B is for beauty (and the beast)
Vanity and arrogance came easily to Rosalie in her human life, and everybody fueled this. Girls wanted to be her, and guys wanted to date her. Her father, ever since she was a little girl, always told her how beautiful she was, and her mother told her the importance of always looking her best, no matter where she was. From the tender age of six, before she went to bed, her hair would be put into rollers, and she would sleep uncomfortably to look "beautiful" the next day.
Emmett, on the other hand, did not care about his appearance. Covered in mud from the moment he could walk and out of the bath the moment he could slip out of his mother's arms, he was simply never told the importance of looking nice. In church, he would be forced into his good clothes, the least ragged of the clothes stuffed in one drawer, and his father would hold him with one hand, and comb his hair with the other. No, he'd never really cared about his appearance, and probably never would. It just didn't concern him as much as play fighting with his brothers and having fun.
In immortality, things changed for Rosalie.
Somewhat, that is.
After that fateful last night of being human, where all her dignity was stripped off of her and lay, strewn across the dirty ground along with her precious clothes, things began to change in Rosalie's mind. Royce, that disgusting excuse for a human being, had taken all of her self worth. She did not care whether she lived; she did not even mind if she died. In fact, in those last merciless moments of her human life, she begged to die. She begged whoever was up there, doing this to her, just to kill her off right now. She demanded it, in fact, like the little princess she thought she was.
And as Rosalie lay in that crimson pool of her own blood, she reflected back on her short life. Would her mother be proud? Of course she wouldn't - her hair was crusting as she thought the very words, sticking to her bruised and bloodied face that was so swollen she could have passed for something out of a horror movie. It wasn't a movie though. This is your life, Rosalie kept saying to herself. No, actually, this is your death. She almost laughed.
She told Emmett one day of her last day, after he'd told her to stop fussing - she looked beautiful regardless. She had snapped at him for the first time since they had been together.
"No, I don't!" Rosalie had yelled, angrily pulling his hands from her waist. "You don't understand, and you never will!"
"Then tell me," he said gently, sitting her down. She shook her head and then a glaze fell over her eyes.
"I can't," she breathed, covering her eyes with her manicured hands. She shook her head again.
"You can," he squeezes her hands. "Just try. It's okay."
And for once, she believed him. Carefully uncovering her eyes, she breathed in. "I was beautiful, once. I was a silly eighteen year old, who thought the world of herself..but I was beautiful.
I was admired by everyone, and my parents were proud of me. I loved who I was. I could have easily gotten a husband - something my mother wanted for me very much. So, when my father left his lunch at home one day, my mother sent me to go and give it to him at his office. He worked at a bank, and was a respected figure. His colleagues, in turn were, too. I was dolled up in my best dress and curled hair, and my makeup was done finely. My mother, bless her, hoped I would catch the attention of someone there. His name..." Rosalie chokes on her own words and closes her eyes. Emmett rubs her back gently and pulls her to his chest. She lets one heaving sob out and then sits up, feeling utterly sick and dizzy, but determined to finish her story.
"His name was Royce King II, to be specific. He wasn't attractive - but he certainly thought I was. By the end of the day I had received a bunch of roses and a posy of violets.
We courted for a while, and he showered me with compliments and gifts. I basked in my own shallowness and vanity. I thought I was just the luckiest girl around - I had a wonderful family, I was beautiful, and it was a simpler time. We became engaged and I just about skipped everywhere in long dresses, lovely hats, gorgeous heels. All the girls were jealous.
A week before the wedding, I went to visit my friend. She was going to be my chief bridesmaid and I wanted to show her my dress, so I had the pictures ready. She was my best friend, and I was very excited, because she'd just had her baby boy, Henry." A dreamy look etched against Rosalie's features and she sighed, a heaving sigh that indicated her sadness.
"Oh, he was the most gorgeous little boy, dimples, curls, chubby cheeks, and those tiny feet! Oh, to think about him now. He'd be in his eighties! Vera - my best friend's name - was a lovely woman, just older than me. I know this is terrible but she wasn't as beautiful as me. She never seemed to mind, though. I was just on my way out when her husband arrived home. When he planted that tender kiss on her cheek, and then pinched little Henry's nose, I saw true love. Royce, he never kissed me like that. With Royce, it was hair pulling and lip biting and pinching. I went home pondering the meaning of our impending marriage if it was going to be loveless and a pit from hell for the next fifty years. My parents wanted me to though, so I walked home with a heavy heart."
Emmett fought the urge to break something, to hurt someone for daring to hurt his beautiful Rosie. To him, she was ever more beautiful for coming out on top of this, however it would have ended. He had to be strong for her.
"On my way home, I saw Royce. Immediately I knew I should hurry home, but he called me, and he was drunk, very drunk. His friends were, too, I could see that much. He took me under his arm roughly and laughed at me struggling. He said: "This is my lovely Rosy-Posy! Eh, give us a smile, love. What did I say? Smile, you filthy little brazen hussy." Emmett pulls the broken girl towards himself, outwardly cringing at the words being said.
"I told him that I was disappointed, and that I'd see him when he'd sobered up. I was disgusted, really. His breath reeked, I'd never forget it, and that's why I'd never touch alcohol, even now. He grabbed my wrist and I tried to shake myself free, but I was still a child, in honesty. I was far too young to be married then. Royce...he was twenty six. It wasn't uncommon for a man to go out and spend the night with a lady, but a young woman was expected to save herself. And I had, really. I had waited for my wedding night, for so long. I was excited for my wedding dress, my hair, my veil, hanging onto my Father's hand, because, bless him, he tried. He robbed me of that experience, and I'll never get my wedding day back, and I'll never get that experience. You know, saving myself for the right person. That's you, Emmett. And I...I'm damaged. It's not fair on you."
"That is not true." Emmett roars, wide eyed and horrified. In truth, he was always on edge, to begin with. He always believed this life would be taken away from him in the blink of an eye. How was this real life? He was supposed to be dead, but his Rosie - his angel, had saved him.
"But it is, and you know it! Shut up. If you want to hear my story, then shh. I told him to let go of me right now, and he just laughed, and pushed me towards one of his friends. I didn't know their names. I do now. I'll always remember. Royce, Harry, Ernest, and Leroy. I think I was pushed towards Harry. He shrugged and laughed in my face, too. Then he spat at me. "I don't want her, Royce," he'd said, a little uncomfortably. Well, how did he think I felt if he felt bad?
Royce said, 'Well, who's gonna have our little round-heels here? Come on, she's fresh meat.' I spat in his face then. It wasn't a good move, I know, but I was seething. Spitting with anger, literally. He twisted my arm until I screamed and then told me if I screamed one more time he'd give me a reason to. I was crying, and people were passing us by, but they came few and far between at that ungodly hour, and many were older ladies who weren't prepared to help me. Needless to say...I did scream again. He was pulling my hair, pushing me to the next who would punch me in the ribs, then he'd pass me on..I was bloodied and bruised and they were only just getting started.
I just felt so exhausted, emotionally and physically. I didn't care if they killed me, I just wanted the pain to end. And if that meant the end of my life, then I welcomed death. I just hoped it'd arrive sooner rather than later. Once I was totally and utterly defenseless..."
Rosalie takes a deep breath and once again buries her head in her hands. Talking about the heinous act carried out on her those years ago made the cuts reopen and dug the knife in her back further and further, until it felt like it was cutting at her soul, her very being. It made her feel the pain at full force all over again; in fact, it was like it was happening in front of her closed eyes as she said every word, and it sickened her. She rubs her hands together and nervously plays with her fingers.
"Once I was defenseless, Royce truly began his attack. The punches and pinches were almost okay compared to what comes next, and the stings of the slaps across my face numb as easy as that." She reaches for her cheek and absentmindedly rubs it. It still hurts sometimes, even though Rosalie knows it's all in her head. "The worst thing that can happen to a young lady, the most violating act that can ever be performed, the..the very thing that just made my heart and spirit sink like a bird with a broken wing, happened next. He told me that a floozy like me deserves this, and what did I, being his fiance, think I was doing, cavorting round in short dresses and acting like I belonged in a whore house?" Rosalie knew if her cheeks could, they'd be flushing pink in embarrassment. "And then he ripped off my dress..my goodness, I loved that dress," she sighed, and then caught a hold of herself. What was she talking about? Emmett snorted, he simply couldn't help it, and she giggled. Her face grew serious after a millisecond, though, and she continued on. "Before I had the chance to react, he pushed me back. I was already kneeling. My ribs had taken such a beating I couldn't stand." Anger flared through Emmett's still veins and his head pulsed in shock. While he knew something terrible had happened, he'd assumed it was an accident that had claimed Rosalie's human life, like his was.
"He headbutted me as he pushed his face against mine, kissing me roughly and holding me by the neck. It was like I was a dog. He was claiming me, in front of his friends. My body fought to knock me into unconsciousness, but I needed to stay awake. I needed to know what happened to me in the moments leading up to my death. Ultimately, I had assumed Royce was right. In many respects, I believed him, because I was a stupid little girl. I did like to flaunt myself. I wore heels and when the wind blew up my skirt, well, I didn't care. I know now, it wasn't my fault. He would have done it regardless, but called me a prude and needing a lesson before the real deal on our wedding day. Someone convinced me that it wasn't my fault, and I admire her more than I've ever admired anyone."
Rosalie's thoughts flash to Esme, her new mother. She bitterly resented this life and the whole charade - why should she have to have two new parents? Two fake parents? She quite liked the idea of having them both as parents, and she yearned to love them and have them love her back even though she couldn't help but resent Carlisle, but she couldn't risk it. When Esme smiled and Rosalie and told her of the demise of her own human life, Rosalie blurted out hers. Thankfully it was only the two of them in the house. But when Rosalie sighed and blamed herself for the brutal rape and almost murder, Esme went ballistic.
"Young lady! Never say that! Now, I don't care if you went streaking, walked stark naked through the streets of New York in the winter, no-one should ever do that to you." And then she encased her into a big hug.
"I'm getting off task. That's what would have happened. We want what really happened. And that's like this: He ripped my dress off and pulled my hair some more - he loved that, it seems. Don't know why. Don't wanna know why," she shudders, "I didn't have the strength to fight, I just stared blankly at him. It freaked him out. Laying there, naked and alone, I didn't feel anything but fear. It was natural instinct. The disgust had passed, though I threw up as he stroked my face. I didn't want his hands anywhere near me.
"Now, my Posy Possum, did you really want to do that?" He said, and I nodded. Another bad move, right? Provoking your attacker. Well, I was going to die whether I wound him up or not. After that, a sick smirk had spread across his face and then...he raped me. I won't go into the details, you know how sex works. Though I wouldn't count that as any sort of "love making". It was awful, and it hurt, and it was my first time, and it shouldn't have been a time at all.
And then Leroy took the spotlight, and it happened all over again. By this time I was bleeding and they were complaining about it, like I had a say. That was when I started to cry again. Silent tears ran down my face and I shook with sobs. Harry took one look at me and sneered in disgust. "Look at her, I can't have any fun with that sniveling mess. And ugh, look at the blood running down her legs. For her pins, Royce, I have to say, I'm impressed. How'd you bag a woman like that?" Royce laughed and hit Harry on the back. I...I thought they were done," she says, her voice finally cracking and her composure crumbling like her defense walls had when she first met Emmett. She had put up walls and blocked the memories out, and now they were flooding back to her like a tsunami. "But they were only just getting started on the...the actual rape. Next was Ernest, he had a belly laugh too, and said he didn't mind a bit of blood and tears. And so he took his turn. I think he took the longest. He enjoyed my crying, whereas the others didn't seem to like it as much. I was a beautiful girl and I think I was all that they could get - a little girl lost, beaten and being held down by his pathetic friends. I don't know why he enjoyed the crying and I can't for the life of me figure out why.
Next, they all decided they'd finally had enough. They spat at me and kicked me for one final time before whistling and saying, "I'll see you at the wedding, sweetheart."
Royce had the cheek to tell me to get cleaned up in time, and that those bruises better have healed by the time or their honeymoon, or he'd do this all over again. He said he wanted me to look fresh, clean, and like I had saved myself. I just cried. They left, and I curled up into a ball and waited for death."
"You just stayed there, laying on the ground?" Emmett says, dismayed. He couldn't believe no-one would help his wonderful, amazing, beautiful, charming angel. Rosalie nods sadly, and the faintest smile crossed her features.
"Yes, I couldn't move, and life was different. If young girls helped, they'd be hurt too. If an older lady passed, well, I was a young girl, deserving of whatever punishment her husband had doled out. And men? Men were superior to us women, so they ignored me too. My story isn't finished yet, though."
"Go on," Emmett gently encourages. He pulls Rosalie down onto the pillows and they lay together, breathing in the same rhythm, and Rosalie continues.
"Carlisle, attracted to the scent of my blood, came towards me. By this time, I was into the blackness of my subconscious, and it was a blissful silence. He bit me and took me back to his office. My lovely darkness was awoken with a sharp pain - the bite, of course, and then the fire. The burning fire...it just hurt so badly. More than anything I've ever had done to me - though I preferred it to the violent attack earlier that night. I felt it spread to every nook and cranny in my being. And then...it stopped. I woke up to see Esme watching me. A small smile spread across her face and she called out to me. "Ah, and the little lady is awake. Carlisle!"
I looked at my hands, and they were the same. My legs, if not a little slimmer, seemed the same. I looked at my face in the mirror. My features were more defined, a little more beautiful. I was pale, very pale. I thought I was sick. And then I remembered the night before. I touched my face - maybe this strange lady had put makeup on me? Of course Esme hadn't, I was healed. I was no longer sore anywhere, thank goodness. I prayed to god, naively, that I wasn't pregnant. Little did I know I would've been lucky! Though I didn't want any part of him inside me, not even a baby."
"I wish I could give you the one thing you want," Emmett says gently, squeezing her shoulder.
"Me too. I wish I could give you a baby,"
"I have you. That's all I need."
"Good. Now let me finish.
Carlisle didn't seem to hear Esme, but she didn't call again, instead, turning her attention to me. "I'm Mrs Cullen. My first name is Esme. And you are, dear?" Esme asked, a little tentatively. I stared at her blankly. I couldn't understand what had happened and I was in shock. Still, Esme smiled and continued to tell me about her family. She was the wife of Dr Cullen, who changed me into a vampire. Edward, a boy who had been changed a while ago, before Esme, lived with them as their "nephew". I simply nodded, taking it all in. This woman felt like the only person in the world who I could trust.
"What about my family?" I asked, interrupting her. My voice cracked, "I want my Mother!"
"Oh, sweetheart," she said, and then she encased me in a hug, holding me close. "You're different now. Your family may sense something is different and then they would be in danger."
"I was going to get married next week," I said, and then she hugged me again. "I don't want to, but my parents will be upset."
"You were very badly injured. You probably would have died, if you hadn't have been changed."
"Thank you," I said, hoarsely. My throat hurt a lot. "My throat is sore. Burning."
"Yes...and that's where my family is different. We're vegetarians. If you think you can handle that, then please..join our family. We only feed on animal blood."
I thought I probably could, and agreed to join their family. Esme told me all about vampires - abilities, features..drawbacks. Anyway, you've had the transformation talk, you know. Later, Esme informed me that at first, they'd intended for me to be Edward's mate, but he wasn't interested. I was angry at first, but it wasn't for long. Edward isn't interested in anyone.
At first, I did well. I stayed to the diet, and didn't buckle. But I was angry. I wasn't angry, actually, I was seething with fury. I'm not proud of this, but believe me, I'd do it again and again, because it felt great, but I'm not proud. Carlisle and Esme thankfully understood."
Confused, Emmett sat up, and wondered what on earth his Rosie could have done that made Esme and Carlisle "understand". They didn't mind what the kids did in general, why would they mind this? What did she do?
"Ah, now you're interested. One by one, I stalked each one of the original four that performed that act on me, the attack that turned my heart stone and made my blood run cold." Watching the love of her life's jaw drop open almost made her feel remorse. Almost.
"My girlfriend...is bad-ass." He simply said, throwing her in the air. It made her smile for the first time since starting her story and she knew everything would be okay. She also knew, to really rid herself of the horror that lay inside, stopping her and Emmett going any further in her relationship, the one she intended to keep, she had to complete her story.
"Of course I am," she scoffed. "I decided to start with the one who caused the least damage, but I couldn't figure out who that was. So I started with Ernest. He was a fat man with a small house, easy to get into. I didn't tell anyone where I was going, I just said I needed some time to myself, to get over what happened - find closure, if you will.
I decided to wait till he was alone. There was no point in hurting his wife and new baby. They'd gone to a mother and baby group. I also made the decision that while I was going to kill each and every one of them, I vowed to not spill a single drop of any of their blood. I was repulsed by the thought of having any of them inside of me, lingering and festering. Disgusting. I broke into the house making as much noise as possible. Ernest was asleep, sitting on the couch, so cozy. I stood an inch away from him and put my face close to his. And then I said, "Boo."
He screamed, and his eyes almost bulged out of his head as he stared at me. I smirked. "Did you miss me, Ernest?" He almost wet himself. I twisted his limbs one by one, and made sure I heard the click before I moved onto the next. It was satisfying to say the least.
Next, I pondered how to kill him without spilling blood. It would be hard. I thought asphyxiation would be best, as it's quick but painful. And so clean! Lovely. I found one of his belts, and tied it around his neck. Next, I hung him from the staircase banister, and then I left a note.
Revenge is a dish best served cold, but that's okay, I'm cold, too.
I did the same for the next two, and then it was Royce's turn. It had to be my grand finale, because Royce knew I was coming. I know he did. So I went out in the dead of the night and I searched for a bridal shop. I found a fancy one on the outskirts of Rochester, and broke in. I browsed through the dresses and found the shortest, tackiest dress you could ever find. For dramatic effect, I also stole a horrible hair flower bouquet and an ugly pair of ivory shoes, decorated with feathers. I didn't bother with a veil. I didn't want my face obstructed at all. I left five hundred dollars on the counter and then made my way to Royce.
He had locked himself in a windowless room, with a steel door, and two guards blocking the entrance. With a pang of regret, I ended two perfectly decent human lives, with two swift kicks, I knocked their heads side wards, killing the, instantly. Again, there was no blood to tempt me with. I've still never tasted a drop of human blood, and I'm proud of myself.
I burst in, and laughed. "Awful security, Royce, dearest." He almost jumped straight out of his skin.
"W-what do you want? How are you alive? Where have you been?"
"I've been around..watching..and waiting."
"I knew it was my turn next." He chatters, shivering. I roll my eyes.
"You're a big boy, Royce! Don't look so scared. Did I look that scared? Huh? The little girl you violated? You don't have an answer. That's alright. Look, I'm all prettied up. Got my face on. Oh, but these shoes hurt." And then I picked one up, and threw it straight through the wall. "I don't want to get blood on your floor, that would be awfully rude of me. So...strangling or throwing you against a wall until you bleed internally and die of blood loss. Hmm..I wouldn't wanna get my dress dirty either. I know! I'm going to unscrew you part by part. Starting at the feet...I'll break them. Then your legs. I won't stop there. I'll break your back and watch you try and escape."
Emmett hated that Rosalie had been brought to such harsh measures, but he was thankful that she could look after herself.
"And that's what I did. I didn't get the dress dirty. I donated all the stuff to charity. So someone was happy. After that, I went home and came clean. Carlisle was horrified. He spends his life trying to save lives and I just murdered six. Esme told him that he wouldn't understand what I went through. I said nothing.
And then we all hugged, and everything was okay. I began to trust them. They're okay, really. Better than okay. I think I love them."
"I do too." Emmett says. He pauses.
"I'll understand if you don't want to be with me anymore. I'm an awful person, I know."
"No. You're not. You're so strong and brave and amazing and don't get upset, but you are so beautiful, inside and out. We all know that." Emmett takes a deep breath. "I've been thinking..and if you don't mind, I mean, I'd be okay if you said no, you know? Because I don't want to force you-"
"What is it?"
"Rosalie Lillian Hale..." Emmett kneels to one knee and pulls a little black box out of his pocket. "Will you marry me?"
"Yes!" Rosalie cried, throwing her arms around him. She knew, no matter what, he would always protect her, cherish her, be amazed by her and worship the ground that she walked on.
She also knew that she loved him a lot, and would always do so. They'd been together for a few years now, and it just felt right. She trusted him entirely, and had told him the story. After doing so, she felt ten pounds lighter.
Maybe she's still a beauty, trying to find her way in the world, and maybe he's just a beast...tall and brawn, and ready for a play fight whenever, but maybe, maybe, they belong together.
A/N:
Hey guys. How are you all? Good, I hope! (:
Anyways, back to the story: This chapter was so hard to write! I spent like two days continually writing it and I really really hope it lives up to your standards, because I'm quite proud of it. It was also quite draining! When you put so much effort into something, you have to throw yourself into it properly. I had to put myself in Rosalie's shoes, and in that situation you can't just jump out of it and be happy afterwards. And it's quite long, so I guess that's good. So I really hope you enjoyed this and continue to enjoy your day. (:
EDIT: After I wrote this first AN...CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS IS 5000 words?!
Oh, and by the way, this will be updated once a week, on either Friday, Saturday, or Sunday. It was supposed to be every Sunday...but my resolve weakened even though I only had one review! Even if you don't want to review...please drop me a line just to tell me what you think. :)
Thank you KittieKat121.
And of course Jules Ann, who always sends me lovely reviews which are very much appreciated. (:
~ Caitlin