/** Author's Note: For why I wrote this fiction, please see SnE #1. And again, it is written in terrible archaic speech. ;P  R/R please!

Just wish to say a few words to those who reviewed.

Yukito: Bro! Just make sure you give me big treat!

disco biscuit: Thanks for giving me a good review! More chapters to come :) By the way, I boarded my door with planks of wood. I SHOULD be safe from them purists… I hope!

cable: Brudder! Sheesh… :P

Iori: Yepz, I AM having fun… Lots of fun! Whoo!

Enrika: BUDDY! Thanks for reviewing!

Ivory Tower: Hi there! Your Dr. Snape's Solutions were too short too!!!!! Waaaa! *sniff* I want more chapters…

Werecat99: Hey thanks for your review! It makes MY day to read it. Will definitely have more scenarios cropping up!

To all: Drop me some ideas for scenarios k? Any suggestions as to where they should go next? Or any pairing that you like to see. Thanks again to you all! **/

Scenarios n Exchanges (that will make JRR Tolkien do flip-flops in his grave)

(In other words, things that we will never see in the books or in the movies… )

Scenario n Exchange #2:

Legolas, the pretty elf, was sitting on a lone settee, sewing the initials of both his and his lover's name on a pink handkerchief. (A/N: Tis only an 'A'. Quite impossible for Legolas to sew the FULL initials, which art, just to name a few, AESoAHoIHoGKoG, because (a) His fingers will go into spasm (b) The cloth tis too small.) Green leaf patterns framed the square silk cloth and the elf was quite proud of his new handiwork. He hath gotten the sewing materials from Eowyn who was understandably quite startled to hear the strange request. (A/N: Eowyn tis still in the dark about THE relationship and tis currently still hankering after The-man-with-too-many-names.) Giving a pretty smile, the elf stuck the needle back into the pincushion and beamed proudly at the newly sewn 'AL' at the corner of the pink cloth. At tis moment, The-man-with-too-many-names opened the wooden oak door and stepped into the room.

"My Lord!" Legolas stood up and greeted the rugged-looking and handsome man enthusiastically. "Look at tis!" He displayed the handkerchief for The-man-with-too-many-names to see.

"AL??!! Thou likest the actor AL PACINO?! Non! I will not have thee consorting with him!" The hunky man screamed.

"Al who?? What tis an actor, my Lord Aragorn? Why art thou mad with me?! Thou not likest our names to be sewn together?" The elf choked broken-heartedly, tears appearing at the corner of his stricken pretty eyes. Tis was after all the first time his love hath lost his temper on him.

"Wait. Our names?? *pause* Oh~…!!!" The-man-with-too-many-names turned a pale shade of white, which was very obvious against his beautiful, golden-tan skin as he realised what the 'AL' stood for. (A/N: Aragorn tis NOT stupid. Just a little slow. Really.)

"Aragorn! I…I…I hate thee!" The-man-with-too-many-names winced as Legolas spat out the last sentence venomously. Aye, elves COULDST sound venomous if they wanted too. But tis still sounded pretty of course.

"Erm… My dear elf, tis was but a misunderstanding… erm… I sincerely apologise for my outburst… erm…please…find it in thy pretty heart to forgive me?" The-man-with-too-many-names said soothingly, trying extremely hard to pacify his now very angry elf. Bummer… He thought. Tis is so lame… (A/N: No argument there.) Legolas simply stared at him. This TIS so lame! Aragorn…I expect better from thee… HE thought.

 "My love, tis there anything thou wanst? I shalt get it for thee, just to show thee how sorry I am…" The-man-with-too-many-names said firmly, taking his elf's smooth pale hands in his own hunky ones. For a brief moment, a SPARK of hope appeared when Legolas's pretty pointed ears turned a slight pinkish hue. Well… The-man-with-too-many-names thought. At least I still make his ears pink… However, whatever SPARK that was there, was just but a SPARK. And we all know SPARKS doth not last. Therefore, the SPARK that was there a moment ago was not there anymore. The elf gasped loudly and tried with all his will and might (more will than might actually, for Aragorn's hands were nice and warm) to pull his hands away. He succeeded eventually and managed not to think about how nice and warm those hunky hands were. The-man-with-too-many-names lookest apprehensively at Legolas, waiting for him to speakest.

"Aragorn." Legolas deadpanned.

"Aye?" Said person replied.

"I wanst thee…"

"Aye!!! Me too!"

"TO take me…"

'Aye?…"

"Out."

"Oh."

"Aye?"

"Aye."

"Now then, I hath been sewing for some time and my body tis stiff. Come help me rub my back, Aragorn." Legolas gave a sweet smile and skipped towards the bed. The-man-with-too-many-names was so confused by the sudden change of mood that he couldst only follow obediently. Elves… Who knows what they art thinking… Perhaps I should have bought the book "Men art from Gondor, Elves art from Mirkwood"… (A/N: *music fades in* NOW for only 25 Middle-earth dollars!! While stocks last! Not to be confused with "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus." We art selling that book too by the way. *music fades out*)

As The-man-with-too-many-names proceeded to rub his elf's back, he snuck in a nibble on a pointed ear. And lo and behold! It turned pink. AGAIN. And soon, a normal back rub developed almost immediately into a HUGE bout of passionate lovemaking. The multi-purpose pretty pink handkerchief was turned into a *cough* blindfold for a VERY flushed face elf and what was meant to be an innocent showing off of a newly completed piece of handicraft hath turned out to be not so innocent after all.

The End.

A/N: ok, this is a weird story…