25 Things You Should Never Do To Ash
1. Don't take your bike anywhere near his Pikachu.
2. If you do, don't follow him around everywhere asking for your bike back.
3. If you do, don't expect him to repay you.
4. Don't abuse his Pokémon.
5. Don't attempt some evil plot near him, as something will cause it to go wrong. Usually him.
6. Don't try to destroy the world. He'll figure out a way to save it.
7. Don't tell him he has to travel with Misty again. She scares the shit out of him sometimes.
8. Don't ask him to do something for you, because he'll probably forget about it within five minutes.
9. Don't remind him that he's never going to be a Pokémon Master.
10. Especially if you are a red-haired water trainer named Misty.
11. Don't play Misty's Song to him.
12. Don't make him dress up as a fruit.
13. Especially if Snorlax is around.
14. Don't tie May and Dawn up, then put them in two separate perilous situations and tell him he can only save one.
15. If you do, don't expect to go without getting your ass kicked for it.
16. Don't hold a Pokémon League tournament, let him win, then tell him it was all a fake.
17. Don't remind him about what a retard he is.
18. Don't parade Jessie, James, and Meowth in disguise around in front of him and ask him who they are.
19. If you do, don't expect him to realize that it's the rejects.
20. Don't remind him what an idiot he is for releasing all those Pokémon.
21. Don't ask him why his Pikachu can beat a Dragonite and a Metagross but can lose to a Raichu.
22. Don't remind him to change his underwear every day. Chances are he won't listen to you.
23. Don't ask him why he and his friends always have to state the obvious.
24. Don't ask him about girls, because he doesn't know a thing about them.
25. Don't remind him that Brock has a better chance of getting a girlfriend than him.