Author's Note: Next installment! I'm hoping that you are all enjoying it! Review if you would like!
In his defense, the tears could be a result of either outcome, so he doesn't show any kind of reaction initially. When I push the test into his hands, I can't even describe what I see fall over his face. I imagine it has some semblance to the look I had, but seeing it changes everything.
A small grin forms on his face and I can see the tears well up a bit in the corners of his eyes. He places the test next to where he was sitting on the bed and stands up in front of me, not trying to hide what I see reflected in his eyes.
"I love you, Mac." He says after looking into my eyes for a beat or two, and then pulls me to him for another of the sweetest, most loving kisses I've ever experienced.
"Are we happy?"
"I know that I'm happy, are you?"
"I've just been given something I thought was going to be taken away from me forever… I don't think I could be happier." I say honestly.
"What's next?" he asks, pulling me to sit down on the bed next to him.
"I think that the next step is calling my doctor. I know that the test says positive, but with my endometriosis and the fact that I haven't been seen yet worries me. I just want to make sure that everything is okay."
"Why don't you see if you can get in tomorrow?"
"I was thinking about taking the day anyway, so I could probably get in tomorrow afternoon if I call first thing in the morning."
"Oh." He says, causing me to turn to him and see a look of rejection cross his face.
"What is it?"
"I was just hoping to come with you. I know that for most of the appointment, I probably couldn't be in there, but I want to be there for you. I'm not letting you go through any of this alone, Mac."
"Then I'll see if I can make it for the early evening."
"Okay, that sounds good. Now let's get you fed and back to sleep." He says, standing up and making his way to the kitchen with me not too far behind.
I admit that I'm a bit sad when he leaves, but I'm glad for the time to think about everything. I never thought that I would put myself in this position, especially after my wild days are behind me. A Marine officer and pregnant out of wedlock… with a fellow officer under the same command. I know that I've gotten to the point where I don't care about what people think of me, but this might be one of those times that I do. And are we going to tell people that it's Harm's baby too? What is that going to do for him?
That was how I fell asleep last night, thinking about everything under the sun regarding this baby and Harm and I. Waking up wasn't such a pleasant experience either. Harm made it a little easier.
I felt his presence before I felt the hand start stroking my back as I lost last night's dinner. When I am able to stand up and turn around, he hands me a wet rag and starts to fill up the water glass I leave by the sink.
"You left." I say simply with a questioning glance.
"I did, but then I remember how bad you said you felt in the mornings. I figured that the baby didn't like mornings, so I would make sure that you would survive them."
"You didn't have to do this."
"I know, but I did anyways… are you upset that I did?"
"No, just surprised."
"When I got home last night I was looking up all this stuff about morning sickness and I got some stuff on the way over here for you to try."
"Have you slept at all?" I say with a grin.
"I relaxed on the couch for a while before I heard you get up."
"Harm… sleep." I say pulling him into the bedroom and pulling back the covers on the other side of the bed.
He gets in and I make my way back to the bathroom to brush my teeth.
"Mac?"
"I'm brushing my teeth. I'll be right back."
When I get back to the bed he is curled up on his side facing my side of the bed. As soon as I get in, his arms scoop around me and he puts a hand to my stomach.
"Are you feeling better?"
"Yeah, and thank you for being here."
"I love you, Sarah… you do know that, right?"
"I do, and you know that I love you too?"
"Every now and then I think it is nice to hear the words, don't you?"
"I don't know… I've never heard them from someone I wanted to hear it from."
"Good to know."
I wasn't ready to go back to work yet. I think that today was more of a mental health day rather than a sick day per se. The doctor's appointment had me scared more than I would like to be. My main concern was the fact that I didn't have any clue that I was pregnant for the last two months. What damage could I have done? Harm always points out that I don't eat the best, and I've been running around on cases just about anywhere they would send me. I do exercise on a regular basis, but am I doing too much?
All of these questions are running through my head when Harm comes to get me. He thought that I should get picked up in case they ran blood work or did anything else that might make me unsteady on my feet. I laughed at that, but was happy on the inside that he was so concerned.
"Colonel MacKenzie, are you ready to come back?"
"I am, but can my…" crap, what do I call Harm? My baby's father? My complicated lover? "…friend come back with me?"
"He sure can. I'll let the doctor know you're here."
I can tell that this is probably the most awkward place that Harm has ever been in, given the fact that he is a little white in a room full of female reproductive pictures, fetus diagrams, and a table with stirrups.
"It's not my favorite place to come either, but you'll be a pro by the time this kid is born." I say, smiling at him and patting him on the back.
He's about to respond when the knock on the door signals the doctor's arrival. She's dragging a machine behind her and has a concerned look on her face as she walks in.
"Colonel, I was surprised to be seeing you so soon until I read the reason for the appointment… which then made me even more surprised."
"You and me both."
"What leads you to believe that you're pregnant?"
"Other than the tiredness, the morning sickness, and the weight gain… the positive pregnancy test was a good indicator."
"So you did already take a home test?" She says after her eyebrows raised at my list of "symptoms."
"I wouldn't be here if I hadn't."
"Okay, then I'm going to have to give you an exam and I want to look in there and see what is going on."
"You sound like you aren't convinced." Harm says from off to the side and I turn to him with a look.
"Colonel, with help, you still had a very small chance of conceiving, so the fact that you might have actually done that without help is hard to fathom."
"So you think this is what? You think it's a hysterical pregnancy?"
"I will admit that there are plenty of cases where women that have been told they couldn't conceive come back thinking that they are pregnant."
"Doctor, I wasn't trying to get pregnant. In fact I wasn't doing anything that would result in getting pregnant until one night three months ago, after which I haven't been doing anything. I wasn't even the one who thought I was pregnant, it was him." I say gesturing to Harm and letting myself get more upset than I intended to.
"Which is why I want to do an exam and do an ultrasound. I want to make sure that everything is as it should be." She says, putting a reassuring hand on my knee before continuing, "why don't you get a gown on and you and I can do that first part while he steps outside. Then he can come back in and we'll take a look around."
I nod and Harm stands up to leave after giving me a kiss on the cheek. Now I'm just upset about everything. We had talked a lot of this through last night and I had the time to wrap my head around it, and she's saying that it might not actually be true?
When she comes back in for the exam I think I feel more sick than I did this morning, which has me hoping that I don't throw up all over the table.
"You feeling okay, Colonel?" she asks, and I can feel that my face has gone a bit green.
"Just a little queasy. I thought that I was through with that this morning, but I think the nerves are getting to me."
"Understandable." She says, making a quick work out of the internal exam and then asking me about Harm before inviting him in.
"He's the baby's father, and he's my best friend."
"Not more than that?" she looks up with a smirk.
"Not right now."
"Well, let's bring him in so we can do the ultrasound."
When he walks in, he stands right by my side and takes my hand in his. A gesture that the doctor smirks at and has me thinking about what Harm and I are to each other.
She smears the gel on my stomach and I'm trying to make sense of what I see on the screen before she can explain anything.
"You won't be able to see much of anything, but let's see if I can find what we are looking for." She says, pausing to move the wand around a bit before she breaks the silence, "I'll be damned… do you see that?" she asks and points to the monitor in front of us.
We both nod and she moves the wand around again, "That is your son or daughter. And that little jumpy thing in the middle is the heartbeat."
"I'm really pregnant?" I ask, shocked more than I thought I would be, considering I already thought that I was.
"Now it's real, you two. Are you ready?"
I look up at Harm and he seems to be absolutely beaming, which I smile at. Then he brushes his thumb along my cheek and wipes a few stray tears that I didn't know I had shed before looking back up at the screen.
"I'm going to print a couple of these off for you, and then write you a prescription for some vitamins and send you on your way with some other information."
She does just that, and it seems like all the sudden, Harm and I really are parents.
"How are you feeling about all this?"
"It's actually happening." I say in response to his question once we get in the car.
"Thank you, Sarah."
"For?"
"For this baby, for your friendship, for just… you."
"This baby is already turning you into a big sap."
"It is not."
"It is, but I love it anyway."
"So what do you want for dinner?"
"We're going for dinner?"
"I thought that you would be hungry, so I just assumed that you would want to go."
"And after that?" I ask, thinking about last night and him coming back to the apartment after he had left.
"If you don't want me to come back, I won't. I just don't want you to feel like you're alone in any part of this, Mac. You deserve better than that."
"Stay tonight, and we'll talk about what that means." I say, wondering what we were going to hash out this evening.
As it turns out, this evening consisted of eating dinner and me falling asleep before Harm could even bring me my bowl of ice cream for dessert. When I woke up, I was in the bed and there was no Harm beside me. Instead he was on the couch, fast asleep, with the ultrasound picture out on the coffee table next to him.
"You're awake. Are you okay?" he sits up, noticing my presence.
"I'm fine, I just woke up like normal to an empty bed and when I came out here, I found you sleeping." I say, sitting down at his feet and leaning to pick up the picture from the table.
"It's pretty amazing. I just can't stop staring at it."
"You think it's amazing… try knowing that it's growing inside you!" I say with a laugh and a glance down at my stomach.
"Do you want something for breakfast?"
"Maybe just some toast? I'm feeling a little nauseous, but not too bad. I want to get something in my stomach before it does turn bad."
"Maybe it won't." he says standing up to make me my toast, and putting a little cinnamon sugar on it because he knows how much I love that.