Seven months later
There's no place like home. It was a mocking sentiment for Michonne, considering she was far away from her place of comfort. There weren't any yellow brick roads in King County, well not if she counted Mrs. Neidermeyer's yellow tiled driveway. Still, she felt like Dorothy in Oz; alone, maybe a little scared, but determined nonetheless to find her way again. The taxi had driven off with a honk, but seconds went by while she stared at the front of her aunt's house recalling cherished memories and forgotten mistakes.
She wondered if she clicked her loafers together three times if she would be transported to somewhere far away.
"There's no place like home." She repeated the mantra out loud this time, in an effort to convince herself she was doing the right thing.
Coming home had been the right thing, it was time.
Michonne let loose a heavy sigh, feeling drained from her journey but unable to move from in front of the house she grew up in.
The sooner she got inside and handled everything she needed to, the sooner she could try to settle into some kind of life in King County. She hefted her duffle bag onto her shoulder, and walked up the four dusty steps that lead to the wrap around front porch. Another involuntary stop took hold of her, she watched the old mahogany front door like it was a ghost.
There was a sign on the door that only she could see, Don't open. Dead inside.
Dead relationships, dead promises, a house full of dead things that she was about to exhume.
She used her key to unlock the door. The house smelled better than she expected. There was no mustiness or swirling clouds of dust greeting her as she walked in. She dropped her bag on the ground next to the old coffee table. She walked towards the shutter windows and parted the cream drapes that decorated the living room to allow the beautiful sunlight outside into the dismal house. There was a small gnaw of pain in her lower back, she knew lifting her own luggage wasn't a good idea. Not with the way she'd been feeling the past couple of days. She sat down on the beige loveseat to relieve the ache a bit. The task of fixing up the house that was bequeathed to her rested heavily on her shoulders. She had managed to save more than enough so when she quit her job and moved back home she would be able to be comfortable until she could work again. At the time, saving money for house repairs hadn't been on her agenda, but plans change. She knew that too well.
There were so many decisions to make that she wasn't sure she had the energy to tackle any of it. If aunt Yvette was here she would already be fidgeting in the kitchen, fixing Michonne a specific kind of tea to suit the mood, ready to hear all her stories about city living.
Some green tea would ease your stress away honey. Michonne could almost hear her smooth voice in the house. Seven months had passed and she still couldn't believe her aunt was gone. Her heart felt heavy thinking about the loss. One of the drawbacks of escaping home somehow made family time almost non existent. Plain and simple she wasn't checking up on her aunt enough, wasn't home enough, didn't call enough. She was okay with seeing her aunt for Thanksgiving and a random visit during the year. Michonne spent a couple of Christmases by herself, growing content with being alone at a time of the year marked out for family. She would make fruit cake and drinking eggnog while watching Home Alone, four or five times. She had friends in the city who would drop by, providing her with the holiday cheer she was so desperately lacking.
It was just enough for her, enough that although she felt alone she knew she wasn't.
She and aunt Yvette would talk on the phone, her aunt was always trying to reach out to her. Michonne didn't know of any way to help her aunt see that she was in no way responsible for how Michonne felt. Maybe she was just trying to not think ill of the dead.
After her last visit to King County she no longer felt content, somehow she blamed Rick Grimes for that. Rick Grimes who was a great listener and a smooth talker, and probably the best kisser she ever encountered. He made her feel things she didn't want to feel. He gave her so much the night they met, but subtlety hadn't been his speciality when he shared with her all the things he knew he couldn't give a woman. She felt herself softening towards him despite his disclaimer and it scared her half to death.
She probably was a coward, but it was why she had snuck out on him after their full weekend of getting to know each other on a more intimate level. Now that she was back there was no avoiding him. She hoped that once he saw her again he would forgive her for leaving him the way she did.
Her stomach growled, the last time she had something to eat was at breakfast.
She wondered if she should order take out for dinner. It was only five o'clock in the afternoon but she was already starving. She remembered her aunt Yvette kept all the take out menus below the basket of bills on the kitchen counter. She had a taste for Rhee's a tasty korean restaurant in the heart of King County. It was a regular spot for her and Sasha back in the day. On her last visit she and Sasha had dinner there and the food was better than anything they had in the city.
She snagged the menu, perusing to see what tantalized her taste buds. She sat on the tall kitchen chair remembering the last time she was home, Yvette didn't want to hear about her going out to eat, not when she could give her a home cook meal like old times. Yvette had been a decent substitute mother for her. She didn't treat her any less than she did her two boys; Noah and Theo, but there was something lacking for the twelve year old girl who had been thrusted into her aunt's care when her mother died. Michonne had tried to be normal while she was grieving her mother, but the feeling of not really belonging in the Wilson's home, although family, plagued her. She didn't belong to any one really. Yvette took her on because she felt obligated. Michonne's dad died when she was four, he had no known family so it was pretty much just her and her mom. Aunt Yvette lived up the roads for most of her life. She and her mother were close enough, but she knew when Yvonne died, to aunt Yvette Michonne was just another mouth to feed. She got along well will Noah and T-dog as he was affectionately called by his friends, but they weren't that close. The last time she saw them was for their mother's funeral in February. The loss of her aunt wasn't unexpected, but it still stung when she got the call that night. She was always good to her, going sometimes the extra mile for the jaded, untrusting teenager she was. She was on a plane the next day, returning to the place where she felt she never truly belonged. Her presence in the nuclear family always felt fake to her, like she was an extra on a sitcom. Even being with her friends didn't feel as perfect as it used to be. By the time she was eighteen she had her future all mapped out and it didn't include being in King County.
It seemed aunt Yvette had different plans for her. Why she left the old country house to Michonne still had her stumped. She knew more than anybody that King County only had bad memories for her. So when Mr. Smith contacted her and told her about her new acquisition she didn't hesitate to call Noah and T-Dog to let them know. Their response to the news wasn't what she expected at all. Noah had recently gotten married and was living in New York with his new wife Beth, T-Dog had enlisted in the army and was stationed halfway across the world. In other words they both had zero plans for the house and gave her carte blanche with her decision. How did their departure seem more acceptable than hers?
Tears formed in her eyes as she remembered her aunt's last words to her, it was what made Michonne so sad during and after her funeral. When Sasha suggested they head to Merle's as a way to stave off the pain she was all for it.
She didn't expect her life to be forever changed that night. Nothing prepared her for her instant attraction to Rick Grimes. She had acclimatized to city life, growing to appreciate the suits and ties of the city. The men were stiff somewhat, but intriguing, business like, but still friendly enough for a few dinner dates, some sex and no talk about commitment. Which frankly was just up her alley. That peculiar desire had a shift when she met Rick Grimes. She had never been attracted to that much country before; the twang, his gait, his cowboy boots, his overused, faded but still so perfectly shaped jeans all gave her a new appreciation for the look.
She sighed, thinking about their love making, how his perfect hands discovered places on her body she didn't know were so sensitive to touch. She blushed when she remembered how he had taken possession of her body, she had never had an experience so perfect before. She stalked back to the couch, trying to place her mind on something else. Food was long forgotten but the pain in her back lingered.
A yawn escaped her, she settled comfortably into the sofa, welcoming dreams of Rick Grimes again.
Sasha was surprised to see Michonne's sleeping frame on the couch. "Michonne?"
Stirring from a light sleep, Michonne turned to face her old friend who was at the threshold of the living room smiling at her.
She wondered what time it was. She must have been more tired than she thought, alluding her weariness to her half day of traveling.
"Hi."
Sasha wondered why she didn't go up to her old room to get a proper nap. It was still in mint condition despite the other depreciating aspects of the house. Michonne didn't even let her know she was coming in today despite living right next door. Sasha had her own key to Yvette's house, she had been the one checking on Yvette after her surgery because frankly there was no one else to do it. Michonne mailed her a generous check every month but she couldn't send her care in the mail, far less take a trip down to see her aunt often.
She knew her friend didn't want to be back in King County but she found it sad that Michonne felt she had to be a loner to feel free. Subsequently forgetting those who cared about her.
"How did you know I was here?"
"Jim from next door said he saw when the cab dropped you off."
Michonne rolled her eyes in annoyance, one of the perks of living in a small town was that everybody knew everybody's business.
"Why didn't you say you were coming?" Sasha questioned.
"There was no time really," she lied, still a bit groggy from her impromptu nap. She set her feet on the ground, keeping the blanket over her somewhat small frame.
"What are you doing here?"
Michonne tried not to assume the tone in Sasha's voice was an accusatory one.
"I live here now. I'm sure you know Yvette left the house for me."
"I didn't think you'd take it to be honest." Sasha made her way to the comfy single chair to the left of the sofa.
"I am. I'm back. For good," she said with a firm tone.
"Really? You're coming back to the slow pace of life? You always said time moved backwards here."
"Maybe slowing down is what I need right now." She tried to smile through her sentence.
"Good for you. Trading in your prada for plaid is a big step. Take it slow." Sasha's advice was funny but wise. It would take her a while to adjust.
"I plan to. I never got to thank you for all you did for aunt Yvette. I'm sorry I wasn't around enough." It was a touchy subject, but Michonne needed to express her gratitude.
"It was nothing. Yvette became a part of all of us."
There was a pregnant pause, the two women bursting to say what was really on their minds, but holding back because they knew it wasn't the right time.
"I still miss her you know." Sasha was looking around the house, thinking of the woman she had gotten even closer to over the last year before she died.
"I do too." Michonne's throat was drier than the sahara, she was desperate for a cold glass of water. She threw the thick blanket off, needing to go get a drink.
"Oh. My. God!" Sasha exclaimed, taking in her friend's full frame as she rose from the couch. "You're pregnant!"
Michonne had forgotten where she was for a brief moment, Sasha's observation caught her off guard. There was no skirting around the obvious, but her palms become sweaty and her heart began to race. Her wine colored capri and white cotton, lace trim top concealed everything but her growing baby bump.
Her hands flew to her rounded belly in reflex, "I am."
"Whose is it? I didn't know you were seeing anyone. " Sasha was never one to beat around the bush. Michonne didn't want to lie to one of her oldest friends. She wasn't sure if she should disclose the father of her baby yet.
"How have you been Sasha?" She tried to digress.
"I know we haven't spoken in a long time, but are you engaged? Married?" After her aunts funeral she promised she would try to keep in touch with Sasha, Andrea and Maggie but she was unsuccessful in that goal. Keeping up with certain topics of conversation was difficult when you didn't know the insides jokes or couldn't relate to the subject matter anymore.
"I'm not married Sasha. Calm down." She got to the kitchen, grateful the fridge was still stocked, she figured she had Sasha to thank for that.
"Can I offer you something to drink?" Michonne asked, not forgetting her manners.
"I'm fine thanks. I'm sorry I didn't mean to bombard you." Sasha's pitch was low.
She joined Michonne at the kitchen counter. "But being back here, pregnant and all. People are bound to ask questions."
Michonne smiled, feeling that tight tug of familiarity again being this close to Sasha.
"How far along are you?" she asked walking back to the living room.
"Seven months." She expected Sasha to do some kind of calculation in her head, but her friend's face was blank. Which lead her to believe that Sasha didn't know about her and Rick. They had agreed they would've kept whatever they had between them alone. Rick kept his word, but she still felt slighted by his silence. She knew being back meant she couldn't be silent anymore.
"Congratulations. To you and your guy. Was it that guy you said you were dating a while ago? What was his name? Michael? Mike?"
"No. Mike and I broke up a long time ago." She was ready to leave it at that. Give Sasha information on a need to know basis even if she didn't really need to know, but that wasn't why she came home. She came home to be a better version of herself and running away from her problems, being evasive about facts wasn't what she wanted for herself or her baby. So she sucked in a breath and pulled some bravado from deep within her gut and faced Sasha head on. She was about to utter something that she had only said to herself for the last seven months. She hoped she wouldn't be judged for it.
"The baby is Rick's. He and I were together the last weekend before I left after Yvette's funeral. I asked him to keep it between us. Seems were weren't as careful as we thought."
She felt relieved having finally admitted the truth to someone who really knew her. She was still burdened by her guilt, but not as much as before.
Sasha's face morphed from shock to some kind of calm comprehension.
"Oh my God. It's you." Sasha's was still in awe.
Michonne accepted she couldn't escape the line of questioning from Sasha. She owed the woman who she used to consider a sister that much. She wasn't expecting her to smile after her big revelation.
"You're who Rick has been pining over all this time. He never said a word to me."
"I didn't realize you two were that close." She refused to believe Rick was pining after her, period.
Sasha gave her a silencing stare. "You're gonna tell him right? Of course you're gonna tell him. You're back for good." Sasha had folded her arms and started to pace the living room floor. "Is that why you're back? You want to have the baby here? To be closer to Rick?"
Michonne looked up at the tile ceiling wishing that the right response would drop in her lap. "Coming back was just the right thing to do. Then I found out Yvette left me the house and it cemented my decision." It was a half truth at best.
"I'm not even sure how Rick is gonna take the news. There's a good chance he may not want this baby." Her most fearful thoughts crossed the bridge in her brain and flew out her mouth.
Sasha shot her a steel glare. "Rick is one of the good ones. Please don't hurt him."
It was the plea in Sasha's voice that let Michonne know where her friend's loyalty rested.
"I guess hurting people is what I'm good at huh?" The words ended with a bitter laugh. She guessed she deserved the isolation given that friendship was normally a two way street.
"I never said that. I'm just saying you don't know him like we do."
She was back to feeling like the kid looking through the toy store window again. She wanted to go inside and play with the toys but so many things were keeping her away.
She didn't need to disclose everything she and Rick had shared during their brief time together. Whatever was said seven months ago was now going to be adversely affected by the fact that she was pregnant with Rick's child. She was guilty enough for having kept her secret for so long, but she was here now and it wasn't just to fix up her aunt's house. She had friendships to repair, and she had to find a way to break the news to Rick. She hoped there was some way they could move forward in a mature fashion.
"You may not know it Sasha, but I do miss you."
"You never called…" Sasha slouched with her response. Michonne saw the toll their strained friendship took on Sasha. She knew it would be the same for Maggie and Andrea too.
"I'm here now." She was tired of the loneliness. She was scared of bringing a child into the world by herself. That was probably her real reason for coming home. She didn't want to be alone anymore.
"Is he...is he seeing anyone?" She wanted to believe she asked the question because she didn't want the situation to be more complicated than it needed to be. In the deep recesses of her mind she simply couldn't picture anyone else in Rick's arms but her. She had no right to be thinking these thoughts. Not when she was the one that ran away from him in the first place. They both felt things that first night, it started long before their lips touched and their bodies joined. She was just too scared to give it a chance.
"Well, he goes out with Jessie Anderson now and then. She's originally from Alexandria. Works at the museum. I don't think it's anything serious."
Nodding her head because she didn't have anything to say, she stared at the beam of light reaching into the living room, she never got a chance to bask in the simple act of appreciating a pretty sun beam when she was living in the city.
"Could we just keep this between us until…"
"Of course." Sasha rushed her response, letting Michonne know the ball was in her court.
Trying to rid them of the awkward silence that settled between them Sasha cleared her throat, "Maggie and Glenn are getting married."
Michonne's eyes lit up, " Really? That's great."
"Yeah Hershel's real proud. We've been getting ready for the big day. Rick is Glenn's best man."
Of course he is, Michonne wanted to say, but held back. She was happy for Maggie and Glenn, those two were made for each other.
"They''re having a joint bachelor and bachelorette party tomorrow night. You know Glenn and Maggie, weird as hell." Sasha laughed and shook her head. "I know Maggie will want you there once she knows you're in town." Sasha ran a hand through her beautiful coils before she added, "Rick will be there."
Michonne's eyes lit up at the fact. Sasha wasn't holding back on the need for Rick to know what was going on. Michonne had been working up her courage for months to face him and tell him she was pregnant. She knew what she had to do and wouldn't rest until the deed was done, damn the consequences.
"It would be nice to see everyone again." Although inside she was cringing at the thought of one of their group sessions.
"I better get going. Daryl and I are going to see a movie." Sasha moved towards the door, ready to take her leave.
"Hey Sasha. Do you know any contractors? I need to hire someone to assess the house to see how much work needs to be done. Someone reasonable but good." She didn't want to delay her plans. The baby was going to be arriving soon and she had to get the depreciating house ready.
"Michonne, you know the guys won't have you paying anyone when they can come help you out."
"No. No. I couldn't impose on them."
Sasha walked back to Michonne and took her hand, "You haven't been living her for seven years, but you're still family. You never turn your back on family."
Michonne's eyes grew full with unshed tears. She was undeserving of the grace Sasha was pouring out, but she'd take it. "Thank you."
"Mom made some chicken noodle soup earlier, I'll bring you a bowl okay. You should eat and get some rest. You look exhausted."
Michonne watched Sasha exit through the way she came. One hurdle was over. She knew she would face everybody soon enough, but Rick was first on the list. She hoped he could be as forgiving as Sasha.
"Michonne." Sasha peeked through the front door after she had closed it behind her.
"Yeah."
"For what it's worth, I'm glad you're back." When Sasha smiled, she smiled with her eyes too. It was a beautiful sight.
"I appreciate that." Michonne replied, unsure of what to say, but certain of the way Sasha's sentiment made her feel. Hope was renewed inside her. She still had Rick to face, but there was a strong conviction in her soul that coming home had been the right thing to do.