Note: This following chapter is from Adalind's POV. I will switch between Nick and Adalind with each chapter. I want to get into the heads as their relationship develops.
Please enjoy.
Chapter 2
Nature versus nurture, which force was stronger between the two? That was the question plaguing Adalind Schade that morning as she stood in front of the full-length mirror, her chin up, back straight or as straight as she could manage under the circumstances while examining every contour of her naked body, particularly her full belly. This baby was a cause of consternation to her after the crappy life she has lived her whole life. She didn't plan him and most certainly didn't plan the night he was conceived eight months ago but she loved him with every fibre of her being, rotten as it was.
This baby now growing peacefully inside of her was a second chance she didn't dare dream to have after she lost Diana. Her beautiful baby girl was just six months old when she died. Adalind wanted nothing more than to join her but life was simply too cruel, so she lived instead. At the time she discovered her first pregnancy, she remembered her mother's words so many years ago, cruel words.
"The Talk" she had with her about what "a horrible mistake" Adalind was. Of course Adalind was too young to understand why "Mommy" was saying all those hurtful things to her. She loved both her parents, they were perfect but according to Catherine, Adalind wasn't, that's why no one loved her. It wasn't difficult to discover the truth herself. Not long after "The Talk", her father vanished from their lives the day before her fourth birthday. How she cried and cried on the day she was to be celebrated. It was nothing more than a sour reminder of Catherine Schade's bottomless wisdom. Adalind was unlovable and now she was expected to love this baby, a girl.
For nine months, she carried Diana and wishing for anything but. She was penniless, all alone in Austria and too much of a coward to have an abortion and Diana's father was the last person she'd ever turn to after her own experience with her parents. Plus they had a falling out before learning of her pregnancy. Adalind didn't want to be anything like her mother, who was too proud to even cry after her departed father. Only one time did Adalind witness her mother wipe away a single tear before tearing up the last remaining evidence of the man that used to be her husband and father to their one and only daughter.
Nature versus nurture? She scorned at the cruel irony of it all. Adalind had become her mother. It didn't matter which was stronger, nature or nurture; both had yielded the same results. Adalind had unwittingly rejected her daughter before she was even born only to fall in love with her the second she was. She was the most beautiful thing she'd ever seen in her whole entire life and Adalind Schade had birthed her.
Her whole life, every moment of every day, every month and year, Adalind pushed herself, always seeking. Being home schooled made her even more desperate, looking outside for something she couldn't find within. It was no wonder fate took Diana away from her. She didn't deserve anything so beautiful. Her need to love and be loved charted most of her life and interactions with the two most important people in it, her mother and Sean Renard. No matter what she did for them, it was never god enough.
Adalind went to law school, joined a prestigious law firm that represented the infamous Renard family. This should have impressed Catherine but it only earned her mother's ire. That's when she met the black sheep of the Renard family, police Captain Sean Renard, a kindred. Adalind was drawn to him like a moth to a flame and predictably, she got burnt badly.
He showed her a little interest outside of their professional liaison, taking her on a couple of dates after she helped Berman on a sensitive case for his family. Adalind tried to play her cards close to the chest, acting all coy towards Sean, testing the waters but the pull towards him was too strong. Before long, Adalind was already naming their grandbabies; he was so handsome, so dark, so wonderful or so she thought.
Sean showered her with expensive gifts, trips overseas and once he even took her to his ancestral home in Vienna, Austria. Upon their return she found Catherine squatting in her apartment. She'd finally caught wind of the importance of the connection between her daughter and the Renard family. Apparently, she'd been there for days, waiting to see her "wonderful" daughter after so long. The last time they spoke face to face was on her graduation day, which Catherine didn't even attend.
She should have expected it. "Mommy" was back in her life fulltime; taking Adalind back to those early years after her father abandoned her. Catherine started coaching Adalind on how she was to act in order to win Sean's heart and become Mrs Sean Renard. Adalind was disgusted by the ideas her mother put into her head. She wanted Sean all on her own and was doing fine without anyone's help, but now her mother had made it her life's mission to make it all happen. The dichotomy was glaring. She loved Sean but not on her mother's terms. She hated her mother but she was still trying to impress her nonetheless, even after the abuse she suffered being raised by the woman.
That wasn't the only change in Adalind's life. Berman, her boss, started giving her even more peculiar cases, nothing like what she handled before or on her own at the firm. Her dates with Sean turned into meetings about those very cases. She didn't get mad, in fact she relished it. Sean was paying her even greater attention and she got to use her big brain more frequently, bending the law to her…his will and there was the added bonus of a rekindled relationship with her mother, despite their many differences.
However, there was one request from her boyfriend…no, boyfriend didn't sound quite right and it seemed too juvenile to define her relationship with Sean. As it so happened, there was an issue that was a cause of unrest for Sean; a private investigator that was causing quite a few problems for his family, him in particular. Since Adalind had dabbled more regularly with the criminal underworld as per request and an extension of her services at Berman Rautbort Law, he couldn't think of anyone better to help sort this little problem for him.
This investigator had to be silenced before she could expose certain dealings surrounding Sean and specific criminal activities he partook in the city of Portland while serving as a police Captain, something his father wouldn't tolerate being exposed. Adalind had to take care of everything, using her experience in dealing with criminals. Sean didn't care how she did it, as long as it was done.
She bought an unlicensed .38 calibre handgun in a dark alley. Her whole body shook the entire time she dealt with Donnie "Two Step" Parelta. Her heart beat so fast and so loud, it lodged itself in her ears, screaming "GO HOME! GO HOME!" Adalind thought of turning back and going home. She'd tell Sean she was too much of a coward to go through with his plan but she'd come this far and didn't want to see the look of disappointment on his face, a look that she'd become quite familiar with in the time they've been "together". Her own mother told her to grow and pair, "or else…"
On D-Day, she waited until she was the last to leave the office, hoping for something and yet afraid to name it. She called a taxi and gave the address to the driver. Twenty minutes from then, she'd have gone from Adalind Schade, attorney at law to Adalind Schade, murderer. She laughed derisively at the thought. For Sean, she'd do anything, she told herself. It was cold comfort, not much but something.
The investigator stepped out of her run-down building (Adalind recognised her from the photo Sean had given her) and turned left, heading downtown, unwittingly passing her would be assassin. Adalind kept walking straight. She didn't turn to follow after her. The investigator was elderly, although not that old. She looked like she could be someone's very young looking grandmother. Last chance, Adalind thought, "Just keep walking straight and don't look back." She said to herself. But Sean's face crossed her mind, forcing Adalind to turn around and follow after the woman. "The things I do for love," she muttered under her breath.
"Grandma", as Adalind now called her, turned into a café and sat at the last table by the window. There'd be no better time than the present. With a shaking gloved hand, she reached into her Louis Vuitton bag, feeling out the cloth wrapped gun. She crossed the street, scouting for a place to conceal herself while making sure she didn't lose sight of her target. After finding an awkward recess on the side of one building, she fished out the gun and aimed it.
Adalind froze. All she had to do was squeeze the trigger and be done with it but she couldn't move a muscle. She wasn't a killer, it didn't matter how much she loved Sean. She didn't know how long she'd stood there in half-darkness before someone yelled "Freeze, POLICE!" The discovery caused her to jerk violently, causing her muscles in her hand to move on reflex. The next sound she heard was the bang from the gun going off. A shop front window shattered and people screamed in all directions. Chaos ensued.
What had she done? Her head screamed in reproach. Adalind dropped the gun and ran. Unfortunately, she caught sight of the cop that spotted her. She recognised him and he did her. It was Detective Nick Burkhardt from Central Precinct, Sean's Precinct. He was standing all the way across the street, in front of the café. How in the world did he see her? Adalind didn't have time to worry about that, she knew she couldn't outrun him, not in her heals. Nick chased bad guys for a living, and she'd helped some those bad guys stay in the street just two days ago, the same guy that sold her the gun she stupidly dropped for Nick to use as evidence against her before she'd be sent to jail for years on a murder charge.
She saw the look of recognition on his face, pure contempt. He wore that same look when they ran into each other outside of court after Peralta's acquittal. She kept running, expecting him to jump her any second but fortunately, for her, a bus had stopped right in front of him the moment he tried to cross the street and come after her. And by an even greater luck, a taxi had just stopped in front of her, dropping off a customer. Adalind scrambled towards it, throwing herself inside.
"GO! GO! GO!" She commanded the driver, as she lay low in the back seat. She was desperately hoping Nick hadn't seen her climb on to the cab. The driver refused to obey, not before she gave a destination. She cursed him and gave him Sean's address. The man just didn't understand her sense of urgency. She sighed in relief when the car began to move. Adalind didn't dare stick her head higher than the distance it took for her head to rotate while lying flat on her back on a smelly cab seat.
Her life as she knew it was over. She was going to prison. The million thoughts drowned everything around her except the memory of a pair of darkened grey eyes that were hard to forget. She'd never get over them looking straight at her that night. They were dark and deadly. She had to get to Sean, quickly because She couldn't go home and the truth was, this was his fault anyway. He had asked her a big "favour". He would help her. He had to help her. He was Nick's boss after all. Nick answered to him.
"Hey lady, we're here." The driver said. That was unusually quick, she thought. She paid Akbar and thanked him for his services with a weary voice. Stepping outside the cab into an even darker night, she spotted two black German sedans and a black SUV parked along Sean's front yard. Shit. "This day couldn't get any worse than it did," she mused. She scurried toward the front door and rung the bell. Sean's housekeeper, Mrs Shearer promptly answered the door.
"Ms Schade, unfortunately, Mr Renard in unable to receive you tonight; he's entertaining some guests."
"I know, I saw the conspicuous Mercs on the street but this cannot wait. Tell him I need to speak to him urgently!" Adalind pushed her way into Sean's foyer and headed down the hall to his study. There was no way in hell she was going back to her apartment without speaking to Sean first. It wasn't even two minutes before he was standing in front of her, visibly angry.
"I hope this burning need to see me tonight is so you can tell me of your success?" He said coldly.
"Sean…" She couldn't speak.
"Did you or did you not do as I asked?" Adalind ignored the condescension in his voice. Clearly, she came at a wrong time but she didn't exactly have a choice.
"I don't know." She answered, feeling exposed under his glare.
"What does that mean? Did you or did you not kill that wretched woman as I asked you? It's not a difficult question, Adalind. A simple 'yes' or 'no' would suffice."
Instead of soft, sweet placating words, Sean's words and demeanour bristled with checked anger. "I don't know, alright! Nick Burkardt saw me. I don't know if I shot that lady, if I shot anyone at all. I barely escaped him. I need your help Sean. He saw me. I panicked and ran as far as I could or else I'd be a jail cell right now."
"Hmph! At the very least tell me you still have the gun with you."
My 'deer caught in the headlights' look told him "No."
"Damn it Adalind! I sent you to clean up this mess, not cause another one. My family is here for the weekend, I cannot afford to deal with your incompetency…"
"Excuse me?" she shot back. "Perhaps you should have done it yourself, since you're the expert. I've never killed anyone in my life, Sean and tonight, I may have turned myself into a murderer, for you!" How could he be so ungrateful, she thought.
"You're a big girl. I didn't need to twist your arm to do anything you didn't want." Adalind couldn't believe what she was hearing.
"Sean, please…"
"Look, I can't deal with you right now. Go home and we'll talk tomorrow." He dismissed her, effectively kicking her out of his home. She was unable to move, the feeling of dread sunk to the bottom of her stomach. No way in hell, she was going home. Nick Burkhardt and his shiny handcuffs would be waiting for her. Sean left her without so much as a good and one of his security people took his place. It was clear she was on her own, at least for the night. Being escorted out of your boyfriend's house in the middle of the night had to be the worst "walk of shame" of Adalind's life and it had nothing to do with sex. And for the first time, she wished she'd never slept with him, ever.
She made her way to a hotel on the opposite side of her apartment's location. She confessed her failure and everything else to her mother, she wasn't sure why. It's not like Catherine Schade had a shred of maternal instinct in her body.
"Idiot!" she said after listening to Adalind's story.
"For a lawyer, you sure are dumb. You got that from you father, useless like him." After years of steeling herself against her mother's consistently sharp, cutting words, Adalind's heart cracked just a little. Why did she expect any less? Her mother has never supported her in anything outside of winning Sean and this mistake "…would cost them all."
"I don't know why I bother with you, I don't get Sean either. He deserves a strong woman by his side, not this snivelling waif I see in front of me." He mother continued. "I thought I raised you better than this!" It hurt, but Adalind was used to this kind of barrage, twenty-five years' worth of experience, if only she'd stand up for herself, Adalind thought. Never good enough.
It was later that Adalind learnt that the only casualty of her attempt to commit murder was the café window and an old rickety television perched high up on the café wall behind her intended target's head. Although Nick discovered the gun and processed it as evidence of a crime, none of her prints were recovered from it. The serial number was long erased so even the gun couldn't be traced back to her. She paid for it in cash. Never, in her entire life has she breathed a greater sigh of relief than upon discovering she wouldn't go to jail for stupidity.
That didn't mean she was free of Nick Burkhardt. The next time she saw the detective, he cornered her at the precinct.
"I know what you did." He said through gritted teeth. He dragged her into an unoccupied interrogation room and locked the door behind him. Adalind freaked. When she tried to push her way to unlock the door he grabbed her arms and forcefully shoved her against the door, causinh the key to dig into her lower back. She cried out in pain. He didn't care. He had her pinned. She looked into his eyes and any thoughts she had to scream crumbled at her feet. He looked like death personified.
"You tried to kill my aunt!" He roared.
Aunt! Omg! Omg! OMG! The woman she almost killed, was Nick's aunt! Her thoughts scrambled. Shit! Shit! Shit! Alarm bells went off in her head, tuning out his rant, so wrapped up she was in her wild thoughts of dying or to a lesser extent, prison. He was coming for her, she didn't doubt it. He'd never stop until she was behind bars. But three weeks had passed since the incident and all he had managed to do was shove her into darkened room, violently pining her against the door and doing nothing more than make threats of arresting her.
Suddenly her head cleared. They both knew the drill, Nick had zero proof of what happened that night. It was night and Adalind was in shadow, at least until he yelled for her to freeze. Sean already bought an alibi if push came to shove. Even Nick's eyewitness account wouldn't mean much unless someone could corroborate his story and since he had no tangible proof of what she almost did, no judge would ever give him the time of day. Adalind's fear turned into glee while watching the darkness pool at those grey eyes staring daggers at her. Under different circumstances, she wouldn't mind get lost in those intense eyes. The truth was Nick couldn't touch her. Nick couldn't prove she was even there that night with a gun in her hand.
"I'm sorry Officer Burkhardt but you have me confused with someone else. I have no idea what you are talking about." She said, her voice dripping in honey. She flashed him her sweetest smile that only made him angrier. He was cute when he was angry; she saw that even in the dim light. Too bad he wasn't her type.
"Cut the bullshit, Adalind. I saw you with my own two eyes that night."
"Really?" she stepped away from his grasp, ignoring the sliver of pain in her back and in her arms where he dug deep with his fingers making sure she wouldn't escape. "I'm afraid Officer Burkhardt, that you have no proof of that." She purred in his ear as she sidestepped him, taking a seat at the table behind him. She smiled, the adrenalin shooting through her body was making her bold, suddenly. He turned to face her, drawing her back into the bottomless pool of his eyes, gosh those eyes were too beautiful, she thought. She blinked away guiltily, this was no time to window shop, she rebuked herself. As pretty as the detective was to look at and he was, he wasn't Sean.
Nick leaned down on her, blocking he escape once again with his left hand on the back of her chair and the other, on the table in front of her, dark, vengeful eyes boring into her soul. He was so close to her, too close.
"You won't get away with this. I am going to find a way to make you pay." He said. The fear she felt only moments ago was completely gone. Her smile turned into a knowing grin. She leaned forward, challenging Nick. Her eyes went from his down to his thick lips and involuntarily she bit her lower lip, flashing her tongue. She watched as Nick's eye's dropped down to her lips. Suddenly the air crackled with delicious tension she'd never experienced before. Adalind drank it all in, like some heady brandy warming its way down to her toes. It tasted like heaven. Neither of them moved a muscle, so caught up in their little game of cat and mouse dripping with sexual tension. When she looked up once more at Nick's eyes, something shifted between them. There was the slightest flicker of something else, not anger, not murderous rage, but something equally dangerous, neither could mistake it.
"Just know that I will be watching you from now on and unlike your boyfriend, you don't have a family making sure your hands stay clean. You think Sean cares enough for you to risk his own neck? You made a big mistake going after my family, I won't forget this. I will make my move when you least expect it, so sleep tight Ms Schade because your days as a free woman are numbered." He leaned further down, forcing her to sit back. He was excessively close this time; their lips, a hair's breadth from making contact. She imagined how good his lips must taste. He smiled, but his eyes remained as deadly as ever.
"Goodbye Miss Schade." He straightened his back. Turning, he unlocked the door and left, leaving her a little bothered and not at all in a bad way.
Several days after their heated encounter at the precinct, Adalind found out Nick's aunt had passed. Cancer. She didn't know what to feel, relief? No. She felt terrible but any shred of that quickly evaporated as things improved between her and Sean but the reprieve was short lived. Sean didn't make things easier for her. He was less romantic and often lost his temper around her. Adalind hated how things had quickly deteriorated between them, often feeling like Sean's pet rather than girlfriend. Every time she did something he deemed "good" he'd give her a "treat" or punish her when she upset him or failed him in one of his stupid tasks. Why she put up with his horrible treatment, she couldn't tell. He was like a drug she couldn't quit. And like all drug addicted, she lost herself in him, in pleasing him because then he'd shower her with a fraction of the love she felt for him. That high, short as it was, was all she lived for, which is why she agreed to help him with another one of his big "favours", Juliette Silverton.
Apparently, this is what would make things right between them again. She "owed" him for almost ruining the last big "favour" he asked.
"Juliette Silverton?
"Yes, Nick's girlfriend." He said nonchalantly.
That was a gut punch. First, it was Nick's aunt and now his girlfriend.
"I…can't" she protested.
"Come again?" he asked in irritation.
"I cannot do that or have you forgotten what happened last time you sent me after one of Nick's loved ones? I am lucky I got away with it and his poor aunt went unassisted. I'm sorry Sean but you are going to have to find someone else to do your dirty work for you." I argued.
"Do you love me?" He asked.
"Well that's a stupid question."
"Then you will do this or else this…" gesturing between the two of them, "…is over."
Hello, my name is Adalind and I am an addict.
"Idiot!" Adalind said to the reflection in the mirror, using her mother's favourite pet name for her. How different her life would be if she'd only lived it to please herself and not two of the most ungrateful beings she had the misfortune to ever meet. She felt her son kick for the umpteenth time that morning, clearly as nervous as she was to meet his father for the first time.
She didn't know what to expect from Nick Burkhardt. They had the most tumultuous relationship despite conceiving a child together. She hadn't seen him since their last meeting eight months ago. That one night of passion together was a fluke, an accident, a mistake, but Adalind didn't care. Whatever led her to Nick's arms that night gave her a second chance at life, to be a mother, to love and be loved with something much purer than what she'd ever known her whole life. She would do anything for her son and up until two days prior, shed's fallen off the grid as Kelly Kessler, an undercover FBI agent had taught her during their short time together, after escaping Austria.
She'd only known Kelly for a few short months but the kindness of the woman was so overwhelming, it touched Adalind in ways she didn't expect. She met Kelly, after the FBI found her living in squalor in main land Europe. She had no one and Diana was just a few days old. Had Kelly never found her when she did, they would have starved to death in a foreign land surrounded by enemies Adalind couldn't even identify.
When Adalind left Sean, she knew it wouldn't take long before he saw her as a liability. She knew things about him that were dangerous to him and his family and tried to take steps in ensuring her safety. She made contact with the Lehners, offering to sell them intel against the Renards. The two families had being feuding for centuries and no one living on both side actually knew over what.
They didn't bite. They were cautious, obviously. They wanted to check if what she offered was worth their time. That's when she found out about her pregancy. Diana made things extra difficult for her, not only in trying to hide from Sean but also in keeping from being swallowed up in an ancient rivalry between the two families. Adalind soon realised the worth of her life so long as she carried Diana in her belly, making her extra resentful of her predicament. It didn't take long for the truth to come out and find its way to Sean, that is when she ran but she couldn't get far out of Austria.
Adalind found herself in the woods in the middle of nowhere, giving birth to her first child. All the cursing and anger at how awful her life was, the resentment she felt towards her unborn baby evaporated the second the man she'd been staying with placed a swaddled baby girl in her arms. From that moment, Adalind discovered a whole new world, a world of kindness and love, everything she'd ever longed for her whole life but it couldn't last. She had to keep running.
By some chance, the FBI got to her before Sean did. Kelly successfully extracted mother and daughter back into the US under the cover of night, procuring new identities and a new life, away from the Renard's that wanted her dead. Adalind grew very fond of Kelly, the only agent she preferred to deal with. The woman helped Adalind during the most trying time of her life, staying with her the first month in the witness protection program. And even when she didn't, Kelly always remained in contact with them even when she went back to her undercover duties.
She called timeously, and would see them from time to time, being in the witness protection program was a lonely place for Adalind, so she appreciated Kelly's unmerited kindness, after everything that happened to get her to that point. Kelly did more than just keep Adalind company or call to say "hello". She shared with Adalind ways to survive, especially with the Renards after her. She taught Adalind to always be on her guard and things like exit strategies and what to do when the baby wouldn't stop crying and how to identify each cry, whether for food or a nappy change. Adalind couldn't picture her own mother doing any of this, not after the "chore" she was growing up. Kelly told her that if she suspected Sean's found her, she should run and never look back. "Just remember that no matter where you go, I will always find you. If I can find you in the forests of Austria, I will find you anywhere and keep you two safe." She promised Adalind, placing a kiss on both mother and daughter's forehead before disappearing into the night.
Sean did find them. And so did Kelly but even she couldn't do anything to keep Diana safe. The day Diana died, she lost the two most important people she had the pleasure of meeting, her daughter and the woman she quickly considered a mother after she took care of Adalind and her baby as long as she did.
Kelly returning from only God knew where, had woken Adalind from a deep sleep and immediately the smoke in her bedroom choked her. She didn't know when Kelly had returned, let alone where she came from so late at night but she was glad to see her. Unfortunately, her gladness turned to dread as she realised what was happening. Her house was on fire. And where was Diana?
Kelly struggled to get Adalind out of the house, who was already passing out from the smoke inhalation. When she deposited Adalind outside, Kelly rushed back into the blaze, to Adalind's horror. She screamed after Kelly, fearing for her life but thoughts of Diana threated to undo her completely. A lifetime passed before Kelly ran out of the door, choking and coughing desperately for a breath of fresh air. That's when the fire truck turned the corner but that didn't stop Kelly running back into the burning house.
One of the fire fighters found Kelly passed out two feet from the front door. They dragged her out to safety but no Diana. When Adalind was strapped onto the ambulance gurney, Kelly had stopped breathing. The paramedics began CPR, pumping furiously at her chest; that was the last she saw her. She never intended to return to Portland after the death of her daughter. It was the last place on earth she wanted to set foot but Sean and his wretched family left her no choice. They'd taken everything from her, stripped her of her dignity, casting her into a waking hell.
When Sean found out about Diana, he hunted her down like an animal, not that he wasn't before but suddenly she had something he felt she'd stolen from him. And when Diana was caught in the cross hairs, he denied having anything to do with her death, he blamed his brother instead. Whether it was Sean or Eric that set her house aflame, it didn't make much difference to Adalind who the guilty party was. They were all born of the same stock, Sean, more than any Renard had earned her absolute hatred and she would see him rotting beneath her feet, even if it was the last thing she ever did, she swore.
She wasn't hiding anymore. Seeing him for the first time in a year was cathartic. The scales had effectively fallen from her eyes. When she saw him before, he was the personification of a god, her prince, now she saw a pathetic man desperately grasping at the crumbs falling from his father's table, a petty criminal. All the sexy exuberance that attracted her to him had vanished under the cold harsh daylight. And even better, he no longer wielded any power over her, Adalind was free and all it took was the death of her daughter.
Later that evening, she made her way to Joey's for a stiff drink or three, never expecting to meet Nick Burkhardt and those beguiling eyes of his.
Adalind waddled into the precinct, her swollen ankles battling to keep her on her feet. For the first time in a long time, fear gripped her but she kept her head high. She was walking into the lion's den but with a plan. She was formulating her strategy with each step she took. She didn't fear for her life but she did for her unborn baby. Although Sean's men had found her hide out two days ago, she was certain he had no idea of her current state. Walking into his office eight months pregnant will no doubt catch him by surprise. But that's not her goal. He wanted her dead and she needed to give him a reason to pause, which caused her heart to catch in her throat because it meant talking to Nick Burkhardt and telling him the wonderful news she kept hidden for eight solid months.
She has never known two men more driven than those two, one to absolute corruption and the other, to justice. Adalind was banking on Nick's ultimate Dudley-do-right instincts to kick in once she told him about his son. If Sean was hell bent on putting her in an early grave, she hoped Nick would be more than equally bent to make sure than it didn't happen, not with his baby facing a similar fate.
Nick.
She ignored the warmth spreading through her body at the thought of seeing him again. He made her uncharacteristically nervous. Adalind has stared down Sean, his father, hardened criminals but the thought of Nick made her knees weak not for the reason a person would think. She cradled her belly. She wasn't in love with him, far from it. A person cannot love a person they do not know, she thought to herself. She was nervous however, because despite their inebriated night of passion months ago, the animosity between them didn't wane.
She stepped of the elevator on his floor, counting down to a big blowout with the father of her baby. She hoped that it wouldn't be as bad as she expected because not far from Nick's desk was Sean's office and she needed just a few moments to convince Nick he was the father and that he needed to do the right by his son before Sean had a chance to lay eyes on her.
She was taking a big risk coming back to Portland where no one wanted her but she had nowhere else to go and she no longer trusted the FBI to keep her safe, they had failed her Diana and Adalind would be damned if anything happened to her son because the FBI was incompetent (except for Kelly). For years they had Nick do their job for them, too bad he didn't succeed, she thought, briefly forgetting that she was one of the reasons he failed in putting Sean behind bars.
"Damn it," she swore. Nick wasn't at his desk and the Captain was walking straight towards her, visibly surprised.
"Adalind, fancy seeing you here after so long." He feigned warmth in his voice but she knew better.
"Captain Renard, how wonderful it is to see you again." She lied. They kept up with the pleasantries while out in the bullpen. Exposing the reality of the situation between them would not be good for either Sean or Adalind, so fake it they did and they patted each other in an awkward and very brief hug. Sean immediately felt the baby bump. Adalind could see his wheels churning. He knew it wasn't his and suddenly the identity of the father piqued his interest prolonging this unwelcome interlude.
"What brings you by these parts?" He asked, he actually meant, "What idiot stooped so low, stuck his dick in you and knocked you up?"
"I missed Portland, It is home after all." She replied, she actually meant, "None of your business, you child murdering spineless asshole." She smiled at him.
"Will I get to find out who the lucky dad is?" he said, pointing at her belly.
"Oh Sean…" she faked a laugh. "That's for me to know and for you to find out." She was tired and hated having to stand and converse with her former lover. He made her skin crawl.
"I'm actually her on a business matter; I came to speak with Detective Burkhardt?" That certainly caught his attention. She saw the uncertainty in his eyes, not sure if its' in relation to her pregnancy or if it was about his extra curricula activities. Adalind smiled internally. It was good to know that Sean wasn't as bulletproof as he made all of Portland believe.
"Captain, Hank and I finally caught a break on the Red Lotus case. There was a witness…" Adalind heard Nick's voice behind her as he walked towards them. It was now or never but first she needed to get Nick alone without his crooked Captain breathing down her neck. Adalind turned around and her heart rapped furiously against her chest. Nick Burkhardt's Stopped in his tracks, his countenance changed. He was shocked to see her. Adalind wasn't sure what she saw in his eyes, anger? Hatred? She couldn't read him, not like before but that was a long time ago, a life time ago.
"What are you doing here?" He asked stiffly, his voice thick with emotion.
"Nice to see you too Nick," she tried to stand straight, flanked by two men she had sex with and fathers both her children, one dead and another yet to be born. Adalind staggered from their intense staring. Sean acted quickly and grabbed her by the back of her arm, making sure she didn't collapse on the floor. She squirmed out of his reach. Thanking him through gritted teeth.
"Can we talk…in private?" she turned to Nick, ignoring Sean's beady eyes on her and Nick's uncomfortable demeanour.
"Uhmm…You can use for my office for as long as you need. I'm on my way to a meeting with the Commissioner. Burkhardt, I expect a full brief on your progress of the case. The public is getting antsy because of these murders." Sean said, sounding all business and nothing at all like the crooked man she knew him to be. He left the two of them standing there. Adalind was sure, he'd already pieced together the reason she returned to Portland but his poker face was too strong. It didn't matter, she wasn't leaving until she'd at least spoke to Nick. He would figure out the truth someday, it just burnt that he had to get a head start on the piece of info. Nick ushered her into Renard's office and closed the door behind him.
"What is it? What can you possibly have to say to me that I want to hear?" He was angry. She knew it wasn't going to be easy, so she soldiered on and removed the coat from her shoulders, exposing her extended belly. He stepped back, shock written all over his face as if she'd just cut him.
"What is this?" he struggled to find his voice.
"What do you think?" She said angrily. No Adalind, that's not how you do it, she thought. "Nick, I am pregnant," she said very softly.
"I can see that, but what does that have to do with me?"
"Well…everything. Remember that one night at Joey's? You were there with one of your friends celebrating his engagement or something. Don't you remember, because I do. I offered to leave, when I saw you sitting at the bar but no, you stopped me. I was having shitty day after seeing Sean and I was desperate to drown my sorrows. You said I shouldn't go, 'this bar is big enough for the three of us.' And I don't know how but we started talking and drinking, we talked some more and drank some more. I called a cab but you insisted I shouldn't be alone and kissed me. I didn't make this baby on my own Nick."
A dark shadow fell across his face, "Oh how I wish I didn't, trust me." It's not the reaction she was looking for. She wasn't hurt that he wished to forget that night. She knew exactly how he felt, finding out were going to become someone's parent, with the person you hated the most in life. Adalind was all too familiar with that feeling but she knew it would quickly pass. It did for her, when she held Diana in her arms and she was a horrible person, nothing at all like noble and upstanding Nick Burkhardt. What mattered to her was getting Nick over the shock. She gave him a few moments to let it all sink in but nothing more. She didn't mean to steamroll him but she was running out of time. Adalind did her best to quash any thoughts of Renard and focused on the man in front of her, whose beautiful eyes she never forgot.
"Adalind…" he said softly.
"Congratulations Nick, you are going to be a father." The baby kicked leading her to suddenly take his hand and place it above her stomach. And as if on cue, the baby kicked again, much harder than before, making both his father and mother exclaim in wonder and joy, respectively.
"Why now?" he asked suddenly.
"I am sorry, I didn't come to you sooner but the truth is I couldn't. It was just one night and I knew you had your life to live and I had to think of him, first before anything else. I have been running from Sean for over two years now, I already lost one baby because of him, I couldn't risk his life by returning to Portland."
"Then why come back now, why even tell me?"
"…Because Sean found me. I'm tired Nick. A life on the run isn't what I want for my son. I've been there, done that and suffered badly for It and the people I love have died already and Sean won't stop coming after me, whether I'm in Portland or Florida, or Timbuktu. I need your help, you are the only person left I trust. I know you hate me for everything I have done to you. I would hate me to, but I need you, our son needs you." She pleaded, her hand still covering Nick's over their baby.
"What the hell is this?"
"Juliette!" Nick's face swivelled violently to the brunette standing in the doorway.
"I can explain…" Nick said in embarrassment, his hands flying deep into his pocket but clearly not fast enough. Juliette was livid after what she saw.
"Not only do you have sex with this tramp and dream of her, she is also having your baby!" Juliette spat in Adalind's direction.
Adalind's face turned the colour of a grapefruit. Nick was dreaming of her? Stop it, you are not in love with Nick Burkhardt, Adalind reminded herself.
"I thought we had finally exorcised this trash from our lives and now this." Juliette continued with venom.
"Excuse me, bitch?" Adalind interjected. She was happy to sit this little lovers' tiff on the sidelines but this "bitch" had drag her into it.
"Adalind please, stay out of this." Nick turned towards her, moving her away from an increasingly fuming Juliette.
"I'm sorry Nick but I refuse to be disrespected like this." She tried not to think of his arms on her.
"You want me, come get me." Juliette came after her but Nick stood between them, shielding Adalind from Juliette's fury. Adalind suddenly cringed, the pain shooting straight from her lower half.
"Nick…" Adailnd called to him in distress, but he wasn't paying her any attention.
"I mean it Juliette, stop it. Take a step back…"
"Or what Nick. Are you going to defend this whore over me?"
"I won't say it again," he said angrily.
"Nick!" Adalind yelled at him.
"What?" he turned, "What's wrong?"
"The baby…Nick something's wrong. I can't lose him too, not now when I am so close." She tried to stay calm but the pain was increasing. Nick panicked. "Take me to the hospital, now." She said, ignoring his beast of a girlfriend. He wrapped his arm around her, supporting her weight and made for the door.
"You can't actually believe any of this, can you?" Juliette said; disgusted by what she saw. "She's manipulating you to do what she wants, after everything she's done to us…you're are letting her come between us yet again."
"Move out the way Juliette." He said sternly.
"You are choosing her over me?" she actually sounded shocked.
"I'm getting her to the hospital; we'll talk when I get back." He said ending their conversation before it could really begin.
Nick drove like a mad man towards the nearest hospital. He didn't say a single word the entire drive there. Adalind didn't dare break the silence plus she was still too focused on her baby, praying she wasn't going into early labour or worse. At the hospital they wheeled her up to get checked by the doctor, to make sure everything was still okay. Adalind couldn't give birth now, it was too soon. And didn't want to risk a premature birth.
The doctor called Nick into Adalind's room to give a prognosis of the series of tests done on Adalind and the baby. Apparently, she had gone into premature labour but her contractions had stopped on their own. He was concerned about Adalind's blood pressure; it was higher than he preferred. An immediate fear suddenly gripped Adalind.
"Is that dangerous?" Nick asked the doctor.
"It can be if left untreated for too long. But your wife got here before her and the baby's situation became dire. Under those circumstances, we would have needed to deliver the baby immediately to save both their lives."
Adalind gasped in horror. She couldn't lose her baby. She simply couldn't!
"Please Dr Simmons, do everything you can for them." He said, choking on emotion. Adalind was touched by Nick's concern, although he only meant for the doctor to save his son, she thought. Adalind was nothing to Nick despite Juliette crazy rant at the station.
"Don't worry, Mr Burkhardt, your wife and son are in very capable hands."
"She's not my wife." Nick finally corrected the man, who had the decency not to show surprise on his speckled face.
"We need to try and lower your…I mean Ms…Schade's BP. We will monitor her progress and hopefully the mediation will do its work. Her contractions have stopped but we'll continue being on our guard. Is this your first child?" he asked.
"Yes."
"No." They said at the same time causing the doctor to redden.
He turned to Adalind, "Since this isn't your first rodeo, you have some idea of what is happening. I know it's scary but you must cooperate and rest. Your baby will enter this world healthy and safe." He tried to reassure Adalind but it didn't work. He left mother and father alone together. Adalind wiped the silent tears from her face, causing Nick to look elsewhere but her fear riddled face. He really didn't know what to do or how to do it. He didn't think he'd ever see her face ever again, he almost hoped he wouldn't but there she was in the flesh, his baby growing on the inside of her. A lump lodged in his throat and Nick had to busy himself, to maintain control.
"I am sorry." Adalind said.
"What for?" He swallowed.
"Everything. I should have told you sooner but I was scared, scared of what you'd say. We didn't exactly have the best relationship, you and I and I was doubly afraid of Sean finding out and killing us both. Please forgive me…." The tendrils of sleep pulled her down. The medication worked fast. She didn't hear what he said as he took her hand in his.
He stayed for as long as he could by her side. Neither of them said anything more before she fell into a deep sleep, sweaty blond hair sticking to her furrowed brow. Even unconscious, she was worried. Nick hadn't seen her since that day. He flushed at the memory but he soon worried himself about what she said about Sean. Adalind said they talked quite a bit that night but he couldn't remember much talking. He twitched uncomfortably, remembering exactly what they did in detail but Nick quickly reined in his thoughts.
Adalind has said she'd seen Sean earlier and was drowning her sorrows and she also mention running away from him for two years, and that Their baby wasn't her first. Nick was suddenly plagued with too many questions and the only person that had the answers, was unable to talk and according to the doctor, she couldn't afford to stress, as that would have consequences on her life as well as their baby's.
Nick stepped out of Adalind's room and called for Dr Simmons, explaining the precarious situation around Adalind. He asked the doctor, to keep Adalind's identity secret and only refer to her under the alias of Catherine Schultz, her mother's maiden name. It was important no one know of her whereabouts, or her condition, her life and his son's depended on it.
"I will do as you ask, Mr Burkhardt. I take it she's to have no visitors during her stay?"
"Exactly, and if anything changes, even if it may seem trifle, call me. Here's my card."
"Aah, so you're a detective? That explains things."
"No one and I mean no one is to find out about Adalind…I mean Catherine, not even my boss, do you understand?" He implored the doctor.
"…No one…Understood." Dr Simmons repeated after Nick. like a parrot.
And just like that Nick left Adalind and his unborn baby, newly discovered, into the hands of a stranger. He was going to be a father. Nick couldn't believe it but first he had to go home and face the music….
Note: To all my readers, thank you for take the time to follow me on this journey. I am feeling a little restless during the hiatus, I miss Nadalind as do all of you. I hope you will enjoy the story. I appreciate any and all reviews.