{I don't own the sons of anarchy only my own character and anything you do not recognize. Anything in italics is in Jax's view and please comment, like and follow it all means a lot to me}

(Jax p.o.v)

I didn't know that she was back in town and it was infuriating me that she didn't tell me let alone that she was here working for him. As I watched her run out of the club I was getting ready to run back after her but, that's what I did for two years and besides I had Wendy now and my new baby that was on the way. But I still felt that familiar pull with her. Just as I was yelling at her to come back I heard Darby in the background yelling after her to, and using her real name caused something in me to snap. He didn't have the right to have her here and he didn't have the right to even know her. I turned around and stomped over to him, grabbing him by his muscle shirt and shoved him into the wall beside our table and punch him right in the nose, breaking it in the process. "Whoa Jax calm down buddy what's going on?" Tig asked from behind me trying to pull me away from Darby

I shoved Tig away and glared at him before I turned my attention back to Darby. "What is she doing here Darby, you didn't tell me this surprise of yours was my ex?" I sneered at him

"What the hell do you mean? Chelsea? She works here why else would she be here."

"She is done you hear me?"

"Well I can't exactly do that you see."

I started him down, he was holding his nose in his hand in an attempt to stop the bleeding. I shoved his hand away and grabbed his nose, pulling on it and once I got a long enough painful cry from him I shoved my face in front of his, "No you see, she is done here or we are done, OUR deal is done. Next time I come in here and she is here, your nose, "I grabbed his nose again just so he understood, "Will be the last thing that needs to be fixed understand? Now where is she?"

"I don't know."

I squeezed his nose again. "Ow okay okay she lives just a few minutes from here down the hill till the end of the block and it's the small house on the corner."

I gave his nose one more good squeeze before I let go and I walked past the now quiet and watchful club, giving Clay a look that said I was leaving and walked out to my bike.

(End of Jax p.o.v)

I had been walking for about 10 minutes in this cold blasted weather. It was late December and as much as I was hating my life before I now really hated it. I wrapped my arms around my barely covered body and rubbed them slightly. How was I going to go back there knowing that he had finally found me, it was just a matter of time before this distance I had placed before us disappeared. The hurt and betrayal I saw in his eyes hurt so much to see, and the way he thought of me shocked me at first but really wasn't that what I was now degraded to. My temper flared right back up at the thought of it not being my fault, I didn't choose this I was forced into it. By this point I had finally reached my house. It was my nana's house. When I moved back I had taken care of her for a bit until she passed and this house was passed down to me in her will. It was now the only home and only family I had left.

Once I came in the house, I closed the door and went straight to the top floor into my bedroom. I was in the process of taking my earrings out when I walked past my tall mirror and stood there looking at myself in the mirror. I felt even more disgusted with myself then I did tonight than any night. But it didn't feel like disgust completely that's when it hit me it was embarrassment, it was shame and I couldn't handle it anymore.

Then it was like something snapped in me and I was on the outside of my body watching as I had a breakdown in my bedroom. I couldn't stand to see me in this stupid outfit so I took it off and ripped it and started screaming at my stupid life. I started pulling my blankets of my bed, throwing my makeup and other items on my shelves and dresser everywhere. Trashing my room before I looked at myself one more time in my mirror. I pulled my heels off and threw it at my mirror shattering it into a million pieces on my floor before I fell to the floor in despair. "Chels? What did you do?" someone said from behind me

When I turned around Jax was standing there looking down at me with pity in his eye. I frowned and looked down at my lap to realize I must have been closer than I thought to the mirror as my wrist was now bleeding from being cut. Before I had a chance to react Jax had grabbed my wrist and pulled me from the floor shaking his head and leading me to my in suite bathroom and shoved my wrist under the water. I watched as he inspected my wrist carefully cleaning it. Even though it was a slight touch my body envied it, the feel of how it felt to be touched by someone who cared after so long, let alone by him made my body tremble slightly. He pulled my wrist out of the water supposing that I shivered because of the cold and he inspected my wrist. "Do you have a first aid kit somewhere?"

"Under the sink."

He leaned over and grabbed it placing it on the counter and pulled out some gauze and a big band aide. "It's not deep, "he mumbled

I nodded my head. Once he had finished bandaging me up he didn't let go of my wrist instead he slightly rubbed it and then after a few moments of silence he looked up at me, past me into my disaster of a bedroom then back into my eyes. "What was that all about in there?"

I looked over my shoulder before I sighed and regrettably pulled my wrist from him and walked back into my bedroom. "It was nothing Jaxson, how did you even get in here?" I asked walking into my hallway heading down the stairs and leading him into the kitchen

"You didn't lock your door. It's funny you think after the five years of us being together you would have learned that by now.

'I was expecting Darby not you' I thought to myself

Instead of replying I ignored his comment and asked him "Do you want anything?"

"Some of that apple crisp behind you will do."

I looked behind me forgetting about the apple crisp I had made yesterday. I grabbed a plate and pulled out some and put it on a plate turning around and put it front of him. I was going to grab some milk for him like I know he liked when I looked over at him. He was leaning on the door frame to the kitchen, arms crossed across his chest, his eyes dark with what I was supposing was temptation and lust. I looked down at myself to realize I was still standing with my bra and underwear and I immediately blushed. I then looked everywhere but in his eyes, I cleared my throat and said "Well I think I'm going to put something more decent on for once, milk is in the fridge and cups are in the cupboard above the microwave I'll be down in a few minutes."

He chuckled and motioned for me to go. I crossed my arms over my basically bare chest and walked past him to the bedroom. I just grabbed an over sized rob zombie shirt, a pair of spandex shorts and pulled my hair back into a pony tail and walked down to the kitchen. By the time I got there he was just finishing his apple crisp. I walked towards to the counter and made myself so coffee. Then I went and sat at the table, my legs crossed on the chair beneath me, knowing what was coming next. He stared at me for a few moments before he spoke. "What happened?"

"Well where do you want me to start?"

"How about why you are working for that dirt bag."

"It's complicated."

He rose his eyebrows at me "Okay it has to do with my mother and him and he is using my brother as leverage against me for my mother debt to him." I half told the truth

"Why didn't you just come home to me?"

"Come on Jax you know how that one would have went. And I'm sure your mother wouldn't let me within two feet of you and don't argue you know it's true."

"I still would have helped you."

I rolled my eyes. He always ignores the facts, he chooses to believe that he can do whatever he wants but unless in the two years I've been gone he has cut the cord with mommy well, nothing touches her son without her approval, and I barely had that approval before I left and now I definitely done. "Don't even start with me Chels." He warned

"You're the one that's here in my home asking the questions Jax," I took a sip of my coffee to realize I didn't put enough sugar in it and I walked to the counter to fix it, "Don't ask me anything you don't want to know the answer to. That's what you use to say remember?"

Just as I finished putting the last cube of sugar in my coffee. I felt Jax behind me, pulling my hair from the pony tail and wrapping his arms around my waist pulling me harder into him. Then he started to nuzzle my hair just slightly and whispered in my ear, "I always preferred your hair down, remember?"

I felt my face flush and the butterflies flutter in my stomach as the memories came rushing back. All the good times and I didn't realize I had actually started to lean into him. He started to rub my stomach and asked me the one question I was dreading all night. "What happened to her? Why did you leave with our baby? You really hurt me." He turned me around and made me face him, his rough hands cupping my cheek to force me to look at him.

I was prepared to tell him about everything, but seeing that look in his eyes, the lone distant look I realized how much I actually did put him through and I replied, "She is gone, I had to give her away. I couldn't give her the life that she deserved, and I couldn't come back here and face you again after how I left so I choose the better option."

I could see the temper flare in his eyes with every word that slipped out of my mouth. By the end of my sentence his hands left my face and slammed on the counter behind me causing me to jump. He pushed away from me and started to walk towards the door. I went after him pulling his arm trying to get him to calm down. "Jax!...Jaxson! Please don't leave like this I'm sorry I thought it was for the best."

He stopped at my words before turning around and stalking towards me. I started to back up until my back hit the wall. As he walked towards me he said, "Exactly! What you thought, did you ever stop to think that she was my baby to, my choice to, and my god damn right to raise her! Your just full of surprises, not only did you give MY daughter away but your now degrading yourself to Darby's bitch and you won't even tell me what it really is so I can help you!" By the middle of his sentence he had reached me slamming his fist against the wall on either side of me, not removing them either.

My mouth just suddenly turned dry and it was like all words escaped my mouth. Before I realized it tears had escaped my eyes not because of fear or anger but because of sorrow at who I become. Jax was right and as much as I wanted to tell him everything and the truth I couldn't all that escaped my lips was, "I'm sorry I never wanted to hurt you."

Jax seemed to be stewing over what to do, as the anger started to leave him his face got closer to me. Our lips just barely touching before something seemed to dawn on him and his face scrunched up pushing away from me, leaving me standing there, my knees weak as I watched him walk towards my front door. Just as he was walking out he turned around to face me his expression completely serious, "Listen, I don't want to see you around Darby's again. I mean it and now that I know your back you're not leaving again. We have things to talk about. And I'm serious about Darby's."