Alright, so you know the plan?
"Hn."
Good. Then let's get started. First, let me loan you some of my Narrator powers of omniscience; it'll make things easier on us both.
Woah. This feels... quite odd. Is it alright that I can't see my hands?
Ehh... probably.
Are you sure? I feel kind of... spacey, and spread out... and tingly...
It's nothing to worry about. Just try to focus on the task at hand.
Right... So... how do we make this happen?
We're going to immerse ourselves into the Naruto-ve... I mean, the place-from-whence-you-came, in order to directly influence the situation we're creating. Our voices will have to be muffled so we don't freak anyone out. though.
Muffled?
(Like this. Only you and I can hear ourselves now.)
(Ah. I see. Proceed.)
(Remember, don't over-gratuitously use your powers, just stick to the plan. Also, keep in mind that you're omniscient now: you will hear and see strange things, and time-continuity and common sense are sometimes absent. Ready?)
(I suppose... let's get this going then.)
(Alright, let's take the plunge!)
~o0o~
Birds were chirping, children were laughing in the background, puppies were playing with kittens and a mysterious wind blew mysterious flower petals across the screen during the brief aerial shot of the entire hidden village. Uzumaki Naruto was, as usual, making his merry way down the happy streets of Konoha towards his favorite ramen stand, thinking cheerful thoughts.
Gee, I hope Kakashi-sensei will show me that new jutsu later, I bet it's awesome! Maybe I can even impress Sakura-chan with it...
He let his thoughts trail off pleasantly, grinning his foxy grin.
(Ugh, dear God, is this kind of syrupy nonsense going to be described often? I know I have a sweet tooth and all, but this is a little much... )
(Oh, only when appropriate. Besides, it's not so bad: )
Naruto, now skipping with glee, nearly missed the 5000-ryo note laying on the ground.
Gasp! That's a lot of money! I wish I could keep it, but alas, it does not belong to me! I will find its rightful owner immediately!
(I think I might be sick... *gags*)
(Ehh, yeah, maybe it is a wee bit thick. Sorry, I didn't know you were so fluff-intolerant. I'll try to tone it down a bit.)
(...ew....)
(What?)
(Let's just say I learned that bagels are only good the first time around. Also, i'm going to need a change of cloak.)
(...ew... well, we'll have to worry about that later. Just hurry up so we can get out of here.)
(I'm on it...)
Having donated the money to the little old lady who ran the local rabbit orphanage, Naruto was well on his way to Ichiraku when a black-nailed hand shot out of the unusually dark alley he was passing.
"C'mere, you.." the voice belonging to the hand said as it grabbed him by the collar and pulled him into the dark. And poor Naruto didn't even have time to 'bunshin before he was gone.
~o0o~
"RAPE!!!" Naruto screamed to the air. He blinked. Gone were the bustling streets of Konoha, replaced by sandy beaches, palm trees, and quiet. Perplexingly, he was now standing alone on what appeared to be an island, surrounded by ocean as far as he could see. He scratched his head, his sharp shinobi mind assessing his current situation.
His stomach grumbled.
"Ehh, i'm hungry..." he shrugged as he sauntered off, in search of food.
~o0o~
Haruno Sakura, done showering, was just toweling herself dry when she heard a knock at her bedroom door.
"Just a sec, mom!" Thinking that it was indeed only her mother (who else would it be?), Sakura proceeded to open her door in only her bathrobe.
"What did you-" She blinked and her room was gone.
~o0o~
She blinked again and saw the ocean.
"...need?" She started trembling as she pulled her light pink cotton robe tight against her, realizing that she now had no idea where she was or how she got there.
This was not happening. This was not happening. This was just an illusion, right? Just some weird Genjutse she had been pulled into...
"Kai!" She shouted as she clapped her hands together in a seal, trying to dispel the illusion. But apparently, that only made it worse.
"Sakura-chan!" She flinched slightly at that oh-so-recognizable voice, squeezing her eyes shut and focusing her chakra.
Not happening. Not happening. Not happening.
"When did you get here? Are you stuck here too!?" She could hear him moving closer...
-
"Phew! I sure am glad I found you! I was beginning to think I was alone on this island..." Her eyes snapped open and she glared at him.
Stranded. On an island. In her bathrobe. With Naruto...
"Hey, um, Sakura-chan..." he trailed off, blushing as his eyes made a quick sweep of her body.
She snapped.
"...why," he began, but he was cut off as she grabbed him by his shoulders and shook.
"NO, NO, NO, NO, AND NO!!! THIS IS NOT HAPPENING, THIS IS ALL A FAKE, IT'S NOT REAL! THIS WHOLE PLACE IS AN ILLUSION- YOU'RE AN ILLUSION!!!" She stopped throttling him and started to pace nervously in the sand.
"...um... so i'm-this," he waved his hands around, "is all an illusion? Really... huh. Well, I don't think i'm an illusion..." He was pretty sure anyway, but he was a little worried that it might be true. How was he supposed toknow if he were an illusion or not? Either way, he'd just feel normal, right? This kind of thinking made his head hurt. A lot. So, he stopped worrying about it and went back to his food.
Sakura paused at his statement: it did sound like something he would say... but if he was an illusion, that's just what he'd want her to think, isn't it? Haha! Couldn't fool her! She smiled at her own cunning.
So, then: if she couldn't break the genjutsu herself, then she didn't have many options. Only one, really. She'd just have to wait until someone found her and helped her out of it... so was her body still in her room then? Her practically naked body? Prone and exposed to whoever had thrown her into this nightmare? She groaned and rubbed her temples as she tried not to imagine what could be happening to her at this very moment, or where they could have taken her...
"Um... Sakura-chan... are you okay? You're acting a little funny..." she sighed as she turned to look at his worried frown.
Really, she supposed, as far as nightmarish genjutsu scenarios went, it could have been a lot worse. At least she wasn't suffering or anything...yet. And she wasn't alone... even if this friend was a fake. She smiled slightly and nodded.
He returned her slight smile with a beaming grin as he thrust a coconut towards her. "Hungry?"
She was still a little wary, but what the heck? She took it from him. "Thanks."
So there they sat, both a little shaken and perplexed, eating possibly illusionary coconuts on a beach that may or may not be real. It was a little weird, definitely surreal, but also kind of relaxing. Until he had to ruin it by opening his mouth.
"So... Sakura-chan..." he started shifting closer to her, face slightly reddened. "...if this is all an illusion... then maybe we could-"
CONK!
He scooted away quickly, nursing the growing knot on his skull.
She sighed again. Gods, I hope someone finds me soon...