The Greatest Adventures of Hatake Kakashi!

R. Winters

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. If I did, I wouldn't have to think of little witty comments for my disclaimers.

Thanks for the kind reviews, I appreciate hearing from you guys!

One quick note because I know you're all probably going to point this out to me... There is a character in this chapter named Sakura... with absolutely no relation or similar appearence to Haruno Sakura. That is to say... it's another horrible coinsidence on my part... Because I wasn't even thinking of H. Sakura at the time and I didn't feel like changing it later. It's a common name. At least, in my fandom it is.

Chapter 2

Hatake Kakashi Saves the Day! (Almost)

Kakashi stalked up to his teacher with all the purpose of a six-year-old boy and threw what he carried at the man with enough force to make Minato grunt a little as he caught it. The six-year-old's pout was in full force and his dark eyes were clouded with anger.

"I told you, sensei," he huffed with irritation, "I don't need a stupid toy."

Minato held up the stuffed dog that had been thrown at him and smiled, "Aw, but he's so cute, Kakashi! And you're supposed to call me Tousan, remember?"

"I don't like toys, Tousan," Kakashi ground out, "And I don't want him."

"Did you decide what to call him?" Minato asked, looking the puppy in its glassy, brown eyes, "Maybe… Spot."

Kakashi scowled, "I'm not carrying that thing around, se… Tousan." He stated firmly.

"You really seemed to like him at the store," Minato commented innocently.

"I don't like stuffed dogs, Tousan," Kakashi reiterated firmly.

"Oh, come on," Minato said, "Didn't you have any stuffed animals when you were younger? It'll add to your chibi-factor, you might need it since your smile's hopeless."

Kakashi's scowl deepened, "I don't want it."

"Why not?" Minato asked.

"I just don't," Kakashi insisted. He hadn't played with toys in years.

"If you can't even think of a reason, then you should take him," Minato insisted again, "Trust me, you two look cute together."

The six-year-old shot him a furious look and violently snatched the toy from the man's hand as he held it out. Minato smirked and shook his head in bemusement after the boy as he stormed from the room. Even Kakashi, he thought, had to have had a toy sometime in his life. With a shrug, the man reluctantly stood to get ready for the day.

Kakashi stared awkwardly at the other children who had all gone about doing their own activities after he'd been introduced. In Grass Country, civilians went to school starting around age six—Minato had decided to say he was five, and he was small enough for this little lie to pass.

To the boy's disgust, his teacher had been right, the stuff dog did add to his chibi-factor. It grated on his nerves every time some woman told him what a cute little boy he was in an irritating, high-pitched coo. Idly, he wondered what would happen if he clued them in on the fact that he knew well over a hundred ways to kill a person.

"What would you like to do, Kakashi-chan?" The boy looked up at the voice to find the woman he'd been entrusted to standing over him, looking sympathetic. "Do you see anything you would like to try?"

Bewildered, Kakashi shrugged. He knew he was supposed to act like a normal little kid, and he figured that probably meant he would have to do whatever the other children were doing, but he wasn't quite sure what to say or do. He'd never really had to deal with other children. Not since his time in the Academy, at least, and even then he'd been left pretty much to his own devices.

"Should we go see what the others are doing?" The woman suggested in a friendly manner, "Maybe you would like to join some of them."

Kakashi shrugged again and trailed after her as she led him over to a group of children playing with a ball. Idly, the six-year-old noted that at least this activity increased hand-eye coordination and strength. It wasn't as effective as kunai practice, but it wasn't as pointless as some of the other activities, at least.

"Would you like to play ball?" The woman offered.

Kakashi glanced around at the other groups of children. Some played with small figures, others were getting themselves filthy in a pit of sand. Some were chasing each other around mindlessly and some were trying to form some sort of make-believe game—at least Kakashi assumed that's what the little girl directing her peers around with a shrill voice was attempting. He nodded, whatever game they were playing with the ball, it would likely be much preferable to those other activities.

Minato idly swung his legs from his tree branch, well aware that he should be concentrating more on keeping an eye on his student. But he was nineteen and there was only so long he could stay still and watch a group of four and five-year-olds playing silly little games.

He had reached that limit several days ago and was about ready to die from boredom—he wondered if that was a legitimate excuse to get him on the Hero's Stone, at least. He stared absently up at the tree-top, wondering how long they would have to keep this routine up. He sincerely hoped that it wouldn't be much longer.

He glanced down at the playground, eyes scanning the children, but there was nothing unusual. As there hadn't been for the last four days. Kakashi had apparently given up dealing with the other children as he was sitting off to the side by himself, idly playing with his stuffed dog in a tedious effort to keep up the image of a normal—if maladjusted—five-year-old boy. Still, he looked a little more listless than usual. Minato couldn't blame him, being bored stiff himself.

The trees were different in Grass Country than they were in Fire Nation, Minato noted absently, looking up at the tree branches again. They were generally smaller with less branches, and altogether sickly looking. At least, they were sickly compared to the vibrant green of the trees in Konoha. But Grass wasn't known for its trees. It was known for the green leaves of waste-high grass Minato would have to be careful wading back out through. Then he'd spend all night trying to get rid of the various bugs that would have climbed out from the grass and onto him.

He glanced back across at the playground, eyes scanning all the children. Of course there was nothing unusual. There hadn't been anything unusual for the last four days. Kakashi was…

Minato's thoughts ground to a halt and he stiffened in his tree, scanning the clearing again. He scoured the area the boy had been sitting, but he didn't see any sign of him. Even the stuffed dog was gone. Cursing to himself, Minato jumped down from the tree and hurried through the grass, then went the long way around to the playground where he attempted to make himself look as calm as possible.

"Sakura-san," he called out as he approached.

The woman, primary caregiver to the children under her watch, looked up at him with a surprised smile from where she was helping a little girl fix a toy cat, "Oh! Uzumaki-san, you're here early!"

Minato smiled and nodded in return, trying not to scan the clearing too obviously, "Yes, well, I've been worried about Kakashi. He doesn't really open up to other children very easily. I thought we'd spend the afternoon together."

Sakura grinned, "That's a good idea, he has been having a bit of a hard time fitting in. But I'm sure he'll grow comfortable soon enough. He's right over—" she stopped, frowning, and looked around only to not find the small, white-haired boy in the last place she'd left him.

Her smile became a bit strained as she looked at Minato again, "Anô… Uzumaki-san, just hold on a minute. I'm sure there's nothing to worry about, I'll just ask the others where he is…"

Minato smiled and nodded, watching her go off to talk with her assistants while trying not to panic. Kakashi probably just got bored and wandered off. He was six-years-old, after all, even a six-year-old Chuunin couldn't be on his best behavior all of the time.

Except that Kakashi was.

Kakashi would never disobey orders, even for a second. Minato didn't wait around, already knowing. The plan had worked, in part. Kakashi had enticed the abductor to strike again. Whoever this guy was, he was good, to have overpowered a Chuunin without even making enough noise to alert those around him. It had even gone unnoticed by him, a Jounin.

Cursing under his breath, Minato began thinking furiously.

Kakashi fought to remain asleep. In the dark of his unconscious mind it was comfortable. Whereas the reality worming its way into his mind was not so much.

He wasn't sure, exactly, why it shouldn't be comfortable, and slowly began dredging up memories. He'd been in Kusanagai with his sensei. Playing as a civilian boy in some kind of… communal day care. He'd been sitting with his dog and…

Kakashi frowned, brow wrinkling in concentration. He couldn't remember his sensei picking him up or going back to the apartment. It was almost like he'd fallen asleep right in the middle of the park. Only, he hadn't been tired. And whatever he was laying on, it wasn't soft like the grass.

And it stank. And he could hear noises. The young Chuunin dragged himself regretfully from his sleep and opened his eyes.

It was dank, there was little light, and the smell of mold and the odor of humanity was stronger than ever. He couldn't see much besides a stone floor and his own arm when he woke, and he quickly shifted into a sitting position.

The noises suddenly silenced and he found himself staring at several young children and being stared at in return. That's when he knew.

"I've been kidnapped," Kakashi stated in shock. He couldn't remember anyone grabbing him. He didn't recall being knocked unconscious and his head didn't hurt enough for a physical blow.

Some kind of drugs, maybe…

A girl, perhaps his own age, cautiously stepped forward. She sniffed and asked bravely, "Are… are you alright…?"

Kakashi nodded, he wasn't hurt as far as he could tell. Slowly, he got to his feet—the others shuffled warily away from him, except for the girl.

"Where are we?" Kakashi asked her, "Do you know what they want with us?"

The girl shook her head, "None of us know…" She sniffed again, "We just… wake up here and they just... leave us..."

"The bad-guys comes and gives us food, sometimes," a small boy with mousy brown hair and large, gray eyes supplied.

"How long have you been here?" Kakashi asked with concern, "What do they want with a bunch of kids?"

"We don't know, idiot," a black haired boy snapped tensely, Kakashi could tell from the strain in his voice that he was reacting in fear to the situation rather than a dislike of him.

Kakashi nodded shortly. So they didn't know what these guys were doing with the kids. Probably not just killing them, they would have done that right away. So, using them for something—but what, Kakashi couldn't imagine. What could a bunch of civilian five-year-olds do?

He felt for his weapons and slowly smirked. Whoever they were obviously didn't expect a five-year-old to be armed and all his weapons were still where he'd left them. That would take care of the mission, then.

He crossed to the door. They were in what looked like a regular cell. Iron bars made up the first wall, the other three were stone. A wire mesh had been fixed over the bottom half of the bars, the holes too small for little heads, arms, or hands to fit through. Obviously, they'd learned from problems in the beginning.

But none of that mattered to a resourceful young Chuunin like Kakashi.

"Someone come give me a boost," he directed as he crossed to the door.

"For what?" The black haired boy asked, watching him suspiciously, "You can't get out through the bars, we've tried."

Kakashi slid a long, slender needle from his shirt sleeve and twirled it around in his fingers—it glistened in the dim light. "You don't need to go out through the bars if you can open the door," he stated coolly, "Now someone give me a boost so I can reach the lock."

The children moved closer to him, excitement and hope in their whispered voices and eager smiles. The black haired boy wore a guarded expression, "You can really open that door?"

"If I can reach the lock," Kakashi said pointedly.

The boy smiled a little, relief replacing his nervousness, and he quickly moved next to the door and got onto his hands and knees, "Here, climb on my back."

As the others watched anxiously, Kakashi stepped carefully onto the other boy's back and stuck his arms out through the bars—he was just tall enough to reach above the mesh with this boost. He felt for the lock and expertly stuck the end of the senbon into it.

It was an old lock, they obviously weren't in the most secure facility, and Kakashi worked it open quickly. He stepped off the other boy again when he heard the release snap, then paused to look at the other children as the boy picked himself up to his feet.

"You need to stay very quiet," he directed seriously, "And stay close to me. If anything happens, I'll protect you."

"… Who are you?" The girl from before asked, her eyes wide.

Kakashi smirked a little. "I'm Hatake Kakashi," he answered, "Konoha's genius ninja."

There were awed exclamations immediately as Kakashi pushed the door open and led the way out.

"You're really a ninja?" The mousy haired boy asked, mouth as round as his eyes.

"I'm a Chuunin," Kakashi confirmed, "A middle-rank ninja. Now, remember, be as quiet as you can."

"A-anô…" A boy that couldn't have been much older than three, with pale, curly hair, started awkwardly, stepping forward with wide eyes.

Kakashi paused, looking down at him warily.

The boy awkwardly held out the small, brown and white stuffed dog he was carrying, "Anô… Here's… here's your puppy back… Kakashi-niisan…" The little boy looked down, face flushed.

The six-year-old felt a smile threatening to break on his lips, like he hadn't felt in what seemed to him a long time. He shook his head, "I'm going to need both my hands right now. Why don't you carry him for me for a little while longer, okay?"

The younger boy smiled and hugged the stuffed toy to himself again, muttering, "Okay, Oniisan," into the puppy's fur.

"Alright, ready to go?" Kakashi asked, looking around again.

There were nods all around from the party of five children, making an even half-dozen with Kakashi added in, and Kakashi led the way out of the cell.

He didn't have any idea where he was going, of course, but the other children were sure that he knew exactly where he was going and he didn't feel the need to correct them. He led the way down a hall and up old, stone steps that looked well used.

They made an awful lot of noise, Kakashi thought, as their feet scuffed the stairs and the youngest one, a girl who could barely pass for four, stumbled occasionally, but they made it to the door without incident.

Kakashi tried the handle and wasn't particularly surprised to find it locked. There was no keyhole and he didn't want to risk the use of one of his only two explosion tags so early. He frowned in thought.

Stepping away from the door slightly, Kakashi gave the wood a solid kick. It wavered but remained intact. Frowning deeper in concentration, Kakashi focused on his chakra and tried again. This time the wood splintered under his chakra enhanced assault with a loud bang. Ignoring the exclamations of surprise and delighted wonder behind him, Kakashi expanded his senses and snuck into the hall, glancing around warily in case his opponents were skilled at masking their chakra signature.

Seeing no one, he motioned the other children to fall in behind him—and hissed at them to be quiet again. He followed his instincts, taking turns and leading the way up another two levels. Once they had been forced to double back and find a room to hid in, but otherwise it seemed to be going well.

The simple fact that they hadn't run into opposition yet made Kakashi nervous. And being forced to hush the others twice more didn't help his nerves—they seemed to think that if there hadn't been trouble yet there wouldn't be any. But Kakashi knew. Whoever it was that had kidnapped him had to be better than this.

The third floor up from their cells was the first from which they saw daylight. Windows looked out at deep shafts in the ground, letting only a little light and fresh air down into the underground rooms. Kakashi hesitated, looking at the windows, before deciding it would be best to get outside as soon as possible. With the black haired boy's help, he forced the window open just far enough that they could climb through.

The bottom of the shaft was muddy, but no one complained. The mousy haired boy even grinned, squishing his shoes around in the mud a little. Kakashi couldn't help but smirk. If it had been adult civilians he was rescuing there would have been a general outcry when they were forced to trudge through mud.

The wall of the building was deteriorated and weakened from the moisture and Kakashi pulled a kunai from where he'd strapped it on his left thigh, under his pants. Taking advantage of the weakened stone, he used the kunai to chisel a small handhold into the surface of the wall. Then he made another, as high as he could reach and, belatedly, carved in a foothold about half that height. With one foot in his last hole and gripping the upper hold tightly with one hand, Kakashi carved another hole then took another step up, shifting the kunai to his other hand.

He continued this until he reached the top, then stopped to look around. It looked like a manor of sorts, he decided, ducking down as a guard walked past. Some twenty meters from the building wall stood the massive stone wall—a fence, probably—not dissimilar to the one surrounding Konoha—although Konoha's was primarily built from wood. There were guards there, too, but their attention was focused outwards, not inwards, for now.

He climbed out of the hole and motioned for the others to follow. They had a little more difficulty than him, but with the older girl helping the younger and the small, pale-haired boy clinging to the black-haired boy's pant leg as he climbed, they made it.

Kakashi had been busy formulating a plan as the others climbed, and now that they were all huddled around him he turned his attention back to them. He'd never tried to explain plans to children younger than himself. The closest thing he could think of was the few times in the Academy when he'd been called upon by his classmates to lead them in some scheme, but even then it had been different.

"I'm going to distract the guards," he whispered to the others, hoping he was making things simple enough for them to understand, "You five stay here. I'll blow a hole in that wall over there," he pointed to it, just in case, "That's when I want you guys to run as fast as you can, out the hole."

"What about you?" The older of the two girls asked with concern, "Won't the bad guys get you, then?"

Kakashi smirked, "I'm a ninja, remember? I'll be fine. And I'll catch up with you guys later." He paused a moment and added, "Don't stop for anyone… Unless it's a man with crazy bright yellow hair and a stupid grin. He's my sensei and will help you guys out… Just tell him Kakashi sent you."

"Does he have hair like this, Oniisan?" The mousy-haired boy asked, messing up his hair so it stuck out terribly. Some of the others giggled nervously and Kakashi nodded.

"Hai. Something like that. And it's bright yellow."

"Like… like a flower?" The younger girl asked, flushing shyly.

Kakashi nodded again and asked, "Do you all remember what to do?"

The Chuunin cringed as all the kids tried to tell him at once and he quickly motioned them to silence. "Okay, okay, one more time. You wait right here until you see the hole in the fence. Then you run really fast until you meet the flower man. Got it?"

There were a few giggles and nods and Kakashi pulled out his explosion tags and his second kunai—which had been strapped to his other thigh. He wrapped the tags around the base of the kunai as he spoke, "I'm going to explode part of the wall to make the hole," he explained, "Have any of you seen fireworks? It's like that…" He looked at the fence with a keen, measuring glance, "It will probably take two explosions, so wait quietly until you see the second."

When he'd received a few murmured confirmations from the other children he raced out of hiding, practically a moving blur as he approached the fence. He got as close as he dared before he chucked the first kunai at the wall and veered away from it as guards suddenly swarmed over the partially destroyed wall and ran towards him. He ran away from the half formed hole and the guards followed. When he was as far as he could get without missing his target range, he threw the second kunai, taking care to make it look like he was aiming for one of the chasing guards.

It exploded when it struck the weakened portion of the wall, and this time a large section of it completely collapsed to rubble, forming a large hole at the base of the fence. The six-year-old immediately turned his attention back to the more pressing problem of dodging the few shuriken that the guards threw with some accuracy. In the same movement as his dodge, he swept up a few of the shuriken for himself as they ricocheted off of the pavement, then sent them back at the guards with much grater accuracy than they had managed.

He didn't have time to watch them hit as he was forced to duck under a sword slash and turn his attention to the three men with katana that had cut him off from ahead. He rolled out of the way of a vertical strike and used one of his senbon to block the third man's sword that came down before he could pick himself up.

The needle gave a momentary defense before it cracked, holding off the blade for long enough that he was able to get out of the way. He pulled out his second senbon from his sleeve and jumped away, stabbing a fourth guard—who had just gotten near enough to attack—in the neck and pulling it out again as he sank lifelessly to the ground.

Kakashi jumped out of the way of another volley of shuriken—one of the swordsmen shouted at the guards who threw them, but Kakashi didn't pay the yell any attention as he only barely avoided the sword swing that followed. He threw his senbon at the second swordsman, but the man only flinched, slightly distracted but relatively uninjured from the imprecise throw. Still, the third katana grazed his side before he could get out of the way, and the next he didn't have a chance of evading and he caught it in his hands instead, the blade cutting into his palms.

Still holding the blade, Kakashi kicked the man in the groin—not caring if he was fighting fair anymore—then, when the man doubled over in pain, he kicked him again to send him stumbling into his fellows. Kakashi was about to run when pain suddenly flared at the back of his neck.

He had barely a second for confusion to take over his mind before everything went black.