Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or anything related or from it. All copyrights belong to Noriaki 'Tite' Kubo. I only own the plot.

Pairings: ByaRen

Warnings: None

December 12, 2011; Beta-ed by Kahewei.

Fairy

Renji glared up at Byakuya with his arms crossed, his wings bristling in irritation.

"What do ya think? I'm a fuckin' fairy. And here I thought humans were smart."

Byakuya frowned. He still couldn't believe he was talking to a "fairy" that was five inches in height, had flaming red hair in a spiky ponytail, and was wearing autumn-colored clothing that appeared to be made out of maple leaves. Not to mention said "fairy" looked like a thug and acted like one too.

"You are mistaken. I am not a human. I am a shinigami. Are you certain you are a fairy? I thought they did not exist."

"Hell yes. Can't ya see my damn wings?" Renji fluttered his lovely black, slightly transparent wings purposely, making them catch in the candlelight. "And, technically, you're not supposed to exist either."

"Aa. And you are a forest fairy?"

"Yes. How many times do I have to say it, you damn noble?" Renji flitted up and poked Byakuya in the nose. "And, can we get back on topic?"

"Very well. What is your reason for disturbing my sleep?"

Byakuya was sitting up on his futon after being poked awake by the red-haired fairy. He still couldn't believe Rukia had made friends with a fairy years ago and found this same fairy again.

"You, sir, are an ass. You need to be a better brother," Renji scowled. "Rukia been tellin' me how lonely she's been. Gods know why she respects you so damn much when you don't give a damn—hey—"

Byakuya had grabbed a hold of Renji and was examining his clothing.

"Stop that," yelled Renji, as one hand begin to lift his clothing. "What are you? Some kinda pervert?"

"Hardly," he replied absentmindedly. The clothing was strangely flexible and soft despite it being made out of leaves. "Where did you get these clothes?"

Renji tried to pull himself free, still trapped and being scrutinized. "I made them. It's not like I could go and buy clothes. And, let go of me, damnit."

Byakuya pulled off Renji's hair ribbon, and crimson strands cascaded down. He ran two fingers through them, and found it surprisingly silky.

"Ouch."

Renji glared at Byakuya, blood on his lips, his mouth an inch away from the bleeding cut on the captain's pale finger. "Serves you right, you damn bastard. Lemme go."

Byakuya contemplated the feisty fairy for a moment, and decisively nodded his head.

"Very well. You can stay."

"What do you mean I can stay?"

Renji yelped as Byakuya suddenly got out of bed and begun walking down the corridor. "W-wait, where are you taking me?"

"I am going to find a cage to put you in. I have decided that you will make a suitable companion for Rukia. I will ask the blacksmith to fashion a more suitable cage for you tomorrow."

"I'm not a fucking bird you can put in a cage."

Minutes later found Renji aggressively shaking his cage, and yelling profanities at a slumbering black-haired taicho. Renji really didn't want to know how he got into this mess, but one thing was for sure. He was going to blame this all on Rukia and make plans to put spider silk, no, wait, caterpillar slime in Byakuya's hair.