This story is mine I have taken liberties with mods and Bioware npc's as well as the game.

I give credit for much of this story's content to others but the idea is mine as is Nemesis.

My take on the game and mods is purely my own perspective. The idea is to tell the

npc's story within the general framework of the game and some of the mods others

have made for it.

Waking up in Suldenesselar is a welcome relief. I don't know if Hell was a dream or real. I am whole I feel it. I got my soul from that bastard and sent him to the depths of hell.

Damn Ellisime for her ineptitude in dealing with him in the first place. For a woman supposedly half god she is a really bad judge of character. Softness doesn't have a place for one who tried genocide on his own people.. I don't care if he was her lover.. her duty as a queen to her people should have superceded. Death would have been a kinder fate for him anyway... and saved me a lot of pain.

I am quiet noting Anomen and Tsujatha are dozing on either side of the room. I don't want to wake them I need to think about so many things..

My life has been a blur since Candlekeep. I feel like I've been fighting since the day I left there chasing something deep and dark. Or was I running away?

I could have simply went to Waterdeep or Neverwinter or any other place in Faerun at any point before Irenicus stole my soul. Was I fighting for what was right?.. or was I fighting against myself?

Or perhaps the real answer was I don't want to face what I am. I am Nemesis and I am a Child of Bhaal, Lord of Murder.. I'm not a saintly paladin.. nor am I an assassin.. I don't claim to be anything lawful. I am a thief... a very good one.. I love my swords. I'm proud of my katanas I've practiced them since I could lift a sword. I have two of the finest in all of Faerun. People recognize me because of those heavily enchanted blades.

I take pride in my swordsmanship, I've studied with the finest swordsmen and read every treatise on swordsmanship I could get my hands on. I love to read, perhaps it was growing up in the finest library on Al Toril. I took advantage of a goodly portion of those tomes there.

I am proud of most of the things I have done. I've made some good friends.. lost some comrades I cared much for.

I travel with some of the most powerful adventurers in Faerun.

Anomen warrior priest of Helm, a master of the war hammer.

Tsujatha an elven necromancer prince from another plane.

Valygar also a master of dual katana, ranger extraordinaire.

Kivan also a ranger and a virtuoso of the longbow.

And last but not least Solafein the Drowven fighter mage.

Sigh, I don't know what to say about my love life.. Its a complicated tightrope I walk. Somewhere deep inside I want a partner and lover a 'soul mate'. I like waking up with a man, I enjoy lovemaking, perhaps that tainted blood is hotter than normal.. or mine is anyway. I don't want to hurt anyone but thus far I've not found the 'one'. Growing up in Candlekeep I am at ease with men...all the priests, warriors, scholars, and soldiers there, were predominantly male. I know all of my troop intimately. I know each one would like to be the 'only' one. I care about them all. Each one is special.. Am I being unrealistic.. ?

Anomen adores me, a knight, a decent lover.. I don't think I would suit. Ano needs a wife, and a home. I don't think I can be the woman that makes his life complete.. I did choose him over the immature Kelsey, who was not my type at all. Ano needs a woman who has a lot more patience than I possess and a lot less temper. I need someone with a bit more excitement. Ano needs too much reassurance.

I don't have believe I would be a good match for a cleric. Playing second place to his faith is not in

my nature. I know Ano would wish I would change my mind.

I do appreciate his skills as an adventurer. I need him in the group.

Tsujatha is wonderful in so many ways, perhaps I will choose him..His hang up with Sillara bothers me..

I wonder if she changed her mind, and he could return to her, would he?.. I don't do well with second best. That is a decision for a later time. He has so many of the qualities I look for in a man. He is

intense, passionate, he would make me the center of his world. Tsu is both a poet and a warrior. We

suit well philosophically. We see the world in much the same way, we both love books, and are not

bound to convention. He is also an elf, it would be a good match with a similar aging process. Tsu

is also complex I find that attractive. I don't know if he is a soul mate? Wouldn't I feel it?

Valygar is simple. We are friends with benefits when it suits.. We share a fear of our 'taint' his family are crazy mages or.. just generally crazy..Neither of us are looking at each other as a long term relationship. He needs a gentler woman with a better appreciation of nature... I like room service and convenience.. I think he should get to know Aerie.

Kivan is still pining for his dead wife.. I found comfort with him on occasion but again we are friends. I wouldn't be surprised if someday he and Jaheria comforted each other.

I want to feel safe and complete, irreplaceable, unique.. Sigh I want the man who haunts my dream ... I don't mean Irenicus. I don't know if he exists.. or even could exist.. If he did, could I trust him? Murder, betrayal, loss, so many complications lie between us.. Not to mention he is dead by my hand. He is my half brother of a sort. There are lot of issues. I knew I would find him in hell. The Abyss, What would that place do to him?. He was not a good man to start with. Is it only a dream? Are the feelings only

a barrier I put up to keep others at bay? Is it one sided? Those dying whispered words haunt me.

Solafein desires me, he is a bit of an enigma .. I do think part of his infatuation is gratitude I don't want him on a permanent basis.. We did have a great night in Ust Natha.. I will just leave it at that. Perhaps I should leave him with Viconia. She could teach him about the light world. She has mellowed a bit since I first met her.. or perhaps I got to know her better.

I do have to decide about Tsujatha soon he is wanting a commitment.. At present he is sharing my bed.

I have been honest with all of them. I have been brutally frank in my relationships . I don't take any

of them lightly. I have always been prone to nightmares and my experiences with Irenicus made

that worse. I wouldn't call myself a lightskirt, but I do think sex is a natural function of life, a basic

need like any other. Sharing pleasure with someone you like is perfectly acceptable as long as there

is no breach of promise or a commitment with another. It hasn't always been an easy way. Ajantis

was not able to reconcile with my refusal to make a firm bond with him. When he found I was a

Bhaal spawn he chose to leave my troupe. I think he thought the taint might rub of on him. Our

parting was a cold one. I will be the first to admit I dislike sleeping alone. I most often chose

lovers from my troupe because they were men I knew. liked. and trusted.

I do miss Immy she fell in the battle of Suldenessalar before Irenicus. I sent Jaheira away after we got out of Irenicus' chamber of horrors. I felt she needed to get away from us. Khalid's death was difficult, and I was uncomfortable with her. I do miss her.. She is the closest thing to a mother I've ever had.

So many have passed through my adventures and each taught me something.. Yeslick, Keldorn, Haer

Dalis, Aerie, Viconia, Edwin, Nalia and so many others have travelled with me. Every one of them gave

me a different way to see, and understand people and even myself.

Minsc is always available for a while.. He may be simple but is loyal and always a good addition. He makes me smile. There are never any complications with Minsc.

Ano and Tsu look tired I wonder how long I have been out. I don't want to stay here. I don't like Ellisime.

OH NO..

I don't know what to do or where to go.. For the first time in a long long time I am not being driven by fate..

Perhaps I shouldn't think that or fate will take it as a challenge.. I will decide where to go in a while a rest does sound good, at least for a time..

Smiling at my guardians I stir enough to make a rustle.. Ano and Tsu both leap to my side..

'My lady' Ano exclaims a wide smile on his handsome face.

NEMESIS! Tsujatha grabs my hand, eyes shining.

Enjoying the attention... my thoughts fade away to here and now.