Last time... Sara was dying from a fatal disease, the Fell Plague! To save her soul from death, the Eds minus Eddy had to scare The Grim Reaper himself! All seemed lost, when Double D pulled a trick from his sleeve... The El Mongo Stink Bomb! It stinks, therefore it is! Grim lost his bet, and his freedom! Now it's time to meet the rest of the Cul-De-Sac, on this chapter of...
Grim and Edboys: Writer's Cut
Chapter 2: MeetEd and GreetEd
Disclaimer: I do not own "The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy", "Ed, Edd, 'N Eddy", or, "The Grim Edventures of Ed, Edd, 'N Eddy". This is a fan fiction, not the official thing.
Background: I expanded Eris's role significantly starting from this chapter. In the original, and shows up about a quarter of the way into it. I also introduced another character early... You should know who.
Eddy is reading the paper and says "A tree house gets raided by evil adult weirdoes who hunt hair!? What is this? Weekly world news?" and Ed says "Maybe it's the monster from "I WAS A MIDDLE AGED BARBER-ARIAN!...FILMED IN SCALP-O-VISION!" and Double D says "Well, I assume that some people would consider that assault
Ed runs around Grim in a circle singing "THIS IS HALLOWEEN! THIS IS HALLOWEEN! PUMPKINS SCREAM IN THE DEAD OF NIGHT!" AND THEN Grim yells out "Cut it out mon! You can rise the dead with that racket!" And then Ed looks at Grim and says "You look like Kate Moss!" and then Grim just stands there angrily. Edd then wonders what to do with Grim and then he watches what Ed wants with him.
Ed continues acting stupid and then Grim looks upset and Ed walks up to him and says "What's wrong Mr. Skullhead?" and then Grim says "it's because not only did I lose a contest to you mortals and I'm forced to be your friend, but I have to put up with something less intelligent than a sponge…" he sees Ed pick his bellybutton and eat the lint" In fact, I think I shouldn't have insulted the sponge, plus you can't get my name right.. IT'S GRIM MON…GRIM!" and then Ed says "Let's be friends!" and he hugs Grim. Grim lets out a small smile and then Ed says " Do you know what it takes for me to turn my frown upside down?" and then Grim says "we can re-enact the Pompeii incident! Just let me create a volcano with my scythe…" And then Ed yells out "No! Let's go watch some monster movies!" And then Grim smiles wildly and yells out "Yippy skippy! That be a better idea, I even got a movie for us to watch!"
And so the 2 end up in Ed's room and Grim puts on the video tape "Dracula Vs. those darn kids on the lawn!" It shows Dracula, Grim's childhood hero, looking outside his window and he sees 4 teenagers making out in his graveyard themed front yard. He yells out, "Hey you kids! Don't be playin' in Dracula's front yard! Dracula would like to go out and bite your necks, but Dracula can't be out in broad daylight. Dracula will burn to a crisp… Dracula's gonna go back to his coffin! Have fun in Dracula's yard kids," Grim thinks he's cool while Ed looks terrified and yells out "there are Teenagers making out in Dracula's front yard... and he can't scare them away!" Then Eddy grabs Grim and says "C'mon Bonehead, you're gonna make us rich!"
Grim is then dressed in a white 70's disco suit and says "This is so humiliating, where did you even get the thread, mon?" "It's my brother's he has a ton of them" Eddy yells out "SEE THE AMAZING DANCING SKELETON! FOR JUST 1 QUARTER HE WILL BOOGIE ON DOWN WITH HIS BAD SELF! Prices may vary," There is a sign that reads:
"Amazing dancing skeleton
Will dance for money
-Prices-
Any non-embarrassing dance- 25¢
The Swim- 50¢
The Monkey- 75¢
The Macarena- $1
The Lambada- $2
The most embarrassing dance you can think of- $3"
Double D sees the sign and he says, "OH MY GOODNESS! EDDY, THE LAMBADA!? THAT DANCE IS FORBIDDEN!" and then Eddy says "yeah whatever sock head! This tactic will get me some ladies, because they will refuse to Lambada with Grim" and Double D also argued "Well I suggested we use him in the name of science but you wanted to use him for this mediocre scam!" Eddy then yells out "MEDIOCRE!?" The 2 get into a fight while Grim says "I better enjoy this while I still can! Soon I may be making a cool of meself!"
Johnny walks by and sees Grim and one look at him he hides behind Double D and yells out "Look out plank! It's a lumberjack! Grim then says "I'M NOT A LUMBERJACK! I AM THE LIVING EMBODIMENT OF DEATH HIMSELF! Also, your little doll creeps me out for some reason. Might be alive," Then Johnny says "You're full of it, you're a lumberjack because you have a sharp tool and you look scary!" Johnny pays Eddy 3 dollars and says to Eddy "make the lumberjack sing the really risqué parts of "the lumberjack song" and then Grim looks nervous and says "OH NO! NOT THAT, ANYTHING BUT THAT MON!" and then Eddy says "Give the man what he wants Bonehead!" Grim proceeds to do just that, all while miming cutting down a tree with his scythe. As Johnny laughs uncontrollably at Grim, Jimmy and Sara walk by with baby carriages. They hear Grim's singing, then Sara covers Jimmy's ears and says "Don't listen Jimmy, it's a very naughty song! Plus I don't like my brother's new friendfriend."
As Grim gets humiliated at the hands of Johnny 2x4 Rolf shows up because he likes the song. He then gets mad and suddenly beats up Grim, tearing him apart, bone from bone, and then spits in one of his empty eye sockets. Grim says "Mome to your senses mon, why you be beating me up child?" Rolf says "Tis' the son of a Shepard's task of beating the living afterlife out of crazy skeleton man, yes?" and then Grim suddenly looks frightened and says "OH NO…YOU'RE PART OF THAT CLAN FROM…what country are you from again?" Rolf replies "Well, maybe Rolf's coat of arms will give you a hint!" and he shows him his coat of arms that shows a image of a Grim's skull being smashed by a mace. Rolf says "If you be rubbing Rolf's rutabagas once more, there will be no place to hide from Rolf's afterlife, understand?" and then Grim sheepishly says "I'll be good!"
Double D then says, "what was that all about?" Grim replies, "Apparently there is this family that doesn't fear me and possesses supernatural strength! This scares even me, one time I met this woman…" Eddy interrupts by saying "Cut to the chase, Bonehead!" Grim sums it up with, "Long story short, that boy is related to the so called "Great Nano" that wants me dead" Double D says "is it even possible to kill the Grim Reaper?" and then Grim, Eddy and Double D hear a voice that tells them "Yeah, if you dorks embarrass him to death even more!"
Grim looks Kevin in the eyes and says "Hello Kevin" Kevi looks him sternly in the face and replies, "Hello Grim" and then Double D looks surprised and says "you two know each other?" and then Grim says "yes child, last summer his great-grandmother passed away just before her 100th birthday. I had to take her… and then Kevin constantly kicked me in the shinbone and the vomer, so I played a game against him, he wagered his prized mullet haircut and the prize is his grandma, so we played "Roshambo" the game was invented by "some plump kid from Colorado" and the object was to kick each other in the groin area till one of us falls and cries… I had the upper hand because I'm a walking skeleton and I have nothing to kick so it was my turn and Kevin cried like Flo-jo when her time was up. So I took his grandmother and his hair and went back to the underworld triumphant.
"So that's why he only has 3 strands of hair on his head", Eddy couldn't stop laughing loudly and at the moment Ed arrives Kevin gets so angry he goes up to Eddy and Eddy runs up to Grim and says "please bonehead, save me from "other bonehead" and then Grim says "you made your coffin, now rest in peace!" and then Kevin drags Eddy away to a undisclosed area and has what appears to be a chainsaw in his hands and Eddy goes into a catatonic state and says "grandpa... is that you?" and then they only hear the sound of screaming.
Nazz then says "Geez Kevin, lighten up... Oh hey Double D! …Who's your new friend? I like his figure, how does he stay so thin?" Ed then whispers to Grim "Psst, hey Jack, I think Nazz likes you" and then Grim says "that be impossible child, no one can look straight into me eyes and show me their true expressions that doesn't involve fear… with the exception for Great Nano's grandson, he hates me non-guts" and then Grim sees Nazz float in the air by a cloud shaped like a heart. And then she slips Grim a number in his sleeves and before she floats back to her house she says "CALL ME!" and then Double D says "I think I liked her better when she was just a minor background character that doesn't have lines and all she ever did was giggle... I mean will she seriously have a crush on you Grim?" and Grim then says "No child, because she's a child and a mortal, the love between a mortal and dead will lead to GRAVE CONCIQUENCES, if you need details, watch "Beetlejuice", "High Spirits", "Corpse Bride" and "Dracula meets the living cheerleader."
Ed then says "what about "GHOST"? and Grim says "no, that movie made me cry like a little…you didn't hear this from me ok?" and then the 2 Eds made a gesture of "zipping their lips".
And then Suddenly the Kanker Sisters came to the Cul-De-Sac for their weekly rampage and when they see Ed and Double D, they yell out "IT'S OUR BOYFRIENDS!" and when they rushed to the 2 Eds, Grim arrives with his Scythe looking scary, and then the 3 girls looked terrified and Lee yells out "oh no girls! They hired a demonic assassin to take us out! and we don't mean on dates!" and after they dropped their loose change in quarters in the ground, they put roller blades on May's hands and Feet and Lee and Marie ride on her as if she was a car, escaping Grim. "Who are those girls?" Grim asks. "The Kanker sisters," Double D replies, "They want to make us their Boyfriends!" they decide to pick up the quarters and leave.
And so Ed, Double D and Grim spent the change they got from the Kanker sisters on jawbreakers and are happily sucking on them. Double D says "Wow grim, this normally doesn't happen to us! "It looks like things are a little different now that you're our new best friend!" Grim states that, "It feels like we're missing something… Eh, he will live!"
Meanwhile at sundown
Eddy is tied up to a tree in chains and is horribly beaten up and then Kevin pulls out his chainsaw and says "this will teach you not to make fun of my hair you DORK! HAHAHA!" and as Eddy screams, Kevin get slashed in the hand by a rose that was thrown to the ground. Then they both see a shadowy figure in a tuxedo, causing Eddy to state, "Either that's Tuxedo Mask or I gotta lay off the Kelothan ColaCola!" and then the shadow figure uses it's telekinesis ability to lift Kevin in the air and throw him over the fence. Eddy looks frightened when the figure approaches him and it uses it's telekinesis to remove the chains. Eddy asks, "Who are you and why did you save me?" and then the figure tells him,
"Hey boy! Get out of Dracula's Yard! Dracula wants you to go home, Dracula doesn't want you up past Dracula's time. And now if you will excuse me…it's time for Dracula to boogie!" 70's music plays as he turns into a bat and he flies away. Eddy quips, "My brother must have slipped something in my Kelothan Cola when I wasn't looking again!" and so he heads for home.
Our droogs try out the old Ultra-Scam! Grim gives the Eds Mawbreakers! What makes them different than Jawbreakers? How will this inevitably go down the toilet? And what will they do to fix things? Find out in the next exciting story of...
Grim and Edboys: Writer's Cut!
Now with 20% more Bad Guy!
"Pandora, come here!" "Ok E..." "You are to address me as 'Dear Goddess!'" "Ok Dear Goddess!" "The Grim Reaper has been sent to Peach Creek!" "What? But that means..." "He has been enslaved by some boys! This kind of stuff causes Chains of events that will lead to Eternal Chaos!" "And I'll be able to open the box!" "All we do now is wait!"