Curtain rise

You find yourself in a strange city. It seems somewhat familiar. Out of nowhere, a girl with bright, orange hair appears, smiling broadly.

"Why hello there!" she says to you, "I'm Giana, but I'm sure you already knew that!" You shake your head in confusion.

"Oh. You didn't?" The girl's face falls for a second, and then that dazzling smile returns, "It's that damn Potter, I suppose. Ah well… But what are you doing all the way over there? I'm not scary you know!" You smile tentatively and move closer.

"Well, this is Agrabah." The girl, Giana, begins, "It's…um…very nice here. It's got..um… well, lots of shops and stuff really. Merchandise. That kind of thing. Bit dull really…" You follow Giana over to a stall, where she gestures to a strange pot thing that's being demonstrated to another customer.

"I mean, I suppose that's kind of interesting… Oh. It broke." We move on somewhere else, where she points at a box.

"Oh! And what about that box thing! Oh, who am I kidding? It's just a box. Sorry, I'm not doing this very well, am I?" Her face falls again, and you hasten to reassure her. Whoever this girl is, you hate seeing her look upset. She gives you a little smile and sighs.

"Well, maybe I could tell you a story? It's a very interesting story. And completely true. I knew the people in it very well." She pulls a dusty bronze lamp out of her pocket. "Look at this. What do you think of it?" You tell her exactly what you think.

"'It's just a dull old lamp'? Well, that's what Aladdin thought when he first found it. But he found so much more in this 'dull old lamp'. Interested now? I thought so. Well, this is how it starts…."

Brief curtain fall and rise

A woman dressed entirely in pink stood alone in a desert, watching a huge man approach her. When he finally arrived in front of her, she struggled to contain her fury. She glared at him.

"You are late!"

The man sighed. "I WAS HELD UP." He roared, and then muttered to himself, "HOW DID I NOT KNOW THAT COUNTERCURSE?"

The woman shook her head in frustration. "No matter, you imbecile. You have it then?"

The man looked offended. "OF COURSE I DO." He pulled a silver locket with an 'S' made of emeralds on it out of his pocket.

The woman yanked it from his hand. "Good. You may have your reward when I get mine." She gave a little giggle.

"THAT SOUNDS SINISTER, BUT I'M JUST GOING TO TRUST YOU BLINDLY ANYWAY."

"You do that," the woman nodded and completed the charm, sorry, adjustments she was making to the locket, "Now, follow that locket!"

The two of them chased it over the sand for many miles until they were stopped short by a massive tiger's head rising up from the sand

The woman gasped. "At long last!" she cried, "The Cave of Wonders! Years of eating nothing but protein shakes, rocks, and falcon eggs have finally been paid off!" she turned to the man, "Bring me that lamp. You can have anything else you want, but I want that lamp!"

The man frowned, "YOU WANT ME TO GO IN THERE?"

"Yes, you simpleton!" the woman shrieked, "Get! Me! My! LAMP!" she shoved the man towards the entrance.

The man sighed and stepped forward a few steps. "FINE! BUT IF I DIE OR SOMETHING… WELL… WELL… UM… YEAH!"

"Just GO!"

The man stomped towards the entrance and the mouth moved. Then it spoke.

"YOU. SHALL NOT. PASS!"

The man laughed. "OUT OF THE WAY, NERD!" he roared.

The head sighed with an annoyed air. "Fly, you fool! Only one is the true Lord of the Lamp and none other!" The man turned back to face the woman and shrugged. She rolled her eyes.

"Just go in you baby-faced little fucker!"

The man went in and died a horrible and painful death. I'm sure you don't want to know all of the details. You do? Well, tough.

Just then something moved on the woman's shoulder. What had initially looked like a bit of fur or a white mink, turned out to be the woman's talking ferret. It rolled over and over in the sand, clutching at the locket.

"Well, I'm not surprised that idiot couldn't get pass that feeble attempt at a pussy cat." It rolled over onto its back and looked up at the woman, "But you do realise we're stuck now right?"

The woman scoffed. "Man up, Diego! You think I got to where I am by whining like a whimpy-ass fucker? NO! Obviously, he wasn't worthy enough."

The ferret rolled his eyes and turned so he was upright again. "Well, what are we going to do now? You heard what Mufasa there said. Only this 'Lord of the Lamp' may enter."

The woman smirked. "Clearly, we're going to have to find this One person, this 'diamond in the rough', so to speak. Ha ha ha ha! HA ha ha ha ha! HA HA HA HA HA!" she spluttered and began to choke.

Curtain fall