AN: Hiya, I had these words spinning in my head so wrote it down. Hope you enjoy! ;)
Disclaimer: Unfortunately I do not own HP characters. J.K.R is the one. *thumbs up*
Awake at Night
~o0o~
All this time while you've been watching, I could not stop the nightmares I have been having. Each time I walk, I breathe, you're in my head, always screaming. I can't get you out of my head each day I lay my head to rest. Why is it that at night I am awake, thinking about you when all this time I only want to be on my own.
This thing between you and me is getting tiresome indeed. I cannot wait till I have done my duties. For I'm sick of these countless sleepless nights, I don't want to be awake at night. I have plenty of those to spare, soon I hope my discoveries will give me enough to share. It is sad I cannot tell anyone how much turmoil I'm in, I'm beginning to think this errand will turn me in.
These struggles, the paranoia, the mistrust I'm having, it's settling on my skin very thickly and heavily. Everywhere I go, whomever I pass, my mind does not stop spinning. As time passes, my hope is starting to thin, I think you'd find if you looked closely enough, my heart is sinking and my despair is anew, raw and unshaken, unmistakably so. That's why I find myself awake at night; I am dreading the upcoming disaster that awaits me at dawn.
In my head I've drawn this bow and arrow, I'm ready to surrender if I become successful, but during this time I must not falter lest I find myself in the middle of a battleground, with me on the floor motionless, stone dead. The moves I make, the people I hurt on the way, just know that I did not have a choice I could not let my family suffer alone or in any way. Awake at night I always wonder, were the choices I made worth the excitement to be grandeur.
I often think awake at night, what would it have been like if I hadn't offered my serves like they were up for barter. Now that my job here is done, I'm not feeling as proud as I ought to. My smile is forced, my troubles have not vanished. I don't think I'm leaving tonight; my days here are one count over.