Sorry for the long waiting. I will try to update sooner the next time.

I would like to thanks my beta TrueYouth who without her you couldn't read my story.

Disclaimer: I don't own Vampire Academy, even I want to.

I woke up in a light, white room at the hospital - again. I wasn't surprised or frightened to wake up in a place like that, besides I had gotten used to it. I had been injured so many times by now in some kind of weird accident, it had almost become like a daily routine. But this time I didn't remember to have injured at all and neither was I hurting somewhere …

"Oh my god." I whispered. Everything was clean now. Dimitri saying that he didn't love me. Me screaming at Lissa. Me breaking down from the power of the darkness. Someone running towards me, screaming something. Oh my god, I had to leave from here. Now.

I didn't want to see anyone. I couldn't see anyone, I corrected myself. Everyone would be looking at me like I was crazy and the worst part was that maybe I was.

Lissa of course, would always be there for me, she would always be. But I would only cause her more problems. She would never gain the proper respect she deserved from the other royal families because of her insane guardian and they would never let her to participate in the council because she would always fight with them to save my sorry ass. And the worst of all was that, she would never be able to have a normal life with Christian because she would be an outsider. And all this because of me. That's why I had leave. I would go somewhere where no one could ever find me .

And as for Dimitri… I swear that in any other situation I would have tried to continue and move on with my life and have a friendly - as friendly as it could get - relationship with him. But now I couldn't, I didn't have the strength to be near him and pretend that I didn't love him. Because I did. I loved him with my whole heart. So I would leave, to let him have a normal, happy life without feeling any guilt for not loving me back and be the reason that I turned crazy. Because really, it wasn't his fault - it was just my own.

That's why I decided to write a letter to Lissa explaining to her what I was going to do from now on, at least most of the basics. I would do it so that she would not have to worry and start looking for me. She would respect my choice to leave from everyone and everything. From him.

Also in advantage, she would cover my escaping plan and she would help me not to get caught by the other guardians. This she would do by distracting them with fake information. Only she would know where I would be. No one else.

And now, when I had finished the letter it was time to find a way to get out of here without anyone noticing me, either from the inside nor from the outside.

And thát was when I noticed it for the first time. It wasn't morning, it was night, morning for 's why no one had visited me yet to see if I was okay - because they were sleeping and that meant that there weren't other people in the Court awake - except for some guardians, of course. Great. Now it was easier for me to escape without being spotted than it would've been if it was morning.

But that also meant that I was unconscious for more than a few hours. It could've been days even. A white paper on the wall proved me that I was right. I was unconscious for five days. five whole daysFor . Oh my goodness. Everybody would be so worried about me. Would he also be worried or would he just…?

No, Rose, don't think about those things, you just need to escape, I chastised myself. And that was when the ultimate idea came to me. The window in the bathroom. How did I forget the window? I went quickly to the bathroom and opened the window. Thank god it was unlocked. I had the lucky in my side - this far. Maybe now I would start to believe in God. Or… maybe not.

The window was very high from the ground and a normal person wouldn't attempt to jump from this high. But I wasn't a normal person. I was a crazy person with serious psychological problems, like Christian would've said.

I laughed bitterly at the thought that,one day, I might go crazy, like Ms Karp; from the power of spirit. And maybe, I had already started to go crazy. That was why I was trying to escape from one of the safest places in the world. The Court. Anyway, what was done was done. Lissa would be okay at least. They come first.

I checked the site for any guardians. Great! There weren't any. Where was the high safety that we - supposedly - had? No, that I would complain about - if I ever got the chance that'll say. That there weren't any guardians out here right now was very convenient for me, but what if I was a Strigoi or if somehow Strigoi would've gotten in? Anyway, I should trust them, besides, up until now everything was fine.

I closed my eyes and I jumped. Thankfully, I landed on my two legs. All that hard training wasn't for nothing, after all. With all my strength I ran direct to my room's window, careful not to bump into someone. I climbed along the wall, up to my room and I opened the window. I was used to leave the window open for this kind of situations. You never knew what would happen in the future.

And what I saw when I got into my room was indescribable. My room was a mess. Well, it was never very tidy but this time the whole thing was out of control. The bed was covered by thousands objects. The same as the floor. Clothes, books - the few ones I had -, photos and a lot of other small things lying on them. The closets and the wardrobes were wide open and they were also in a mess.

Someone had been here because I didn't remember leaving my room like this. And I knew very well who might have been. Lissa. She must have wanted to find something of mine. That way she would feel that I was with her, like I had always been throughout her whole life. She used to do this kind of thing when someone she loved was in danger, or this person was gone. One example was when her parents had died. But I wasn't going to die, just leave. Wasn't that better?

I walked over to the wardrobe and got two big hand-bags and then I filled them with clothes, money, credit cards and my most important personal objects. I quickly changed clothes and I wore a blond, short wig from last Halloween. The wig reached me to my shoulders. To expand my "costume" I wore a pair of black sunglasses to not get recognized by the other guardians, just in case I accidentally ran into someone. I let the letter I had wrote to Lissa slip inside the latest book that she'd given to me. This to make sure that she and only she would found it. And now I was ready to leave. But I still had the feeling that I had forgotten something very important behind. Unfortunately I didn't have the time to find what was it.

Though the fate had other plans because as I was heading to the window I saw what I had forgotten. The most important things for me in the world. The photos I had of Lissa and Dimitri. It was just two photos but to me, they were everything. Especially now I needed them.

The first one was of me and Lissa after the graduation. It was the latest photo we had taken. In this picture Lissa and I were hugging and laughing uncontrollably. It wasn't a very good time then for then because of what had happened a couple weeks ago in Siberia. But that night I had a good time. I had almost had a very good time even. Because the pain from losing him could never and would never go away. It would stick around forever.

The second one was only with Dimitri. It was the only picture I had from him. He didn't like photos at all. I had tried unsuccessfully many times to take him a picture but he constantly refused it. It needed a very-well organized plan to get him this photo. I remembered it like it was yesterday.

…..FLASHBACK…

Today I had woken up very early. I wanted to go in my lesson with Dimitri at time for the first time. And believe me; there was a good reason. I wouldn't lose my precious sleep for nothing.

Yesterday, at our evening session with Dimitri, I had tried to take a picture of him but he didn't let me. He refused every single time I asked him, even when I knelt and started begging him. Really, how cruel that man could be.

Anyway, I wouldn't give it up so easily. Besides, I am Rose Hathaway and I wouldn't let him to believe that he could win so effortlessly. Not without a fight. That's why I decided not to leave from the gym this morning without his photo.

Oh my god. It was seven o'clock. How did I manage to get late to my session with Dimitri every damn time. I got my bag and I started running toward the gym. When I arrived outside, I took a deep breath and I got inside with a satanic look in my face, knowing that the camera was in my pocket.

Dimitri, as usual, was already there and he was reading a western novel. If he only knew what was waiting him, I thought a little evilly.

''Hello Comrade, how are you doing today?'' I said as innocent as I could manage. But something must have given me away because when he left his book to greet me his expression changed. From calm to confused and then to amused.

"Oh Rose, I know that look. What are you preparing, today ha?" he said laughing, obviously amused and a little curious.

"What are you saying Dimitri?" I looked him supposedly hurt "That I am preparing something bad? Me? How can you say that!" I said angrily.

"No, no, of course not Roza." He said laughing. "Not something bad, just a little…" he pretended that he was thinking "…satanic"

"Mmm, how cute Dimitri." I said sarcastically. "And for the record, I am innocent you know, except if you count the fact that I put a cockroach into Christian's bag. But that isn't your business, so…."

"I'm sorry Rose but that things don't get on me. So spit everything out. Now." He said now more serious.

"That Dimitri, really hurt my feelings!" I said while I was pretending that I was sweeping a tear from my eye "And I really would love to tell you but I have nothing to tell you." I said dramatically.

"Ah Rose." He said as he stood up from his chair and walked across the room. This was the ideal moment. "Come on, give me your bag. If you don't have nothing to hide of course." He said mockingly.

And I instead, took out the camera from my pocket and I quickly snapped a photo of him. I didn't wait to see his reaction. I started running to get as far as I could from him to hide my precious camera. I had almost gotten out from the gym and I had touched the precious black door when he caught me. I tried to escape from him but he was holding me very tight.

"Let me go!" I screamed. But he only held me tighter. I bited his hands and kicked him but he didn't back off. It was as if he didn't feel anything at all. "Let me go!" I screamed again.

"Calm down Rosa." he murmured in my ear. "I will let you go, just give me your camera." he whispered in my ear making me shiver.

"No, I won't." I said gently. "I had to go through some seriously big trouble to get that photo." I said with all the strength I had, if you take in mind that I was in Dimitri's arms. His body pressed against my own.

Then he turned me around to face him and pinned me against the wall. I shivered. Again. My lips were only inches away from his. I knew that I shouldn't have these thoughts, but I couldn't help it. He was so damn sexy.

"Roza, why do you want that photo so much?" He whispered in my ear as he was stroking my hair automatically.

"Because…" I said trembling as tears were running from my eyes. "It's the only way I can always have you with me. And you know exactly what I mean by that." I said, surprising even myself. I hadn't realized that I wanted that picture so badly. Then he raised my chin, so I could face him and swept a tear from my eye.

"Roza" he said looking straight into my eyes and unexpectedly, he kissed me.

His mouth came down on mine. And that was all the self-control I had exerted over the past months went like water crashing through a broken dam. In the beginning the kiss was gentle and sweet but then it became more angry and passionate.

When it was absolutely necessary to stop so that we could both catch our breath, he pulled away and kissed my forehead.

"Roza, I will always love you." He said gently and went toward his chair where he had his bag. But not before I told him something that I shouldn't have told him and that I would probably regret later.

"I love you too, Dimitri. I will always love you." I whispered stroking his hair.

When he reached his chair, he got took something out from his bag - something small. I couldn't see from where I stood, what exactly it was but then he approached me and showed me a picture of him.

"What's that?" I asked gently, trying to retrieve my control again. He has a big smile on his face but his eyes were sad.

"Rose that's a picture of me, a good picture of me." He grinned. "So I will always be with you ok? And in addition, now you can get rid of that awful photo you took of me where I am like I am seeing a ghost and save the humanity from that horror, ok?"

"Yes, Dimitri." I said laughing and I took the picture from him while he was deleting the photo I took him from my camera. When he finished he kissed me on the cheek and started leaving from the gym.

"And Dimitri," I called after him and he turned around so he could see me."The picture wasn't so bad you know. Although it could be a very good exhibit for the museum of terror in Pennsylvania."I said laughing.

"Good morning Rose." he said grinning and left from the room.

…FLASHBACK…

From the memory of that incident, my face was covered with tears and my eyes were swollen and red. I couldn't understand how something so pure and authentic, our love, could have ended. Because it couldn't, it didn't make sense. It was so strong, so sweet that we have. "It didn't deserve that end, it didn't'' I murmured and I kicked the wall. But fortunately I stopped in that kick.

I swept my eyes, and I took a deep breath. It was time for me to accept that fact and move on. Because he would. But that didn't mean necessarily, that I would forget him, that I would stop loving him. Because I couldn't. Not now, not ever.

Then I kissed his photo and I put them carefully in my bag , knowing that from now on that would be the only way I could see him, touch him and kiss him. And with that thought I jumped from the window, wishing that, everything was just a dream.

But unfortunately it wasn't. It was my life.

So do you like it until now? I promise that after chapter 4 it will be more interesting. I would love to hear your opinions about what will happen next.

Don't forget to review because it is the way to know that you still like my story so I will continue writing it.

Xoxo,

edwartforever