Lambdadelta looked all around herself, almost feeling a bit of awe.
Hoh~? Now this...
"Now this isn't disappointing at all."
She started humming as if all was normal, setting out to finally have some real fun again.
"Be careful on your way home, you three!" Came the bright and cheery voice of a certain male.
"Mii~ Thank you, KeiKei. But you're probably in much more danger than us."
"W-wah! Why do you say that, Rika-chan?" But of course, he knew. The weight on his arm was clear.
"Haooo~! Hanyuu-chan, Rika-chan, Satoko-chan, you should all come home with me instead, too~!" A redhead cooed, steam coming out her nose and a bit of drool (rather grossly) waving about from her mouth.
"This is our cue to get out of here quickly, it seems." Satoko's voice. Rather polite speech as ever.
The previously mentioned three left from beside the school in the opposite direction as they always did (the twins had gone earlier thanks to errands, but these weren't the usual shopping errands. No, these errands involved a certain clinic and another certain male. But, that was also a story for another day. Keiichi might finally soon receive a "gift" to even out the vastly unfair female to male ratio in the club, though). For now, however, he was left behind with a Rena that was still fawning over him. The swan on his tutu swayed back and forth vigorously...
"Yet another loss for him, I almost feel bad~" Satoko snickered.
"Hanyuu was so close to crashing their date."
"Hau au au~ You're so mean, Rika..."
"I'm simply stating facts." Rika replied with a blank face.
Hanyuu whined some more, pouting. The tiny (in both number and size) group continued chatting idly for a while. The atmosphere was light and cheerful, the standard these days. Then, Hanyuu suddenly stopped. Rika and Satoko soon stopped too, looking back in curiosity.
"What, Hanyuu?" Rika pressed.
"Ummm...Rika, I left something at school. Yes. So, would you please come back with me to get it? I don't want to go alone."
"Really? Is it even that important? Plus, then Satoko will be all alone..." Rika trailed off, seeming irritated.
Satoko put a hand on her shoulder. She wished that Rika wouldn't randomly get so rude with Hanyuu so often, even if the two were "family." Rika winced a little, feeling a bit ashamed about Satoko seeing such a part of her. Satoko went to speak.
"I'll be just fine, I can quite handle myself on my own, you know? Plus, one day of not walking back with the both of you won't kill me." She gave Rika an encouraging push. "Go on. Besides..." Satoko's eyes seemed to quickly dart from them to the ground multiple times, as if she was embarrassed about something. "I can't miss Tom and Jerry! I-it's really good inspiration for traps, you know?"
Rika smiled a bit at this, murmuring a meek "okay." And so, the groups split off. As soon as Rika thought that Satoko was far from earshot, she asked, "So? What is this sacred item you so-"
"Rika, would you mind being quiet for a bit?"
Rika would've snapped even more violently right there, but she held off, wanting to be a better person for Satoko's sake. So instead, she turned her eyes away from Hanyuu's face and to the ground, sulking, as they continued walking back for some time. Eventually, however, she realized something very odd. Rika narrowed her eyes.
"Would you mind telling me why you've frozen time? I didn't even know you could still do that."
"It's not me."
That was Hanyuu's deep, godly voice. Rika felt like her blood had frozen, too.
"...Huh? Then who!?" Rika demanded quickly. "Don't tell me that those freaks Tamurahime and Une are back, or something!?"
Hanyuu smiled wryly. "I think it's much worse."
"I would appreciate a less cryptic answer."
Hanyuu continued smiling like before.
"...Hey. Hanyuu!" Rika shouted. She soon realized that her body had moved in her irritation.
What the hell...?
She brushed it off quickly, moving closer to Hanyuu so she could shake her shoulder. This made the blood drain from Rika's body at this point, because Hanyuu didn't budge an inch. Now she was totally frozen and like a stone. She felt cold, and so did the air around Rika, for that matter. Maybe it was just her fear, but who wouldn't be unnerved in this situation?
"Ohohoho~! My, pretty good instincts there. So even that creampuff sucker is worth something."
Rika flipped around so fast she might as well have been a tornado. That laugh was oddly familiar, but everything else felt downright vile. She screeched when she saw a pair of bright red eyes right in front of her own (also oddly familiar). She fell backwards and her land felt like she could have easily cracked her tailbone. Rika snapped her eyes back up though, trying to ignore the pain, not wanting to lose her guard. She could hardly believe what she saw, however.
Some blonde pink blob of a young girl(?) was floating in front of her, looking down at her, eyes laced with a bit of...worry? She thinks that lightly, as they feel weirdly patronizing. The mystery person spoke.
"...Sheesh, I didn't think you'd flip out this much. Then again, I guess you aren't the extremely cold "I don't care about anything, nothing surprises me" jerk quite yet?"
Rika barely registered the words being said. She was still busy staring up, her expression turning more and more comically bewildered. Lambdadelta started smiling slightly, finally seeing some of the cuteness she was craving for. However...
"My god. You're the biggest freak yet. What the hell is with that blinding outfit?"
Lambda blinked a few times. It was almost like the words had gone in one ear and out through the other, until she began turning more and more red, cheeks puffing up like a balloon.
"What!? What are you saying!?" She exploded. "How rude can you get!? You're sooo nothing like you look, you know that!?"
She continued raving on, spluttering many a "how dare you!" Rika quirked a brow, any and all sense of danger fading.
Ugh, she's like some gigantic baby, too...
Rika snapped out of her thoughts quickly, moving to readjust the messed up straps of her backpack, as this...thing...continued to whine, shaking her hands up and down and moving throughout the air.
God, I'm too old for this shit. When does my suffering end...?
Rika got up from the ground, looking back to the girl. "Hey. Can you unfreeze time so I can go home already? I need a drink..." She muttered that last statement more quietly and more to herself. Lambdadelta caught it, though. She got back into Rika's face again, seemingly fully recovered.
"Heeey, you're like, what, twelve? No way should you be drinking!" She chided, though she was still a bit amused. Bernkastel was such a dork and alcoholic that she named herself after wine, after all. "Addictions, especially this incredibly early in life, will only lead you down more and more dark paths!" Lambdadelta rambled on with her pointer finger going back and forth, glasses (did she have those at first, Rika questioned to herself) sat on her face.
Dark paths indeed, Lambda wanted to giggle to herself. Also, should she herself really be acting like some kind of role model? She pondered these inane things in her head until Rika spoke once again.
"Whatever. It's none of your business. Don't speak like my mother. She's dead anyways. Now go away." Rika shrugged her straps into place some more, before smugly adding, "Besides, you look like you could be, what, eight? I also doubt that you have any room to speak on addictions, considering you act like you're on a permanent sugar craze."
Lambdadelta's mouth was agape. Sure, she loved the cold, cruel, fickle, disgusting, terrifying mass that was Bernkastel, and those were some of the reasons themselves, but really. To think that she was already this jaded as a human. Nothing like cute little Miyoko. Sure, that one grew up to be a ruthless monster as an adult (which is fine for me too, Lambdadelta mused) but she was hoping the personality would match the looks on this one as well.
Hell no, however; she was a cocky, dark little girl who already drank (Rika was working on that now, in actuality, unbeknownst to Lambda) and said rude and foul things easily, not to mention casually and disrespectfully mentioning a dead parent (Rika didn't mean for it to come across that way like she might've in the past, either). Nonetheless, Lambda chuckled challengingly. She supposed this could still be a delicious combo in itself.
"I'll have you know I'm waaay older than you in both body and mind, dumb little girl, so respect your elders or else!" Such a thing was a waste of words on Rika, considering how she already treated nearly all of her elders, even her own older friends sometimes, or how pampered she was no matter what in the village. Lambdadelta continued on obliviously though, her expression turning more suspicious. "...How do you know that I like my sweets?"
"You're wearing some, you know." Rika deadpanned.
Lambdadelta fell silent again, her mouth wiggling around in irritation. Losing to Bernkastel was one thing, but no way would she let this one continue to humiliate her. Gasping suddenly, she theatrically brought a hand to her chest and flung her head back, as if in pain. "Man, you're so cruel! I've been nothing but nice to you, yet you continue to fling insults!"
"I think you've perfectly earned this kind of treatment."
Moving on, Lambda said, "And telling me to go away? But we've barely begun our beautiful relationship!"
"I don't want to be anywhere near you, woman. Ggghh-!" Rika let out a noise of surprise as she suddenly felt herself grabbed and pulled into a tight hug.
"Don't talk like that~ Let me play with you for a bit longer, I can show you a great time! So please, start acting a little cuter, okay~?"
Rika grit her teeth and shoved. "Don't touch me!"
Lambdadelta donned a look of confusion, putting her fingers to her chin. Rika narrowed her eyes.
"...What now?" She inquired harshly, feeling like she'd only regret it.
"I don't understand. I had thought that you also appreciated women, so being in my bosom should have calmed you-"
Rika's face turned into flames. "What the fu-"
"Anyway, I also have this pumpkin on my dress! See? Look! It's cause I love my veggies too!" Lambdadelta lied through her teeth, looking pleased with herself, hands on hips. Not to mention, this was a complete subject change again. "So how about that? I'm way healthier than you, alcoholic!"
"I thought pumpkins were a fruit. Because of seeds."
Lambda paused. She brought her fingers to her chin again, looking way too deep in thought. "When it comes to taste and cooking, I thought they were considered a vegetable. Hmm, is this some kind of Schrodinger's Cat all over again? Or should I say Schrodinger's Vegetable? Schrodinger's Fruit? Double the Schrodinger!"
The girl began laughing maniacally. Rika couldn't decide if she was an idiot or insane. Both sounded good. Though, she still found herself responding to her again.
"Hmm. Impressive that you know of such a term."
"I could say the same thing." Lambda smirked. She seemed to recall a poem of Bernkastel's talking about it. "But anyway, where do you get off on saying "you" so patronizingly like that to me, hmm~~~!? I'll have you know I'm a bigger genius than you." Back to her tirades. What a hypocrite, at that. "And another thing, that reminds me, you should be apologizing for your rude comments on my excellent fashion!"
Rika only smirked herself and quietly muttered, "With that pumpkin on you maybe Satoko would hate you even more than I do."
This was said more to herself than anyone else once again, but it only caused Lambda's ears to perk up. In fact, she cupped her ear and it literally grew larger as if they were in some kind of wacky cartoon. Rika promptly began rubbing her eyes (but she grew slack in the middle, wondering why anything shocked her anymore) as Lambda made a face like something incredible dawned on her. She hit her palm with her fist.
"Oh, I see! You still have a thing for that headband girl here, am I right? Hmmm... I applaud your taste in blondes and all," Lambda paused for a moment in the middle, a brilliant new way to tease Bernkastel coming to her, showing her she had something in common with Battler, "but I have a similar laugh, you know? And muuuch redder eyes. Though there was a time where I donned amber...but I thought it was kinda tacky. My haircut is still kind of a tribute to a certain someone, though! ...Anyway, my hat and bows are sooo much cuter too, and I'm all pink and red and not some dreary, boring black!" She finally managed to finish.
Oops, she supposed she insulted Bernkastel's own fashion with that last bit. Anyway, Rika seemed to still be processing her rant.
"Headband...? Y-you mean..." Rika's face went ablaze again. "How do you know-? N-no I mean, it's not like that! I mean!" Suddenly, Rika finally put on a look of true anger. "Enough beating around the bush! How do you know the things you do!? Why are you here in Hinamizawa!? What are you set out to do!? Who are you!?" Rika interrogated.
"Oh, thanks for finally being polite enough to ask~! But, well, sadly, I don't think I should give you too much information. I will say that I'm a witch, though." Lambdadelta's grin morphed a bit more sinister.
"W-Witch...?" Rika whispered.
"Indeed. I can do all ki~nds of amazing stuff! That's what I was talking about earlier. I can show you such a fun time, how about it?"
"Thanks for the offer, but I grew out of magician shows when I was around seven." Rika spat.
"Puppets~?" Lambda asked playfully, but Rika only glared.
Lambdadelta sighed and reached out to put a hand on Rika's cheek, who found herself blushing despite herself. But she still continued glaring daggers at this witch.
"You don't quite understand, perhaps. You see, I can grant wishes! A~ll kinds. As long as you have a strong will and determination, that is. I hate trash that won't work, do they really want what they want as badly as they say they do~? Anyway, with a pinch of your own power I can give you just about a~nything."
Well, I've turned people into witches and gods, after all. I suppose there really isn't something that I cannot do.
Not missing a beat, Rika replied, "Well, I wish incredibly strongly for you to screw off. Does that work?"
Lambdadelta gave a grin with sharp teeth showing, withdrawing her hand and closing her eyes. "Alright. I'll grant that wish."
"Oh, really?" Rika replied with a dry tone.
"But, but, but! I can be fickle with when I grant exactly. Some humans have had to work a lifetime!" Seeing Rika's sour face (mixed with some horror, like she thought Lambdadelta might haunt her for life. Hey, I'm a witch, not a ghost, Lambda responded in her own head) she assured, "But I'll grant yours soon, don't worryyy~"
"Well, the time is ticking. Or actually, it's not, thanks to you."
Ignoring her, Lambda (ludicrously, in Rika's eyes) proposed a game of rock-paper-scissors. Rika interrogated her, wondering if this was some type of situation where if she lost, she lost the chance at a granted wish. Lambdadelta rolled her eyes, saying she wouldn't do that, but Rika's face was still dubious. She insisted the challenge would be something waaay cooler, if so. Rika rolled her own eyes, giving in. It was one match. Both of them chose paper. Lambdadelta whistled.
"That's an interesting choice, I like it a lot~ But I'm Super Paper, so it's my win and not a tie."
"Mii~ Are you, perhaps, brain damaged, miss?" Now she used her child voice.
"You know what, I'll be glad to leave at this point!" Lambda retorted, sticking out her tongue. Even Bernkastel treated her better than this. Even if the only reason she was here in the first place is because she was ditched...
Rika felt both of her cheeks suddenly cupped. "Hey, quit it!"
Lambda looked at her, a surprising expression of fondness on her. "I guess I just can't bring myself to screw with you or this world anymore."
"...How kind of you." Sarcasm, of course. Rika would have said next that she was glad that this person was wearing those long ass gloves (randomly black, she might add, so insulting Satoko's headband was hypocritical) lest her face could be melting at this point from direct touch. To that, maybe Lambda would say that only witches were the ones who were supposed to melt, so she was only insulting herself. But instead what came was:
"I think your real determination lies in enjoying your happy ending and miracle. So, I hope that you always will. You worked so hard for it, after all. I'll even lend my power to make sure it's not ruined." Lambdadelta smirked darkly. "If anything, I'm simply repaying a debt, so to speak. Even then, it's hardly anything. As fond as I was of that girl, I inadvertently made your life a living hell, I found as I finished this "story." Good thing I kind of abandoned her in a sense after granting her wish, and with all of my tea breaks. If I hadn't, who knows, hm~? I'm much better now at sticking with my pupils till the end than I was in the past, for better or worse, you know? But, it seems she's happy here too, even if her wish wasn't granted quite the same way, all thanks to your kind mercy, so all ends well, hm~?"
"If only I cared to understand your talk." Rika said, keeping up the aloof act she's had all this time. However, it felt like her eyes were spinning. She really couldn't understand the things that this person was saying or what she was talking about, and she only kept going on and on. Was she talking about some kind of friend (who Rika assumed was just as terrible, probably) now?
"It's fine, you don't have to. Even though I'm giving you suuuch juicy hints and info~ You don't even need to be grateful despite all that I'm doing for you, that's how far my kindness extends!" Lambdadelta shrugged with her hands up in the air. "You better not ever falter in your determination, though! Even she, with her amazingly strong will, lost when yours became greater."
Meanwhile, since Lambdadelta had finally let go of her, Rika had moved back towards Hanyuu. "Make sure you fix this before you leave, too. And don't ever come back, witch. I have no need for things like witches anymore." After a bit, she harshly added, "And I'll enjoy my life just fine. If anything, you're the current biggest obstacle to my happiness, it seems."
Lambda ignored her statement, instead asking curiously, "Ohhh, but you'll basically hang out with a demon~?"
"She's far better than you are. And...don't call her that!"
Lambdadelta finally looked seriously mad for the first time. "Now that's probably the worst thing that's ever been said to me. If only you knew..." She paused. "No. No need to ruin things now. Besides...a different you will realize everything in time. But for now, be ignorant, and most importantly, happy~"
Ignorance is bliss, after all. Lambda moved closer again, taking Rika's hand, stopping her face just in time and smirking. "Can I at least give a parting gift?" One of many so far, Lambdadelta mused to herself.
"As if!" Rika shouted.
"I figured as much. But I respect all of your wishes. Even I'm not so cruel as to horribly hurt you. The other you doesn't mind, though. Well, bye-bye!"
Bye-bye, Frederica. No. Furude Rika.
Rika blinked and missed her vanishing. Everything fell silent. She could almost convince herself that everything was just some horrid nightmare now. Then, something fell onto her head and she snatched it out of her hair.
"...Popcorn?"
"What was that, Rika?"
Rika yelped in surprise at another voice. However, seeing who it belonged to finally gave her a sense of relief. Relief. It had already felt as if she had been deprived 1000 years worth of it. But now, she felt like she had received twice that length's worth of good things, weirdly enough. She looked back at the palm of her hand. It was empty. Rika stared at it for a bit longer before shaking her head and turning her attention back to where it really should be.
"S-Satoko...what are you doing here...?"
Satoko titled her head. "Umm...we're heading back to get something that I left in school. Are you alright?"
Rika blinked rapidly. "Oh, right. Sorry, I must have had my head in the clouds. Nipah~!"
That's right. Just a weird daydream.
Rika looked around. "...Where did Hanyuu go?"
"...Home, Rika." Satoko moved closer to put a hand on Rika's forehead. "Do you have a fever, or something?"
Rika blushed from making a fool of herself twice in a row, and their close proximity. "I'm fine, I'm fine! I'm just silly today! Let's go get your stuff."
"Do you need me to hold you so you don't stumble?" Satoko asked, still worried.
Rika shook her hands in front of her, continuing to insist that her wellbeing was good. Satoko only continued to act dotingly herself, however. When Rika asked "What about the cartoon showing?" Satoko, exasperated, said that she had already told her that she could live without it for a day. Plus, Rika was more important right now. As Rika pondered what an honor this was, sitting atop a tree branch some distance away, Lambdadelta watched the sight, stuffing popcorn into her mouth. Her face was sulky, but she had to admit that she liked these kinds of things. It made her wonder how Beato and Battler's marriage was going.
Ahhh, just look at her getting increasingly flustered. Now she acts all truly cute. Well, what can you do. I'll even give that girl credit for her own strong will and determination. I mean, she withstood being stabbed multiple times to death by that one maniac, after all. Is it just me or are blondes truly the best when it comes to everything~? Ohohoho~! That reminds me, seems those two, ironically enough, always have a similar wish. It seems like their efforts will finally come to fruition very soon, as well~ Anyway, I probably have bigger things to worry about, later, thanks to this stunt. But maybe it'll also bring about some more exciting things~? I can only hope.
Lambdadelta tossed her finished bucket to the ground, stretching. She stood up, and before fading out of the world entirely, she looked back one more time.
...Well. I'm thankful you taught me to enjoy wish granting again, at least. I was so damn bored I nearly gave up on it entirely. Now I remember why a happy ending can be enjoyable, too, even if it's yet again at the expense of myself. I finally found a kakera that seems worth something once more. Really, though, I'm certain that's the first time anybody has wasted a wish on telling me to go away. It's very interesting, though. But if I'm not mistaken, it seems even you were enjoying the banter here and there, hmm~? Oh, by the way, that creampuff idiot is back home already, enjoying a giant pile of fresh creampuffs I gifted so I would be left alone. Dumbass. Bleeeeeh!
A/N:
Yup, my main goal/idea was to try writing Lambdadelta and Rika interaction. Now I want to do Bernkastel and Satoko interacting too, though. Dammit. Should be just one more chapter after this, by the way.
Just consider this as taking place after Matsuribayashi, Saikoroshi and Hou, because of the Tamurahime and Une reference. I hate both of them (more than I dislike Hanyuu, wow. I actually attempt to throw her a bone frequently, after all) so I just wanted to have Rika insult them somehow. Sorry she insulted you too though, Lambda. A lot.
Also, I didn't know how to write Satoshi into this as much, though I immensely wanted to include him (didn't want to deal with him walking back with the others or something as that might have made things go much differently/the fic even longer though) but. He definitely wakes up. With certainty. Imagine it's like, a week after this story. No, actually, the twins are still helping him walk again and stuff. There we go.
Lambdadelta saying she used to give herself amber eyes is a reference to them being like that in Ryukishi07's original sprites, but they're red in basically everything else. I actually prefer them that way personally. But, when it comes to how Bernkastel's hair is in Ryukishi07's sprites versus pretty much anything else, I prefer the original there. Lambdadelta saying her hair is a tribute is a reference to my headcanon that Lambdadelta looks so much like Miyoko because it's in honor and memory. Because Lambda is just the one who granted her "become a God" wish. And she was fond of her/misses her because of her interesting wish and will. A certain someone in Umineko she describes as similar and another break from all of the boredom, finally.
Let's say before messing with Rika she took a peek into Takano healing at the clinic as well, AKA her speeches. I think that's it. See ya.