A/N Thanks for playing and following. You knew I was always gonna bring my boys into the spotlight too, right?

19 days before Kev and Javi threw down Rick's writing challenge, they were struggling with a challenge of their own. A little background to raise the stakes of the bet, before we add more fun sentences. All in good crackfic fun...

~o~

"This is stupid, bro." Espo had had enough of the antsy feeling in his pants.

"You're telling me." Ryan wasn't pleased with having to put up with his partner's 'agitation' either.

"I'm not giving in just because Castle thinks I can't walk away." Javier stared at the woman in the box, legs crossed inside a short red dress. Fixing her hair into something wilder than the barrette she wore would allow, she unclasped the full length of her mane and shook out the kinks of her confinement.

Ryan stitched his brow, attempting to clarify without calling attention to his best friend's loose grammatical grasp. "Wait, does that mean that you ARE gonna go talk to her, or that you're NOT gonna go talk to her?"

"Yes." Javi stared harder at the object of his desire, barely able to make sense to himself, let alone Kevin.

Quite accustomed to interpreting the non-verbal cues, Kev continued as if it all made sense. "So, this has nothing to do with Rhonda."

Javier spun toward his partner defensively, "No way. How could you even think that? I'm not celebrant."

"I think you mean celibate."

"Right. Celibate." Javier punched his arms downward to straighten his sleeves. "I been trashing Castle's challenge of abstinuts."

Kev corrected, "Abstinence."

"Right. That." The lust behind Espo's eyes revved like red Camaro's on hot summer asphalt, threatening to plow through Kevin, the wall, and maybe the woman on the other side of the glass, before the detective could grab hold of himself.

"Ya know, Jav, Castle never expected you to make it 21 days. You really don't need to make it to 40. February 14th is a long way off."

"Bullshit. I made it this far. I'm not backing out now. I'm more than half way there!" Javier turned back to resume pining for the female through the window.

"You're halfway somewhere." Ryan mentioned quietly, with an awkward glance down to Espo's pant seams beginning to stretch.

Javi looked down. "Dammit, Castle!" He grabbed his jacket from the table, draping it over his arm to cover the problem, and stormed to the men's room for the third time in as many days.

Rick caught the door still swinging from Espo's abrupt exit and entered the observation room, a question marking his brow. "Hey Ryan, what's up with Espo?"

"Up? Same thing that's been 'up' for the past 3 weeks."

Castle nodded his head in sympathetic recognition. "Ah, still on that challenge, huh?"

"It would appear so." Ryan motioned to the red dress wrapping the red hot woman as explanation.

"He knows I didn't literally mean 'no sex,' right?"

Ryan sighed, "I've tried to explain it, but he's determined to make it to Valentine's Day."

Aghast, Rick spurted, "Dear God, that's not natural. I mean, especially for Espo." He let the implications filter through his extrapolating mind. "What if he hurts himself? What if he hurts the poor woman on Valentine's night? What if he hurts…" Rick cupped his hand to his mouth in worry.

Ryan supplied, "You?"

Rick nodded.

"It's a distinct possibility." Kevin answered truthfully. "He's been a paragon of self-control, but everyone has their limits. And he definitely blames you."

Rick turned to reassess the steaming hotness of the woman in the window before whispering to himself, "Pride goeth before a fall." He turned back to the detective. "Ryan, you gotta help me get Espo laid."

Kevin backed up. "Uh uh. No way. That sounds like a terrible idea. I like my teethe where they are thank you very much. I'm all for ending this cruelty, but if Javi doesn't deck me for taking sides, the woman in question is sure to take a swing or two."

Rick checked to make sure they were talking about the same woman. "Her? 5'5"? 125 pounds of comely curvaceousness? You are worried she'll take you down?"

"Not the first week." Ryan defended his reasoning with absolute surety. "Or the second. It'll be the third, when Javi stops calling cause he can't think of what to say. She'll come storming in here and slap me when she can't find him."

"This has happened before, I take it."

"More times than I care to count." Ryan rubbed his jaw where the latest unlucky girl had left a bruise.

Castle straightened his spine to stand up to the challenge. "Then I guess it's up to me."

Beckett surprised them both, having slipped in without their notice. "What's up to you, Castle?"

"Getting Espo laid."

Kate continued reading her report feigning utter unshockability. "Can't fight your feelings anymore after all these years?"

Rick sing-songed his defense, "Not meeeeee. Her."

Beckett raised her eyebrows, threatening a massive eye roll, if he didn't rephrase.

"Or somebody like her. There's a lot of lonely women in this city. Somebody MUST want a date with Detective Esposito before Valentine's Day, right?"

A look of fascination crossed Kate Beckett's face. "Castle, this may be the single worst idea you've ever had."

Captain Victoria Gates entered the observation room just in time to hear Beckett's last sentence. She peered over her glasses, eyeing Rick. "Mr. Castle's worst idea? Worse than Kojak-ing my precinct?" She turned to Detective Beckett. "I don't wanna know, do I?"

Kate, Kevin and Rick replied emphatically in unison. "No, Sir!"

~o~

Try to have a happy V-Day. Or at least survive. More Synonyms on their way…