Notes: Wow, thanks for all the favs and reviews and suggestions! It really means a lot. My thanks to Stripperella, Silveriss, MISCrasyaboutfanfics, and Jesus Luvs Everyone for their ideas. Thanks to HitokiriKurisuta for pointing out an error too.

Additions

Thank you to those of you that took the time out to consider this list and send me other suggestions. I took them all under consideration, but some of them are a little beyond the realms of being able to enforce them. For example, Anonymous' suggestion we ban general stupidity, because they are developing an allergy to it. Whilst it is a splendid idea, it would mean a good number of our forces being put into stasis lock whilst they are not on duty, which is not legal, however tempting.

The other main item on the list that cannot be banned is Fangirl letters and presents. I know many of our members do not encourage them, and as they come from outside sources, it is not something I can truly consider. I understand it is a human tradition to send these items to show their appreciation and we cannot ask them to stop as we are their guests on this planet. I would ask receivers not to brag about their items nor for receivers to be teased about what they get either.

Item 4 has been amended to include such songs as 'It's A Small World', 'I Know A Song That Gets On Everybody's Nerves', 'Barbie Girl' and 'Macarena'.

Item 15 has been amended to include all Video Games whilst on duty.

36. Strobe Lights.

-- These present a significant risk to the sensitivity of optics and increase the risk of Red Alert's paranoia fits. Anyone caught with them, on or off, without prior permission will be spending the next shift working under Ratchet's care as he explains why they do so much damage.

37. Make up.

-- I do not wish to know why this was suggested but the mental image it conjured was enough for me to agree to ban it.

38. Cymbals.

-- The Ark has inbuilt alarms for the use of waking you up in time for your shift. Bashing two metal plates together above someone else's head is not an allowed method.

39. Silly String.

-- Ratchet has informed me the next bot caught with this will be filled with it and left to work out how to get it out of themselves alone in the brig.

40. Glitter.

-- It is not appropriate to cover other members in it before human dignitaries arrive or before we head out into battle. The resulting sparkle is not respectable and draws too much attention in a fight. It also won't make you a vampire Sideswipe.

41. Energon Spiking.

-- Caffeine, Red Bull and Sugar is hereby banned unless it is within the provided human sections of the Ark. The result of spiking energon with either is physically damaging to the bot that consumes it and mental damaging to others who witness the actives the 'high' mech gets up to.

-- No one is allowed to spike Sunstreaker's energon with antipsychotic remedies. They do not work.

-- No one is allowed to spike Red Alert's energon with Prozac either. Inferno is left to deal with the overly cheerful Red Alert and it distracts him from his actual duties.

42. YouTube.

-- No one is allowed to upload to this site. The humans do not benefit by seeing what goes on when you are off duty and doing things that are strictly off limits.

-- I may allow videos of Decepticons doing ridiculous things, but they must be vetted first and at any signs of retaliation from the enemy I will stop the activities.

43. Toilet Paper.

-- This is banned from all non-human sections of the Ark.

-- It is also not for decoration.

44. Offensive Jokes.

-- In particular human jokes around visiting humans. We are guests on this planet.

45. Skateboards.

-- However you've made Transformer sized rocket propelled skateboards is not the issue Sideswipe. They are dangerous to use inside the base.

46. Lasers.

-- It is not funny to watch mechs dive for safety when they see little red dots on their chassis.

47. Speeding.

-- You are required to pay for your own speeding tickets. I do not care how you get the human money, only do so legally.

48. Potatoes.

-- Placing these up someone else's tail pipe will get you a trip to Ratchet and a potato of your own.

49. 'Are we there yet?' questions.

-- Such immature behaviour will mean you spend all your time on base. You'll be 'there' all the time.

50. Hyperbole.

-- This is a figure of speech. Do not take it literally. You should be used to the Decepticons using it by now.

51. Fake Blood.

-- Human or Cybertronian. It is disturbing and makes everyone panic.

52. Hitchiker's Guide To The Galaxy.

-- Don't Panic signs, 'Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters', happy doors and Vogon poetry is now banned.

53. Doorbell Ditch.

-- Do not ring/knock on bots doors and then run away. I will let the Dinobots into the culprits rooms.

54. Street Racing.

-- This is banned inside or outside the base.

55. Hardening Foam Filler.

-- This is strictly off limits to those without permission to use it. Whilst I have yet to catch whomever filled Inferno's nozzle with it, I am currenly reviewing the information at hand.