Title: Destiny is Laughing
Rating: T (subject to change as the story progresses)
Pairings: probable Arthur/Merlin (possible other pairings as the story progresses)
Warnings: language, AU, fem/Merlin, mild violence (subject to expansion as the story progresses)
Disclaimer: really hasn't changed since last chapter, and will not change for the rest of the chapters, so I'm not repeating the fact that I don't own Merlin, make no money off this, and all characters herein belong to history and the BBC, except minor OC's who are just there as filler, but they're not really impressive so I'm not taking credit for them either... and you can't make me!
"'Oh dear'? No... No, no, no! You do NOT get to say 'Oh dear' in that tone of voice!"
"Merlin I'm going to need you to step away from the mirror," Gaius ignored the rising panic in his ward's voice.
Merlin didn't budge, simply continued to stare at the strange young woman in the mirror. Her dark hair fell in a frame around her face before disappearing over her shoulders to spill down her back. She had high cheekbones, but they led to a chin that was soft and rounded along the edges, unlike Merlin's more sharply angled jaw. The lips were shaped much like Merlin's, except her mouth was not as wide. The top line was also a bit fuller, giving the red lips the appearance of a pout as a result. The mirror did not extend beyond the top of her shoulders and the hint of a dip between the soft swells on her chest that were captured by the white of a bandage. So the creamy curve of shoulders was revealed while the rest of her body was hidden from view. She had blue eyes that were disturbingly familiar to the warlock. Merlin raised one hand to the mirror watching the girl mimic his own action.
Merlin's eyes fell down to stare at the hand he had raised to the mirror. It was smaller than it had ever been before. The fingers were still long and narrow, but no longer were they squared, instead tapering to a delicate set of nails. Like everything he had examined so far, his arms were smaller and rounder than they had been before. He examined his own chest to find a small valley between soft swells that were captured by a white bandage upon his chest. Hesitating for a moment, he allowed his hand fall to the front of his pants only to find his biggest fear confirmed- a very significant portion of his body was no longer accounted for.
"Merlin you should sit down for a moment."
"My reflection isn't broken is it?" the words fell from numb lips. "This is real. I'm a girl. I'm really a girl." His voice cracked every time he said the word 'girl'. "Gaius I'm a GIRL!"
"You were injured and I need to check the bruises on your back," Gaius's voice was a little bit desperate.
"Bruises?" Merlin snapped in an incredulous voice. He spun around to face his mentor and gesture to his body as if the old man had not noticed the sudden change in his appearance. "I'm a girl and you're worried about some bruises? Why am I a girl? What the hell did that damn sorcerer do to me?"
"Merlin, language," Gaius scolded out of reflex. At Merlin's unfriendly expression, he cleared his throat.
"Of course if any situation calls for it, this one does," he conceded weakly.
"Damn straight it does," Merlin agreed unimpressed by Gaius's disapproving brow.
"Although I'd appreciate it if you kept such comments to a minimum."
"What happened to me?"
"Whatever caused this; let's deal with the more immediate problems until we can figure out and fix... Your entire back was black and beginning to swell when Arthur brought you in yesterday. Do you recall exactly what caused your injury?"
"Of course I recall what happened. I was flung into a tree," Merlin crossed his arms in disapproval at his guardian's lack of sufficient panic over the fact that He. Was. A. Girl.
"Yes, we figured that much. Do you remember how it happened?" Gaius grabbed Merlin's arm and began to steer him away from the mirror.
"Um, there were the knights all fighting. They attacked each other, and while they were distracted a sorcerer tried to cast a spell at Arthur. He said some stuff I couldn't hear so I only caught the bit he shouted at the end. I knocked Arthur over so he wouldn't be hit but it got me instead. I raised a shield to block it, but part of his spell broke through and it knocked me back. The red bit rebounded on the sorcerer and he died. THe knights all collapsed and I didn't see what happened after that."
"And do you remember what he said?" the old man asked urgently. "This could be important to figuring out what happened to you."
"Um, yeah… I remember it exactly. He said 'naefre biþ gecennan samod mæg' and then flung this ball of red and pink at Arthur. Do you know what that means Gaius?"
"No, not off hand. I'll have to look that up and see if I can find what it means, but first things first. Let's get your back taken care of. Honestly I'm surprised you're up and about after the hit you took," Gaius shook his head. "In any event I need you to remove your bandage and lay down on the bed. I'm going to go get some more salve and come see how it looks."
Gaius ducked out of the door before Merlin could protest. After a moment of staring at the closed door, Merlin shook his head, ignoring the way his hair brushed over his shoulders. A quick examination of the bandage revealed that the end was tucked in under the top layer just above his pants. His entire torso was swathed in white gauze; surely the damage hadn't extended that far? Trying very hard not to think about anything at all, he began to unwind the bandage. Now that he was trying to move his arms more, he began to feel dull shots of pain tugging at his back and shoulders as he unraveled himself. It wasn't unbearable though, so he disregarded it.
"Great. Just great. This is not how I pictured having a girl in a state of undress in my room for the first time," he mumbled, feeling completely miserable. "Nothing can happen normally for me can it?"
He paused as the last bit of bandage fell away from is chest and stared. Curious despite himself he began to examine the new additions to his body. He poked one finger into the fleshy mound on the right watching the way it trembled. He cupped one with a hand and leaned his head down to stare at the nipple. It was bigger than the one he had as a male, and – he gasped- considerably more sensitive. He raised his finger to try brushing it again, but froze before it made contact. No. Absolutely not. This was not normal, and Gaius was coming back in a moment and there was no way he was going to get caught fondling his own breasts. That would just be beyond the weird that things currently were. He dropped the breast he was cupping and flung himself onto his bed. Damn it! He shifted around until he was resettled comfortably, without feeling like his chest was being crushed. He cushioned his head on his arms and settled in to wait. As he was waiting he realized that his body felt heavy… very nearly as heavy as his eyelids.
Several voices in the room below his own jerked him out of the light doze he hadn't realized he had fallen into. Why were there so many voices in Gaius's chambers? Merlin tried to gather his thoughts. Oh of course, Gaius was treating the knights after yesterday's battle with the knights. A familiar voice cut through the crowd. Arthur. Merlin smiled and stretched at the familiar sound of Arthur barking out orders. Then Merlin's shot upright, ignoring the dull pain radiating through his back at sudden the movement. Arthur! He couldn't possibly risk Arthur barging into his room and seeing him like this. Looking around the room quickly, no there was no where for him to hide except, yeah that would work. He grabbed the blanket from the bed to wrap around himself (because darned if he would get caught half naked if he was caught) and then shimmied under the bed. Eww, he really needed to clean up under here more often. He settled the blanket so that a bit was bunched under his head and then stilled, straining to hear. The sounds in Gaius's work chambers were more muffled from under the bed, so there was no chance that he was going to be able to make out what anyone down the stairs was saying now, but he was hardly going to go strolling out there to see what was going on. He let his head to the floor with a thud. Here he was hiding under his bed from his best friend and, oh yeah, boss because he'd been cursed. He'd thought his day had been miserable before.
"Gaius?" Arthur called as he rapped on the physician's door. He was running behind that morning since his normal servant was incapacitated. Having a strange and untrained servant come to tend him that morning left him feeling irritable. There were no jokes, or taunts exchanged, only a quiet and efficient silence from the servant in question. What had been his name? Evan? Ivan? Well, Arthur was going to make sure the boy wasn't going to tend him after that performance this morning. He had been way too… efficient. In fact no one but Merlin was ever going to attend him ever again. He'd just deal with things himself until Merlin came back to work.
The door opened. Gaius stood back, beckoning him in with one hand. Arthur glanced about the room. His knights sat and stood in various postures of attention around the room, some speaking quietly, others avoiding each other nervously. Arthur didn't see Merlin anywhere.
"Ah Sire. There you are. I was just about finished with your knights. All but three are cleared to return to practice today."
"Three? I thought Percival was the worst."
"Yes he was the worst, but it would seem that Alfric is showing signs of confusion. I fear he may have been hit harder than we had realized before. And then there is Leon's leg. His cut isn't very deep but it does seem to have gotten a slight infection. I've given them all medicine, and of course Alfric's servant is going to have to tend him for the day and keep on him to make sure his condition doesn't worsen, but he has returned to his own quarters as per his request."
"Is that safe?"
"Lucas will tend him and he has strict instructions on how to care for him and to come and get me the instant he notices any change in Alfric's behavior. It's not an extreme case, a very mild concussion, so I see no reason why he should not return to his quarters to recover when he has someone willing to care for him there."
"Good, that's good then. Hear that? The rest of you lot have to report for practice," Arthur informed his men. There was a chorus of groans that met this announcement. Arthur smirked at the expected response.
"However I am a generous man, so practice will be postponed until tomorrow when we are all completely rested. Now stop cluttering up Gaius's chambers so the man can work."
Cheers met his announcement. And all of his knights trooped out, several clapping him on the shoulder, or bowing their heads in respect as they passed. All of them had looked at him with an apology in their eyes. They were going to have to work through the damage that sorcerer's action had caused the morale among his men. Tomorrow would be soon enough. Today they would hopefully take some time to just keep each other company or to contemplate their relationships within the unit. Or maybe they'd just sleep all day and go get drunk in the tavern that night. Eh, whatever worked to bring them back together before he had to come up with a speech rousing enough to put their lingering guilt at ease.
Finally he found himself alone with Gaius.
"How's Merlin?"
"He's resting still. I took some medicine to him this morning. It has a tendency to induce sleep so the patient does not suffer during recovery."
"If he were awake he'd be flopping around moaning about how unfair life is or some such nonsense. It's probably a good thing." A beat of silence and then, "Can I see him?"
"Ah… it's probably best if you don't sire. The medicine is meant to cause sleep, but knowing Merlin he'd be the one case in a hundred who is capable of waking up under the effects of the potion if disturbed, and frankly I'm unwilling to risk it."
"Of course not," Arthur agreed quickly. "How long do you think it will take him to recover?"
"That is uncertain at this point sire. It could be several days before he is up and about. I am still unable to determine whether or not there is damage in his back, never mind spell damage he may have incurred from attacking a sorcerer."
Several days just to find out if he was going to be ok? What a horrible thought! If Merlin was gone for too long he'd have to put up with what's his name. Oh sure he didn't have to keep him round for everything he put on Merlin but he would still need him to bring up his breakfast and draw his baths, and if Uther found some death to celebrate between now and then he would have to be tended at any banquets. Really, what had Merlin been thinking getting in the middle of a battle with knights and a sorcerer? Of course he feeling put out because now he was inconvenienced by Merlin's ailment. That was all the tight feeling in his chest meant; it was his annoyance at having to deal with what's his name. Of course that was all it was.
"Merlin?" Gaius's voice broke disrupted his wallowing in his own despair and he rather resented the interruption.
"Are they gone?" Merlin asked, refusing to move if there was even the slightest chance that he was going to be seen the way he was by anyone other than himself and Gaius.
"All of them. I told Arthur you were still too injured to have visitors and that it would be a few days yet before you'd be able to get up and about."
"Bless you!" Merlin began to pull himself out from underneath the bed, clutching the blanket around him as he stood straight. "I don't know what I would have done had Arthur seen me like this. And this'll give us some time to research what to do about," he waved a hand that encompassed his new form.
"Yes, yes. I am good, aren't I? But I still need to look at your back, so please lay down. Erm, I think if you turn the blanket around so the middle covers you chest you can lay down so that the edges can be moved," the old man spoke awkwardly.
"Eh? Oh."
Gaius turned his back while his ward adjusted the blanket and lay down on the narrow bed. At Merlin's indication that he was decent and ready to be examined Gaius turned back around and settled on the edge of the bed. He brushed Merlin's hair out of the way and stared. The bruises on Merlin's back no longer covered the expanse of his back and had faded, only a faint brown tinged with yellow and green about the edges. Never in all his life had Gaius seen such a rapid reduction of swelling and bruising. He knew for a fact that the salve he applied was not that miraculous.
"How peculiar," Gaius murmured thoughtfully to himself.
"What's peculiar?" He raised his head a bit.
"Hmmmm, it would appear that your injury is healing at a rapid rate. It's almost like the bruising is weeks into recovery instead of just one day. I'm not certain if it's your own magic or the spell that hit you, but whatever it is seems to be accelerating the healing process. I wonder."
"What?" Merlin tensed. He felt his hair being shoved back out of the way by the back of one of Gaius's hands. Doubtlessly his fingers were all covered with that smelly gunk so Merlin reached up and pulled his hair down until it rested between his neck and shoulder out of the old man's way.
"Yes. That could be it. If the spell restructured your body, then it could have healed most of the damage in the process. Of course where the damage was not extreme it may simply have caused new growth."
"Oh. What does that mean?"
"It means, Merlin, that if the spell advanced the rate of healing and regrowth this might also explain the length of your hair and nails now."
"Oh. I had wondered about that. It didn't really make sense for a sorcerer to try and spell Arthur's hair long." Merlin brooded.
Gaius continued to rub foul smelling stuff onto Merlin's back. Neither talked while the old physician worked. The silence was broken briefly when Gaius told Merlin to sit up so he could apply fresh bandages. Finally he stood, telling Merlin that he was going to start looking for books that may have some kind of answer for them.
"Yeah, I'm going to have a quick mental breakdown. When I get finished with that I'll join you with the spell book and we can see if there's anything useful in there."
"I'll keep supper warm in case you finish breaking down before midnight."
End Notes: Thanks to all of you who left me a review even though I was a little dubious about the story myself. Knowing you were willing to actually leave a review really made me willing to keep going. If I could send cookies via internet you'd all be munching monster cookies right now. Ok gushy feelings out of the way, I must now check my list. Let's see; Merlin's spontaneous growth of long flowing locks when there's absolutely no reason for the magic to care about the length of his hair? Check. Justifiable excuse for a sorcerer to cast a spell that resulted in breasts instead of immediate death? Ah crappy. Looks like that'll have to wait till next time.