I'm Not Perfect Chapter 2: Find A Way, a darren shan saga/cirque du freak fanfic

"Hold on, what's the rush, what's the rush we're not done are we
Cause I don't need to change this atmosphere we've made if
You can stay one more hour, can you stay one more hour

You know I'm gonna find a way to let you have your way with me
You know I'm gonna find a time to catch your hand and make you stay

Hold on, I'll be here when it's all done you know
Cause what's the point in chasing if I can't enjoy your face and
We can't be wrong tonight, can we be wrong tonight

You know I'm gonna find a way to let you have your way with me
You know I'm gonna find a time to catch your hand and make you stay
I don't care what clothes you wear, it's time to love and I don't care
You know I'm gonna find a way to let you have your way with me

And if I was running, you'd be the one who I would be running to
And if I was crying, you would be lining the cloud that would pull me through
And if I was scared, then I would be glad to tell you and walk away
But I am not lying, I am just trying to find my way in to you

If I was running
If I was crying
If I was scared
You know I'm gonna find a way to let you have your way with me "

Find A Way - Chapter 2 - I'm Not Perfect - A Darren Shan Saga/Cirque Du Freak FanFiction.

Darren's point of view.

I don't know what came over me, but it didn't feel wrong to be like this with Steve. In fact, it felt wonderful. What was I saying? That it felt great to be with a guy? Oh great. I'm falling in love with my best friend. Steve broke away for air and then wound up rolling to the side and laying flat on his back on the bed.

"Darren... What does this mean for us now?" He said as he glanced at me out of the corner of his eye.

"Um... I don't know." I replied honestly.

And I really didn't know. I mean, I had a girlfriend and I wasn't ready to admit to being gay or anything like that. That would just be abnormal. Wouldn't it? That's when I realized something. I had a girlfriend. I had completely forgotten about Rebecca.

"Crap." I muttered under my breath.

Steve caught my muttered word.

"What's wrong?"

"I have a girlfriend Steve. I completely forgot about her." I couldn't even bring myself to look at him as guilt flooded through me. A sharp exhale of irritation caught my attention as I felt the bed shift. Suddenly, Steve wasn't near me anymore. He had wandered over to the window and was sitting on the familiar sill.

"Steve.." My voice was barely a whisper.

"What Darren? We can't go behind Rebecca's back like this and I don't just want to be a last resort type of thing." His dark eyes shifted to meet mine and I couldn't help but lift my gaze to the ceiling. Anywhere but those eyes. I could tell he was shaking his head as he lifted the window and put one leg over. This grabbed my attention in an instant. I leaned up on one elbow as I watched as he moved out onto the tree just outside. It was then that I finally put a voice to my question.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm giving you time to figure out what you want or what you need." He stated matter-of-factly. He didn't even hesitate as he shut the window behind him and shimmied on down the old oak tree. I sighed in defeat as I watched him disappear from my line of vision. We weren't even together and I was already causing hell. Dropping onto my back, I stared at the ceiling and pondered my options. I could break up with Rebecca, say that I don't think we are working out. Then I could be with Steve. I could stay with Becca, and then I could loose Steve. I don't think the second option really was an option at all. Picking up my phone, I dialed her number and typed in the message that would tear us apart and leave me free to do what I pleased. I wasn't actually expecting her to reply.

'Whatever, Darren. I guess it was never love. Go be happy. I won't stop you. Bye.'

I shook my head and gently placed the phone on my bedside table. Tomorrow would be Saturday and I would save the whole day to make everything up. As the night dragged on, I fell into a dreamless sleep. Everything would be okay.

Steve's point of view.

Rebecca. I never liked her. I probably never will. I just don't see how most of the school loves her. She's always running around in short skirts with nothing but gossip laying on her slimy lips. I rolled my eyes just thinking about her. Darren obviously saw something in her though and I guess that was what mattered. If he picked her over me, so be it. I would just have to wait until tomorrow to see what decision he came to.

My house came into view and a rolling sensation started up in my stomach. It always repulsed me to come home. This place was a complete hell hole. Honestly, the only reason I come back is because I would have no where to go. It's not like I can just move in with Darren or something. Not that he wouldn't like the idea. No, he wouldn't. He had her. I grumbled as I walked in the house and went straight to my room. I was thinking over everything that happened, but I couldn't come up with a conclusion of what was going on now. As I continued to ponder the ideas, I wound up passing out. It could wait until tomorrow.

Darren's point of view.

Steve and I had always agreed to meet at the park after a fight or if one of us had to go home before we could get a chance to hang out. It wasn't anything special, but I'm glad we agreed on it. Without it, we wouldn't be meeting up today most likely. I leaned against the oak in the dead center of the field as I waited for Steve. It was just before eleven am that he showed up and made his way towards me. Despite everything, I couldn't stop the instant smile that curved my lips.

"I've got good news." I blurted out before he ever reached me.

"Oh yeah? What is it?" He leaned against the tree as he stared at me expectantly.

"I broke up with Rebecca. I made my decision." For some reason, he looked completely caught off gaurd by this. Apparently, he wasn't expecting me to choose him. After all, we wee two guys. We were best friends. We were in love. I tried to stifle my laughter, but wound out just letting it all flow out of me as I took in his stunned expression. Eventually, it softened into a look of pure joy. I wasn't expecting him to lean forward and kiss me right then and there. Since I was still getting used to everything, I reacted without thinking. I pressed my hands against his chest and pushed the somewhat shorter boy away from me. A frown almost instantly painted his face.

"Steve. It's not that I don't love you, I'm just not used to this." I made a hand gesture around us to emphasis my point.

"You know I'm gonna find a way to let you have your way with me. You know I'm gonna find the time to catch your hand and make you stay." I smiled warmly at him. I would be sure to find a way for him to do what he wanted with me. For us to be in love without a care in the world. Time for us to be able to hold hands without fear or without pressure. I would find a way to make everything perfect. It was time to love and I didn't care.

He seemed satisfied with the answer and settled for a quick hug before we found ourselves playing soccer like always. This was possibly the start of a perfect relationship. That is, if only I had realized that the Cirque Du Freak would have changed my life for the worst.

A/N: So I don't really like my writing style when it comes to writing in first person, but I have an odd time writing the same gender stories in third person. I may switch betweent he two so just bear with me. Please and thank you. Feel free to leave a review or send me a message. I'm always open for advice, suggestions, so on and so forth. Send Darren and Steve some love. ;D They just might die if you don't and we don't want that now, do we? No. We don't (: