Exile: If you're wondering why in the world there's another chapter, it's because I couldn't resist ^. ^ And this is sort of related to my oneshot collection Family Problems.

Allen- 15, Kanda- 18, Lavi- 18, Tyki- 19, Lenalee-16, Rei- 15

51 Things Tyki Mikk Is Not Allowed To Do, present-day AU

Allen

Lenalee

Kanda

Lavi

Rei

1. Tyki is not allowed to attempt to molest me

2. Tyki is not allowed to attempt to kiss me.

3. Unless he wants to be castrated by my sister.

4. And I'm sorry, but that girl was probably a SERIAL KILLER in her past life.

5. And I'm straight, thank you very much.

6. Tyki is not allowed to cheat at strip Poker.

7. Lavi needs his clothes to prevent getting raped by fangirls

8. Tyki is not allowed to call me "shonen" with that weird accent

9. All fujioshi's within hearing distance get the wrong idea.

10. And then Lavi, Lenalee, and Kanda will panic. And Rei will go on another murder rampage.

11. Tyki is not allowed to go near Moyashi at all

12. That's my Moyashi

13. Tyki is not allowed to try to molest MY Moyashi

14. Unless he wants to be castrated by Moyashi's sister

15. Tyki Is not allowed to call Moyashi his uke.

16. That's my line *. *

17. Tyki is not allowed to molest Baka Usagi

18. He doesn't deserve it yet.

19. Tyki is not allowed to try to say innuendos to Moyashi near Moyashi's sister.

20. She will tell me. And we WILL castrate you.

21. Tyki is not allowed to go near Allen

22. Unless Yuu-chan and I are allowed to hire Moyashi's sister to kill him.

23. Tyki is not allowed within a 15-feet distance of Allen or I

24. you know what, I'll just go apply for a restraining order.

25. Tyki is not allowed to destroy Rei's sanity with any yaoi references.

26. We need her sane to kill you and any pedophiles that target Moyashi-chan

27. Portuguese Pedophile is not allowed to call Allen any nicknames

28. That's only Yuu-chan's and my right.

29. Portuguese Pedophile is not allowed to touch Allen's posterior. At all.

30. Scratch that, PORTUGUESE PEDOPHILE IS NOT ALLOWED TO EVEN LOOK AT MY ALLEN!

31. We like his virginity. (Okay, that sounded wrong. We like him to remain a virgin)

32. Tyki is not allowed to touch ANY of my yaoi doujin and redraw the scenes to portray Allen and him

33. Tyki is not allowed to ask me for yaoi pick-up lines

34. Tyki is not allowed to ask Rhode for yaoi pick-up lines.

35. Tyki is not allowed to try to rape Allen with his eyes.

36. That's disturbing. And I will not hesitate to kick you.

37. Tell me, how much do you love that thing called a reproductive organ?

38. Tyki is not allowed to use sexual innuendos on Allen.

39. He is still a mental virgin. Except in Poker. And you touch his virginity, YOU DIE!

40. Portuguese Pedophile is absolutely not allowed to even THINK of talking about sex around Allen or Rei.

41. Tyki Mikk is not allowed to touch my adopted brother, Allen Walker, at all.

42. I will hunt you down and tell Cross what you did and where you are.

43. Tyki Mikk is not allowed to look at Allen with impure thoughts.

44. I WILL MURDER YOU, AND *censored for violent language*

45. Tyki is not allowed to tell us what a seme is, and that that's what he is to Allen.

46. Tyki is not allowed to tell us what a uke is, and that that's what Allen is to him.

47. Tyki is not allowed to talk about or to my brother.

48. Lenalee, Kanda, Lavi, and I will make sure that you die a horrible death following castration.

49. Tyki Mikk is not allowed to use any yaoi terms near me. I like my sanity the way it is.

50. Tyki Mikk is absolutely not allowed to trick me into reading yaoi doujinshi featuring Allen and him. WE WILL FEED YOU TO THE DEBT SHARKS!

Rei placed down the laptop with a final, evil cackle, eliciting her brother and his friends to exchange nervous glances. "We're finally done! Now all that's left is to force him to read it!" she said gleefully. The auras of the other people in the room darkened at the last line, and they nodded. Rei hit the "Print" button and sounds of the large printer were the only thing heard.

"Allen, what are you doing later today?" Kanda, Lenalee, and Lavi said simultaneously, giving each other glares. Rei turned around from the printer, and the moment Allen excused himself to get everyone drinks, she intensified her killer aura.

"Don't forget the rule. You are only allowed to date my brother if he confesses to you first. Any other circumstances in which you want to date him will have to go through me first." The Viet hissed with malice. Allen returned to the room with a tray of iced tea, and passed it around. "So Brother, what are you doing today?"

"I lost a bet with Road." the white-haired boy answered sadly. "And now I have to go with her to her house today and play with her." Everyone in the room flinched, thinking the same things. Road lives with her older brother Tyki, and ohmygod it's a trap! NOOOOO! A series of rapid knocks were heard on the door, and Allen stood up to open it, but he was hurriedly pushed down by his little sister and his friends.

"We'll get it." they said darkly. The moment they opened the door, Road leapt onto Rei's neck.

"Rei! Can you be my doll again!" the younger girl begged. Rei pried her off with difficulty, and Lenalee kindly helped her. "Pretty please with a cherry on top?"

"No, Road. Maybe some other day." Kanda said tersely, answering for Rei. "But what are you and Moyashi going to play today?"

"Truth or dare!" Road said happily. "And Tyki is going to join us, too!" Everyone's faces darkened, and they slammed the door shut in her face. Rei ran back into the room first, diving for the pencil and scrawling furiously.

51. Tyki Mikk is not allowed to have Road kidnap Allen to his house!