A/N: You get two chapters at once, since that's as far as I've gotten. I'm not the quickest update (if you follow my Bechloe fics, you know this is painfully true), but I do hope to write as often as I can. This chapter deals briefly with Lena's reaction to the incident, and then leads into a flashback of the morning after the Medusa incident (before Kara leaves to Earth-1 with Barry); essentially the catalyst for their relationship, which will continue to be filled in along the way. Once again, I hope you like it!
Kara is dead.
The realization doesn't hit Lena so much as it rolls over her, slow and painful, like the trudging of an old war tank; ten thousand pounds of sorrow and despair weighing down on her, crushing her into something small and insignificant. The grief comes in short but frequent waves, threatening to drown her whole as her legs buckle and Lena falls, knees sinking to the floor as the very earth seems to shift beneath her feet.
Her hand searches blindly, looking for her table or a chair - something to clasp onto and support her. But she finds nothing, collapsing onto the carpet in a crumpled heap, watery eyes still fixated on the image of Supergirl's lifeless body, limp and unmoving as Superman roars his anguish to the world. No one dares move, giving the fallen hero and her grieving cousin a wide berth as they all watch on, stunned into silence and paralyzed with disbelief.
She doesn't know she's crying until a tear stricken Jess appears at her door, a knowing look in her eye as she staggers forward, gently kneeling beside the CEO and whispering a broken apology. A delicate hand clamps itself over shaking lips, stifling a sob as Lena first attempts to hide her pain, only to be broken down entirely as her walls fall and her defenses crumble, washed away by the tide of unrelenting tears.
Lena is the picture of grief, loss, and devastation; her face that of one who had already suffered too much, and who was not sure if she could do it again. In the end, it's simply too much for her to handle, this hand that Fate has dealt her; she feels gravity pulling her down - down, down, down… - her vision blurs, the world goes dark, and soon she knows no more.
Oblivion.
"Kara, to what do I owe this pleasure?"
The words are automatic; robotic and instinctive, yet somehow, still genuine. Lena seems to function on autopilot, and yet she still finds a way to show sincere affection in the face of her favorite reporter and only friend. Barely twelve hours have come and gone since the arrest of her mother, and she's been up since dawn - after a mere four hours of fitful sleep - attempting to make some sense of the mess that her life had become.
"I'm sorry to barge in like this unannounced," she begins, an apologetic grin settling across her features. "It seems that it's becoming a bad habit of mine."
"And one I'm not particularly inclined to break you of," Lena assures, lips curling with a smile. "As I've said before, and as I'll continue to say again, you are always welcome at my door."
Kara beams, the grin on her face breaking out into a mega watt smile as she laughs shyly, touching her glasses in what Lena is sure to be her signature quirk. Dropping her hand, the blonde fidgets anxiously with the hem of her shirt, clutching the light blue fabric in a nervous manner as she tilts her head towards the couch and asks, "Can we sit?"
"Yes, please," Lena replies, gesturing to the piece of furniture that she had affectionately sanctioned as their spot. "Is everything alright? You seem on edge."
"I should be the one asking you that," says Kara, letting the CEO settle into the plush cushions before taking her own seat, back rigid and posture uneasy. "After everything that happened last night…"
"So you've heard," Lena interjects, a mirthless chuckle escaping her lips. "Of course, I'm not surprised. It's the talk of the town, and there's no doubt that CatCo wants to be dead center in the heat of gossip. Are you looking for a quote? I have some time for an interview before my next meeting."
"No," Kara insists, shaking her head. "No, no, no. I'm not here for work. I'm here for you, as your friend. In fact, I came here because there's something I need to tell you… o-or, several things, actually… but I came for you, and you alone."
Lena shifts curiously, turning so she's almost sitting horizontally on the couch, facing Kara with nothing but her full attention. "I can assure you that no matter what it is that you have to say, you can trust me," she says, reaching forward to place a reassuring hand atop her knee.
"I know," Kara affirms, laying her hand on Lena's and giving it a squeeze. "I know that I can trust you, and I do. And what I'm about to tell you… i-it's game changing, I suppose. And it's not that I didn't trust you before, because you have done nothing but prove yourself to be worthy of it. It's… it's just that, um…"
She pauses to find her words, licking her suddenly too chapped lips as she struggles to form something even remotely coherent. Lena, thankfully, remains patient, encouraging her with a gentle smile and another squeeze of the hand.
"Okay, let me… let me start over," she says, exhaling loudly. "Lena, I'm not who you think I am. Or, at least, who I am and who you've come to know aren't entirely the same person. That's not to say that who I am when I'm with you is fake or made up… just that I have another side of me that I've not shown you yet. A side of me that often changes how people perceive me…
"See, the thing is, ever since I was young, I've been told to keep this part of me hidden, a secret never to be shared and a promise not to be broken. I've only ever broken it a small handful of times, and I'm breaking it again for you - because I care about you, and because you deserve to know the real me."
She takes a steadying breath, ready to reveal the truth. "Lena, I'm-..."
"I know."
"-suuu… wait, what? What?" she asks, bewilderedly. "You… y-you already know?"
Lena laughs, rolling her eyes in playful exasperation as she replies, "It really isn't that hard to figure out. And honestly, it doesn't change how I see you at all, and it never will. I realize why you felt the need to hide this. Some people aren't so understanding of those they deem different, but I appreciate you coming out to me like this. Frankly, I'm honored you hold our friendship in high enough regard to sit down with me and have a proper conversation about it."
"I, uh… well, yes. Of course, I value your friendship and… um…" Kara scratches her neck nervously. "You're… taking this surprisingly well…"
Emerald green meets ocean blue, Lena's eyes transfixed on Kara's as she takes her hand and clasps them between her own, leaning into the blonde as she states firmly, "No matter what anyone tells you, it is okay to be gay."
Her jaw drops, mind screeching to a halt. 'What!?' is the only thought her brain can properly form.
(Lena seems pleased; Kara thinks she might cry.)
Yanking her arm back, the Kryptonian buries her face between her hands and groans. "Rao! Not this again!"
Lena is taken aback, perplexed and confused by the unexpected outburst. "I'm… I'm sorry," she apologizes, though not entirely sure what for.
"Why is that everyone's first assumption?" Kara cries, flopping backwards in dramatic flair. "I'm not gay! I'm Supergirl, okay? Supergirl!"
This time it's Lena's jaw that drops, an impromptu impersonation of a fish out of water as she slowly puts two and two together. Kara can see the exact moment it hits her, dawning across her face in slow realization, eyes widening as they're finally opened to the truth. Tentatively, she reaches for the collar of Kara's shirt, eyes flickering upwards in search of permission. The blonde gives a curt nod, and slowly - as though delaying what she already knows to be true - Lena's fingers pluck at the buttons, carefully undoing each one by one.
"Oh god. It's really you," she breathes, as the first hint of blue and red appear. "You're really her," she gasps, as the familiar crest presents itself soon after, a proud symbol of the House of El.
"I am," she murmurs, watching intently as Lena delicately traces the outline of her family's emblem, trailing along the curve of the 'S' before coming to a stop directly above her heart. Though she doesn't speak, there is comfort in her silence, and Kara allows Lena all the time she needs to process this revelation.
"How did I not see it?" she asks, more to herself than Kara.
"I wanted to tell you sooner," the blonde insists, placing her hand above Lena's and holding it to her chest. "I wanted to tell you almost as soon as I met you, which is ridiculous now that I actually think about it, but… but somehow I just knew that one day you would be someone important to me…"
"And am I?" asks Lena, glancing upwards. "Important to you…?"
"Very," says Kara, and though it's but one word, it carries with it the implications of a thousand more.
Lena is quick to avert her gaze, head turning to the side, but the sudden flush of her cheeks is more than enough to give her thoughts away. Kara's mouth twitches upwards and an unexpected rush of warmth rushes through her at the sight; there's just something about the way she smiles that sends Lena's heart fluttering with joy and relief, like the aching of weary bones that have finally found their home.
She moves to say something in return when their conversation is abruptly interrupted, halted by the harsh buzzing of her intercom. "I'm sorry to disturb you, Miss Luthor," comes Jess's voice, "but you have legal waiting for you on line three."
"I'm… I'm sorry," says Lena, retracting her hand as she makes her way back to the desk. "I'll just be one moment."
"No, it's okay," Kara assures, as she too stands. "I don't want to take up anymore of your time. I understand that this is a very busy morning for you, and I don't want to get in the way of that. I didn't realize I'd been here so long, but I-I'm leaving town and I just wanted to… um, to y'know… I wanted to say goodbye…"
Lena, who's in the middle of telling Jess to put them on hold, immediately withdraws her statement and orders for them to call back at a later time. "I don't understand," she says, setting down the receiver. An anxious knot forms in her gut, coiling with dread as her mind jumps from one conclusion to the next. "What do you mean goodbye...?"
"I probably should have better thought this through before I came here," Kara laughs, though she sounds anything but amused. "I know that it's a lot to pile onto you all at once - especially with everything you have going on right now - but something came up with a friend and I need to leave town for awhile, and I'm not sure how long I'll be gone or when I'll get back. It's all very last minute, but I didn't want to go without first telling you who I am - who I really am - and without thanking you for everything you did to help bring down your mother.
"Last night, you were a true hero, and what you did took a special type of courage - something even I would struggle to find within myself to do. You and Lillian may have had your differences, but she is still the woman that raised you, and I can only imagine how difficult it must have been to go against her in such a way. The entire alien population of National City is indebted to you, as am I. You not only corrected the wrongdoings of your mother, but of my own father as well."
"Your father?" Lena asks, brows cinched with confusion. It was hard for her to imagine that anyone related to Kara - Supergirl, of all people - could be anything but pure and good.
Kara nods solemnly. "My father, Zor-El, was the original creator of the Medusa virus," she explains, "and had formulated it in a joint effort with Krypton's military to keep our planet safe from outside invaders. He had nothing but the best intentions of our people in mind, but something so powerful and so potent should have never been made in the first place. It was not his place to play god like that, and though it was only ever meant to be used as a last resort, you saw exactly what that kind of power can do if put in the wrong hands."
"The wrong hands being that of my mother's," Lena adds, ruefully.
"Just one example of many," Kara asserts, taking a step towards her. "But you are not your mother, and I am not my father, and we can both learn from their mistakes so that something like this never has to happen again."
Lena cracks a grin. "I said it before, and I'll say it again… a Super and a Luthor, who would have ever thought?"
"You know… it doesn't have to be that way," the blonde suggests, smiling shyly. "We don't have to be a 'Super and a Luthor'. We can just be ourselves, Kara and Lena, working together to make the world a better place. We aren't simply byproducts of our family name; we're our own, individual people, walking our own paths in life. And I choose, if you'd allow me to, to walk with you as a friend and ally… and… as whatever else the road may choose to make of us anywhere down the line."
Lena's breath catches, a quiet hitch in her throat that is soon released in a breathy sigh. "I'd like nothing more," she murmurs, and Kara's expression turns soft, almost tender.
In two long strides, she crosses the distance between them, sweeping the younger woman into a tight embrace. The hug itself is a simple gesture - affectionate, hinted perhaps with the tentative beginnings of something more - and the arms that hold her are gentle, but firm with hidden power. Lena has been hugged before, but never like this; she feels her body sag for the first time in what feels like years, as though it instinctively knows that Kara will never let her fall. And she doesn't. Kara's arms engulf her, holding her up - embracing her with all the respect of an equal; and yet they cradle her, as though she is someone to be cherished.
Lena returns the hug with matching fervor, allowing herself this brief indulgence, reveling in the strength and warmth that seems to radiate off of Kara in waves. She's surprised at how right it all feels, and thinks she might stay like this forever if given the chance; unfortunately, as all good things are wont to do, it comes to an end when Kara's phone vibrates, alerting her to an incoming call.
"Sorry!" she breathes, pulling away to silence the device. "That must be my friend, wondering where I'm at. I said I'd only be a short while, and we're sort of on a time constraint…"
"No, I understand," says Lena, straightening out her skirt. "Please, don't let me take any more of your time."
Kara hurries to button her shirt, smoothing out the creases so it's less obvious she's wearing something underneath. "I don't know when I'll be back," she begins, chin dropping as she shuffles her feet, "but… um, maybe we can pick this conversation back up when I do?"
Lena nods, offering a smile Kara knows is strictly reserved for her, and takes the Kryptonian's hand, quelling whatever worries or reservations she may have had about the future of their friendship. Tugging her close for a parting hug, she speaks into her ear with gentle resolution, "We can start exactly where we left off."
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