Authors Note:I don't know why, but Jiro reminds me of Haruhi from The Melencholy of Haruhi Suzumiya (spelling?) in this chapter. By the way, his victory celebration is purely ripped off Lina Inverse from Slayers. Since he used to be an otaku, I felt it natural to give him characteristic of his favorite characters.
Episode 2: The Mysterious New Host or Jiro Gets Pushy
"Great news, everyone! We have a new member," announced Jiro as the three students got together.
"Incredible! Who is it, Jiro?" asked Marion excitedly. She wore the uniform this time, and the whole scene looked like a bunch of boys conversing after school.
"He's perfect, really…I'm surprised that I've discovered such a find," muttered Jiro to himself.
"Where it he, Jiro? " demanded Ichiro.
"I…don't know his name," said Jiro. Ichiro and Marion sweatdropped.
"Then how can he be a member if you don't know his name?" asked Ichiro skeptically.
"I might not know his name, but he's perfect…come with me," said Jiro, dragging a stunned Marion and Jiro through the halls of Ouran High School to some unknown destination.
Later
" Why are we hiding in the bushes?" asked Ichiro.
"Shhh…we're spying" whispered Jiro. They were hiding behind a group of bushes near the schools exit. The only people left were a couple of boys with camera equipment setting things up. A few girls from the school appeared later on, but they were dressed in casual clothes.
"Okay people. Lets take it from the third scene where Sakura and Keiko get killed by The Golden Bat" yelled one of the boys. Ichiro knew him from math class…he smelled like roasted newt all the time.
"One of these guys is our next host?" asked Ichiro, gesturing to the pasty-faced boys with the cameras.
"No…he should be here any moment," whispered Jiro. They watched as the movie got filmed. Apparently, these two girls were playing schoolmates that were being stalked by this murderer with a golden bat.
"Amazing…it's like porn with a horror subplot" commented Marion.
"I don't know…this golden bat character is pretty cool," said Jiro, munching on popcorn that came out of nowhere. At the end of the scene, the Golden bat character killed the two girls while they were making out after school. Marion apparently found that ridiculous and laughed loudly. Jiro shushed her, and she stopped.
"Pardon moi…the ending was quite ridiculous ' said Marion cheekily.
"That's a wrap!" said the self-proclaimed director. The two girls got up from their dying point and walked over to the bushes. Jiro let out a frustrated groan from never seeing the prospective host.
"So…weren't we good?" asked one of the girls.
"Sorry…couldn't tell" came a voice behind the group of hiding hosts. They looked to see where the voice came from, and they saw an extremely tall boy holding a camera. He was a lot more handsome than the rest of the crew, and if the blossoming black roses didn't peg him for hosthood, the swooning girls did.
" Oh Daisuke…we wish you could have heard us. We are really good actresses, which is why we made such convincing lesbians" chorused the girls.
"Hn" grunted the boy, turning off the camera. The girls sighed and walked away.
"Excuse me…but did you know we were here the entire time?" asked Marion.
"Yeah" said the tall boy, walking away. The two boys and one girl followed Daisuke.
"Why didn't you tell us to move and be quiet?" asked Ichiro.
"I was zooming in," said the boy, sounding a bit annoyed.
"Enough about that" said Jiro, pushing his way in front of the two. "My name is Suoh Jiro, and I'd like to welcome you to Ouran High Schools' Host Club. I'm the second-generation founder, and it's great to have you on the team" said Jiro, holding out his hand.
"Not interested," said Daisuke. He put the camera in its case and walked away.
"What do you mean 'not interested'? This can be the most enriching experience you'll ever have" ranted Jiro. Daisuke just stayed quiet and went to return the camera to the film club.
"Well…I'd consider that a defeat" commented Marion.
"Can we go home now?" asked Ichiro.
"We are not going home until he agrees to join," said Jiro with a firm calm to his voice.
"…" Went Ichiro. Whenever Jiro was calm, it meant he was serious. Jiro never gave up when he was serious…which meant Ichiro might not be home for a while.
Later
"This obsession you have is unhealthy, Jiro" said Marion sadly.
"I am going to ask you for the last time…will you join the Host Club?" said Jiro to Daisuke on the bus.
"This is the 137th last time you've asked him, Jiro. Give up" said Ichiro, slumping over his seat. It was starting to get dark, and Ichiro was so bored that he counted the "final offers" Jiro had.
"Who asked you?" snapped Jiro angrily, his brown hair disheveled for once. Daisukes' eye twitched, and he signaled that he wanted to get off. Jiro followed the tall boy, dragging Marion and Ichiro along. "I'm not going to leave you alone until you say 'yes', Yoshi Daisuke!" yelled Jiro, glad he asked Daisukes' name along the way. Ichiro sighed at his brothers' antics, but then noticed something quite significant: they were in a really shady neighborhood.
"Where the hell are we?" asked Ichiro.
"We're in the poor part of town," snapped Jiro. He stopped suddenly, ruminating on his previous words. "Hey…this means Daisuke must be at Ouran on scholarship" exclaimed Jiro.
"So?" asked Marion.
" Yoshi Daisuke…I, the second-generation founder of the Ouran Host Club am willing to pay you handsomely for attending!" yelled Jiro. Daisuke stopped before he entered the shabby home.
"Okay" said Daisuke. He disappeared into the house.
"Victory! We need one more host, and the club is open!" yelled Jiro, posing with a "V" sign.
"Wonderful…" groaned Marion sarcastically. She was too tired and annoyed to go along with Jiros' crazy plans.
"Can we go home now?" asked Ichiro
"Of course" said Jiro. He whipped out his cell phone and dialed the Suoh Emergency Limo. Being rich, handsome, and in the poor part of town was considered a emergency in Jiros' book
In The Car
"We should drop Marion at home first" said Jiro, his eyes closed, his body tired, but still talking. Marion fidgeted with her backpack.
"Err…why don't we turn this into a sleepover? That way, we can get to know each other better or something like that," said Marion, eyes out the window. Ichiro, who had a bit more energy than Jiro, felt she was hiding something.
"Sure, fine, whatever" mumbled Jiro before he fell asleep. Being serious was very taxing on the boy.
"Marion…" uttered Ichiro softly.
"Eh?" asked Marion.
"Why don't you go home? Your mother might get worried," said Ichiro. Marion sighed and grinned.
"It's okay…my mother lets me do things like this. She's not worried at all," said Marion. Ichiro was not convinced, but suspected Marion wouldn't tell him anytime soon.
"Okay" murmured Ichiro, sighing and leaning back in the comfortable seats. Marion followed suit, and they all rested in the car.
At Suoh Mansion…
"I am very disappointed in you two," said Tamaki to the twins." You should call before you go gallivanting out until unknown hours of the night"
"It's only 9:00," stated Ichiro.
"You didn't even call! Your mother had to call her friends at the police to make sure you weren't murdered or kidnapped. Okay, I suggested that she do that, but you made your mother and father very worried you two," ranted the blonde man as he finished with a big hug.
"Err…father" blurted Ichiro, uncomfortable with the hug, "have you meet…our friend Marion?" he finished. Tamaki Let go of his two sons and approached Marion.
"Ah…I see that my two sons have managed to make new friends. It's a pleasure to meet you," said Tamaki, bowing to Marion.
"It's good to meet you too. They never told me that they had a devilishly handsome father, though, so pardon if I get flustered," replied Marion.
"Interesting…so you've started to make gay friends? Good for you, boys. Befriending people with alternative lifestyles will keep you both culturally aware" said Tamaki, patting Marion on the back.
"Marion's' a girl" said Ichiro.
"Yeah…she's a cross dresser too. Isn't it cool?" added Jiro. Tamakis' eyes got wide, and he started to inspect Marion with an embarrassing amount of scrutiny.
"I see," said Tamaki, blushing too much for a man of his age. "I can't believe I'd make the same mistake again! She was so tall, and I was sure of it…" muttered the grown man as he sulked in the corner.
"I'm sorry you had to see that," said Ichiro sadly. They walked up the stairs toward Jiros' room
"Your father is so handsome," commented Marion in awe, her face a bit red.
"Of course…where do you think we inherited our good looks?" asked Jiro dramatically. He opened the door to his room, and they all sat on his bed.
"Well sure you two are handsome, but I'm sorry to say that your father is an extreme case of the word" answered Marion. Ichiro sweatdropped.
"But…he's such a childish moron sometimes" said Ichiro.
"But he's so pretty that I'm willing to forgive him" rebutted Marion.
"H…how can his behavior be forgivable? He confused you for a man" stuttered Ichiro in a sudden panic.
"That's the point, right?" said Marion.
"Ahem!" said Jiro, breaking the debate. " Before we get down to real business, I'd like to inquire where Marion is sleeping tonight"
"Humph…probably in the same bed with mother and father" grumbled Ichiro.
"Is that possible? He didn't seem like one to like ménage à trios, but I am not one to complain"
"Your only 14" warned Jiro.
"Ah, but a girl can dream" sighed Marion.
"That…that is horrible!" said Ichiro.
"Anyway…why don't I sleep in Jiros' room?" asked Marion. She then yawned a bit.
"Don't get sleepy yet, Marion! We've got so much to plan for," said Jiro excitedly.
Meanwhile, Downstairs…
"Yes…it's nice to see you too, Tamaki," said Haruhi after they disengaged from the passionate kiss. "I see that Ichiro and Jiro made it home"
"It's so wonderful! I was almost sick with worry, but they managed to return to their father unharmed. We should celebrate" triumphantly announced Tamaki.
"I don't know…it was a long day at work…really, it was" groaned Haruhi. Tamaki pulled up a chair and started to give Haruhi a shoulder massage.
"What is wrong, Haruhi? Do you want a cup of tea? I could draw you a bath…or is this back massage sufficient?" asked Tamaki.
"I'll take the back massage and hear about anything that doesn't involve the legal system," muttered Haruhi
"Wonderful!" chirped Tamaki. " Well…I had only one meeting today, and it was on a golf course. I won, of course, but I think that my subordinates let me win. Ichiro and Jiro made it home, as you know, and they introduced me to their new friend. Her name is Marion, and she is really cute. They went up to Jiros' room, and I haven't heard from the three of them since. Oh dear! You've got so many knots"
"What? Do you know this girl?" asked Haruhi in a panic. She got up from the chair and took off her red blazer.
"Well, not really…she's just a friend from school," admitted Tamaki like a child in class that didn't know the answer to 11 + 31.
"Oh boy…she must be one of those Ouran Girls…I think I'm going to check up on them," said Haruhi. She has always found the girls at Ouran High School to be unsafe for being left alone in a room with handsome boys. She quickly ran up the stairs and knocked on Jiros' door. "Jiro…it's your Mother. Are you okay in there?"
"Umm…Ichiro and I are playing a game with a friend " said Jiro nervously.
"I need to speak with you…I hope I can come in and meet your…friend," said Haruhi, not liking the implications of Jiros' nervous behavior. The door opened and Jiro, thankfully, was in his school clothes.
"Yes, mother?" asked Jiro.
"Can I come in?" asked Haruhi.
"Of course" said Jiro, sweatdropping. Haruhi entered, and he saw a disturbing image. This girl she didn't recognize was wearing one of Jiros' old shirts and a pair of pink boxers.
"Who is this?" asked Haruhi. She did not know why, but this girl seemed to irk her subconsciously.
"This is Marion Beaumont. She is a first-year student," said Ichiro.
"She's having a sleepover with us" said Jiro.
"…. Where is she sleeping?" asked Haruhi, sweatdropping.
"With me" chirped Jiro.
"No she isn't" declared Haruhi.
"Why not? " whined Jiro.
"I…I think she should sleep in the guest room" said Haruhi.
"You had a guest room?" asked Marion. She glared at Jiro, who never mentioned that tidbit of information.
"Yes. We have a guest room. You're a guest, right? You all should go to bed anyway…it's getting late, and you all have school," said Haruhi, dragging Marion out of Jiros' room.
"But we were discussing the cl-game" said Jiro as his mother and friend disappeared.
"Yeah…it's getting late. I think I'll finish my homework and go to bed," said Ichiro. He stood up and walked out of his brothers' room. Jiro sighed sadly.
Much later
"I think we should spend more time with the children…they are starting to have questionable friends" said Haruhi in her bed.
"You mean Marion? She seems very nice," said Tamaki. He stroked his wifes' hair to calm her down.
"I saw her in Jiros' bed dressed in his old T-shirt and pink boxers. I think she…well…might have stripped in front of them. You know how some of the girls at Ouran can be…she could be trying to make an advance on them. It could be…a bad influence," ranted the woman. She turned her head away from Tamaki. He was distracting her with his hand in her hair.
"I heard from Jiro that she cross dresses. If she's anything like you, I'm sure everything will be fine" said Tamaki gently. Haruhi sighed.
"Yes…we really need to do better," said Haruhi. She knew being a lawyer would take away some of the time she'd have with the children, but now that her practice was taking on more important cases, she's found herself staying later nights. When she found out that she was pregnant, she and Tamaki agreed that they would both be the parental figures, and nobody would have to fully take on two parental responsibilities. Currently, Haruhi sometimes felt immense guilt over not being around as much. Her thoughts were broken as Tamaki rolled her over towards his direction.
"Haruhi, you have nothing to worry about. You have been the most perfect mother, wife, and woman any man could ask for. We are doing our best to fill this house with love, and it pains me to see you worry about being good enough. You are good enough…you're perfect" said Tamaki with the rare intimate passion to his voice saved for his wife.
"I guess so," said Haruhi. She sighed deeply, and Tamaki kissed her forehead.
"Come on…just relax. Cest la vie, right?" said Tamaki, a cheeky grin gracing his features. Haruhi chuckled. Tamaki Suoh a significantly aged man still had the grin of a teenager.
"I hope that Ouran Girl didn't melt at the sight of you," mused Haruhi.
"Ah, but she fell for me. It's refreshing to know that teenagers appreciate my classic beauty," said the man, lying with his hands under his head.
"Right…" said Haruhi skeptically. Her thoughts turned to Ichiro and Jiros' friend. She seemed like trouble for the two boys, and it would be best that she kept an eye on her.