The Doctor paced around the Tardis, thoughts still revolving around Clara. Clara. Clara. The past few hours had consisted of mostly confusion, anger, and possibly hurling objects around the console room in frustration.
Why did Clara Oswald have to be so impossible? To tell the truth, the Doctor had no idea what changed. On that planet, Clara had nearly been captured and killed because of a silly misunderstanding. Ever since then, he knew he couldn't let her die. And if that meant sending her away, then so be it.
But why had she reacted to emotionally, and why had he kicked her out? The Doctor never sent his companions away, not unless he absolutely needed to. But this? There was no logic as to why had made her leave; this was fear. Anxiety. The thought that she could die and it would be all his fault. Surely, that had to mean something. But somehow, he felt that no matter what he did, she would only push him away
Clara woke up the next morning, and she had never felt so awful. That is, until she heard a faint whirring noise outside her door, followed by a tentative rapping on the door.
"Since when do you knock?" Clara joked dryly, the door opening and the Doctor stepping in awkwardly. "I didn't know if I'd ever see you again."
"Clara..." The Doctor sighed, taking in the sight of his companion. Her façade was weak and he could see that beyond the humour and lightheaded conversation, she really was breaking down. He could see her red, swollen eyes and the faint stain of tears on her pale cheeks. "I'm not going to lie to you. I meant what I said, back in the Tardis. But I never gave you a chance to hear me out."
Clara sighed and sat up on the side of the bed, patting on the sheets so he'd join her. The Doctor sat down, far enough to give her breathing room, but close enough to feel her uneven breaths. She was nervous, he realised.
"I'm sorry I sent you away. I shouldn't have done that- I don't know why I did. I was scared, I suppose," he started, fidgeting on the bed, eyes meeting the ground.
"I know you were scared, Doctor," Clara said slowly after a few moments of silence. "I want to know why."
The Doctor took a deep breath, bringing his head up to face her once more. "I was scared because I don't want to lose you. Of course, I never want to lose anyone. I've lost too many people. But it's different with you. It's like...your death is completely out of the question. I can't let it happen because I care for you too much; I swore to myself I wouldn't get attached, but then you came around and made that impossible. If you died, I honestly don't know how I'd live with myself."
Clara's heart pounded in her chest, and before she could stop them, the words started to tumble out of her mouth. "I followed you yesterday because I didn't want you to be alone. I honestly didn't care if I risked my life because to me, your life was more important. Doctor," she paused, gently cupping his troubled, particular face in her hand. "Don't send me away. I won't let you go."
He knew it wasn't a question; in that moment, he knew that no matter how hard he tried, he could never leave her.
Before he could stop himself, the Doctor found himself cradling Clara's face in his own hands and guiding her lips to his. It was chaste and sweet, and completely unexpected. At first he feared Clara would reject him, that maybe he had misunderstood her feelings. That did seem to happen on a regular basis. Though in no time, Clara met him with an unspoken passion, deepening the kiss as her lips slid against his, clutching his jacket to steady herself. It was almost too much; the sheer emotion of the kiss made Clara's head spin, and soon she broke it to gasp for breath.
The Doctor still held her close to him, staring into her eyes and completely losing himself. He wondered how he'd never seen it before. "Clara, you asked me earlier what you are to me, and I never told you," he recalled, tucking a lose strand of hair behind her ear. "You're my soufflé girl, you're my impossible girl. I can't explain wait you are to me, because there's not a word powerful enough to describe it. But you're so much more than I deserve," he told her, wrapping his arms around her waist; she was his sanctuary. "You may be impossible, but I'll never let you go."