NCIS: LOS ANGELES

Disclaimer- I do not own NCIS: Los Angeles

CHAPTER 2

Nell was sitting in her chair typing frivolously at the keyboard. Their case was long over so he figured she was doing some "private" work for Hetty.

Eric's assumptions were proven correct as when she noticed his presence in the room she tapped twice on the keyboard and the screen went blank of whatever she was searching. She turned in her chair slightly to acknowledge him with an apologetic smile on her face at having to keep something from him. But he understood completely. Everyone there at headquarters had their secrets.

"What's up?" she asked with a wide smile

Looking at her beautiful face made his heart hurt even more knowing that in less than forty hours he would have to leave it for who knows how long. He tried to smile back normally however. "Nothing," he replied "I just had to tell Hetty something, it's not important." He lied

Nell's smile slowly faded to an uncertain one. Eric's eyes refused to meet hers and something about the way he smiled back was off.

"You sure everything's alright you seem a bit distracted?" he still refused to meet her gaze

"Yeah Nell everything's fine…I think I'm just a little tired, this week's case was exhausting, nothing a few hours of sleep couldn't fix though."

Nell wasn't convinced. He was holding something back, he had been all week but whenever she tried to question him about it either something in the case came up or he would change the subject. She was always unsure as to where her concern for him would cross a line of being too concerned to be convincing as "just a friend" so she had just stopped asking if he was ok after the first few days of him acting oddly. Her worry never stopped, but she got the hint. He didn't want to talk about it and she tried to respect that.

"Ok" she said awkwardly trying to move past the silence "Well you should head home then maybe and get some rest, you don't want Hetty to find you slumped over a computer, you'll probably have hell to pay." She joked

Eric heard her attempt at a joke but didn't laugh. He just couldn't find humor in the reality of the situation that she had no clue of yet. But then he realized he couldn't do this right now, he couldn't say goodbye to her and so he took her "joke" as a way out of leaving. "You know what Nell your right I probably should head out now," He began closing the various files on his computer and then grabbed his work bag and slung it over his body.

Nell watched as he moved quickly around her, she wasn't stupid she could tell when someone was trying to avoid someone and right now Eric was acting like she was the plague.

"Eric, stop" Nell spoke softly but clearly a demand

"What?" he asked while starting to rummage through his bag for his car keys

She stood and moved forward, hesitating for a moment before reaching out her hand to stop his that was moving through his bag. They both immediately felt a tingling sensation from the contact that could not be ignored. Nell quickly moved her hands behind her back embarrassed but continued "Stop." she repeated "All week you've been acting weird around me, almost like you're trying to avoid me."

"What are you talking about, no I haven't" he said

She could tell he was lying but instead of becoming irritated like she should have she felt offended. She cared for Eric. She wasn't especially sure if he felt something for her though as it seemed like from the moment they met he'd been trying to keep his distance from her as best he could by always remaining professional. The fact that he was doing so poorly a job at clearly trying to get away from her and lying to her face about it just made her feel worse.

"Then why haven't you looked at me once since you came in here?" she asked but couldn't hide the hurt in her voice

When he heard the wavering in her voice he knew he had gone about this the wrong way. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt her. Looking into her hazel eyes he could see confusion and pain already laced there. So he stopped, like she asked him to, and prepared himself to be strong in telling her the truth.

"I don't know how else to tell you this so I'm just going to say it" he looked at her then directly for the first time since he'd entered the room "I'm going to have to leave NCIS"

Nell felt as if her heart had stopped. 'He was leaving her, no he was leaving NCIS is what he said. He probably couldn't care less that he would not see her again, they were only friends after all nothing more. Right?' Did she even have a right to feel as distraught as she did right now?

She tried to remain composed on the outside but inside she was shaken completely. "Oh." was all she said

He tried to read her expression but she had taken on a blank composure.

"I don't understand, I though liked it here." She said this time she couldn't control the shakiness in her voice. She was now looking down at her hands, fumbling with them.

"Well that's not really the point in this situation, I love NCIS and I plan to come back…eventually" At this said Nell was now confused, 'He said he was coming back? So it wasn't a new job, what the hell was he talking about?' she thought

"Ok Eric, you're gonna have to stop being cryptic and just tell me straight out what's going on" she said

He looked down for a moment, shuffling his hands into his jean pockets before looking up. "I've been keeping something from everyone, I only just told the rest of the team downstairs. I...I have been enlisted in the U.S army since I was eighteen. About four years ago I was sent home. What I was involved with overseas required time and delicacy and it wasn't until this week that I received notice that I could finally come back and finish what was started four years ago.

He watched her carefully; her emotions seemed to range from shock to awestruck to something else that he couldn't quite decipher other than knowing that the look had him concerned. She wasn't speaking.

"Nell?"

"You're joking right?" she asked her voice heavy with emotion.

Eric had to chuckle at that question with no humor, "Is it really that hard to believe that I'm in the army?" his mouth smiled where his green eyes didn't.

The truth was Nell could believe it very much and that's what scared her. She was very observant especially when it came to Eric. She'd noticed that he was incredibly fit. She'd even seen him exiting the gym at headquarters early in the morning before the rest of the team would arrive almost as if making sure he wasn't caught working out. She'd often wondered why he never became a field agent, knowing that he would be able to handle himself very well in the field. She could easily see him in army fatigues, she could see him fighting, she could see him risking his life, and she could see him possibly not making it back alive.

Eric couldn't tell what was going on in the light brown haired beauties head and he was about to question her when she turned away from him suddenly returning to her computer and sitting down.

"Nell?" he inquired hadn't gouged this reaction.

Nell was desperately trying to fight back tears; she couldn't let him see her cry. If he did then he would know how deeply her affections went for him and she couldn't let him know that, because he obviously didn't feel the same. If he had there was no way he would have mere minutes ago been trying to leave without telling her goodbye, and knowing that he had in fact been about to leave without telling her hurt even more than him not returning her feelings. He said he had told the others downstairs already, meaning that they at least had meant enough to him that he would tell them that he was going to fight a war, where as it seemed she was not. 'How could she not have seen this, she loved him while it seems she was nothing more than a colleague to him, not even worth notice of his impending departure to a place where he, quite possibly, might not come back from.

"Nell are you ok?" she heard him slowly approach her from behind but needed to make him stop, if he came any closer she wasn't sure if she'd be able to keep it together.

"I'm fine Eric" she said guardedly "When do you leave?"

Eric didn't expect her distant speech towards him but answered her nonetheless "I'm scheduled to deploy the day after tomorrow…0800 hours. That's what I was talking to Hetty about…todays my last day…I'm taking tomorrow to settle my some last minute things with my apartment before I leave."

He was breaking her with every word 'So he truely had been ready to leave without telling her, he had just said himself that he wasn't coming in the next day so if she had not stopped him minutes ago he really would have just gone without a goodbye.' she made herslef stay strong though despite this revelation. "How long will you be gone?"

"I'm not sure…it could be months, maybe a year" he said

"A year?" she asked in horror

He took a deep breath before continuing, "give or take that is…" he said trailing off

She couldn't take this anymore, she needed him to leave because she really couldn't let him see her shed a tear and she could feel them building up quickly. "You know what, you're probably right you did look tired today Eric, maybe you should head home and get some rest."

He was caught off guard with the flip in conversation and the fact that it seemed like she was dismissing him.

She continued, "I guess I'll see you whenever you get back huh?" she had no idea where she found the strength to say this and act like she didn't care, but she did. Finally turning around to face him she put on her best act and gave him a smile. "Just try not to get into trouble, I know the rest of the team will be worrying about you when you're gone."

Eric wasn't sure exactly what he had been expecting as Nell's reaction to his news but this completely threw him through a loop. She didn't even look sad at the news as the others had. He had at least expected a hug or possibly her volunteering to see him off at the airport as he knew the rest of the team would go. 'and the way she said the rest of the team would be worried about him, was that implying that she would not be concerned about him?' That thought made him feel gloomy 'Did she really not care?' Either way however he was glad she had finally turned back to face him. If this could be the last time he'd see her face, he wanted to memorize every inch of it. He could feel his heart thudding knowing the words that he'd have to say to her that he dreadfully didn't want to.

"So…I guess this is goodbye Nellie." He said in a barely audible voice that almost broke Nell's act with the agony his words brought. But she just had to hold it together a little bit longer.

"See ya." She said simply and then quickly swiveled back around in her chair as she did and began typing on her computer again.

He looked at the back of her head and couldn't help but feel that something was wrong, and as he was about to question her on it he quickly stopped himself realizing that there probably was nothing wrong other than his heart aching at her seeming to brush off his deployment like he was just leaving to run an errand and would be back in a few hours. 'He would miss her even if she would not miss him.'

For a second she heard nothing but her keyboard as she typed, but then after a few moments she heard footsteps leading out of the room and down the stairs.

When she was sure he was gone she allowed herself to get up and move towards the door that led to the ladies room. She quickly locked the door behind her once inside and as soon as the lock clicked she found herself unable to hold in her emotions any longer. A single tear turned into several, than several turned into many, and soon she was sobbing. Her back slid down the bathroom door until she reached the floor, where the ends of her dress pooled around her. She clutched at her heart as it quite literally began to throb in pain. It was damaged and the only one who was capable of fixing it was the one who had done the breaking.

It was midnight and drizzling. It practically never rained in Los Angeles except for this time during the winter, and despite the rain lightly pelting on his rain jacket's back, Eric sat outside on Nell Jones' doorstep waiting for her. After he left Ops he went straight home. His apartment was almost completely empty as he had most of his things already in storage. With only a few more boxes to pack he was in the middle of placing some books in a box when he finally decided that he'd stop fighting his thoughts of her that had been plaguing him since he left headquarters.

Something had definitely seemed wrong with Nell before he left which was the reason why he was now camped out on doorstep waiting for her to get home from work. He knew he needed to focus on his upcoming mission, it was a serious assignment and he couldn't afford any mistakes, but he also couldn't afford to leave with everything between him and Nell not being ok.

About five minutes later he saw the headlights of her car pull into her street and park in front of the curb. He decided to wait till she got out to show his presence but she did not get out right away. Moments later he realized why as he watched in horror as she hung her head all the while gripping the steering wheel like she was holding on for dear life and then silent tears begin to roll down her cheek.

Eric was in shock at first but when the tears turned into sobs he couldn't get to her fast enough. He rushed into the rain, which was beginning to pick up, and walked around to the driver's door and knocked firmly.

She startled for a moment before looking into his eyes and then shock and dismay playing over her face as she realized who it was.

"What are you doing here?" she asked as she rubbed hard at her tears with her sweater sleeve, leaving angry red marks on her face in the process.

He didn't answer her question instead asking one of his own "What's wrong Nell, are you ok?" the concerned panic was clear in his voice

She didn't answer and that scared him, making him think the worst of what could have possibly happened this late at night that might leave her crying.

"Nell, please open the door." He needed to see her fully to make sure she was indeed ok

Instead though he watched as her eyes narrowed at him sadly but almost defensively too. She then looked down from his gaze. "Go away Eric I…I don't want to see you." She stammered out

With that she then quickly moved across the console to the passenger door and was out of the car in a flash. As soon as she stepped out of the car she began to get wet from the rain. She hurried to reach her front door but should have guessed that he wouldn't just leave.

He hurried to catch her by the elbow firmly, not enough to hurt her but enough so that she wouldn't get away. He spun her around to face him.

"Nell, whoa, just hold on a second what happened between when I left at work till now that you're running away from me?" he could now tell that whatever this was had nothing to do with a possibly attack on her during the night, but quite possibly something to do with him.

"Let me go!" she yelled while yanking her arm roughly from his grasp. She hadn't intended her reaction to come out so fiercely but in that moment it was too much to have him touching her, being that was exactly what she wanted. Him to touch her and never let go.

Her level of anger surprised him and he let her go the same moment she pulled away aggressively, she went stumbling backwards into the puddle beneath her, dropping her bag and the folder in her hand in the process.

"Nell! shit, I'm so sorry." Eric rushed to help her up but she pushed his hands away.

"I said leave me alone Eric." She cried "Just go! Please just go." Her voice cracked as she spoke

Eric didn't know everything he was feeling right now, but terrified was definitely one of them. Nell had always had a smile on her face, never upset, especially not with him let alone yelling at him. As he watched her on her knees in the rain getting completely soaked as she tried to collect her fallen things he felt desperately helpless. He came here to make sure everything was cool between them but it seemed as though the problem was him all along. He rubbed his forehead in frustration. He had to fix this, whatever he had done. He couldn't leave with her mad at him, never mind being able to do his job properly if he was worrying about her back home in the states.

She stood up finally having collected the fallen papers and her bag, which were now soaked through and through, and quickly turned to head towards her door.

Eric tried one last time making sure not to touch her again though, in fear of her reaction. If she didn't want to speak to him this time he would respect that and leave no matter how much it would bother him to do so. But if she let him stay, he'd make sure they were going to talk about whatever the hell was going on with them and he wouldn't leave until he was satisfied their friendship at least was still in tact. "Nell…please." She could hear the distress in his voice, "Please." He repeated

She didn't face him but he watched her carefully as she walked to her front door opening it. She unlocked it and entered and then turned to look at him. With her hand on the knob and tears in her eyes she opened the door wider and let him in.

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