A/N: Yay I'm actually updating stories! Yeah... anyway I'm just waiting for the poll results for Pen Pals so I decided how about I update the stories I never seem to update. So here you go my 3 followers... shit. Anyway I think this chapter is hilarious because... well you'll see.
NOTE TO READERS:
Normal writing is talking
Bold is the lovely narrator of the story(a.k.a me)
Day Two: Victim: Itachi
Situation: Itachi get tormented by fan girls.
Summary: While reading a persistent fan girl tries to engage in a conversation with Itachi.
The quiet Uchiha (Wow real specific) sat and read because he is awesome and awesome people read m'kay? This man was at peace because any good book does that, makes even murderers and Akatsuki members peaceful. The problem was this man was attractive, and I mean Sex-ay. You might be wondering how could someone sexy have problems, because trust me that's what I'm thinking. Well he does okay so shove it. His problem was fan girls, yes fan girls. Now what could possibly be wrong with a fan girl? I mean if you're reading this you probably are one. Hell the fact that I'm writing this pretty much makes me one. So what's wrong with a fan girl?
Everything.
No but we can be annoying, and I did mention he was reading.
So here begins our story.
This man was peacefully reading when along came a not so peaceful fan girl.
"OH MY GOD! I LOVE YOU! MARRY ME!" Screamed the fan girl despite the fact that the man did not know her. Do not scrutinize the poor girl though she has every right to ask. I mean people order brides, have arranged marriages and much more awful things with people they have never met before and this girl had the courage to ask this man such a personal question.
The man did not see it this way though, he instead ignored the girls squeals.
"I JUST LOVE YOU SO MUCH! I LOVE YOUR CHARACTER AND EVERYTHING YOU"VE DONE! AND.." The fan girl continued with her fan girlling ways and described how she loved the mans character and wished he was rea...wait WHOA WHOA... I am so sorry, there supposed to be a fourth wall right about here. Let me fix that. There we go, all better.
The man continued to ignore the girl. You could not see it but he was becoming annoyed.
"Will you go out with me?" Begged the fan girl. The man gave in and responded with a simple,
"Hn."
What...What the hell does that mean?
...
Okay I have now received translation. Please note that this is a very delicate language and the fan girl doesn't understand a word of it. Also note these translations may not be correct.
The "Hn" above translates to... lets see. I believe it means, "I have genital herpes"
...I am positive that's what it translates to. Moving on.
"PLEASE HAVE MY CHILDREN!" Shouted the persistent fan girl.
"Hn" Your absolutely accurate translation: "What do I look like to you a whore, you dim witted fool men can not carry children!"
"AND I WILL KILL ANY BITCH THAT GETS IN YOUR WAY!" WHOA this girl is devoted. It's not every day you find a girl who will kill for a made up character.
... Please wait while we repair the fourth wall... Thank You.
"Hn." TRANSLATION! : "Bitch I shall slappeth your face if you don't stop talking. Who want to deal with whoever gets in my way then deal with yourself you demon"
This story does not end but rather... yeah no it ends... after a couple weeks the fan girl ran out of food and water and had to retreat.
A/N: ...yeah.
Read and Review.
Disclaimer: I don not own Naruto or fan girls. I do own myself a.k.a the narrator. Well actually I'm not entirely sure. I am pretty sure I own myself. Actually this is sounding a lot like slavery, kids do not own people. Owning people is bad unless you mean it as taunt as in you totally owned that kid at chess. Although I don't know why a kid would be playing chess, then again I play chess... but am I a kid? Only on the inside.
From a schizophrenic author who half asses a lot of chapters... sorry.
-awesomepigman