Anger

*Crash*

It felt good to throw stuff, to make it break and crumble into a million little pieces and falling aimlessly to the ground with soft and loud thuds here and there. It reminded him of his life and how everything that it once had been was not any more and that it was rapidly falling apart. He felt as though he could see it, the walls of his life just plummeting to the ground, never to be fixed again. It hurt, but the hurt quickly turned to anger when he saw and picture of her.

She lied to us.

All of us.

And now she's gone and never coming back.

Jason picked up another object and threw it at the wall.

*Crash*

Jason continued to rip up everything that he could find that reminded him of her that had so many memories. He didn't care that he would probably have to burn the whole apartment down, he would do just that if it ment that he would get rid of her and be free of it all, all the pain and anger. He wanted to feel nothing, feel that numbness he once had, but all he felt was anger. An uncontroled need to break stuff and watch it fall apart, just like himself.

Taking a deep breath he tried to calm his nerves but it didn't work. He picked up the closest thing to him and threw it at the wall with all the strength that he could muster, not seeing that he had almost taken off Spinelli's head with the vase.

"Stone cold!" Spinelli shouted, trying to get his friend to notice him.

It didn't work. Jason turned around and was about o rip up all the couch cushions but Spinelli got there first.

"Jason! You need to stop." This time he got his attention.

"Spinelli? When did you get home?" Jason asked, breathing heavily.

"I've been up stairs, hiding, form the terror that you had just rained upon our home." Spinelli looked around as did Jason and noticed that almost the entire room was turned upside down and was torn to bits. He gulped and looked at Jason. "Why?"

Jason blinked, feeling mixed emotions. How could he explain how alone he felt? How much he wanted to hate her? How he wanted to pretend that she was never there, never in his life? It was hard to form words.

He was alone.

Abandoned.

Deserted.

"She didn't even tell me! She just went on as if there was nothing wrong with her. What the hell? I mean, she could have told me, I wouldn't have been upset or anything, I would have been there for her." Jason stops to pick up a bowl off the table and threw it at the wall. It shattered, pieces of glass flying everywhere. Spinelli cringed away from the specks coming at him and walked closer to the kitchen. "She should have told me!"

With that Jason went right back to throwing things. He didn't know how long this went on for but when he was done he noticed the Spinelli didn't try to stop him or yell at him for making worse of the mess he made. Instead he found that he had left him here to face his anger and 'rein terror' on the apartment all he wanted.

He had to get out of here. He had to get away now before he destroyed the pent house to beyond repair. Walking to the door he grabbed his leather jacket off the chair and went to the elevator, knowing that the stairs might be to dangerous for him right now.

When the elevator came he got on, rode it down in silence thing of nothing. Making sure that the entire time he didn't think about her laugh. Or the smiles that they shared the kisses that had been exchanged in this very elevator over what seemed so long ago. Anger began to rise again and once the doors opened he bound out of them, ran out side the building and jumped into his car that faintly smelled like her.

He needed to get away.

He needed release.

Some place where he could let loose.

With that he drove to Jake's. He knew that Spinelli was following him, making sure that he didn't do anything stupid. Jason almost laughed.

When he got to the bar he didn't remember the drive he just remembered focusing on anything that wouldn't remind him of her. He got out of the car and hear Spinelli behind him.

"Stone Cold, this is a very bad idea! You should be doing this!"

Jason looked at him for a second and then snapped, "What do you want me to do? Go back to the apartment, to the place where all I see is her? Go to sleep tonight in the bed we once shared and not dream about her? Yeah I don't think so." With that Jason turned and walked into the bar, sealing his doom.

"What can I get for you tonight, man?" Colman asked from behind the bar.

Jason didn't look at Spinelli, he just sat down looked at the owner of the bar and said in a voice that was never questioned, "Whisky, strongest you've got."

With a nod of his head he began making Jason him drink. Once placed in front of him he picked it up and downed it, making a face as the warm liquid burned his throat, numbing it a little bit.

Looking up he saw Colman giving him a weird look but shrugged it off, "Keep 'em coming."

Not a good idea.

Very bad idea.

He shouldn't be doing this.

But he did, he threw one shot back then another, and another until Spinelli and … Johnny? ... Were both carrying him out of the bar, trying to get him into the car. After that everything went blank. And he was numb again; not feeling anything, he was peaceful.

I was having a really hard time with this chapter. I have no idea how Jason would have reacted and I hope I didn't completely blow this chapter to hell.

Review, because you want to tell me what you thought of this chapter? Yay, nay?