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Chapter 2: Holes
No we've got holes in our hearts, we've got holes in our lives. We've got holes, we've got holes but we carry on. - Passenger
"Excuse me Ma'am", Steve started, " I don't want to pry but do you need a ride home?" He didn't ask her if she was okay because she obviously wasn't. To his surprise, Hill turned around and gave him a small, tight smile. "Do I look so drunk already?", she asked, not sounding particularly offended. "No you don't", the Captain assured her right away, "but judging by the bottles, you still shouldn't drive." He gestured to the alcohol next to her. "And you think sitting on a motorbike is any safer?" For a moment, Steve wondered why she kept track with his means of transport, but dismissed the thought straight away. The woman was just very observant. "Luckily I am not here on my bike today", he retorted, smiling at his boss. She just shrugged her shoulders. "Well then, I gladly accept the offer. Even though, to my defence, May drank most of the booze."
Before they made their way to the car, she gave the tombstone one last look. Hundreds of emotions were flickering over her face until finally one single tear rolled over her cheek. She didn't rub it off. However, her expression turned back to calm and collected, even though she seemed to be slightly swaying.. Together, they walked over the silent graveyard and passed through the gate. The woman gave Steve a questioning look when they stopped in front of an old-fashioned little blue car. "Well, yeah, Stark thought it was fitting to get an old man a olditmer", he retorted to her unanswered question, blushing slightly.
On the way back, both were quiet, lost in their thoughts. Maria only rose her voice to give him directions on where to go. They struck him as as bit odd until he realised they weren't going back to a S.H.I.E.L.D. facility he knew of. Instead, they ended up in Brooklyn, stopping in front of a 5 story building. Maria turned towards him. "You are surprised I am actually living in Brooklyn?", she asked, sounding s bit curious. Actually he was, but until now he had never thought about Maria Hill's personal life either. The woman just seemed to be so woven into S.H.I.E.L.D. as if one couldn't remove her from her place. That was exactly what he told her, somehow happy about the sad smile she gave him. "Alright, thank you Captain", she uttered while getting out of the car. Her look dared him to ask her if she needed assistance, so Steve decided it was cleverer to stay silent. " That's alright Lieutenant. I will see you on Monday", he simply answered. The soldier watched while she vanished behind the door, a few moments later he saw light being turned on in the top floor, even though it was far too early . Why was he not surprised that a woman like her liked being on top? In the top floor, he meant, anything else wasn't exactly his business. It occurrd to him for the first time that she didn't know a thing about her, only the few things he had picked up before and during the New York attack. Did she have family? Was she married? He just hoped she wouldn't be alone this night, not after burying a friend.
Stopping in front of his own apartment, he wanted to get out, when suddenly his phone slipped out of his pocket and under his seat. Cursing quietly, he bend down to pick it up. The Captain nearly hit his head on the steering wheel when something under the passenger seat caught his attention. He walked around the car and opened the door. On the floor lay a black iPhone that definitely didn't belong to him. It must be Hill's, there was no doubt about that, and she definitely needed it back. Who knew what information was on it? He was just debating whether to phone her or not, when he realised he didn't have her home number after all. Sure, he could go and call Natasha and ask for it, or he could just drive by and drop the phone off. That would be a lot easier. Steve scolded himself, who was he kidding, he also wanted to make sure she was alright. So he quickly locked the car and got changed, then basically jumped on his motor bike and drove back the way he had come.
As soon as he parked outside, something fluttered in his chest, a mixture between excitement and concern. He took a deep breath and made his way to the door. There were name plates next to the door bells but none of them had "Hill" written on it. "She must be married", was his first thought until he remembered that the woman was an agent who very likely didn't want to tell the world where she was living. Steve read the little brass plates again until one caught his attention. "M. Collin." The war had taught him some French and if he remembered correctly "colline" meant "hill" in that language. Anyway, it was his best shot, so he rang the bell.
"Yes?", a voice answered through the microphone. It was definitely the Lieutenant's, Steve was sure of that. "Uhm, it's Captain Rogers Ma'am. You left your phone in the car and I thought you might want it back. I can bring it upstairs if you' d like", he offered. "Thank you Captain, I will let you in". He heard the mechanism click and pushed open the heavy door. While he was making his way upstairs, he wondered if her voice had sounded odd or if he was imagining things. When he came to the 5th floor, he saw her standing in the doorway. It took all his effort not to stare, because she looked just so different. But dann, good different, that was certain. Baggy trackpants matched a black top that clung to her body and showed quite a bit of her cleverage. She must have just taken a shower because her hair was still wet. Smiling politely, he handed her the phone. "Thank you Rogers, I really appreciate this", Maria said, sounding less professional and more human than he was used to. If he wasn't mistaken she also sounded a bit tipsy, she seemed to have had a few more drinks in the time she was at home. Had she drunk under the shower or what? The Captain pushed away those really inappropriate thoughts.
"Do you want to come in? Have a drink?", his boss asked him. This was definitely not what a sober Hill would do! She would probably be angry and mortified the next day, he really should go. Later, Steve would never be able to tell why he came in, why he stayed. Maybe it was the sad, empty look in Maria's eyes. Maybe he was just tired of being alone. Or maybe, just maybe, it was because of that woman that was standing in font of him. Interesting. Intriguing. Special.