Even when Chuck is on Missions he likes to Watch Casey and Think
I totally do not own Chuck, as a matter of fact I own next to nothing what I do "own" is a dog and that's like it.
Chuck pretends to be in love with Sarah for Ellie and his friends (even though they all know he leans more towards the male figure) and Bartowski pretends he loves Sarah in front of Sarah, John, and the general. When Chuck first brought Sarah home Ellie and Devon had pulled him aside and asked why his partner was a she and not a he, Chuck smiled and shrugged his shoulders and told them he liked her. Ellie looked at him and Chuck remembers trying so very hard to focus on Sarah and not on Casey when around his family those first few weeks because if Ellie even saw him look in Casey's direction she would know how much Chuck wanted those strong thick fingers entwined with his.
When Chuck is in the Buymore he watches Casey more. Chuck will watch the way he strides across the floor and think to himself that John's walk is military, that it tells everyone to not mess with him. Chuck notices the way John's pants curve around the muscles in ways that it simply doesn't do for other employs of the Buymore. Chuck likes the way John gets into selling the grills to customers; on bad days Chuck likes to pretend he's working near Casey when he's selling things it calms him down.
When Chuck is on missions and has Casey's voice in his ear he feels strong and more capable. It doesn't matter when Casey is nearby that he doesn't have official training or that he got kicked out of college for something he didn't even do. Casey believes in Chuck, well somewhat believes in Chuck and that's all that matters. Chuck knows that Sarah is pulling him around by the strings of his heart, well Sarah thinks she has him wrapped around her pinky finger and only Chuck knows that's not true. Chuck knows that it's not Sarah he wants next to him when he wakes up in the morning but John. John with his deep blue eyes and strong figure.
John Casey is nothing like Bryce Larkin. Bryce was honeyed words and a promise of something more that never happened. Casey is almost the flat out truth with the promise of nothing and yet Chuck feels like he can trust Casey more than he ever did with Bryce. Bryce was dark hair and a slim figure muttering under his breath as he worked in the glow of a desk lamp, a college student, and an agent. John is warm and strong and dependable.
Chuck loves to watch John talk about his guns or his life before meeting Chuck. He becomes so animated and happy, this happiness filling Chuck's body like sunlight on a chilly Sunday morning. Chuck wants and needs Casey, his voice his arms, his presence, Chuck needs everything and yet nothing all at once from him. Some days Chuck watches John Casey on missions and some days Chuck likes to think of what would have happened if he had met John first instead of Sarah, but Chuck has come to accept at least this part of his life, Chuck will never have Casey and that's how it will always be.