OMG! I am SO sorry! I know I said Monday or Tuesday, but I actually was writing it then, but just kind of got stuck at one part. But now it's up and I'm possibly hoping you all will forgive me.
Ok, so I know like, WHOA! There's a LOT of crying in this one, but I don't you guys remember how much she cried in the movie? And No one even died on that so the crying has to be a lot more intense. So read and let me know what you think! I need some opinions! Thank you!!
Journal Entry.........May 8th
It's been four days. Four long HARD days. I can't help but think of him. He's always on my mind. It just wasn't fair. None of it seemed fair. This ISN'T fair! Shane didn't deserve to die. Why couldn't it have been me? I'd rather be dead than have him gone. This was all my fault. It's always my fault.
I wrote in my journal and fell back on my mattress. I felt my eyes start to well up with warm tears. It just wasn't fair, it just wasn't. Shane was to young. He was only 18. A stupid California earthquake ruined my whole life. Shane'swhole life. He had so much to live for and now he was gone. I wanted to go back in time, two minutes before this all happened and stop myself from walking into that theater with Shane. Stop him from walking into the theater.
All of the sudden, I heard a knock at my door. I ran downstairs and opened it, seeing Jason standing there on my porch. "Mitchie, I heard what happened. Are you ok?" Jason asked. I nodded slowly and felt tears forming in my eyes again. "Mitchie," Jason said, worried and pulled me into a hug. I wrapped my arms around him and cried into his shirt. My chin started to quiver and I bit my lip, trying to stop myself from screaming my lungs out. I buried my face into his chest and held him tighter.
"Why did this happen?" I asked through the tears. My eyes started to burn from all the crying. "I-I don't know." he said and rested his chin my my head. "I don't know."
XXX
We sat there, motionless on my couch. My head resting on Jason's shoulder, his arms wrapped around me, comforting me as if there was no tomorrow. Maybe that was all I needed. I could just die right here and now, Jason holding me in his arms, but no life would be coursing through my motionless body. No heart beat, no crying, nothing.
Jason moved slightly and I was taken out of my thoughts. We sat there in silence. I felt the need to touch someone, to hold someone. I bit my lip and grabbed Jason's hand from his lap. He looked at me and kissed the top of my head. I finally felt safe and secure.
"Mitchie?" I looked up and saw sadness on Jason's face. "Yeah?" I managed to say through my sore, aching throat. Jason took his time to say what was on his mind. He slowly turned to look at me, took a deep breath and let it out. "I love you." My eyes widened. I was in shock. I didn't know what to say. Jason loved me? We aren't even dating, let alone a couple. My mouth hung opened as I tried to find something to say. "Jason, I... I don't know what to say... I'm... surspried." I closed my eyes and cleared my head, if that was even possible.
"Mitchie, I know what you're thinking... but I've always felt this way. Shane just, just got to you before I had the chance." A sharp pain hit me once that name left his lips. I bit my lip and held my chest. "Jason," I opened my eyes, knowing a waterfall would start at any moment. "I-I love you too... but... I can't, not right now. I'm sorry." My eyes started to blur and I saw Jason nod. I blinked to see him clear and saw his face in his hands.
I took another breath, placing my hand on his back. I could hear him breathing, feeling his heart beat through my hand. I wiped my eyes and sat there with Jason. Thinking and thinking.
"I have to go," Jason looked at me, his eyes full of concern and disappointment. I nodded and we both stood up. I walked over to the door with him. "Mitchie, I'm sor-" I pressed my finger to his lips. "Don't be." I pulled my finger away. "I'm the one who should be apologizing. But life is so crazy right now and I'm just... so lost. I just don't know what else to do except hide away from the world." Those damn tears were pouring out again. Jason noticed and pulled me into another hug. I wrapped my arms around him again, trying to find comfort. "Mitchie, I promise," he whispered in my ear. "If you ever need me, I'll be over in an instant." I bit my lip and nodded quickly.
He let me go and opened the door. "Bye." I tried to say, but it ended up sounding like I was crying while I was talking, and I was. "Bye." he smiled partly and walked out. He was gone. I closed my eyes and covered my face. I fell to the floor, crying and sobbing, hiccuping and sniffling.
"Mitchie?" I heard and turned around to see my Mom, Connie. "Oh, sweetie," she noticed my red eyes and trembling lip and ran over to me, kneeling down and holding me in her arms. She kissed my cheek, probably hoping it would make me stop crying, but it wasn't. "I miss him, Mom." I cried. "I miss Shane so much!" she nodded her head. "I know, sweetie, I know."