"Ami?"
She blinked hearing her name called and looked for the source of the voice. She looked up to see the green eyes of Makoto looking at her intensely. "Mmm?"
"Ami, I know you don't usually enjoy fashion, but um… you usually pay attention to details for the wedding."
Ami blinked and became more aware of her surroundings. They were at the Rei's shrine, where she had become the Priestess, and, not surprisingly, the other three girls were arguing.
"Rei! I am the Bride. That means I get to have final say over the dresses you all wear!"
Ami sighed. Makoto tended to be rather easy going when it came to these aspects of the wedding (though a debate with Usagi over the food could be just as heated), and Ami was not overly concerned with what she wore. Content that she'd be "pretty" beside her gorgeous friends. Rei on the other hand could be quite stubborn, and Mina, well, Mina felt like she should make all the fashion choices. Understandable since the pop-idol had become a designer in her own right.
"Usagi, please, you said I could design the dresses. Though of course you get rejection power."
Ami half heard herself say, "Veto power," and saw Makoto's smirk.
"But Mina, if Rei wears that, no one will notice me!"
Ami grinned. Usagi had shed almost all of the traces of selfishness she'd had as a teenager, but sometimes in the preparations for her wedding, a bit of that old Usagi tended to show up. The Senshi of Ice thought that was appropriate, since it was her day.
Ami smiled to Mako and then moved over to her friends, to look at the design. "Wow, Mina, that is gorgeous. But since I've seen your design for Usagi's dress, I happen to know that she has nothing to worry about."
Usagi blinked, "Really?"
Rei let out a frustrated sigh, "Why do you believe Ami when she tells you that but not me?"
Mako spoke up just then, "Because she doesn't have a history of fighting with Ami, Rei."
"You know I still love you, Rei!"
The priestess grinned at her princess hugged her, "I know, Usagi."
Ami grinned a bit, it was much easier to play peacemaker now that they were all adults with careers than it had been when they were students.
"So, Ami, you've been withdrawn all evening. What's wrong?"
Ami blinked and looked at Usagi. It amazed her how quickly the elementary school teacher could change subjects. "Just had a bad day at work. Had… had to…"
Rei was up and beside Ami in a moment, "How old?" Her friends all knew what a bad day at work meant – either she'd lost a child, or she had to tell parents that they were going to lose their child.
"Three. She was three." She thought she had cried all her tears before coming, but she felt the a tear slip down her cheek about the same time she felt four sets of arm enveloping her in love.
After a moment, she wiped her eyes and smiled, "Thanks, guys. It never seems to get any better. I half wish I'd gone into another field."
Usagi shook her head, "Nope, cause you have to be Small Lady's doctor."
Ami smiled, "I will be."
Ami always felt better after being with the girls. Somehow she wondered how she fit in with them, but they never made her feel like anything other than one of them.
"Ames! Wait up!"
Ami stopped and turned to see Makoto running to catch up. "We're going the same way. Thought I'd walk with you."
"Sure." Ami smiled to Makoto. For a moment the two women walked in silence and then Ami surprised herself by asking something that she'd been thinking about for a while. "Makoto? Do you… I mean…" She sighed and started over. For a smart woman, she still found it difficult to talk about some things, "There's this guy. His office is in the same building as mine. I like him, and I know he likes me. But I can't bring myself to go out with him. There's just something missing. Does that make sense?"
Makoto nodded, "Mm-hmm. It does. I feel the same way every time I go out with Neil. I feel like it should be right, but its just not. Not completely."
Ami sighed, "I think I wanted you to tell me that I was just being shy."
Makoto smiled sympathetically, "Ami, does this guy remind you of Zoisite."
Ami closed her eyes and nodded. "I wish I didn't remember, Makoto. Its not fair. I should be able to go on with my life. To find a guy, but I cannot because of his shadow."
"I don't. I'm glad I remember. But I know what you're saying."
"Sometimes I wish we could bring them back." Makoto blinked at such a sentiment coming from the quiet and sensitive Ami, from the logical one. "I wish I could understand why he betrayed us… me. I wish he could hold me."
Makoto gently gathered the smaller woman into her arms. "I'm sorry, Ames."