I knew I said it was a oneshot, but...

does not belong to me!

Kanda stormed angrily down the carpeted path towards the nearest washroom, running his hands through his previously long hair.

What's wrong with everyone?! It was just a haircut, for fuck's sake. And he didn't think it was all that bad.

At least he wouldn't get mistaken for an old man like the Moyashi.

Or look like his head was on fire like the idiot rabbit.

Or have squealing fangirls (and boys too, sometimes) following him in hopes of being bitten like Krory. (Why anyone even wanted to get bitten was a mystery to him, and he wasn't sure he ever wanted to know.)

Or look like some hyperactive hamster gnawed his head off like Linali. (Though he couldn't say that out loud or Komui would kill him.)

Or have pink, girly hair like Jerry. (His old hair wasn't girly, dammit. It was traditional!)

In fact, Kanda had one of the most normal hair in the entire Academy! He could have strolled down Orchard Road without a second glance from the locals, due to his Asian features and (now) relatively normal hair. Which was more than what those other freaks could say.

He totally didn't understand why everyone was so shocked. It was, after all, perfectly normal for a male to have short hair. He even went to some fancy-schmancy hairdresser, goddammit.

Besides, it was necessary to prevent him from getting heatstroke. Yes, it was that hot in Singapore.

Growling in frustration, Kanda shoved the door to the men's room open, striding inside to glare at his reflection in the mirror.

"Why, I didn't realize you were this… beauty conscious, my dear. I was more of the opinion that you were one of those fuck-off-I-don't-care kind of person…"

Kanda whipped his head, transferring his glare to the smug visage Tyki Mikk presented.

"Shut the fuck up!" He hissed furiously, right hand automatically reaching for Mugen—only to remember that the license for shipping the katana over was not yet approved, and the blade was still stuck in Singaporean police custody.

Tyki chucked at the stream of insults that nearly singed his ears off. "My, my, what colourful vocabulary you have. And bilingual too! They really should have awarded that scholarship to you."

Dodging the roll of toilet paper aimed directly at his face, Tyki smirked. Really, this kid was just too fun to tease. He seriously didn't understand why Rhode hated him so much.

"Oh, and by the way, try using Gatsby if you're looking to spice things up hair-wise. I especially recommend Moving Rubber[1]; it really helps prevent hair breakage."

Kanda froze in humiliation and anger. Was the bastard trying to imply that he had hair fall problems?! His mouth fell open as he fumed speechlessly, fists clenching around the edge of the sink.

"If that fails, I suggest you seek professional help at Beijing 101[2]. I have a friend who works there, just say my name, and he'll give you a discount."

Tyki turned around to admire his handiwork, mentally congratulating himself at the pretty picture Kanda presented, flushed crimson and vibrating with rage against the basin. Glancing at the expensive watch adorning his left wrist, he sighed regretfully and laid a manicured hand upon the exit door. He had to leave soon in order not to be late…

But not without one last jibe. Tossing his lustrous mane of curly chestnut hair back, he winked jauntily, pushing the door open. "Don't worry, I promise to be discreet!"

Kanda barely managed to restrain himself from tackling that son of a bitch, discreet, his bloody ass. Eye twitching, he splashed cold water on his face, hoping to calm himself down. Komui had given extensive lectures on now strict Singaporean violence laws were.

He didn't want to be stuck in rehab for anger management issues. Or get dragged to some weird workshop for "self-enrichment[3]". Or locked in jail for aggression charges.

Not to mention the fact that he would be banned from his sword. He totally didn't understand why they wouldn't let him bring it into the county with him in the first place. Linali said it was because of security concerns.

Why, did he look like a madman? Or a terrorist? Or a crazed serial killer? Noooo, he did not. Kanda rolled his eyes in disgust.

Che. Singapore was such a stick in the ass.

[1] Moving Rubber's just this weird hairgel thingy that everyone was crazy about a few years back. Gatsby owns it, not me.

[2] Beijing 101 is a... center for hair problems. Basically, you go there to treat your hair problems with herbal stuff.

[3] I shan't elaborate, but the Singapore Government is biiiiiigg on self enrichment. Which totally sucks, believe me.

Ohmygod. That was horrible DDD:

Shall try to have a nicer chapter next time though.

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