, he had only stole fruits and veggies, never superfluous food to himself, because they are the only food he risks bringing home and counting on his parents not paying real attention to where they have come from. Both mother and father always take turns to buy these kinds of food from time to time… Making it easy for Severus to bring home some without suspicion.

On a hot Saturday morning of July, Severus went for a walk. No homework to distract him at home, or food to eat, he decided it was a good time to try to find some food to bring home. Which he found pretty easily and in only one hour and five stands later, he had in his pocket shrunken versions of potatoes, onions, carrots, cabbage, bell peppers and apples! Happy with his finds, he walks back home without rush, just enjoying the weather and the busy life of people surrounding him… He was only some streets from home when he scented the sweet smell of cakes and sweet pastries of an open windowed bakery with beautiful, delicate cakes and colorful sweets.

Seeing the vulnerable cakes and sweets made Severus almost ache. He wanted to eat something of that display... He tried to keep walking, to don't have ideas, walk away... Walk away... But he just couldn't resist hiding himself in an alley nearby, waiting for the right moment to cast a Reducio on a chocolate cake and immediately summoning it to himself.

The tiny cake was beautiful and as small as it was, he still could smell the sweetness that he was eager to taste. Cautious with the little cake in his hand, he was standing up to leave the alley when he heard a pitiful mewl from somewhere near him.

Since that moment, he has find in Lord Sneaky the friend he never had. Nurturing the kitten to a healthy condition was easy with his magic's help, but it only made the process faster, because giving a good portion of food everyday and some showers did all the magic. Turning a meek and shy kitten into a full active and sweet cat, who loved giving cuddles to Severus as much as Severus loved cuddling with him.

Unfortunately, stealing did not stop with only food. Severus did not have and couldn't make a excuse this time, knowing perfectly what he was doing. Does it matter that he was really needing new clothes that could actually leave him warm inside it? Winter is coming and heating charms casted on his threadbare clothes only last two hours in a lucky day before fading. Thus his only option to not die with frostbitten is stealing... But no, he does not need people calling him a disgusting criminal because he already know that he is and has felt like one the moment he stepped inside the department store of Cokeworth Co-operative Society with a Notice-Me-Not charm on himself.

After looking around the boy's section for a long time he finally decided to take a comfortable pair of black lace boots, a black cloth coat, a white button-down shirt, six shirts: two white, two dark green, two black, three sweaters: one gray, one red, one caramel tan, black socks, white underwears and two black cotton trousers.

The list is quite big, but he was "giving" himself his Christmas and birthday presents that he could make last for years and years... Because seriously, even toilet paper he was saving and cleaning his own butt with magic so there's one less thing his father has to spend money on instead of food!Severus is through being upset about his father spending his money on pubs and gambling, never saving money to buy something new to the house or the family. And don't let him start talking about his mother… Almost a full year has passed and nothing has changed! All this time she never suspected of her wand being missing or that her son was using magic everyday! Never once asking how her own son was feeling or doing!

Okay, going back at not thinking about my parents...

Arriving home after hours of walk, Severus went straight to his room not minding the violent discussion happening in the living room. Giving some treats to Sneaky that he had collected, he went to the bathroom to draw a herbal bath. The mix of Calendula (for soothing the skin), Lemon Balm (stimulating and refreshing) and Rosemary (for cleansing) makes the perfect bath for him. As he doesn't have money to spend on soap, he had spend some days searching for a solution in his mother's books, when he encountered a book about herbs being used for everyday purposes… Liking the idea about using them to bath, he spent lots of days searching for herbs, but after he found this mix he had never changed.

And talking about personal hygiene… Severus kind of read the book Beautifying Charms for a Young Witch by Iggy Gergilin. But it was necessary! Like the toilet paper, he didn't want his father spending money when he did have the solution using magic! The book has useful cleaning methods to every part of a person's body! He could now wash and condition his hair, brush his teeth and trim his nails in simple movements with his hand! Who doesn't want that?! It makes life so much easier when you have to wake up early to go to school…

As for school, he has a plan to save money by not needing to buy his grade books for this term. After receiving the list of books in the first of classes, he did not deliver it to his mother or his father. Instead he came home saying that he would receive them for free, because there's a program in school that gives free books for the students who had the highest scores in the previous year. The reality is that he would wait until the books became available in the library, and one by one he would cast the Gemino charm and get a free copy to himself!

Yes, Severus is clever. Thank you for the compliment.

Oh, and one thing worth mention about his fall classes starting is the fact that no one recognized him when they first saw him! But when they did, they just didn't bother paying attention to him anymore… As he actually looks completely different than the last term, even if he was already much better than the previous years. But now that he had new clothes, was sparkly clean and left his hair grow to just past his neck, it didn't give a chance to people easily recognize him! Or have something to bully him about and start a fight... Not that he would enter a fight with muggles anymore, because along his new appearance, he has become a much more calm person and to show how much better he's than those simpleton and ordinary people, he does not bait on any one taunts when provoked. He speaks mildly politely to everyone and just disappears between the crowd.

If you are too ugly or too beautiful, too polite or too disrespectful you'll stand out. And standing out to Severus was never a good thing, so he just do what is expected of a poor kid, not being worth mention, and just being there... It makes things easy when people easily ignore and forget about you, going home to enjoy a good cuddle session with Sneaky and practice magic without conflicts and drama. Making life and attending school a much more pleasant experience.

~o~

On the Christmas Eve of that year, Severus could be found reading the book Organizing Your Mind While You Meditate by Julius Valerius in his room with Sneaky on his lap, petting the thick fluffy white fur until he started to purr happily. Sometimes, when Severus became too engrossed in the book and forgot to keep petting, Sneaky would immediately protest, making Severus lose concentration on the book and start to pet him again. He had just calmed Sneaky down, when someone knocked on his bedroom's door. Before he could ask who knocked, he recognized his mother's voice.

"Severus," Eileen called before announcing. "I'm opening your door."

As she said, she soon opened the door. But just a little and didn't even enter the room, just stood on the threshold looking at him.

"Mother?" Severus questioned curiously. "Do you need something?"

"No, nothing…" Eileen said with a quiet voice, sounding like she was nervous. "I was just wondering if you would like to come with me to watch a street choir singing some Christmas carols… There's one performing near and I don't if you would want to watch… They are just on next street. Do you want to come with me?"

Severus was shocked. The last time she spoke this much with him was months ago when summer started! Schooling his expression to not appear so shocked, he blinked slowly, looking at his mother as if he was thinking about what she asked. He was actually thinking about it… Damn. He wants to go out with his mother.

"Yes, mother, I would like to come… Are we leaving now?" Severus asked while he subtly lifted Sneaky from his lap. The cat is with a notice-me-not charm and it would be suspicious if Eileen couldn't look at whatever Severus was carrying in his hands.

"Yes, we are," Eileen replied with a small smile on her face. "I'll get my coat while you get something warmer to wear, is that good? I'll see you downstairs in a bit."

"Ok," Severus answered and gave her a short nod. Seeming satisfied, his mother left the room, closing the door softly. Severus quickly went to change his old clothes for his new ones, dressing in his caramel tan sweater and the black trousers, quickly lacing his boots and grabbing his coat, he soon was joining his mother downstairs and rushing to leave the house.

"Severus," Eileen called after less than few minutes after leaving the house. As Severus looked at his mother expectantly, she continued to talk. "I have being keeping it quiet for a while, but I can't help but notice that all the cloths you wear you leave the house looks new…"

Severus blood turned into ice as he listened his mother talking. Yes, he knew that his conversation would come. But he wasn't that good in straight telling lies, so Merlin help him. Because he'll need.

"Yes, mother. Haven't I told you? I thought I already had… Before the end of classes in May, the school received a charity bazaar for the poorer students like me, to get us prepared for the fall and winter classes." Severus said without a hitch, as he was talking about the weather… Or telling the truth as he should be.

"I didn't hear about that, Severus…" Eileen said with a frown.

"The charity wasn't promoted by the others parents or anything like that… It was an organized by the city co-operative society. They brought the clothes to school... Don't you remember that I have received free books also? It was from the same organization that promoted the bazaar." Severus said dismissing his mother worry. "I was one of the first students to try the clothes, and as I'm the smallest I got a lot of more clothes than the other boys because they are a lot bigger than me…" He said with a pleased voice, but still acted as if he was embarrassed over the fact he was the smallest.

Well, he really doesn't like the fact he is the smallest of his group. But even with all the food he has been eating lately he still haven't grown or fattened, so he just accepted that he's fated to be small.

"Oh, well… I still don't remember you talking to me about this." Eileen said still frowning a little, as if still thinking something to say. But before she could say something more, they arrived to the street choir presentation and joined the small crowd of people listing the performance.

The choir was good. They were really good and Severus couldn't even try do deny this and say he didn't enjoy. His mother looked at him and smiled watching him enthusiastically applause the singers. "They were really good!" Severus said to defend himself.

"They really were." Eileen agreed, loudly applauding the choir too.

"Say… Do want to buy some cocoa?" She asked as they left the crowd to walk back home. "We could make some hot chocolate tomorrow."

Okay, something is definitely wrong with her. Severus thought to himself. "Yes, it would be great, mother." He replied showing surprise and excitement. The last time he ate chocolate was months ago, that very chocolate cake he was stealing when he found Sneaky.

They bought some cocoa and butter cookies before returning home, drinking a hot cup of tea and milk to help themselves feel less cold. Severus could go to his room, where the temperature is always good, but he humored his mother and stayed with her chatting a little before finally going back to his room. When he arrived there, Sneaky gave him the cold shoulder probably for leaving him alone… Until Severus bribed him with a huge piece of salami he sneaked from the kitchen and Engorgio'd for him. Sneaky came back to his lap for the rest of the day until night when Severus went downstairs to have diner. As Christmas Eve dinner were always more especial, they ate slow-roasted marinated pork shoulder and a delicious Alfredo sauce pasta… The best his mother could do, but good nonetheless. Father wasn't too drunk, but he still went early with mother to their room, leaving Severus alone in the kitchen. Having the opportunity, he cut some of the leftover meat and sneaked it to his room to Engorgio and eat it next day...

The next day came and as Eileen promised, Severus and his her drunk hot chocolate with cookies while listening to a Christmas special of a radio novela. It was too cheesy for Severus tastes, but it made his mother laugh, so he was happy to listen to it. They spend the day mostly in the living room listening to the radio while his father napped or listened to radio with them. Dinner was the leftover of yesterday, but as he already had his fill waiting for him in his room, he faked not being hungry so his parents could eat everything. When he left, he almost went to hug his mother, feeling emotional for the time she had actually spent paying attention to him… But decided against and flew from kitchen as quickly as he could.

Soooo... Still good? Complains? Thoughts? What do you think about Severus' relationship with his parents? I'll gladly reply on next chapter.

Oh, do you guys prefer chapters around this size, smaller or bigger? My update range is usually 3k ~ 7k... This chapter was actually 7k, but I gave it a trim and decided to ask you guys about it... But should I keep close to 3k? I love big chapters, but there are people who doesn't, so you guys let me know your preferences! :)

Till next week?

Love y'all!