Chapter 2

Giulietta Disanto, commonly known as Julia Disanto, went through the list of things she needed to do before she could leave for Las Vegas.

There were two categories of tasks she had to perform.

First of all the ones that everybody was expecting her to do, like packing her clothes for the bachelorette party and three day stay in Sin City. Those she had done in no time and without much ado. They were necessary to keep the appearance up.

More difficult were the tasks that would allow her to finally get away from her family, the mob and the life she had led so far. It had taken her months to work out a plan for that. The final and key opportunity, the one allowing her to get physically away from Chicago, had only presented itself quite recently in the form of that invitation to Las Vegas.

Mentally she went through all the arrangements she had made, some of them even going back almost a year. It had all been triggered by the death of her mother at about that time.

Like for the majority of girls of her generation Julia´s way in life had been predetermined by social conventions. From the very start her school education was merely supposed to provide her with the basics and an education that would allow her to stand her ground in the circles of her class at the side of a successful man, a man from the mob at that. She had obtained that level of schooling without difficulties. But being raised as a girl and in a staunch Catholic Italian family had somehow equipped her with low self-esteem and limited her self-confidence. She had never questioned the future others had planned for her: to become a selfless wife and mother whose sole purpose in life was her family. She had always wanted it herself. Or so she thought.

As long as the man she was preparing herself for was Joseph Anthony LaFiamma, or Tonio as she called him, everything would be perfect. They had known each other all their lives and they had loved each other almost as long as they could both remember. There simply was no doubt that Joey and Julia were meant for each other. They would get married as soon as they were old enough.

It also suited both their families perfectly. Julia had no brothers and her father was the head of a powerful mob family. Joey´s Uncle Mikey counted on his favorite nephew to join the family mob business. The prospects of a merger of the two clans were brilliant and it would lay the foundation for a new and even more powerful family organization.

But in their late teenage years things started to get complicated. Joey had always been a rebel who wouldn´t take the easy road. Even though he had after the death of his parents been raised by his uncle Mikey, one of the most prominent mob bosses in Chicago, and his wife Teresa, Joe had always, with the exception of a single joyride, stayed clear of the mob business and any illegal dealings. When Joey decided to go to law school his uncle had frowned but still thought it could not hurt to have someone within the organization who could take charge of its legal matters.

A year later Joey dropped out of law school. He saw no future in handling the legal or rather illegal business of his mob family as a lawyer. He had made up his mind irrevocably to stay on the right side of the law. Nothing could change his conviction, not Julia, not her father, not Uncle Mikey, not his sons. He simply refused to further pursue the criminal career others had planned for him.

As if to mock them all Joey decided to become a cop.

It had been the end to all their shared plans and hopes. Joey confirmed that he still loved Julia. But he also knew that she would never be able to leave her family to become the wife of a cop. She had cried, pleaded and raged. But nothing could make him change his mind.

The only option was for them to split up.

It had been torture for Julia and she had seen Joey suffer too, seen him fall into a depression in fact. But in the end Joey had pulled through. He had stayed adamant. And he had started his career with the Chicago Police Department.

Thinking back to those days brought tears to Julia´s eyes. She sat down on her bed beside the suitcase she had packed. Her hands kneaded the handkerchief she had gotten hold of and she took a deep breath.

The years that had followed had been hard for both of them. Their love for each other had not changed. But they had painstakingly avoided to meet on family gatherings or other occasions. Joey had slowly risen in the ranks of the CPD though his mob background often proved to be a severe drawback for his career.

Julia had at first aimlessly idled away her time for a while. At last she had realized that bemoaning her fate only made things worse. From then on she had concentrated on helping her mother with her younger sisters. Later the care for her ailing grandparents had become her primary task in life. After their deaths her mother had fallen sick and again Julia had without a second thought taken on that job of looking after her. Julia had never considered herself, always putting everybody else first. She had done what had been expected of a Catholic daughter. It had been her duty before God.

Then about a year ago two things had happened almost simultaneously. After that fatal mob shooting that killed Joey´s partner, Joey was transferred to a place only his uncle and his superior at the CPD knew. With that Julia had lost whatever hope had remained to ever get Joey back.

The second event was the death of Julia´s mother.

Her parents had until then not pressed her to get married. But with her mother gone her father quickly made his point. He needed someone with the right connections and reputation to take over his business, otherwise it would be swallowed by a rival mob clan in the near future. Salvo Barberi, forty-five years old, infamous for his brutality and lack of character, proved to be the right candidate for the position. Taking the daughter of the boss for his wife came with the job description. And Salvo wasn´t disinclined.

Being confronted with her father´s plans had evicted Julia from the permanent purgatory she had lingered in since Joe had left her. But it had in turn taken her over the threshold right into hell, the hell of leading a life as the wife of a brutal and ruthless mob boss.

She had then resolved never to marry that man. She would rather die.

But perhaps there was a third option after all. The publication of the ad in today´s issue of the Chicago Tribune confirmed that her hopes were not totally unfounded.

With shaking fingers she closed the suitcase and took a last look around the room she would never come back to.

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"I guess you´ll have to put in an extra shift to get that report done, LaFiamma," Levon said sardonically. Though Joe had been in the office for over an hour now it seemed he had other things on his mind than that report.

"Leave me alone, Lundy. I´m not telling you how to do your job." Joe provocatively strolled over to the coffee machine, poured himself a mug and with ostentation resumed his place at his desk. He took his time to start the report, halted in midsentence every now and again. At last he ripped the paper out of the type-writer, signed it and shoved it into a folder. He got up to head for the lieutenant´s office.

"You sure that one meets your usual standard?" Levon shouted after him.

Joe looked back over his shoulder. "Even if it doesn´t, it´s none of your business." He knocked on Joanne´s door and when she waved him in he took just one step into the room and threw the report into the inbox on her desk.

"See you in a week, Lieutenant." Joe turned on a dime and was out again before she could answer. As he passed by Levon´s desk he dropped a casual "Have a nice week," and without waiting for a nicety in kind he was out of the bullpen.

A few minutes later Joanne came out of her office, the open folder in her hand. "Is this supposed to be a joke?" The emotions reflected on her face however showed that she was not at all amused.

Levon had put his feet up on the desk. "What?"

"A report of one page for a case that took almost three weeks of your time?"

"Well, looks like you let the boy off the hook too soon with the Chief´s praise and your promise of an extra day off," Levon smirked. But inwardly he could hardly suppress the acute feeling of alarm. This was totally untypical for Joe. He took his work much too seriously to endanger the otherwise good working relationship with their superior with levity.

Joanne stood there for a moment as if waiting for an explanation.

"Yah got any idea what was in that envelope?"

"What has that got to do with anything? You think that´s the reason for Joe´s behavior?"

Levon shrugged. "Well, everything was fine until yesterday. But since Joe got that letter he´s been acting more than weird. I guess he went to the Mesa to read whatever was in it."

"You mean he feigned being sick yesterday to stay away from the office?" She seemed miffed.

"No, he really didn´t seem well when I checked on him last night. But I think there was more to the trip to the mesa than just a casual cruise and a car that ran out of gas."

"That would account for some of his behavior." Joanne frowned. "Somehow I can´t shake the feeling that we haven´t seen the end of it yet."

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The Stardust was one of the big old hotels in Las Vegas. It provided rooms for hundreds of fortune seekers on their quests at the roulette and card tables or one-armed bandits. Nationalities of the clients were wide-ranging and at times exotic. The sheer number of people granted sufficient anonymity.

Joe felt strange signing the register with the maiden name of his grandmother. But he knew it was important to go by the rules Julia had set for their meeting.

"Mr. Lorenzo, I have a message for you." The concierge handed over an envelope and the key to the room.

"Thank you." Joe stuffed both into his jacket pocket. The flight had been uneventful but the closer he had gotten to his final destination the greater his nervousness had become.

Joe felt ambiguous about meeting Julia. His reaction to her letter had proven that he was far from over her. But he had made up his mind a long time ago that under the given circumstances they could have no shared future.

On the other hand he knew that he owed her this. She had written it was a matter of life or death. She had never dramatized or exaggerated things to manipulate others, that just wasn´t part of her personality.

He entered the room and threw down the baggage beside the bed. He retrieved the letter and ripped it open.

I will be waiting for you in room 568 at 3 pm. J.

He felt the butterflies flutter in his stomach. This morning he hadn´t been able to eat anything, and he still was too wound up with tension to do so now. He felt almost faint. He looked at his watch, another hour. While her image emerged from out of nowhere he shed his clothes, carelessly dropping them. His imagination was running wild, he felt like a teenager all of a sudden.

He flipped on the lights in the bathroom, turned on the water in the shower and stepped into the still cold spray, drawing in his breath at the sudden coldness. He breathed deeply while the water warmed and finally he relaxed under the warm downpour. He could almost imagine that it was not the water but her hands gently touching his skin…

If he didn´t stop his thoughts here and now he wouldn´t be able to hold himself back…

On impulse he turned the water to cold, his heated emotions taking flight. For a moment he endured the self-inflicted torture and welcomed the return of rationality. Finally he turned the temperature back up, soaped his body and hair and rinsed down the foam at length.

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The knock on the door started her up at 3 pm sharp.

Julia looked through the spy hole and there he stood, his hair still moist, casual slacks and simple teal colored shirt, his features tense.

She opened the door and he quickly stepped inside, pulling the door shut behind him.

They stood for an instant, taking in the picture of the other. They had both changed, had grown into adulthood. Still they could see all their youth in the other´s eyes, all their dreams, all their hopes and most of all their love for each other.

Simultaneously they made a step forward, arms opening automatically and pulling each other in. Julia was a good head smaller than Joe and he bent down to the face she turned up to meet him. Without a single word of greeting their lips met, tentatively yet tenderly touching.

After some kissing and hugging Joe scooped Julia up on his arms and carried her to the bed. Carefully he leveled her down and lay down beside her.

Julia had closed the curtains before he had come, and though the outside world was ablaze with the afternoon sun, the atmosphere of the room was cozy and the dim lighting softened their faces. For a long time they just lay there, facing each other, touching each other´s faces.

"Oh Jules, how could I ever leave you..." Joe closed his eyes and swallowed hard. This was not what he had wanted to say but it had slipped out and given his true feelings away.

"Tonio, I know, I feel the same way…" there were tears streaming from her eyes.

"Are you angry with me?" he whispered. "I can understand if you still are…" He ran a thumb over the wet traces on her cheek.

"No, I never was angry, just desperate. I know you had no choice." She breathed small kisses on his eyebrows and then on his eyes, which he closed with a sigh.

"But it was my choice that…" She placed her index finger on his lips to stop the flow of words.

"If you had become a mob guy you would probably be dead by now and I would be a widow." She looked into the deep teal windows that came open and drew her into an endless universe. "And I would rather die with you than have you make me a widow."

"I couldn´t become a wise guy, that was not the way for me." Joe buried his head at her neck, eagerly breathing in her scent, the scent he would recognize among a thousand others. As his breath tickled her neck he felt goose bumps forming on her silk soft skin. She giggled softly, just like she had done back then, when they had been teenagers, secretly caressing each other in her parent´s home.

But now she did not slap his hand away when he started to open her blouse. Instead she slowly unbuttoned his shirt and started to tenderly stroke his skin on shoulders, arms and chest. She felt him shudder and he started to moan. They were both feeling the rising heat and their breath quickened.

All of a sudden Joe drew back. At the back of his mind the question popped up, the question he had not been able to answer since he had opened her letter. "Jules, why did you want to meet me?"

She too held back for an instant, gathering her thoughts. "Tonio, I am going away. I can´t stay in Chicago any longer."

This was something he never would have expected. "Jules, are you sure? Where do you want to go? Do you think your father will let you leave?" He had over the years turned all the options for her over in his mind time and time again. But what she now had decided for herself was one he never would have taken into consideration.

"If I stay my dad will force me to marry Barberi. I hate that guy. I would rather kill myself."

"No, no Jules, don´t say that. Don´t ever say that." He looked frightened as he took her face into his hands, leaned in close and kissed her again.

"Don´t worry, I think I found a way out."

"What way? Really? How?" Joe sat up.

"I prepared to leave for a whole year now. I have it all planned out." Julia was excited to tell him everything. For a whole year she had not been able to talk to anyone.

"Where will you go, Jules, love? What will you do? I always thought…"

She smiled. "That´s what I thought too, always thought I was no good without my family. But they left me no choice. I have to find a way to live without them…" She nearly choked on the words.

"Just like I had to…" There was a hint of sadness in Joe´s voice. "Never would have thought it would come to that."

They sat on the bed, facing each other, holding on to each other.

Julia squeezed Joe´s hands. "How are you coping?"

He shrugged. "I do, somehow. I guess I´ve gotten used to being on my own, without my family."

"Are there any advantages to it?" Julia searched his face.

Joe thought for a moment, then nodded. "Yeah, I guess so. Didn´t realize at first, but now I see that the old connections are not tying me down anymore. I don´t have to hold back for the sake of the family, I can now finally make my own decisions."

She nodded. "When my mother died…"

"I´m sorry about that…"

"…you don´t have to be. She was a very clever woman. But I only found out when she was gone."

"What do you mean?"

"All her life my mom put aside money, money my father didn´t know about. I never would have guessed. You know, all these wise guys think that women are dependent. But they are not. I think many of them are quite clever. As I said, my mother put aside whatever she could. She did it for me. She left me almost half a million dollars. My dad doesn´t know about it. She wrote in a letter that she knew I would not be able to spend my life with the man I love. But she also knew that I would not be willing to submit to a man that I don´t love. She left me that money to lead an independent life."

Joe was baffled. He tried to gauge the possibilities. At last he pulled Julia close. "Oh Jules, what does that mean for you now?"

"I have prepared to get away, and tomorrow I´ll be gone. No one will be able to find me."

"Do you think you can manage?"

"I did not think I could at first. But I know even without a proper professional training I will be able to sustain myself. I will work in a nursing home. I already have a job where I will go to. But I can´t tell you where that will be. I have to be very careful about covering my tracks." Her face mirrored her ambiguous feelings. She felt a new freedom and value, being able to earn her own living. The fear that came with the new freedom was something she would have to learn to live with. It was, however, not as threatening as the fear of a life with a man she did not love.

Joe had difficulties grasping the implications. He knew what he had gone through, but how would Julia cope?

"How will I be able to find you, how will I know that you are ok?" He gently cupped her face.

"You remember what we said as children?"

He shook his head.

"Only God knows – Dio sol sa."

He nodded and there were tears in his eyes as she continued.

"Perhaps after a while I will be able to give you a sign, just like the one on the Chicago Tribune you gave me to let me know that you would come to meet me here." Julia smiled.

"Is there anything I can do for you?" Joe´s voice was desperate.

But Julia smiled. "Just be with me today, you did all you could by coming to meet me." She bent towards him and kissed him passionately.

Joe let himself be pulled onto the bed. They resumed exchanging tender caresses. Slowly they undressed each other, taking in every inch of naked warm skin. Their tongues intertwined, exploring each other´s mouths. Their warm breath clad each other´s nakedness. There was no shame, no holding back. The promise of their youthful dreams was at last crossing the threshold to final fulfillment.

Just a moment´s hesitation held Joe back as he felt a barrier before she finally surrendered. "Jules, am I hurting you? Are you still…"

"Don´t worry, it´s ok," Julia whispered, gritting her teeth, willing to make happen what she had not been willing to accept all those years ago. The rush of heated emotions swept away the instant of pain and enveloped her in the sweet surge of pleasure.

They had both denied those feelings for years and now, giving into that rising tide, they were swept off their feet. They drowned in each other´s lust and when the final release of pleasure made them scream they suddenly knew why this state was sometimes called the small death.

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Julia got up quietly. She looked down at Joe, the only man she had ever loved and the only one she had ever wanted to be with. There was a faint chance that this encounter had fathered the child she was hoping for, the only part of him she would be able to take with her to her new life, a new life in more than one sense of the word. But it would take some time before she could tell for sure if her wish had been granted.

Joe was deeply asleep and across his face played a sweet smile. She placed a tender kiss on his brow and wiped away the dark hair. Then she quickly dressed and took a picture of herself out of her purse. She slid it into the pocket of Joe´s shirt.

With one last look back she opened the bathroom door and slipped inside. The bathroom had another door to the next room which could be used if the rooms were let as a suite. Julia had been here with her parents and her sisters a few years ago. Planning her escape she had remembered the layout of the rooms. She opened the door and entered the adjacent room, locking the door behind her with a key.

In the neighboring room she quickly put on the uniform of a chamber maid that was lying on the bed. She put her own clothes into a laundry sack and from a plastic bag retrieved a blond wig. In front of the mirror she donned it, taking care to thoroughly hide her own dark curls under the fake hair. She was surprised at how different she looked.

For a moment she listened at the door to the corridor. Everything was quiet. She opened the door and looked to the left. The way to the emergency staircase was free. She peeked to the right. At the far end of the corridor stood a man, dressed in a black suit. He almost looked like one of Salvo´s muscles, but she was not sure. All of a sudden there was a loud commotion around the corner to the left as a drunk couple loudly started to fight. For an instant the attention of the man in black was diverted. He turned his back to her. Quickly she headed for the emergency staircase. When she had passed half the distance the guy turned around and noticed her. He took in the blond hair and uniform and dismissed her as an object of interest, again looking around the corner to the fighting couple. Julia continued on her way, trying not to seem nervous. Finally she was able to close the door to the stair case behind her. Then she leaned against the door with her back and drew a deep breath. She felt shaky. What if they found Tonio? She tried to chase the thought away. Tonio was a cop, he would know how to handle things. While she quickly jumped down the stairs she pulled a trench coat out of the plastic bag she was carrying. She put it over the uniform. In the basement she headed right for the staff exit, went out and walked away into the darkness without looking back.