"Whoa, crashed into a truck, huh? That's harsh." Cosima muttered. Those were the first words she thought to utter after Kevin turned off the broadcast of her funeral. Once her body was lowered into the ground, there wasn't much else to watch.

"Yes, I'm afraid, so Ms. Niehaus." Kevin said simply, but eyeing her warily. He had been here before. Some of his clients appeared calm before lunging forward. Sometimes they just threw up, other times they whipped the papers off of his desk. On really bad days, they would lunge for him. There was always some signal that things would take a turn, but not with this one. She remained seated, unreadable. So he waited.

"So, what is this place, it looks like my guidance counselor's office."

"In a way it is. This office is a counselor's office and we just project it based on your memory of whatever your experience was.

"Was?" Cosima breathed shakily. That was the first time she really heard about herself in the past tense. During the funeral, she registered that her chosen family were referring to her, but she never caught on until this moment. She was a 'was' and wouldn't be much more than that soon enough. Kevin kept his weary eye on her, waiting for the break. But again, she shifted, opting to observe the room they were seated in more closely.

"I see it now. It's the office of my high school counselor's office. Cool." She smiled a genuine smile, all teeth and shiny eyes. "Thanks for not using the college guy's office. He was a dick."

"We're aware." Kevin said.

"You're aware?" Kevin patted the thin manila folder marked with her name. She nodded in understanding. "Ok, so if you have access to all of my memories, then how come my file is so small? I mean is it like hella tiny print or something?"

Despite himself, Kevin's lips upturned slightly. He had a feeling that he would like her when he was given her file a week before she arrived. They had similar dispositions (or had when he was alive) and they might have gotten along in life. Still, he had to keep a professional distance with her as he did with all of his clients. She wouldn't be here for long.

Cosima, to her credit, kept the corner of her eye trained on her counselor and saw him smile and quickly adjust himself. 'Can't get too close, I get that' She sighed, shaking the last of the sadness of seeing her family cry over her away to get back to why she was sitting in front of him now.

"So, what is this place? Why am I here?" She asked knowing getting back to business gave them both an out, allowing them to stop thinking about Cosima's fate and what she left behind.

"Right, yes, of course." Kevin started. Suddenly his voice changed from a distinctly Northern California accent to an accent closely resembling Sarah's. Unexpectedly, Cosima jumped from her chair and spun towards the door.

"What happened to your voice?!" She yelled. Unfortunately, the obvious terror she was experiencing betrayed her desire to seem angry, yet in control.

"Ms. Niehaus, please have a seat." He continued in this voice. "I can explain, but you have to have a seat, for both of our comfort."

"Do you think that talking like that brings me comfort?!" She asked bewildered.

"Yes." He responded simply. She blinked, not expecting a straightforward answer. In life, people usually soften blows, try not to hurt. Well, everyone in her life except her Sarah. She picked up the fallen chair and placed in further away from his desk. Watching him cautiously, she held her breath, afraid of the incoming inflection that mirrored for life long friend. She swallowed and waved her hand for him to continue.

He took a breath. When he opened his mouth, he knew that his voice would still be heavily accented to match her friend's. He had no control over it. It wasn't his decision, but it was meant to give her some sort of peace. "Ms. Niehaus, this voice, this accent closely resembles the one person in your life that gave you comfort. The one person that you trusted more than any other, yeah? Sarah Manning, is her name, correct?"

Cosima nodded, but said nothing more, preferring to study her hands instead of meeting his eyes.

"Well, I'm meant to use this voice to explain the process. To provide some sort of relief through this bit. I can't control it, so it may change depending on the circumstances. But this is the accent you need, right now. So I'm going to continue. Is that alright?"

Cosima again nodded, but said nothing. Tears gathered in her eyes, but none fell.

He continued, but his voice was softer, more personal. "This place is like a holding station until you reach the next stage." He waited to see if she would ask any questions. Her file indicated that she was highly inquisitive, even skeptical. He cleared his schedule today because he figured he'd spend the bulk of time explaining as much of the process as he was allowed to the doe eyed dreadlocked woman. Instead, her head remained bowed, her hands clenching and unclenching, but voiceless.

"You'll be here a total of 34 days. In that time, you'll review sections of your life, divided into the type of life event it was. I want to prepare you Cosima, they aren't all pleasant memories. But you need to see them." She looked up through the tops of her glasses but kept her head down.

"What kinds of memories?"

"I can't answer that specifically at this time. But before those days, you'll visit me so that I can best prepare you."

Looking up, he saw her glassy eyes and tried not to visibly react. "There's no way out, is there?" she asked quietly.

"'Fraid not."

"Ok," she sighed resigned to her life, if that's what this was, "so, I watch a bunch of shitty home movies and then what? I float away? I go to heaven, hell. What's the point of this?"

"Well, the videos are to give you a glimpse of your life, yes. A sort of reminder, but you'll also be privy to the repercussions of your actions. You'll be viewing all of that as well, Ms. Niehaus."

Cosima blinked, clearly not expecting to be told that everything she did to other people would be revealed to her. "What if I don't want to see that?" She asked through clenched teeth, preferring to return her gaze to her uncharacteristically still hands.

"You have no choice in the matter. Besides you'll need to know what the other side has to say about you during the trial."

Cosima's head whipped upward, sending her dreads swinging backwards and landing hard on her shoulders. "Trial? There's a trial."

"Yes, Ms. Niehaus. You're here to defend your life."

Suddenly, she thanked whatever entities in charge that Kevin had Sarah's accent. Though it was still freaking her out, it brought her some sort of comfort. It was the closest to home as she was going to have. Still, if she were capable of getting headaches, she would be visited by a particularly vicious one right now. As a reflex, she rubbed her forehead to ward it off. "What does that mean, defending my life?"

"Well, you'll have to convince the panel that the life you've led is a good life. If you are successful, you get to move on to the next stage. The better stage."

"What like Heaven?" She asked incredulously.

"Some people do call it Heaven, Ms. Niehaus. But it's our own personal vision of the better stage. If God is what you wish to be a part of it, it will happen. If an unending ice cream bar is your idea of the better stage, then it will be there."

"Sounds wonderful." She said quietly and for the first time in several minutes, her smile returned, though it was turned way down from its pervious 100-wattage. Kevin nodded in agreement waited for the inevitable next question.

"And if I lose? What happens if this judgy panel deems my life too crappy to get a better stage invite?"

Kevin smiled sadly very briefly. He didn't like this part. It was highly unpredictable. Some people found comfort in his answer, others broke down, begging on their knees for it not to be true. One of his clients attempted to open up his wrists with a letter opener, only to see the wounds close just as quickly as it split open. It didn't change anything. Everyone had to go through the process, and depending on the life, the news could be torture.

"If you are unsuccessful in your arguments, you'll return to earth, reborn to try again."

"Oh, god, really?" Cosima laughed ruefully. "I don't know what to say to that, I'm sorry."

He waved her off. He took a breath and she noticed it. Her full smile returned and her hands unfolded. "This," she waved animatedly around the room, her bracelets clanging about, "this is the hard part, I'm guessing. People have a reaction to it, am I right?"

"Am I that obvious?" He asked smiling despite himself.

"A little. Ok," she started standing pacing. Kevin noticed it wasn't an angry or anxious pacing. It was more in line with her personality trait. A natural curiosity, a desire to put the pieces together, causing her to pace the room and unleash her hands from her sides. "So, I have 34 days, and the videos I guess will be used as evidence for me and the defense. So…" she stopped and cocked her head to the side trying to decide something. "I do have one question."

"Yes, Ms. Niehaus."

She took a seat and cocked her head again, training her eyes onto his, and smiling. "Do I have to wear this ugly robe?" She laughed and pulled at the garment.

It was standard issue. Everyone, including the counselors, and members of the panel wore them. It had been a long time since someone questioned the attire. "I'm afraid so. But in your private quarters, you'll find clothes that are more, well you. They'll only be seen there, however. Once you step out of your room, you'll be back in your robe."

"Well better than the alternative, right?" Kevin cocked his head, mirroring Cosima's earlier posture. As if a light bulb had gone off over his head, he smiled.

"Ah, yes, right no. No nudity outside of your quarters."

"So, sex?" She asked cocking an eyebrow, face full of mischief.

Kevin had picked a wrong time to casually take a long needed sip of his coffee. He thought the conversation was coming a close, but Cosima Niehaus was clearly starting to loosen up and display all of her quirky personality traits in their first meeting.

She laughed and sat back as he attempted to wipe down his desk of the liquid that spewed from his mouth. He scowled at her, but her smile never dimmed. He could do nothing but roll his eyes and answer her questions and go over any other rules of the middle stage.

"Yes, sex is allowed in your quarters."

"But like what kind? Is it only like…" He cut her off with the raising of his hand before she could continue. He was getting from this line of questioing that she was now playfully testing him. To see what kind of person he was and how he would relate to a woman as cheeky as her.

"Any kind of sex between consenting adults." He responded as nonchalantly as he could.

"So like…" She started again.

"Ms. Niehaus, if you will allow me to continue to describe the process and the rules, I would be happy to answer any follow up questions." She opened her mouth to speak again, but he interrupted her, "Within reason." She smiled, appreciating that he was so pretty chill about her messing with him. It provided some sort of normalcy to this whole ordeal.

They talked for a long time after he went over rules and schedules. It was all so official, so clinical. The process was so devoid of personal touches, it was a little disheartening. Was this all they were in the end, a file folder, a trial, and then gone? It was a little too heady, a little too much for Cosima to comprehend. She couldn't help but to get lost in that question, is this all we are. So much, so that when Kevin stopped talking, she didn't respond.

"Ms. Niehaus" he asked again, touching her shoulder. When had he stood up, Cosima wondered. He was holding a book for her to take.

"What is this? Don't tell me it's the Handbook For the Recently Deceased." She chuckled quietly. He looked down at her, another small smile playing on his lips.

"Sort of." He answered. "Read it, it gives more direct instructions on how to navigate things around here. It's very useful."

"You really are like Juno, aren't you?"

"Juno?" He asked genuinely confused by the comparison.

"You know Juno, the case worker from Beetlejuice."

He smile, but said nothing more. Cosima couldn't read his expression no matter how long she held his gaze. Kevin for his part wished it was going to be a playful time for Cosima. Sure, there would be moments of joy while she was here. But someone once explained to him that this time felt like decades of therapy sessions crammed into a few days, while everyone you've ever wronged or wronged you, chimed in. He was certain she wasn't ready for it, so he let her make jokes at his expense. Anything to lessen the blows to come. Still, it was time to get her settled. He moved towards the door, when he noticed that she hadn't budged. He took a seat at the edge of his desk to be closer to her.

"How are you feeling about all of this, Ms. Niehaus?"

She first rubbed her thighs in an attempt to quell whatever was plaguing her, the feeling that pulled at her since she sat down to face Kevin for the first time. But she couldn't run from this, so she just opened her mouth.

"I'm scared." Her bottom lip trembled violently and she hid her face in her hands.

He nodded in understanding. She was not unique in this regard. All of his clients expressed this at one point in the process. He did however think it would take longer for Cosima to admit it. He put his hand on her shoulder to offer some comfort. It wouldn't take away all of the pain to come, but it was what she needed in this moment. She lifted her head and smiled sadly up at him. How many versions of that smile was she capable of, he wondered. For a moment he felt like more of her protector than her counselor and that was not strictly allowed in his position. He stood up and offered her his hand. She graciously accepted. As he moved them to the door, he offered one last piece of advice before setting her loose.

"Ms. Niehaus, you've gathered so far that things are a little different here. So, I'll tell you this now. I read in your file that you have a tendency to as you would say 'massage the truth'. Even if you tried to do it here, it wouldn't work. Lying is impossible. So, my advice, if you think you need to massage any truths while you're out there, just stop talking."

She glared at him skeptically, but accepted his advice with a head nod. He continued steering her towards the door. "Follow the arrows on the ground. They're marked only for you and they'll take you to your room. Until next time, Ms. Niehaus."

She found herself on the other side of the door, wanting to return to the safety of its walls. Turning around meant accepting everything he told her was real. The purpose of her being here, what she had to do, all realities if she turned her head.

"This is stupid," she chided herself. Taking a few deep breaths she slowly turned around. "Oh" she said, a little disappointed. This middle place looked like an ordinary big city. She wondered if this was another projection to protect all of its inhabitants fragile minds. If they didn't have to worry about where they were, they could focus on their trials. Still Cosima wished that this once in her (after)lifetime place she was stuck in didn't look so ordinary.

After visually surveying her surroundings from her one spot, she finally looked down, searching for her arrows. There they were, a mash of swirling colors. Cosima broke into a huge grin, appreciating how simple visual cues could tap into the happy place in her soul. She held her manual tight and followed the arrows to her room.

While walking, she noticed that many people were doing the same. Studying the ground intently to go from place to place, but no one ran into each other. They weren't passing through one another either; but there existed some sort of harmony where everyone knew which steps the people in front of them were going to take. Cosima stopped for a moment to observe it. It was memorizing to see hundreds of people in the same outfits flowing around each other. For the briefest of moments, she felt like dancing. To have her arms, her hands match the fluidity of the crowd. In the distance she heard music start up. Her favorite song to dance to. Cosima quickly realized that this place was opening up to her desires, playing this song overhead so she would move to it.

So she did. She set her manual down and started with a gentle sway. Before long, her arms were in the sky and she was spinning effortlessly, unabashedly. The music got louder as the song progressed, as Cosima lost herself in it. Her eyes stayed closed and she was home in Felix's loft again with her family. Her and Sarah dancing and laughing, Kira jumping and giggling. She laughed and danced and the tears started to fall. Still, no one stopped to observe this woman lost in movement, lost in grief and despair. But she saw her. And she did stop and stare. When the music ended, Cosima opened her bleary eyes and caught sight of her staring. She smiled at the stranger before turning away. Cosima hadn't noticed that when she first locked eyes with Delphine Cormier, her arrows illuminated the ground as bright as they possibly could and for a moment encouraged Cosima to abandon her original route.