Rachel's heart thumped loudly in her chest as her eyes just gaped painfully at the shockingly sad image in front of her that was Quinn Fabray. It was as if the world had stopped turning in that moment, thoughts racing through her head as she did a few mental calculations. She threw her arms around Quinn suddenly as her bags fell urgently to the floor beneath them. Guilt began to lash throughout her whole body, twisting her gut sickeningly that she hadn't been there for her friend who was so obviously in need. Sure, she'd had no way of knowing that Quinn was this sick, possibly dying, because nobody had spoken to her in months, but she hadn't even tried to reach out to her until now - not even a simple phone call.
Tears slithered down both of the girl's faces as they embraced each other compassionately, both pairs of eyes squeezed tight mirroring the tight grasp that's they had around each other's waist, and neither one wanting to let go. Neither girl made a sound apart from the occasional soft whimper or a sniffle of noses, both trying to contain their cries. Their bodies shook together as they stood beneath the small, flowered canopy above Quinn's dorm room door, sun beating on their sides as it failed to protect them from the harsh summer's day.
Rachel couldn't remember how long they had stood outside the room savouring each other's touch and scent, but she soon found herself walking through the little kitchen diner and into the small, dark bedroom that belonged to Quinn. The murky brown curtains were pulled shut leaving a sepia gloom inside the place with the dim yellow lights only allowing a small fragment of light in the room. It was well decorated though, with beige walls and carpet that contrasted the chocolate brown bed covers and sofa perfectly. Framed pictures in dark photo frames dotted the wall in a stylish fashion behind the king sized bed, which in itself had been decorated with a string of small bright lights that left a glow around Quinn's still beautiful face as she sat on the edge of the soft mattress.
Quinn stared in hesitant anticipation for Rachel to start talking and asking questions, watching as she gazed thoughtfully around her bedroom. Her breath hitched as Rachel's eyes glanced over the mountainous heap of various medications that lay clumsily spread out on her bedside table. Quinn instantly felt strong wave guilt that she hadn't told Rachel about her illness as the realness of her situation sunk in, instead hiding it from everybody and isolating herself from the people that cared about her the most. She knew that eventually somebody would come knocking at her door asking for answers after so many months of unreturned phone calls and lack of activity on Facebook and other social networking sites, but she had hoped that it wouldn't be this soon, and she had shamefully hoped that she wouldn't still be here when they did.
"Is it… Canc-" Rachel started before she promptly burst into tears, bringing her hand up to her face quickly to try and contain herself, covering her mouth.
"Cancer, yes." Quinn said shakily as her own tears slid slowly down her cheeks. She hadn't even been aware that she was still crying and wanted to appear stronger than she was feeling, for both her and Rachel. Her heart pained watching Rachel gasp for breath, drowning in her tears with a beetroot red, blotchy face, every now and then her eyes squeezing themselves shut allowing more tears to fall. She didn't want to be the reason for her pain, though she was glad that she could share hers with somebody familiar. Indeed, she hadn't seen the happy and bubbly girl this upset since her failed NYADA audition back in high school. Now, Rachel was a thriving member of that very college and was well on her way to achieving the over extravagant dream that she had dreamt of since she was a young girl.
But that was what almost made this whole situation dramatically worse; Rachel could always find the best in every situation, she was admirable and commendable in that respect. Rachel had been terribly bullied throughout the entirety of high school, and walking the halls of McKinley High should've broken her; insults were thrown at her like pin pointed javelins, aimed to disfigure her breezy, cheerful spirit and kill her ambitious yet mystical dream. In fact, for the first few years of high school Quinn had been at the forefront of these daily, bloody attacks and Rachel had still stayed strong. So it hurt Quinn to see Rachel suffer so much pain over Quinn now when she cared so much about her, a cruel trick of karma that now she wanted the brunette to be graced with the happiness and love she deserved, she would be knocked down by the same amount of emotional torture Quinn had wanted her to suffer all those years ago when a long blonde ponytail fell down the back of her bright red cheerio's uniform, evil smirk laced across her jealous face.
Maybe this was why Quinn had always towered large walls around her inner self, hiding the truth of who she was to the outside world which had an army of people that could brutally attack and maim her emotional, fleshy insides that were so vulnerable. Instead, she had invented an alter ego for herself that ripped fear into people at the very thought of her evil glare; Quinn Fabray. Even her name was an invention, another building block in the wall that she had built, keeping out insults from her peers so that she wouldn't have to suffer under the torment of her alias, Lucy Caboosy.
"I don't understand." Rachel stated, straightening herself out and wiping away the last of the fat, juicy tears that wetted her stinging face, "When did you find out? Tell me everything Quinn."
"I'm so sorry Rachel." Quinn said quietly, much in the same way she had apologised for slapping the girl in the face two years ago at their junior prom, it felt very much like the same situation. "I don't know what I was thinking, I thought that… I thought that if I kept it quiet…" Countless tears began to fall from her face as Quinn struggled to get the words out and explain the situation to Rachel, she had begun to panic, breathlessly trying to contain herself and get the words out and appear resilient. "I didn't want anybody to see me like this. I thought that…"
"You thought that you'd die before anybody had to see you like this?" Rachel asked sympathetically in unbelief, mainly just trying to help her friend out and help herself understand, she tensed as Quinn nodded but let a small breath of a laugh out as she spoke again. "You really think you could've gotten away with not seeing me for much longer?" This made Quinn smile a little and seemed to lighten the mood a little bit before she broke down in a second fit of tears.
In that moment Rachel realised that she would have to stay strong for Quinn Fabray who, for once in her life was struggling to regain her composure and be strong for herself. Her walls were crumbling right before her eyes, leaving Quinn naked, exposed and a defenceless mess in front of her. Thinking about it, she had never seen Quinn look and act so vulnerable – not even when she was 16 and pregnant and her attitude began to soften – she had always had the ability to compose herself and carry on, control how she acted around others. They were like reflexes to Quinn, brought about by the tortured life she had led, that nobody could ever possibly understand. Quinn was a product of her own unforgiving life, a mass of emotional scars that she had learned to tend to and heal by herself. Rachel knew that she would have to hold Quinn's walls up for her with every ounce of her strength and keep Quinn protected from the world that the blonde had worked so desperately hard to be sheltered from at all times; the world that had beaten her so bloodily and cruelly and left her to pick up the pieces herself. And in the meantime Quinn could, in the same way, fight the disease that left her shattered body in the same state it was threatening to leave her spirit: weak, unarmed and completely broken.
Rachel knew that she would be the one to finally heal the broken spirit of the girl that had become so guarded, whilst the cancer fought restlessly to break down the body that had never betrayed, So that Quinn would be free from the heavy chains that had always held her down from being who she really is.
And despite her illness, she and Quinn would embark on one last journey together.
Okay so that's chapter two! Please REVIEW! In the next chapter I'll probably delve into the present situation a bit more, meaning more speech and fewer in depth studies of the characters… for now, haha!
I hope you're are enjoying the story so far, in the next few chapters I'll focus more on developing Quinn and Rachel's relationship and delve into Quinn's illness a bit more. Please don't forget to review so I know people are actually reading this, even critique is welcomed (not too harsh though, I'm still learning! haha) and make requests on how you want this story to play out. THANKS!