So this is chapter two! This is set maybe two weeks since the last chapter. Also from now on I will be updating every Wednesday in honour of Offspring Night :)

"Hey Neens," Patrick says, wrapping his arms around me, "Kim tells me you had a big day! Seven babies!"

"Yeah, eight in fact!" I say smiling up at Patrick, "there was twins!"

"Jeez, you out did yourself today, a big last day! Sure you're up to dinner tonight with your family?" Patrick asks, squeezing my hand as we walk up to the car park.

"Yes, it's Jimmy's birthday, it's just at Mum's place, it'll be fine, I'll be fine!"

I place my hand on my large, very pregnant belly.

Patrick looks downs, and gives a small smile, "kicking?"

"No, but because I've been on my feet all day," I add hastily when I see his worried look.

He nods, and we get in the car.

Dinner is normal with my family, or as normal as my family is. It's loud, everyone laughing and shouting at the same time.

The whole time my hand is on my belly.

No movement.

Why is there no movement?

Patrick is holding my other hand and smiles at me, before laughing at something someone said.

Shit, shit, and shit.

Okay, calm down Nina, you've been at work all day, you delivered eight babies, you have been on your feet, running around…

Patrick, shit.

What am I supposed to do?

God you can freak yourself out, or you can go back to the hospital, and get an ultrasound, Nina!

Patrick has they keys, fuck!

You have to tell him.

"Patrick," I whisper as I pull him away from the table, "We'll just be right back," I say to everyone else.

I pull him into the first room in the hallway and shut the door.

"Patrick," I breathe in heavily.

I bite my lip.

I gulp.

"There's no movement, the baby's not moving," even as I say it, tears prick into my eyes.

Patrick steps back and looks away, blinking back his own tears.

"How long?" He finally says, bitterness and terror etched into his voice.

"How long?" I echo.

"How long since the baby last moved?" He still doesn't look at me.

"This morning, when I left for work. You kissed me then,"

"Then I felt your belly and told the baby and see it later, and it kicked in response" Patrick finishes my sentence off for me.

"It's probably nothing, but I think we should go to St. Francis, get and ultrasound," I say.

Patrick nods, and turns to leave.

We march down the hallway and straight out to the car.

They won't even notice that we left.

Patrick drives fast, and I just sit, my hands over my belly.

Please don't be dead baby, please, please, please! Your daddy needs you, I need you, we love you.

We reach St. Francis and hurry up the steps, our hands clutching one another.

Hoping, praying.

When we reach the obstetrics ward, we bump straight into Kim.

"Hey! What are you two doing here, don't you have some sort of Proudman family gathering going on tonight?"

"I- I can't feel the baby," I feel like I'm about to break, every part of me feels like glass and jelly and the same time.

"Shit, I'm sure it's fine, Nina, come on," Kim says matter-of-factly. She leads us into the closest ultrasound suite.

I lie down on the bed, and pull up my top as Patrick rubs the gel in.

Martin appears at the doorway concern on his face, he starts up the machine, and I lay there, my heart beating, my hand encased in both of Patrick's.

Martin starts the ultrasound, and my whole body tenses up.

Please be okay baby, please.

Our baby is up there on the screen, no heartbeat.

"The cord," Martin whispers.

The cord is around our baby's neck.

Just like Gus.

Tears slide down my cheek.

No.

Why?!

I sob, my body breaks.

Patrick stands up, and walks to the other side of the room.

"Patrick!" I cry, the tears are now coming thick and fast.

"FUCK!" He yells, kicking the bin in the corner, "fuck fuck FUCK FUCK FUCK!" He kicks it with each word, before crouching down and crying.

"Patrick, Patrick, Patrick!"

"Nina!" Patrick yells, shaking me awake, "Nina!"

"Huh, what?" I say, disorientated, rubbing my eyes.

It was just a dream.

You didn't loose the baby. You're only a few weeks pregnant.

"You were having a bad dream, you're still crying. Are you alright?" He asks, concerned.

Patrick. Gus. The baby.

"Yeah, yeah," I mutter, still slightly disoriented.

Don't tell Patrick.

"You said my name, and Kim's, we didn't have a really terrible threesome, did we?" He flashes his cheeky smile, an attempt to lighten the mood.

I laugh, but I'm still too shaken by the dream.

We lie in silence, side by side.

Shit, he's wondering what the dream was about, tell him Nina, just tell him what it was about.

I roll over to face him, "We, um, were…. going sky-diving!"

What?!

What am I saying?!

Patrick laughs, amused, "Skydiving?"

"Yep," I say, "with Kim!"

"That was bad dream? Going sky-diving with Kim?" The corner of his mouth twitches, his eyes laugh.

Shit, think, Nina, think!

"Nope, that was the fun part!"

What, just stop talking!

"The sad part was, um, you…. got eaten by a shark!" I finish, tripping over my own words.

Smooth, Nina, real smooth.

"A shark?"

"Yep, it just jumped out of the ocean, and ate you both up." I say, completed frazzled.

Patrick raises his eyebrows, and gives me a quick kiss, "I feel like some pancakes, you want some?" He asks.

"Yes, sounds good, I'll just relax here if that's okay," I say, trying to reduce my awkwardness, though I feel like it's not working.

"Ohhhhh-kayy…" Patrick replies, still bemused.

You were right. Not working.

"Just tired," I say, as casually as I can manage.

"Yeah, that's alright, I'll go make them now." He kisses me again and heads downstairs.

I listen to him working in the kitchen.

I can't tell him, he'll just do his shut down thing.

I don't want to open that bag, not yet anyway.

We had discussed Gus since our pregnancy, briefly and with Patrick subtly trying to end the conversation on every sentence.

Once the smell of pancakes has successfully filled the house, I get dressed and walk slowly down the stairs.

Just act normal; don't even talk about your weird dream.

I did it.

A whole day out with Patrick, and acted completely normal, post 'baby-losing dream'.

"Sorry, I didn't realise Billie would make us so late back," I say as we step into the car.

Billie had called us while we were out and made us come and pick up two boxes of baby stuff, her old clothes and Mick's old clothes.

"I don't even know why she gave us old clothes, it's not like we're gonna wear them," I babble on as Patrick puts the boxes on the back seat, then comes in the front to drive

"Nina, are you alright? You've been talking non-stop all day, but never really, about anything," Patrick says calmly.

I have been acting normal!

Shit, I haven't.

"No, no I'm fine, just happy!" I wave my hands in the air to prove how happy I am.

Nope, overdoing it Nina, stop, now.

"Just, a fly!" I say, brushing an imaginary fly away from my head.

"Nina," Patrick says, looking at me seriously.

God you're always the one who says you need to talk about this stuff, Nina!

Just tell him!

"I dreamt," I start, I take a deep breath.

Just say it!

"I dreamt that we lost the baby," I say, unsure of what is coming next.

Patrick looks away, and that wounded, hurt, sadden expression dances across his face.

"That's what everything's been about then?" Patrick asks.

I nod, "Patrick, It's just…" but I trail off, not sure where I was going.

It's just what, Nina?

"You don't think I haven't thought about this too Nina?!" Patrick says, quietly, but anger subtly lacing every word.

"That's the whole point, Patrick! I don't want you to spend my pregnancy brooding over Gus! That's why I didn't want to tell you," I feel annoyed, I was only trying to avoid this, not make it worse.

This time the wounded-hurt-sad expression doesn't just dance across his face, it stays there, sitting down stubbornly.

He continues to drive, his sad eyes on the road, ignoring my answer.

"This is exactly what I meant Patrick! I can't read your fucking mind!"

Patrick pulls the car over.

Shit, please don't get out of the car.

"You can't expect me not to think about him, Nina, okay? I'm going too!" Patrick snaps, all subtly forgotten.

"I know, I don't want you to not think about him, that's not what I'm saying! But I want you to be able to enjoy my pregnancy, and enjoy our child, without,"

Don't say it, Nina.

"Comparing them to Gus." I finish.

Patrick doesn't say anything, and this time I don't push it.

Shit Nina, shit.

When we get home, we leave the boxes in the car and head inside.

"I'm going for a run," Patrick says, not meeting my eye.

"So, we're not going to sort this out?" I ask sarcastically, glaring at him, leaning against the bench.

"What the fuck do you want me to say, Nina?!" Patrick asks.

"I want you to say something!" I say, "I want you to reply and not just walk away!"

Patrick glares at me, "I'm going for a run."

He changes into his shorts, and heads outside, as I stand next to the bench, unsure of what to do next.

By the time Patrick comes home it is almost nine-thirty. I'm in the downstairs bath, and almost call him in, bath sex would probably fix the problem, and while that seems appealing, I let him head upstairs.

I listen to the sound of the upstairs shower, and I get out of the bath when it stops. I don't head upstairs, but sit down on the couch, rethinking what I could of done differently, or what I could do now.

I could go upstairs completely naked and we could have sex. Doesn't really fix the problem though, but god, sex would be good right now.

I could demand he give an answer. But I don't want to make this worse than it already is.

I could call some wise person, and get him to talk through his pain. Mmm, need something more realistic.

I could call him a coward. Nope, once again, you are trying to fix the problem, not make it worse, Nina.

I stay downstairs and text Billie.

Five minutes no reply.

Ten minutes no reply.

Half an hour no reply.

An hour no reply.

I wake with a jolt, as I almost fall off the couch.

I look at the time, almost midnight.

I creep up the stairs, to find Patrick asleep in bed. I pull off my clothes, and put on my pyjamas, and slide into bed, nestling my head into his chest.

His arms slide around me, hugging me.

Not asleep then.

I sniff in his body wash, and stroke his chest.

I look up at him, into his dark eyes.

Say something Nina, or at least kiss him!

After a while I look away, and snuggle back into him.

His grip tightens.

I trace his chest with my fingers, and eventually fall asleep.