Chapter 2: Prob'ly Wouldn't Be This Way
I prob'ly wouldn't be this way
I prob'ly wouldn't hurt this bad
Kitty opened bleary eyes to the world. Laying flat on her back, she stared up at the ceiling for a moment, then turned her head to stare out the window. It was sunny, and beautiful, and calm. But the sunshine seemed out of place, and she felt like she should be in the dark, running, surrounded by debris and screams. She should be at Alcatraz, she realized. Kitty reached up to touch her cheek. It was still wet with the flow of her tears. And then she remembered; she'd had another nightmare about the battle. She turned her head, facing into her bedroom, away from the light.
I never pictured every minute without you in it
Oh you left so fast
John had been there. Kitty crossed her arms over her chest, and curled into a ball. John was in all her nightmares. Kitty closed her eyes for three heartbeats, then forced herself to throw off her bedspread and pad into her bathroom. When she'd graduated high school in the spring, Storm had moved her into one of the larger rooms, so she could have a little more privacy as she developed her adult life. Kitty had always appreciated the solitude, especially as it became apparent that her nightmares wouldn't be ending any time soon. Quickly shedding her pajamas in the cool morning air, she reached into the shower and turned the water up until the bathroom was filled with steam. She stepped inside and let the water relax her taught muscles. Kitty tilted her head back and let the stream wash her tears away.
Everybody thinks I've lost my mind
But I just take it day by day
Kitty leaned back against the kitchen counter, sipping her hot chocolate. She'd never been much of a coffee drinker. Wearing her favorite blue hoodie and jeans, she finally felt comfortable; the after-horrors of her dreams were wearing off the longer she was awake. Rogue strolled into the kitchen, wearing the green tank top Bobby had bought her the day after she'd come back to the mansion.
"Hey Kitty," she drawled with a grin.
Kitty smiled. "Hey."
Rogue opened the refrigerator door and poked her head inside. "Ain't there anythang ta eat around hear?" she asked.
"There's Lucky Charms in the cupboard above the stove," Kitty told her, motioning with her cocoa mug.
Rogue shook her head as she straightened, holding a bagel. "Ah don't lahk all that sugah in the morning. "Ah'll just have this," holding the bagel up.
Kitty nodded and took another sip. Rogue came and hoisted herself up to sit on the island in the middle of the kitchen. She took a bit of her bagel.
"So," she said thoughtfully as she swallowed, "how are you doing? You look a little tired this morning."
Kitty looked up at her friend. "I'm fine," she replied skeptically, unsure of where Rogue was taking this conversation.
"Well, ya know if ya evah want to talk to someone about what happened, Ah mean, Ah know Ah wasn't there, but Ah'd be happy ta listen if ya need me to."
"No, I'm fine really. I just had a late night, that's all." Kitty never told anyone about her nightmares; they'd assign her a shrink for sure if she knew about those.
"Ah mean, Ah know it can't be tha easiest thang ta talk about, and these thangs always take time ta cope with,"
"I'm fine, Rogue," Kitty cut her off, with a tone that let the other girl know Kitty would brook no arguments.
"Alright, Kitty. Whatevah ya say."
Rogue slid down from the island and walked out of the kitchen, throwing a worried look back at Kitty that made it clear she didn't believe her claims.
Kitty sighed heavily and set her hot chocolate on the counter beside her, her good mood completely ruined. All the images and sounds from her dreams threatened to overrun her mind. She reached into her hoodie pocket and pulled out her cell phone, punching in "1" on her speed dial.
"Hello?"
"Can you meet me at the Starbucks?" Kitty asked softly.
"I'll see you in twenty minutes." Immediate and reassuring.
Kitty hung up the phone and went to grab her car keys.
Sitting at the wrought iron café table, Kitty looked around for her best friend.
"Hey!" a voice called.
Kitty turned to face the girl walking towards her, and let a real smile blossom across her face. "Hey!" she responded with a wave.
At five feet six, with gorgeous curves, a classically beautiful face, long, dark dark dark red hair, and bright blue eyes, Lilly was Kitty's physical opposite in almost every way. The two had starting writing to each other through a pen-pal program when they were in seventh grade. Their friendship had grown until now they were as close as sisters, and were each others' almost sole companions. Lilly slid gracefully into the seat across from Kitty.
"What's wrong?" she asked bluntly. Lilly's refusal to beat around the bush was one of Kitty's favorite traits about her friend.
"I had a nightmare last night," Kitty told her.
Lilly leaned forward. "About Alcatraz?"
"Yeah," Kitty murmured. "I guess I was crying in my sleep, too. I woke up and my face was soaked."
Lilly sat back again and sighed. She looked out at the people and then looked at Kitty again. "Kitty," she said gently. "You're not telling me everything. What else is bothering you?"
For the first time since the battle, Kitty looked someone square in the eye, and told them everything, the words and tears just spilling out of her. The sadness, all the nightmares, being patronized by everyone around her, everything. And…
"It's John. I can't stop thinking about him. I saw him there, at Alcatraz. It doesn't make any sense! We didn't get along at all when he was at the school. And then he just left, and it never really seemed real, I kept thinking it was just some big joke and he'd come walking back through that front door and he'd start being a jerk and throwing paper wads at the back of my head during class. But then I saw him there, standing with Magneto, and he looked so different, and mean and cold, and, and, and I…" Kitty had to stop and wipe roughly at her eyes with her sleeve. She looked at Lilly. "You're the telepath, what's the matter with me? Not the post traumatic stress junk, I know about all that, but why can't I stop thinking about John?!" She wiped at her eyes again.
"Kitty, he was your classmate. He was part of your life at the mansion, whether you liked him or not." Lilly sighed and smiled sadly at her friend. "You're so empathetic, Kitty. You feel sad for him, sad that things happened the way they did. You can't accept the fact that he chose to leave and become one of the bad guys. Your big heart's probably the same reason you're having so much trouble getting over Alcatraz; you've never seen suffering like that before."
Kitty stared at her friend. "Y'know, for someone who claims to hate book learning, you sure do know a lot about psychology."
Lilly grinned and shook her head ruefully. "No, I know my best friend. And besides, I have to know a little bit about how peoples' minds work or I'd never be able to make sense of all the voices in my head."
Kitty smiled back through the tears. "Well, thanks for letting this voice vent a little bit. To finally be able to tell someone, especially about John," she paused, "that helps. There's no one at the mansion that I can talk to about him."
"That's what I'm here for." Lilly tilted her head. "So you feel better?"
"Much."
"Good. Now listen to me Kitty," Lilly continued. "You've got to put this guy out of your mind, don't let him get to you. He's not worth it, I promise."
They were silent for a few minutes as they ordered a couple of Italian sodas. When they were about halfway through their drinks, and Kitty's tears had finally stopped, she looked up at Lilly.
"How have your powers been doing lately?" she asked. "Are you still having trouble controlling them?"
Lilly groaned. "With three inherited mutations and a natural mutation of my own? I don't think I'm ever gonna be able to completely control them." She looked at Kitty sharply. "But you're not gonna start feeling sad about me, too." She stood up and reached down to pull Kitty up with her. "C'mon. We're gonna go shopping until I hear you laugh, and you've got something super sexy to wear when for Girls' Night Out on Next Friday," she told her laughing.
Kitty laughed too, and eagerly jogged down the street with her friend, hair flying behind them.
Five hours late the two girls were saying good-bye next to Kitty's car. Lilly couldn't hug her friend anymore; these days, any physical contact made it even harder to control her mutations. Lilly had told Kitty once that the influx of thoughts and emotions into her mind distracted her, sometimes with disastrous results.
"So you'll call me the next time you have one of the dreams?" Lilly asked her.
"Yes, I'll call you," Kitty replied.
"No matter what time it is?"
"Even if I'm calling in the middle of Gilmore Girls, I'll call."
"You promise?"
Kitty grinned. "Yes, Lilly, I promise. You're such a good friend; I always feel better after we hang out."
"And you're the sweetest person a girl could ever want to know, sometimes I think you could convert any cynic. Even me."
The girls laughed as Kitty climbed into her car and drove away. Lilly stood for a moment and watched the taillights grow smaller. When she couldn't see them anymore, she turned and walked into the darkness.
Two hours later, Lilly was walking through a forest, making her way towards a certain tree. When she found it, she raised her hand and a large metal plate lifted up from the roots of the tree with a groan, revealing a metal staircase leading underground. The plate moved back into place behind her, with another groan. As she descended the stairs into a large all-metal room, Pyro and Juggernaut looked up from the computer at the desk.
"About time you got back," Pyro told her, immediately turning his attention back to the screen. "Everyone's been alerted. Now it's just a waiting game." He straightened and folded his arms across his chest.
Lilly kept walking across the room, towards her suite of rooms in the bunker.
"Hey Pyro," she said, not bothering to look at him.
"Yeah?"
"You're a jerk."
She disappeared in the shadows of the long hallway leading out of the planning room. Juggernaut and Pyro stared after her.
"What'd you do to her?" Juggernaut asked incredulously.
"Danged if I know," Pyro muttered callously. "Now come on, we've got to go over the final drafts of the plan, make sure we haven't missed anything."
Kitty settled herself into bed, pulling the blankets up over her shoulders. She reached up and turned off the bedside lamp on her dresser. She curled up under the covers and closed her eyes, smiling as she thought about the outfit Lilly had helped her pick out. Shopping with Lilly was always a riot. She couldn't wait for their Girls' Night Out next Friday… Kitty slept without dreaming.
Ok, I've stayed up 'til about 3:30 in the morning working on this. I couldn't rest until Chapter 2 was up and finished! Hope y'all like it; please read and review!