A/N: The POV in this chapter has changed and I'm pretty sure this is how it will remain from now on. If for some reason I change my mind, I will let you know. ;) Beyond that, I hope you'll enjoy this chapter and again, if you have any questions, comments or critiques that you'd like to give - by all means just hit the 'go' button at the bottom of the page.

Thank you to the following people for their comments and support of the first chapter of this story: ange87, TEACHMommy08, halfadash, Rogan Fan, iwannabegilmore, Ilovemydad, Curley-Q, SassyAni.

As a general response to what I'm sure you're all wondering regarding the letters at the end of the last chapter and all the chapters that will appear in this story - who wrote the letter?? - well... I've written the letters in a way to keep them purposely ambiguous, so that it could seem that either Logan or Rory could have written them. What I will tell you is that the letters while not necessarily sequential, do appear chronologically to when they were sent. As well, all of the letters that will appear in this story take place between the time of Rory's graduation and the day on which Rory and Logan first see each other again. You'll know when you see it.

So again, thank you all and I hope you enjoy this next chapter of the story.

I don't own Gilmore Girls or anything else that is affiliated with them, but in a perfect world I would.

After This Much Time

The lapping sound of the water against the sand allowed Logan's thoughts to drift... To a place in his mind that he'd actively been trying to avoid for months. But here he sat more than three months later and every time he tried to find a little peace, inevitably he went back in his mind. To her. To them. To what could have been, if only he'd been willing to wait. After three months he was more than capable of admitting that giving Rory an 'all or nothing' ultimatum was a juvenile act, instinctive in many ways. After all, the way he'd been raised had taught him that the only way to protect yourself sometimes was to lash out and hurt others before they had a chance to hurt you. So apparently for all his beliefs that he'd grown up and become a 'mature and responsible adult,' in some ways he was still the bitter society boy that Rory had met three years ago.

He'd thought about calling her. Hundreds of times. And hundreds of times he'd hung the phone back up before it even had a chance to connect the call, sometimes even before he'd finished dialing. There was nothing he could truly say to her to make things better. He still wants her with him, wants to wake up with her beside him. The reasons, or at least some of them, for lashing out the way he had and the things he'd told her were still true, he didn't want to go back to a long distance relationship. He didn't want to feel as though they were moving backwards, instead of continuing down the road of their lives, together... His thoughts continued to ebb and flow, like the tide, but one thought kept drifting back to shore each time.

Could they really be much further apart then they are now?

--

Procrastination was something that Rory rarely allowed herself to indulge in. Sure, she took her time making decisions and always made sure to try and view a problem or issue from every angle, but when it came to her emotions and her personal life, somehow she wasn't always as... diligent. After all it had been more than three months since her graduation from Yale and it was only now that she was hiding in the bathroom of some rundown motel in the middle of Utah that she was facing something she'd been fearing since that day. For months she'd been trying to tell herself that there was no way that it could be true, they had always been so careful - especially in that sense - it just couldn't be, especially now that Logan had left. Or she'd left. It depended on who's "side" you were on.

She'd run into Colin and Finn in Atlanta five weeks ago. They knew what had happened, since Logan had apparently spent the first three days after her graduation drowning himself in a bottle with the pair and telling them everything. But just like Logan, they couldn't believe that she'd said no, or more accurately that she "couldn't" and didn't understand why if she loved him, she would give him up. She'd try to make them see things from her perspective but no matter what she'd told them and no matter that they were sympathetic to the pain that she was feeling, Logan was still their best friend and he was hurting too. Rosemary and Juliet were much the same, even if they did have a bit more compassion to Rory's point of view, they - all of them - felt like Rory had left him. Lane, Paris, Olivia and even Lucy were firmly of the opinion that Logan made the choice to walk, that even though she hadn't said yes to his proposal, she hadn't been saying no to him.

And that was why she was sitting on the side of a yellowed enamel bathtub, three and a half months later, staring at the white stick on the counter across from her. Another 30 seconds and she'd know. Another 30 seconds and she'd find out if even after giving everything up to persue her dreams, she was going to have to give those up too, or at the very least, postpone them. Ten seconds now and she'd know if that nebulous thought that had been in the back of her mind since graduation was right and she really had made the biggest mistake of her life when she'd watched him walk away, instead of chasing after him and never letting go.

5, 4, 3, 2, 1...

--

My Dear Friend,

Because I've decided to choose that we are.

Was it all a mistake do you think? All of it. No strings, then strings, and then rings... Or did we just lose something there right at the end that would have made everything else okay? Did I? I've thought about it a lot you know, and I still haven't decided. I should know, don't you think? Do you? Or was everything really fine until that day? Some days I think it was, others, well those days I'm not really sure.

I do know that I regret the way things are now, the way they've turned out. In our time together you became more to me than just a lover. You'd become one of my best friends and now there are so many things that I'd like to be able to say to you, to tell you about, and I can't. I can't even pick up the phone and call you, I'm so afraid that the moment you hear my voice you'd just hang up.

I've got to get going for now, but if there is one thing that I really must say it's this: if what was done was really the 'right thing' for us, I don't think it would hurt this much. At least, I don't think it would hurt this much, after this much time.

Still Yours.