Chapter 2

Disasters

Disclaimer- I own nothing!

Looking down into the sink Yuri took a deep breath. He had no other choice, he had to tell Viktor the truth. Whispering, "forgive me Viktor." He looked into the bathroom mirror and met his lover's eyes in the reflection, "A doctor already told me. I…I'm pregnant, Viktor."

Yuri saw Viktor's mouth drop as the wheels started to turn, how it all suddenly seemed to make sense. He expected a lot of things in this moment, so many reactions he wasn't sure he could even think of one if he was asked. What he wasn't expecting though was to see Viktor's eyes become watery. Turning around to face him he saw him leave the bathroom.

"Viktor!" Going after him he stopped in the hallway as he saw him go down the stairs. Sinking to his knees he felt his own eyes start to cry. He never should have told him the truth. He should have just sent him away and lied about why he was so sick. Maybe this was for the best though. He wanted Viktor to go and never look back on them, no matter how much pain it put him in now. Putting his head against the door frame he just let the tears flow. This is what he deserved. After everything that had gone on between them he deserved this.

Trying to pull himself together and try to get his life in order, Yuri forced himself to shower and get dressed before seeing his parents. Being around food made him nauseous as he couldn't handle the smells but he would keep it together, he had too. He promised them to give him a day to rest and they did so now he had to try and be pleasant around them. This would help pass the time as he waited for Viktor to come back. He knew he would, Makkachin was here and he knew he wouldn't leave him.

Hearing the store front slider open Yuri saw Viktor coming in and taking his shoes off, a habit he knew Viktor had finally gotten into the habit of doing. Not saying a word to each other he saw Viktor start to go upstairs after he called for Makkachin, who had been hovering nearby all day. They always said dogs could sense the emotion in the room and he knew Makkachin held that rumor true.

"Viktor honey; are you hungry?" At his mother's words both men looked at her before Yuri heard him politely decline and continue heading back upstairs.

"Is everything alright Yuri? I don't mean to overhear but I heard you two fighting this morning."

"We are…having some issues right now, mother."

"I can handle this, why don't you go talk to him."

"I don't think this is something that talking can fix." Feeling his stomach start to flutter before it started to turn he excused himself and went upstairs.

Splashing water in his face, Yuri wished the morning sickness would stop. He was struggling to hide it from his parents as he had to turn away everything he was offered and even when all he had was crackers he was still finding it hard to keep it down. Knowing he needed to talk to Viktor he came out of the bathroom to see his bedroom door was open just a little. Knocking softly he heard Makkachin bark excitingly as he opened the door without getting a reply from Viktor. Seeing him sitting on the couch he could tell in his eyes he still looked heartbroken.

"Are you busy?"

"Not really." Knowing that sound in his voice he knew Viktor was being short with him. This was payback for how he treated him yesterday he just knew it. "What Yuri?"

"I'm sorry Viktor. I'm sorry about all of this." Stepping into his bedroom he stayed close to the door. The tension between them felt like they a barrier around them that they couldn't cross.

"You don't get it do you?" Noticing Viktor getting up, he watched him move to the other side of the room. "I'm not mad at you for telling me you're pregnant. I am surprised but I'm not angry."

"Then what is it? I can see it in your eyes, something is bothering you."

"I'm hurt alright! I'm hurt that instead of telling me this from the start you tried to push me away like I'm just some guy. Some one night stand gone wrong. Do you have any idea how betrayed I feel knowing you decided breaking up with me and trying to get me to go back to Russia was better than telling me we are having a baby! Don't I get the right to know I am going to be a father!?"

Stepping back, Yuri felt his heart beating faster while it just broke smaller and smaller. How could he have been so stupid? He treated Viktor's feelings like garbage. He was completely right, every single word he said was true. He deserved to know, he deserved to be treated better. This baby was caused by carelessness but they cared for each other. This wasn't just some drunk slip up.

"I'm sorry Viktor. You're right. I messed up."

"I get it alright. I could understand not getting off the plane and telling me, or calling me as soon as you found out. This wasn't exactly something we talked about. But, to lie to my face, to push me away again and again, I don't get it. Yuri, I need to know. Why did you want to erase me from the picture?"

Watching Viktor start to tear up again Yuri took another step closer to him. He wanted to be near him, apologize, grovel at his feet, do anything and everything he had too to be forgiven. Though he knew he couldn't be. Yuuko was right, telling Viktor had always been the right thing to do.

"I was thinking about your future Viktor. About your career, about all you could continue with your life. You have everything going for you. Olympic titles, world championships, Grand Prix medals, you're a living legend in the sport. I've heard all the rumors about how I stole you away from the ice. And, I can't let you stay with me. I can't tie you down with a baby. Not when we have only been together a short time."

"That's not your call to make Yuri. What if I don't care about any of that? What if I hoped that one day you and I would marry, live a nice life with a nice family? What if after this grand prix I retired for good anyway and focused on making you the next five time champion?"

"There was never any me! Viktor I…I can't achieve what you have. I saw that when I was alone in Russia. Before all of this I knew I could never compete at the level you did. No matter what I decide for myself right now I can never reach what you have! I can't live the rest of my life knowing I held you back!" Going back at him he wished Viktor could understand where he was coming from. He needed him to see how he decided what he did. How that even though it killed him he needed Viktor to leave him.

"What are you talking about Yuri?! I can't…I don't even know what to say right now. You aren't weak, you've never held me back. I first came here on my own. I saw you had so much untapped potential. If you had believed in yourself you could have surpassed me in no time. But none of this is about that, this is about you being selfish and deciding things for everyone else!"

"Fine! You are right, alright! I am being selfish! I've decided to make every decision on my own! No matter what I decide for myself about this child I was going to make it alone!"

"Are you…are you unsure if you are going to keep the baby?"

Subconsciously putting a hand on his stomach, Yuri's voice quieted. "The ISU gave me a week to decide what I wanted to do before they announced if I was competing or not. Honestly, I'm not sure what I want to do. Either way I know I can never go back to the way things were. I thought that if I decided to not have the baby I could just compete and act like nothing happened. But, I know I couldn't face you and pretend nothing changed. And I figured if I had the baby then I would just go off the radar."

"I was never in the picture in any of your plans, was I?"

Looking down at the floor Yuri shook his head, "no."

"Can I tell you what I would like you to do?" Hearing footsteps slowly come across the room he saw Viktor just a foot or two from him now. He still looked so heartbroken but after everything he put him through Yuri couldn't say he was surprised. "I would like for us to try and raise our child together. I'm not saying we have to jump into a marriage or even stay together. I just want us to try and work together on being good parents for them. We both know the baby you're carrying is a mistake but I'd like them to never have to know that."

"After everything I've done you really want to stay and attempt this with me?"

"Don't get me wrong Yuri. I'm still hurt by what you did. But, I don't want you to do this alone. Not when we both know our actions together caused this. I don't want to fight with you anymore Yuri. I still love you, despite everything."

"I love you too Viktor." Going into his arms, Yuri cried into his chest while he held on close to him. He knew he could never undo the damage he did to their relationship but he was going to try to be a better partner. If after everything, Viktor still wanted to try to work things out than he would try his hardest to. If not for each other than for their child.

Pulling away to wipe his eyes, Yuri started to feel unwell. Between all the fighting, lack of eating, and being sick all day his body wasn't handling it well. Not to mention it was still trying to adjust to the fact that there was a life growing inside of him.

"Yuri? Are you alright?" Hearing Viktor's question he tried to get his eyes to focus on the other. He was so dizzy all of a sudden.

"I think I need to lie down for a bit."

"Here." Feeling Viktor start to pull him towards his bed he tried to move away.

"No. I can go to mine." Getting his legs twisted he felt arms wrap around him before he hit the ground.

"Stop being so damn stubborn for once in your life. You're starting to look really pale." Just letting Viktor do as he pleased, he climbed into his bed and saw Viktor sit on the edge of it to keep an eye on him.

"Have you eaten anything major since you starting having morning sickness?"

"I can't keep anything down."

"You're starving yourself Yuri. That's not good even if you weren't pregnant."

Closing his eyes at loving feeling a hand run through his hair he wished the room would stop spinning.

"Can I try to make you something? I know an old recipe that is used when people are dealing with stomach problems."

"…Sure…but Viktor."

"Hmm?"

"Don't tell my parents about this yet okay? I'm not ready to tell them."

"I won't. Just rest and I'll be right back."

At Viktor's gentle hand at the back of his head he felt his forehead receive a soft kiss before the bed shifted and the room grew quiet. Snuggling into Viktor's comforter Yuri tried to rest though his mind kept reminding him that he was lucky Viktor was so compassionate. Not only for their relationship, but to know their child had such an amazing father as well. Knowing he tried to push Viktor away, tried to bring up their child alone, he started to cry again.

Opening his eyes to Viktor's words he saw he had come back with a bowl of something that didn't smell that strong. Sitting up he carefully took it and looked into it.

"Is this just Miso soup?"

"No, it's something I grew up around back home. It's a clear broth with light seasoning. I added tofu though figuring you could use some protein. Give it a try."

After eating what had been made for him, Yuri stayed in Viktor's bed resting. He had been asked by the other to just relax and take it easy so he did. Rolling over in bed he watched Viktor sitting up on the other side playing with his phone. He figured it would take a lot of time before they ever had what they did before, if it was even something that could be gotten back but he was grateful they could at least be in the same room together. Taking his time to sit up he noticed Viktor was watching him.

"Viktor, I…do you hate me?"

"I don't hate you Yuri. I'm just disappointed is all."

"Do you think we could ever fix ourselves?"

"I'd like to think so. I just need space right now. What you tried to do is beyond anything I could have ever imagined. I always thought that if something came up we would be there for each other, not try to force the other away with hurt."

"Yuuko told me not to do it. I just…I let my mind make a judgement call that my heart should have been making."

"You told Yuuko?"

"Only because I had to tell someone and I wasn't ready to tell you. You said it yourself, this wasn't exactly something we had planned. I didn't know how you would react and I needed advice."

"I'm not mad, I'm glad she was there for you. And I bet she will be really good for you with this. She has been there so when you don't want to talk to your mother about something you can go to her because I can't help you." Witnessing Viktor's lips form a soft smile Yuri noticed this was the first time he saw him smile since he flew back home.

"I really don't want to tell my mother. Both of my parents have always been really supportive of me and my skating. They don't understand it, but they support it."

"And I'm sure they will support this too. I mean, they supported us."

Hearing the past tense of their relationship Yuri couldn't stop himself from curling up. Why did he have to act so selfishly? Why did he have to ruin the best thing to ever happen to him?

Waking up in the middle of the night Yuri quickly moved out of bed to throw up in the garbage can he knew Viktor kept next to the nightstand. Seeing a lamp go on he felt a hand move in circles in his back shortly after.

"Once the sun is up I am taking you to the doctor's. Have you seen one since you found out you were pregnant?"

"No…I don't know anything about how this is going or how far along I am. I know I need to though."

"You need to see if they can help you keep anything down. Though, I'm really glad to know you lasted this long in getting sick."

"No. I've thrown up twice already. It just didn't hit me as quickly." Being honest with him he shifted to throw up again. God he hate this, he hated everything about this.

"I'll be right back. I'm going to get you some water." Losing the pressure of his hand on his back, Yuri moved just a bit to rest against the nightstand. Did he really want to have this baby? Keeping a hand on his abdomen he tried to really think about the pros and the cons, and he couldn't. He really didn't want to end this pregnancy unless he had to. As scared and uncertain he was of his own future and his future with Viktor he didn't want to not have this child.