Bad Businessman

The blast was a violent tidal wave of bone-chilling sherbert delight, knocking any who dared get close back a few dozen feet.

The guards met a harsh fate. The grenade rendered them all as frozen statures, their faces eternally stuck with expressions of shock, confusion, and fear.

Well, until they thawed out, at least.

Then they just needed to worry about hypothermia.

"Oooh," Nigel wearily groaned as he sat up. He and his fellow kids-in-arms had fared far better, it seemed. He tore his sunglasses off his face, shaking stray bits of ice cream off, then turned to Numbuh 4-Below. The Ubekian commander slowly stood on her feet, her fur coat sprinkled with bits of sherbert. Since she was clearly alright, that only left two more unaccounted for. "Numbuh 4? Where are you?"

"Stupid grenade," Wally muttered, trying to stop that annoying ringing in his ear. Shaking his head, the young boy tried to stand up so they could get back to escaping. Well, he tried to. It felt like a hunk of ice of weighing him down. His hands swept over his eyes, rubbing away any excess ice cream to see clearer. When his vision returned, the poor lad nearly experienced a heart attack. "AAHHH!"

'Numbuh 4!" Nigel heard the girly cry of terror, and honed in on the source. As he neared the blond, his paced slowed as the scene before him came into focus. "Quit lying around on the job! We need to find…the Princess?"

"Get this thing off'a me! Get it–wait a sec," he paused mid-scream. Using all his might, he pushed the scary looking object off of him. He scurried away a safe distance, and was able to see the object that had scared the living daylights out of him was the princess herself. "What's the matter with you! I oughta pop you for scaring–I mean, thinking you could scare me! 'Cuz I wasn't scared! That scream? It was a, er, reflex!"

"Princess?" Nigel ignored Wally's claims of denial and hurried over to the girl. He already had a thousand and one apologies and explanations prepared for Hoagie's little friendly-fire mishap, but after a moment, he doubted he would need any of them, because the girl wasn't responding to a word he was saying. "Princess? Princess! Oh great, Numbuh 4!"

"What?" Wally whined. This mission now officially blew chunks. Everyone had been yelling at him today, in two different languages. "I'm not the one who chucked a grenade outta nowhere!"

"Just grab her feet, and let's get out of here!"

Numbuh 4-Below was preoccupied with picking bits of ice cream shrapnel out of her fur coat. That was going to be so much fun to explain to her mother. However, her trance was broken when Numbuh 1 and his loud blond teammate rushed by…were they carrying the Princess? The girl didn't have much time to think about that, seeing as a dart whizzed past her cheek. It seemed the guards had upped to projectiles now. Okay, time to go.

"Come on, come on, come on!" Abby waved, willing her friends to get on board the RV faster. Kuki jumped in first, followed by Infinity. Numbuh 4-Below vaulted inside, and at last, Nigel and Wally trudged in, carrying…"What the–"

Nigel interrupted her question as he slammed the door on a guard's face. "Punch it!"

Hoagie, already secured in the driver's seat, didn't need to be told twice. Without any sign of warning, the boy stomped on the acceleration, sending hurdles of snow flying as the RV took off. The vehicle spun slightly out of control, caused some property damage by destroying a few valuable looking figurines, and crashed through the barricade as it sped out of the compound the way it entered.

"Well," Kuki breathed, "that was…fun?"

"Yeah," Wally sneered, "if by fun ya mean getting shot at, almost blown up, and yer hair pulled out by a nutty princess, then yeah, it was SUPER FUN!"

Infinity leaned on the counter as he took a moment to catch his breath. "Where is the Princess? Is she safe?"

"Y-Yeah," Nigel gulped, "Of course she's safe! Why in the world wouldn't she be?"

"Oh that's a relief, because for a second there, I thought she got caught in the explosion and something bad happened to her," Kuki giggled, extremely happy to know her earlier fears were misplaced. But her cheery demeanor was shaken when Nigel shot her a glare. "Um, what did I say?"

The sector leader began fidgeting as all eyes were on him. Just peachy, under the spotlight. Except he didn't want to be this time. "Well, she is on board this vessel and she is safe. Technically."

"Technically?" Infinity folded his arms as his brows furrowed. "Numbuh 1, in my line of work, 'technically' is a fancy way of saying 'I screwed up big time and you're so gonna kick my butt when I tell you what happened'."

"That's a rather choice way of putting it," the Brit slumped. "Look, she's…that is to say…oh fudge, take a look for yourselves!"

And that they did. The children pushed past the befuddled Numbuh 1 to the back of the RV where Abby sat attending to the princess of the hour. Princess Yal'see's body had been placed on the lower bunk bed, the royal child just lying there without the rebellious protest she gave the team earlier. In fact, she didn't seem to be giving any type of protest at all. She was just lying there, stiff as a board.

That wasn't a good sign.

"Sweet Rainbow Monkey Mary," Infinity began to panic. "What's wrong with her?"

"Is she frozen?" Wally asked.

"Not frozen," Abby answered somberly. "Well, not on the outside, at least."

"'Not on the outside'? This isn't the time to start speaking in riddles, Numbuh 5!"

"Just hold up for a second. She thinks she's seen this before," she said thoughtfully. She lifted up the rim of her cap, and presented her empty hand to Kuki. "Numbuh 3, got any cotton swabs?"

"Sure do!" the girl chirped as she reached for her medical supplies. "Do you want a red one, a blue one, an orange one, a pink one, or a–"

Abby rolled her eyes as she took the orange swab, then promptly opened the Princess' mouth and swished it around inside. She brought the swab to eye-level, critically inspecting it. They were all waiting cautiously for her word when she made a murmur of confirmation. "Just as I thought. There's bits of ice cream shrapnel in her mouth. The Princess musta swallowed a whole heap of ice cream from the C.R.E.A.M.I.E."

"She swallowed it?" Nigel gaped, horrified. "Ice cream in C.R.E.A.M.I.E. grenades are set at temperatures of negative bahmillion degrees!"

"Right. Numbuh 5 can't even eat ice cream dat cold without gettin' a nasty brain freeze. Which is exactly happened to Lil Miss Princess here." Abby carelessly flicked the cotton swab away before looking down at Yal'see with new understanding. "Yal'see's in a Brain Freeze Coma."

"Brain Freeze Coma?" Wally repeated. "What's that?"

"A brain freeze so bad, your whole head feels like it's in a cold snap. It's the worst kinda brain freeze out there. Numbuh 5 feels sorry for the poor thing."

Infinity seemed ruffled by all this new information. "So she has a brain freeze. That does not explain why she's not moving."

"Of course it does, fool. Her brain's frozen, and until it gets un-frozen, it ain't gonna be sending any commands to the rest of her body. She's, um, paralyzed from the brain down right now, if dat makes sense."

"Ah, I see," Infinity nodded. Then, in a split second, the diplomat held up Wally by the scruff of his coat; jerking him around like a madman. "LOOK AT WHAT YOU'VE DONE!"

"HEY!" Most operatives would be intimidated by Infinity's high ranking status, and just let him have his way. Wally, of course, wasn't like most operatives. So, he had no problem punching Infinity in the face to force the boy to drop him. "Do that again, and the next one lays you out flat! Why is everyone blaming ME for this? It's not my fault!"

While Nigel and Kuki helped him to a standing position, Numbuh Infinity let out a spiteful hiss, "It needs to be someone's fault! Which one of you imbeciles threw the grenade?"

"Hey guys, everything cool back here?" Hoagie greeted as he unknowingly stepped into the hot spot, "They didn't follow us, so I put the computer on auto. Should be smooth cruising until we get to the checkpoint." Oblivious to all the glares being sent this way, the jovial pilot took a peek at the Princess and chuckled. "Hey, someone tell Yal'see if she keeps looking at us like that, her face is gonna get frozen that way," he laughed at his own little quip. That was the last straw on the camel's back, as Hoagie found himself getting a combo slap to the noggin by Abby and Numbuh 4-Below. "OW! Geez, tough crowd!"

"Numbuh 2," Nigel said with a monotonous drawl, and sector V knew that tone meant someone was about to get it. And no one ever wants to get it. Because when you get it, there's not much you could do about it. And it was pretty bad. "Do you have the slightest notion as to what you have done?"

"Uh," Hoagie hesitated, "I'm guessing that saying, 'I've done nothing wrong what-so-ever, and I'm getting a medal' is being too optimistic?"

Abby held her thumb up, then blew out a low whistle as her thumb dropped towards the floor.

"Thought so."

"Allow me to enlighten you then. Thanks that brilliant maneuver of yours with that C.R.E.A.M.I.E. grenade, the Princess is now in a Brain Freeze Coma! Didn't anyone teach you to check your targets?"

"Well sorrrr-ry! Next time I see a buncha goons heading your way, I'll just point and hope for the best!"

"Hu-boon-do!" Numbuh 4-Below raged, Wally and Kuki tasked with holding her back. "Big stupid HU-BOON-DO!"

"Alright, alright!" Abby shouted, trying to reign everyone in. "Everybody just calm down. This ain't the time to act like it's the end of the world."

"As this mission's acting ambassador, I declare that it is the perfect time to act like it's the end of the world!" Infinity all but flipped out, not helping the tension at all. "It's all over! All our work in this region has been for nothing! Generations. It took us GENERATIONS to get a decent foothold in Ubeki-beki-beki-stan-stan's ice cream operations, and you idiots managed to send all that to heck in an Easter basket in less than ten minutes!"

"Ten minutes? We lasted a lot longer this time around," Hoagie proudly stated. Abby just let off an exasperated groan.

"I swear, I'm going to have you all decommissioned for this!"

"Lighten up, silly head!" Kuki tried to appease Numbuh Infinity, whom was in real danger of being the first kid to spontaneously combust. The girl made an effort of tidying his edged bow-tie and dusting off his fancy suit. "Look on the bright side, things could be a loooot worse."

"They are!" he snapped, slapping her hands away. "In case it slipped your feeble little mind, this mission isn't over yet! We were to rescue Princess Yal'see and escort her back to the Tipuan summit where she was supposed to speak up and make sure her brother didn't break off our treaty!"

"Oh, I get it!" Wally spoke up. "If she's in a coma, then she can't speak at this summit thingy!"

"Wonderful observation, Numbuh 4. Do you want a gold star for figuring that one out?"

"There has to be a way to salvage this. We've come to far just to give up now!" Nigel fretted. His team was not going to be the cause of a failed treaty. Again. "It's just a brain freeze, right? Can't we warm her up or something?"

Abby shook her head. "She'll come out of it, but we got let it melt off naturally. Speeding up the process could be dangerous."

"Well that's great. Just great."

"Hu puna neki," Numbuh 4-Below began to spaz, pacing back and forth in front of the Princess' stiff body. "Alk no gan'po. Noo gan'po…"

Wally took a step back from 4-Below, not wanting to risk getting slapped like Hoagie. "What's her problem?"

"I don't know, and I honestly don't care!" Infinity yelled. "'Let Sector V handle it', 'they're the most qualified', bah! I knew this was a mistake. If it had been up to me, I would have had another sector to substitute for you nimrods faster than you could say, 'Delightful Children from Down the Lane'."

Hoagie, who had opted to remain silent lest he get in more trouble, chose this moment to speak up when Infinity's words sparked a wild idea. "Substitute…substitute! Guys, I think I got it!"

Nigel pinched the bridge of his nose. "I think you've done enough, Numbuh 2."

"No, just hear me out, I think I know how we can make sure the Prince doesn't break off the treaty!" he hastily said. "What if we had the Princess show up, without her actually showing up?"

Wally blinked. "Okay, I know I'm not the only one who didn't get that."

"Ugh, don't you see? We just need to substitute the Princess!"

Kuki cutely tilted her head. "You mean like the substitute teacher with the glandular problem?"

"Yes! I mean, no. Well, kind of–no no, this is different," he tried to explain. "What I mean is, all we gotta do is dress somebody up to look exactly like the Princess, then we send the fake princess in to speak at the summit. They say a few words, shake some hands, and then get out of there before anybody catches on."

"Dat has gotta be the craziest plan Numbuh 5 has heard in her life," Abby deadpanned, "and she listens to Numbuh 1 on a regular basis."

Normally, Nigel would have taken offense to that comment. But Hoagie's idea had sunk too deeply in his mind. "It could work…"

"Case and point," Abby sighed. "Numbuh 1, you seriously can't believe we can pull that off!"

"Stranger things have happened," he tried to defend. "Look, I'm not thrilled about it either, but what choice do we have? I am not failing this mission when there's options available. Unless you have a better idea?"

"Say we did dress up somebody as the Princess; how would they not botch it up? As soon as it gets to the talking part, we're doomed, 'cause none of us here even speak Ubekian."

Kuki suddenly jumped up, flinging her hand in the air for attention. "Oh! Oh oh oh! Numbuh Infinity could do it! He can tell scary ghost stories like everyone else here!"

Infinity was about to speak against it when Wally did it for him. "Are you stupid? That guy couldn't translate his way out of a paper bag."

The diplomat settled into a rigid glare as he got in Wally's personal space. "Are you implying I can't adequately negotiate between two foreign parties?" Infinity may have had his faults, but you never ever, ever, ever question his skills as a KND politician.

Ever.

Wally was not fazed, and held his ground. "No, I'm im-ply-ing that ya can't speak a lick of Ubekian, and everything that's came outta yer mouth so far has made just about as much sense as guinea pigs doing the tango in a tub of gravy."

No one knew how long the staring contest went on between the two, the rest of children not daring to interrupt this ultimate test of wills. In the end, the victor would go undecided, for Wally and Infinity both withdrew at the same time. The blond Aussie huffed and leaned against the wall as the diplomat straightened out his suit.

"This folly of a plan will surely fail, but I will not stand by and let fragile peace slip through our fingers without acting," was Infinity calculated response. "Find a suitable replacement for Princess Yal'see, and I shall do all the talking."

"Now isn't that the sixty-four-dollar question," Nigel commented while stroking his chin. "Just who can we get to dress up as the Princess on such short notice?"

Abby, for one, couldn't believe how easily everyone seemed to be falling in step with this scheme. Like they really expected it to work with their track record. Ugh. Probably better to just blame it all on the cold and just go along with it. She took one look at the pale skinned child, and instantly marked herself off the list of candidates. "Numbuh 5 can't do it."

"Me! Me me me! I wanna dress up like a Princess!"

"Hey, maybe we should dress up Miss Slaps-a-lot over here. She's already Ubekian," Hoagie teased as he leaned away from Numbuh 4-Below, assuming she wouldn't hear him. But she did, and swiftly kicked him in the shin for his crude remark. "Lady, you need to learn to take a joke."

"Unless you people have hair dye randomly lying around somewhere, neither Numbuh 3 or 4-Below can fit the description," Infinity pointed out, "Yal'see is a blonde, as you can plainly see."

"Yeah, and a bit on the short side too," Abby added, now studying the girl with a keen eye, "Kinda, lanky lookin' when ya get a good look at her up close."

"And she's got this whole, 'tomboy' style goin' on," Hoagie imputed, framing his hands like he was some expert photographer, "Heck, loose the ponytail and trim up around the shoulders, and she'd pass for a boy."

"Hmm, so all we gotta do is find somebody with blonde hair, looks like a boy, and is short," Wally muttered thoughtfully, trying to sound smart by reiterating everything everyone had said so far. So caught up in his musings, he failed to see how the gang was staring at him. "Where the crud are we gonna find someone like that?"

Hoagie, Nigel, and Abby ignored whatever came out of Wally's mouth next. They were just too focused on his certain features. More specifically, his blond hair, boyish looks, and very short structure. Hoagie scratched his chin as he turned to the others. "I guess I could fashion a wig together…"

"Wig? Why are we gonna need a wig?" Wally asked. When he met their gazes, he was instantly put off by how everyone was just staring at him. "Why are you all staring at me? It's creepy!"

"It's…just like you said, Numbuh 4," Nigel coughed into his hand. The bald boy then slowly walked up to the Aussie, and put a comforting hand on his shoulder. "We need someone blonde, short, and eh, boyish, if you catch my drift…"

Wally stared at Nigel's hand. Given how intently he was staring at it, you would think it became the most fascinating object in his little world. But that wasn't what was happening.

No, you see, what was really going on was that the little hamster in Wally's mind had just woken up from its nap. The lazy fur ball stumbled up onto its cute pinwheel, and started a slow pace. The hamster began picking up speed, causing the wheel to spin faster, and faster, and faster…

And faster.

Hold on.

Oh.

Oh?

"OH!" Wally yelped, slapping Nigel away when it finally clicked. Wally took off for the back end of the RV, and held up a stray broom in defense; just daring anyone to try and get close. "No! No no no no no no no NO! I am NOT–"

"Yay! Numbuh 4 gets to play Princess!" Kuki cheered. Okay, sure, she was a little jealous she wasn't the one who got to dress up, but that just meant she got to do something just as good. "I'll go get my Rainbow Monkey Travel Make-up Kit!"

"You all stay away from me!" He swung the broom once in a show of warning. "I know how to use this thing!"

"Hmm, Numbuh 5's not so sure, guys," Abby argued. "I mean, sure. The sport would make a pretty princess," Chuckle. "But do we really wanna risk it?"

"We get ice cream and cheesecake exports from here," Nigel crossed his arms, "You want to be the one to tell the Supreme Leader we screwed that up? Be my guest."

"Numbuh 5'll clean up Yal'see's fancy dress then."

Wally paled. "Y-you…you can't be serious! I ain't dressing up as some girl again!"

Infinity's raised brow was the only key sign of his surprise, "Again?"

"C'mon pal, take one for the team. It won't be so bad. You get to rub elbows with high society, have guys wait on you hand and foot, not to mention all those fancy finger hors d'oeuvres."

"If that's your thing, then why don't YOU do it!?"

"You kidding? The dress isn't my style."

"Be reasonable, Numbuh 4," Nigel said sternly, "If we don't go through with this, we might as well kiss all that ice cream goodbye. Think of all the children who'll be forced to submit to Tasty Taste's trade laws!"

"I don't see you asking any of them to dress up like a girly-girl!" Wally shot back. "Forget it, Numbuh 1. There ain't no way I'm doing it! Nope. Uh uh! No way, no how!"

"I hate you all. Hate hate hate," Wally growled, sounding quite akin to a skipping motor. The blond–or for the moment, blonde– was dragging his feet through the royal Tipuan estate courtyard. Adorned in Yal'see royal fair, thin fur garnishes along with the crystal tiara, and a ponytail wig slapped together with from the curls of a mop, the boy fit the role surprisingly well. At least until he opened his mouth, that is. "All my hate."

"I said I'd make it up to you, didn't I?" Nigel grumbled. He was currently standing under Numbuh Infinity, with the latter boy hitching a ride on the former's shoulders. The two boys wore a long, adult sized robe belonging to one of Ubekian officials; hiding Nigel from view while Infinity blew bows and waves from up top. "All you have to do is smile and look pretty. That's it."

"I am neva going to smile again after this," Wally grumbled, "And being pretty's for sissies!"

"I must say, these Ubekians have an exquisite fashion sense," Infinity awed at the fabric he wore, digging the design and texture. "How on Earth did you guys manage to get your hands on this?"

Nigel smiled proudly, though it was hard to see from behind the robe, "My team has their methods."

Outside the estate grounds, Abby and Kuki had their hands full stuffing the body of an unconscious, half-naked Ubekian official in the trunk of the RV.

"How do I get myself into these things?" Wally moaned. Scratch what he said before, now this mission officially blew chunks. It blew all kinds of nasty, stupid, cruddy chunks of crud. "Just peachy. How long do I have to look like this?"

"Just until Yal'see's alliance with the Kids Next Door is secured," Nigel explained while treading along carefully as they journeyed up a flight of icy stairs, "If Numbuh Infinity is right–"

"Which I most certainly am."

"–then they'll start the meeting by asking you a few questions. With Numbuh Infinity's help–"

"Which you most certainly need."

"–you'll answer them correctly, then they'll dismiss us so they can get the real 'adult' business." Those last few words were tapered with a certain amount of distaste. "Then we get out of there, and hope the Princess isn't too…annoyed with us once the Brain Freeze Coma wears off."

"Because I'm sure that happens to her quite often," Infinity snipped sarcastically. "Keep it down you two, we're approaching the entrance."

The disguised operatives came to the top of the stair way, the nippy winds being blocked out by the longhouse before them. Once Infinity and Nigel were sure their robe was in order and Wally was presentable–as presentable as Wally could get, anyway– they marched down the walkway, coming up on two iron clad guards standing vigilantly by the door.

"Muli," one spoke, lowering his weapon, "Cal'ho johl?"

For some reason or another, Infinity blanked. "Uh…"

"What are you waiting for?" Nigel hissed, "Say something!"

"Copul tor?" the guard's deposition wasn't getting any better, and they were a second away from kicking the idiot out.

But that was before they finally saw the small 'girl' at the official's side. "Y-Yal'see!" They suddenly became all smiles and cupcakes, and opened the doorway while going into an exaggerated bow.

Wally rolled his eyes as he stomped in, Nigel and Infinity following in behind him. Once they were inside the warmth of the lavish longhouse, the blonde rose his head to fuss. "What was all that about back there? Ya clam up or something?"

"A very good question," Nigel agreed, poking his head out, "This isn't the time for your nerve to fail you, Numbuh Infinity. If they hadn't fell for Numbuh 4's disguise, they would have thrown us to the wolves! Or whatever wildlife they have up here."

"I…I'm not sure," Infinity stuttered. He didn't know how to explain it, but those guards back there…for moment, he could've sworn whatever they said was complete gibberish. He didn't understand a word of it. But he kept that information to himself, he didn't need to give these two any more reason to undermine his authority. "I-I'm just feeling a bit overwhelmed. It shall not happen a second time."

"Let's hope so." Nigel withdrew back into the robe, and continued down the hall towards the main court.

At the same moment, further down the hall and inside the room the boys were trying to enter, First-Born Prince Yul'sha Tipuan sat diligently as the elders went on about their political business. The teenager took a sip of tea one of the servants presented him, and smirked into his drink when he noted the distress in the old geezers' voices. No doubt wondering where his sister, Yal'see, could be during this crucial meeting.

Things were going along quite swimmingly, if he allowed himself to gloat. All his family's elders, advisers, and allies were attending this meeting along with the dozens of other guests and businessmen seated around him. With his sister located at the base of the Numa Mountain, far from this meeting, endless debate was sparking up in attempts to stall. But they would never find her in time, he made sure of that.

A smug look overcame his features, though it went unnoticed by everyone. Yes, Yal'see was far away, safely tucked away from all this, and without her here, they would be forced to adjourn this foolish nonsense. Of course, he had the next summit to worry about, but he had thought ahead, and procured several other installments around the country to hide his sister. He would keep hiding her until the elders dropped this idea entirely.

Oh yes, nothing was going to ruin his brilliant plan. Nothing at all.

"Left, go left. No, your other left!"

What was that?

"My left is your left! There is no 'other' left, idiot! Do you mean right?"

"No, I mean–Gaah! Your inane sense of direction is going to blow our cover!"

"MY sense of direction? I'm not the one who doesn't know the difference between his–OW! You kicked me in the neck!"

"Can I take off this dress now?"

"NO!"

Prince Yul'sha, along with the rest of the court, had dropped everything as the commotion from the hall drew closer and closer. Suddenly, the door to the room flew upon, and an awkward looking Ubekian official came barging in, sending death glares to his mid-sections for some odd reason. The men of the room looked on wary, not recognizing this man, while the woman looked on with contempt, dying to know his beauty secrets. His face. Why, he didn't look a day over eleven!

"Stop stop stop!" Infinity kicked Nigel again to get him to comply. The Brit had restrain himself from throwing the boy halfway across the room. After the hazardous task of regaining his balance, Numbuh Infinity became acutely aware of the fact that he had the entire room's attention. "Uh," at a loss for words, he did the next best thing and pulled Wally out from behind him. "Yal'see!"

The effect was instant. The entire room lit up like a Christmas tree, as if their savor had been returned to them. The boys were slightly put off by how happy they all seemed, to say the least.

Not everyone was dancing with glee, however. Prince Yul'sha's face filled with immense dread at the sight of the "Princess". They had found Yal'see, and brought her back here? Who? How? Why? Not thinking, the Prince leapt from his seat like it was on fire, running towards what he believed was his sister and the official escorting her.

Wally grumbled at how the whole place was celebrating his arrival. What a load of losers. He then saw the Prince headed their way, and became even more upset. Because of his stupid disguise, he couldn't even give the lousy teenager a knuckle sandwich! "Incoming."

"Yal'see na'gik? No suni! Neiw gon'kon ori!" the Prince flipped out, coming up and shaking Infinity by the shoulders. Before he could say another word, he hunched over in pain as something hit his leg. He snapped down, thinking the official had kicked him, but he stumbled back in shock when he saw a outstretched arm instead. "Tu ful?"

"You're too late to stop us now, Yul'sha." Nigel's face peaked out from the robes to give the flabbergasted prince a smoldering glare. "Your clever little ruse is over. Your plot to keep the Princess away from the summit was impressive, but the Kids Next Door are always one step ahead of you."

Yul'sha blinked as he registered the foreign boy's words. Infinity was about to call for someone to haul the Prince away when he shocked all three of them by uttering, "Kids Next Door? What are you idiots doing here? You'll ruin everything!"

"Wait," Wally gasped, "you speak English?"

"What the?" Yul'sha balked. "You…you're not…what is going on here!"

"I'll tell you what's going on," Infinity answered in a hushed tone, "Your efforts to break Princess Yal'see's alliance and force KND forces out of the area is over. As long as we are young and able, we will never allow your adult masters from the Tasty Taste Company to have influence here."

"Tasty Taste influence? What are you–"

"Yul'sha," came a raspy voice from across the room. One of the family heads stood up, and waved the boy off. "Ho'pal no-semi. Tal guk."

"Uh, dove nol krosis fo'poa!" the Prince quickly recovered as he turned to face the speaking adult. "Yal'see no hu'malorna. NO hu–"

"Ne'k!" the adult interrupted. He brushed his hand to the side, signaling for the boy to leave. "Gur mek'a."

The Prince fumed as guards came up to his sides. One put their hand on his shoulder, but he threw it off, storming out the room. The guards shared a shrug, then proceeded to escort the royal son out of the meeting, leaving the three children confused.

Wally blinked as they closed the doors. "What just happened?"

"It seems there was some argument," Infinity assumed. "At least that's one less thing to worry about."

"Yal'see ta'me!" They were brought back to the reality of the situation when the adult at the hand of the table greeted them with open arms. "So'poa nul kana! Qulu omi di'vinn?"

"Alright Infinity," Nigel lowered his voice to a whisper, "Translate for Numbuh 4."

"Uh, yes…" he said hesitantly. "He asks if you…um, if you would to…uh, oh no."

"What's wrong?"

"Er, y-you have to understand," Infinity slowly started, now realizing why he didn't understand the royal guards outside and what the problem was. "I've only ever translated for the Ubekian Kids Next Door sector, and they speak a more, rough country variant of the language. These adults here…I-I'm not entirely familiar with their regional dialect…"

Close to snapping, Wally jumped up and pulled Infinity down to face level. "You mean to tell me after forcing me to dress like a stupid princess, you have no idea what they're saying?"

"No! I-I…no! I can do this, I can!" Infinity tried to persuade, "It's just the same language, different dialect. Give me a moment, and I can do a rough translation, I promise?"

"Yal'see?" the adult repeated, a tad more suspicious what with the odd display before them all, "Qulu omi di'vinn?"

"Um, okay. I recognize the word 'council' in there. Um, something about being presented…" Infinity racked his brain, "I think I got it, tell him, yes. Uk."

Wally sighed, then out a feminine sounding, "Uk."

"Ah," the man seemed pleased. "Iu'pon yula omi no Yul'sha's kar'naak?"

"Something about the Prince's opinion on…something?"

Nigel groaned. "They're probably asking do you agree with Yul'sha's opinion on the alliance. Tell them no!"

"Uh, how do I say that?"

"Nid," Infinity supplied.

"Nid!" Wally parroted. He then became confused at how most of the council responded to his answer. "They seem a little too happy about that."

"I agree," Nigel said, peaking out a slit in the robe. "Something seems…off."

"Tois maka!" the adult laughed. He then clapped his hand, and from the far corner of the room, a previously unimportant party stepped up to take stage in front of the council. The boys then saw another child. A boy in similar royal garbs, disgustingly picking his nose with no shame. They flinched at the scene, but the adult elder only patted the young one comfortingly. "Oumi ya'la yupio hu'malorna?"

"Who the heck is that dork?"

"Proposal?" Infinity muttered, only succeeding in confusing himself, "What proposal? Do they mean the alliance?"

"Infinity, what is going on?" Nigel demanded.

"Uh, just say yes, Numbuh 4."

"Fine," Wally scoffed. He really didn't care what these old farts were talking about, the quicker he got out of this dress, the faster he could start working on forgetting this horrible mission. "Uk."

"UK!" the man cheered. "Yal'see uk-uki! Noma kel'ak anorns, hu'malorna, aki'nin!"

"Now what did he say?"

"I don't understand. He called an end to the meeting, but just started something else. Something to do about 'hu'malorna'. I don't know what that word means, but have a feeling it's rather important."

"A-Ah!" Numbuh 1 and Infinity jumped when they heard Wally yelped. They turned just in time for Infinity to see the boy being carted away by a group of giggling maids. "Guys! HELP!"

"Was that Numbuh 4?" Nigel asked, "I can't see a thing, what's going on?"

"They're taking him somewhere."

"Where?"

"I don't know, we need to follow them. Quick, go left," Infinity paused, and looked down dryly towards Nigel. "And I actually mean left this time."

He should probably be feeling guilty about what he just did. He really should be, but he just wasn't. Yes, it wasn't fair to just start yelling at them like that, they were only doing their jobs. But that gave them no right put their girly mitts all over him. Personal space much?

Poor Wally was in a predicament. A rather annoying predicament. Even labeling it 'annoying' was a courtesy at this point. He just couldn't believe how lame this day was getting. At first he was hyped, because it was a rescue mission. Finally some action! But then he found out he was rescuing a princess. Okay, kind of stupid, but he would deal.

Then he somehow ended up dressing as said princess…

He wasn't happy with that decision, just to make himself clear.

Now, after some ridiculous meeting he didn't understand a lick of, here he was: cooped up in some plushy room with violet wall textures, a soft rug shaped like a puppy dog face staring up at him from the floor, and a way-too-stuffed up bed with fancy pillows and 'cute' dollies. He supposed he was in the princess' room, and to be honest? He wasn't a fan. After witnessing her decoration sense, he didn't feel all that sorry for her getting frozen.

Alright, that line of thinking was a little mean, but can you blame him? He didn't know what exactly to think at the moment. But two things he did know, were that the first chance he got, he was going to tear the stupid dress he was forced to wear to itty bitty little shreds.

And he was going to beat the pure living snot out of Numbuh Infinity the next time he saw him.

"You are the worst lower half I've ever seen, honestly! Go right!"

"I AM going–ooooh no, I'm not going down that road again."

Wally watched as the door to his room began to open. He half expected those lousy maids to come in again, but he was somewhat relieved when Numbuh Infinity and Nigel entered instead. The diplomat hopped down onto the floor as Nigel threw the robe off his body. The bald boy was all too happy not having to carry around Infinity anymore. His shoulders couldn't take it.

The blond's expression brightened at the sight of his comrades, even more so when his eyes landed on Infinity.

"Numbuh Infinity!" Wally cheered, hopping off the bed to greet the boy personally.

The kid himself was slightly put off by Wally's odd smile as he headed straight for him. "Er, hello, Numbuh 4?" Wally stopped in front of him, a bit closer to his face than he would have liked. Before he could voice his discomfort, however, the boy suddenly raised a fist, and cocked it back.

Nigel was in the middle of relaxing his shoulder muscles when he noticed Infinity flying right by him and slamming into the wall. The bald boy looked from the crumpled mass of diplomat to the smirking blond princess with a disapproving gaze. "Numbuh 4! That was wrong!"

"But it felt so right," Wally deviously chuckled as he dusted off his knuckles. As he caught Numbuh Infinity slowly getting to his feet, he snorted. "That'll learn ya!"

Numbuh Infinity normally took the moral high ground in most situations, but that didn't mean he was above going for the low blow. "It's fitting you're dressed like a princess since you obviously hit like one."

Wally's eyes widened before narrowing into silts. "I'M ONLY DRESSED LIKE THIS BECAUSE OF YOUR STUPID PLAN!"

"It's not my stupid plan, I only play a stupid part in it."

"I DON'T CARE! YOU'RE THE ONE WHO GOT ME INTO THIS MESS!"

"He has a point, Numbuh Infinity," Nigel spoke up. But while he agreed with Wally, that didn't mean he would let the boy loose to inflict bodily harm on Infinity. "Something obviously got lost in translation back there. What happened? What did you make Numbuh 4 agree to?"

"Why don't you tell me, and we'll all know," Infinity grumbled as he straightened out his robes. Just because they weren't his clothes didn't mean they should be so mistreated. "I'm not above admitting I've made a mistake, it's just it doesn't happen that often."

Wally growled, "This whole mission would beg ta differ."

"I thought we were affirming Yal'see's stance on her treaty with the Kids Next Door, but that's not the case. They shouldn't have brought you back to her quarters and they certainly shouldn't be preparing for some grand event out there."

"He's right," Nigel nodded. "On the way here, we noticed everyone was getting ready for something. What just don't know what."

Wally childishly stomp at the ground. "Doesn't anyone know what the heck is going on?"

"You fools!" came the voice of the room's unexpected guest. The boys were startled when the door was kicked open and First-Born Prince Yul'sha himself came barging in. The teenager appeared as if he would bring down an unspeakable wrath down on the three unsuspecting operatives. "You've ruined everything! Do you have any idea what you've just done?"

"I've just about had it with this entire country!" Nigel roared, pulling out a weapon from who-knows-where. "You better give us some answers, teenager. What have you done?"

"Me? I've tried to stop this all from happening!" Yul'sha proclaimed.

Nigel grinned. "Ah ha! So you admit you've been trying to get the adults to abandon Yal'see's treaty!"

The prince seemed ready to blow a fuse. "THIS MEETING HAS NOTHING TO DO ABOUT MY SISTER'S TREATY!"

The three blinked, Nigel lowering his weapon a bit. "What?"

"This meeting was about my sister's arranged marriage, which you children just agreed to go along with!"

"…What?"

"Exactly," another voice spoke from the door. The children and the prince all turned to see a platoon of elite ice cream men blocking the door. At the head of the squad was none other than Mr. Boss, looking all too pleased with himself as he dipped the ash of his cigar into the floor. "And it wouldn't have been possible without the Kids Next Door. Thanks for the help, suckers."

"…What!?"

"Mr. Boss?" Infinity spluttered. He took a step back behind Nigel and Wally, whom were switching aim from all the new targets in the room and preparing for a fight, respectively. "What are YOU doing here?"

"I'm here for the wedding," the adult grinned, taunting waving an expensive looking envelope in the air. "What's the matter? You brats didn't get an invitation?"

"B-But there shouldn't even BE a wedding!" Nigel cried in protest. The poor sector leader was in shambles trying to piece it all together. "What's happening!?"

"Why don't you let prince-y over here get ya up to speed," Mr. Boss grumbled as he motioned towards Yul'sha. "Running his mouth is about the only thing the punk's good for."

Yul'sha sneered. "This Tasty Taste dog managed to pervert our scared traditions and fashion together a farce wedding between my sister and Second-Born Son Gur-tin of the Kola'ta family."

Nigel was having a difficult time following. "Wait, who are the Kola'ta family?"

Infinity interrupted to answer. "The Kola'ta are a rival family to the Tipuans. They used to run a sizable ice cream trading business that was only outshone by the Tipuans themselves."

Yul'sha nodded. "But that was before my family was able to buy out their business and absorbed the remains of their shattered ice cream empire into our own."

"Only thing is, the Kola'tas hold a grudge," Mr. Boss said as he used one of Yal'see's dolls to extinguish his cigar. "Unfortunate for you, but very profitable for me."

"Wait, you're allied with the Kola'tas?"

"Who says you brats get the monopoly on ice cream treaties?" the adult frowned. "But yeah, we cut a deal with them after that Yal'see brat screwed up Tasty Taste relations with the Tipuans. When we came to do business with them, the spoiled brat hired us a bad translator, and because of him, we ended up insulting their family name and got kicked out of the compound! Do you have any idea how frustrating it is to have all your hard worked botched because of some hack job of a translator?"

Nigel and Wally sent Numbuh Infinity dry glares, but said nothing out loud.

"We couldn't get near the Tipuans after that, but then the Kola'tas approached us with a deal. Working with them, we've managed to broker something of a 'peace' between families. Heh heh."

"The final nail my family's coffin was this wedding," Yul'sha finished for the man. "To ensure future peace with the Kola'tas, Yal'see is to be wed with the heir of the Kola'ta legacy, with Tasty Taste representatives paying for the event and acting as mediators."

Nigel shook his head. "I still don't understand. Why is Mr. Boss pushing for this wedding? Why all the secrecy?"

"Don't you get it, Numbuh 1?" Infinity growled, disgusted as he figured out the adult's angle. "Once Yal'see is married off, she'll have no more sway within the Tipuan family. Without her to speak for us, they'll cut off support for her treaty with the KND."

Yul'sha scoffed. "Even if they continue to support it, the treaty will not matter. Due to a heavily obscured fine print within the marriage contract I discovered, the Kola'ta family will assume control of all my family's ice cream operations once Yal'see is married!"

"Nosy little punk, aren't ya?" Mr. Boss grumbled. "But yeah, he's got it figured out. Which is why he's been a pain in my side ever since! He's done everything to make sure this deal doesn't fall through!"

Nigel turned his gaze to the prince. "Why not just tell your family about the contract?"

Yul'sha lowered his head, looking a tad ashamed. "I have…done things my family doesn't condone."

Nigel leaned towards Infinity. "What did he do?"

Infinity rolled his eyes. "He's the reason the country is currently run by a llama with a spitting problem. I'll leave the rest to your imagination."

"Combined with no evidence, it is my 'distrustful' word against Tasty Taste's sliver tongues," Yul'sha said. "With that in mind, I became desperate to save my family's name and my sister."

Something clicked within Infinity's mind, causing him to pinch the bridge of his nose. "It all makes sense now. The prince was working to make sure this sham of a treaty failed by keeping Yal'see safe and hidden away…and then we found her and delivered her right into their hands."

Mr. Boss slowly clapped. "Bravo!"

"That can't be right!" Nigel argued. "My sources claimed otherwise! How could we have been fed false information?"

Mr. Boss smirked as he stepped aside to reveal his accomplice. "Kids Next Door, meet your 'sources'."

Out from behind Mr. Boss came a grizzly of a man. Literally. The bulking figure marched up wearing a white lab coat with the sleeves torn asunder. Two fur-coated arms stretched out from the torn sleeves coming into a set of paws and claws replacing what should have been human hands. His scalp was barren apart from two crisp strands of auburn hair poking out, and a skinny beard of matching color sticking out from his chin.

Nigel blinked as he recognized the man, and then planted his face in his palm as he groaned. "Oh, not you…"

"That's right! It is I, Professor Triple Extra Large!" the madman crackled as he waved his mutated arms in the air triumphantly. He then pointed an extended claw in the kids' direction, grinning a broken smile. "And it was also me, using the amazing scientific powers of photo-shop and this thing called the 'internet', who fed you false data and information regarding the situation!" He then flashed an excited smile. "I also opened a Google Plus account."

Mr. Boss rolled his eyes at the scientist's antics. "Yeah, wasn't my idea to hire the loony, but he's had past experience feeding you idiots false information. So with his help, we were able to trick you brats into 'rescuing' the princess and bring her straight to us."

Infinity gave Nigel a shrewd look. "Excellent work there, Numbuh 1."

"How was I…I thought that…" Nigel fumbled, utterly shamed that he had been duped by the Professor. Again. "B-But why would you even be helping them at all, Professor? You're not even a part of Tasty Taste!"

"Of course I'm not!" the Professor seemed appalled by the implication. "Haven't you been listening? Their business strategies are downright desperate and evil! I just agreed to do this because once they gain control of the Tipuan trading empire, they'll send me all the ice cream resources I need to create the world's most perfect snow cone! Ah ha ha ha ha!"

"So…you would never normally work with them?"

"Nope!" the Professor nodded proudly. "No matter what they offered me!"

"But you ARE working for them…because they offered you resources!"

"Hey…shut up."

"'Sides," Mr. Boss intervened, "he's got a license to marry people here in this country, so he's the acting High Priest to serve as a neutral party in this wedding."

Wally rose a brow at that little fact. "Why do you have an Ubekian marriage license?"

"For science."

"Wait a minute," Mr. Boss' eyes widened the moment he heard Wally speak. He looked over towards the boy, only now just realizing he wasn't who he originally thought he was. "That's not the princess!"

"Er, t-that's right! WE fooled YOU! Ha ha!" Nigel laughed, pulling Wally's makeshift wig off. "This is really Numbuh 4! The real princess is somewhere safe and sound."

The Professor was confused. "Why is he dressed up like the princess?"

Wally slumped, being subjected to complete and utter humiliation right in front of their sworn enemies. "Because my life sucks."

"Either way," Nigel drew attention back to himself, "WE win!"

"No, we don't," Infinity groaned, garnering a puzzled gaze from Nigel. "Once the officials find out one of our operatives impersonated Princess Yal'see, the Tipuans will be insulted and the treaty will be off for sure." The boy sighed, wondering how he managed to be in the center of the second worst political scandal in KND History. "That's not even considering what would happen if they found out Yal'see is in a Brain Freeze Coma."

Yul'sha, who had been plotting how to break out of the room until now, did a double take. "My sister is in a what now?"

"Uh, boss?" one of the more curious Ice Cream Men spoke up. "Does that mean the wedding is off?"

"Do I pay you to ask questions?" Mr. Boss snapped, causing the guard to calm up. The agitated adult scratched at his chin. He needed to marry off this Yal'see brat, but now thanks to Sector V, she still was out of his reach. Nearly close to having a conniption at the thought of failure, he turned to the Professor for answers. "Well? How the heck do we salvage this?"

"Sir, I am a mad scientist, not a politician," the Professor huffed. "I'm only here to marry people and get my resources."

"Resources you won't get if this wedding is canceled!"

"Oh, a conundrum then." The Professor's eyes crossed as he hunkered down, thinking of a way to salvage the operation. Suddenly, it hit him as he snapped his claws. "No one outside of this room is aware that the boy isn't Yal'see, so as long as he continues the charade, I can marry them…even though I'd be in extreme violation of the oath I took when I got my license."

Nigel frowned as he and Infinity stepped in front of Wally. "And if he doesn't go along with your sick plan?"

The Professor shrugged. "Then he faces capital punishment for impersonating a royal Ubekian figure."

"And what's the capital punishment?"

"Summary execution by firing squad."

Mr. Boss smirked. "Looks like you're gonna take your little cross-dressing act out there or get turned into Swiss cheese there, bucko."

"Now wait just a minute," Infinity interrupted. "This is bound to fail either way! He can't possibly keep pretending forever. They'll find out eventually!"

"Once the wedding is over and the contract is signed, it won't matter," the adult chortled. "If it's one thing I love more than kicking you brats to the curve, it's exploiting a loophole."

"Forget it!" Wally shouted. "I'd rather go ahead and get shot now than go out there and get MARRIED!"

"Yeah, I get that feeling," Mr. Boss solemnly nodded before glaring. "But you don't have a choice!"

"Oh yeah? Well then–"

"Numbuh 4…"

Wally froze at Nigel's tone of voice. The blond then looked disbelievingly back to his sector leader. There was no way he wanted him to… "Numbuh 1…y-you can't be serious!"

"Just…" Nigel hesitantly began. He rose his hands as the guards surrounded him and Infinity, and sent Wally the most apologetic look he could muster. "Just play along for now, for your own sake. We'll…we'll think of something."

"Go do your thinking outside, time is money," Mr. Boss snapped. He faced he guards and proceeded to give out tasks. "Throw the two brats outside the compound and make sure they stay out. The rest of you lock the prince punk up in his room and make sure he doesn't get out until the ceremony is over."

Yul'sha struggled as the guards dragged him, Nigel, and Infinity out of the room. "You can't do this!"

"Of course I can, I got diplomatic immunity," Mr. Boss crackled as the riff-raff were tossed back. He looked back to Wally, who looked angered yet resigned, then faced the Professor and harshly spat, "You make sure that brat is ready to go when the wedding starts, and make sure no officials find out we're duping them. That clear?"

The Professor crossed his furry arms. "You know, if I wasn't under your employ, I'd point out how underhanded your plan is. That, and ask for a sample of your DNA."

"Geez, now you sound like my wife," Mr. Boss grumbled as he left the room. Now alone with the boy, the Professor turned to Wally with a giddy expression. He then rushed towards the princess's wardrobe and began fiddling through every article of clothing Yal'see owned.

"Oh, don't worry, I'm sure everything will work out! Well, for us anyway, but I'll give you free snow cones for life as thanks for your forced service!"

"Wow," Wally droned as he laid back on the bed, contemplating just jumping out the window and hightailing it. "That's super."

"Why thank you!" the Professor gushed as he held up a few wedding gowns. "Now, are you a summer, or a winter?"

Does his business while he can~