Author's note: Yay, another chapter! My co-writer, skellingtonlover, did a fab job on this one so I'd appreciate it if you guys said thank you to her in a review. :)

-° Big Spender Conspiracy °-
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It was on days like these that he cursed his urge to live like a regular human being instead of like the multi-millionaire that he was.

Hodgins lazily crawled out of bed at 6am when his alarm clock beeped off. Scratching his side and pulling his pyjama bottoms with bunny pattern straight, he padded over to the bathroom. He cursed profusely when all he got was ice cold water when he turned the shower on. Another string of curses followed when he found out he had forgotten his shampoo, which meant he had to splash across the entire room to get a new bottle from the shelve next to the mirror.

A lot of cursing and jumping under and away from the ice cold spray of water later, the entomologist checked himself in the mirror. Not bad, he thought as he pulled back his shoulders, flexed his muscles, and then turned sideways to take a look at his belly. Not bad at all. He quickly changed from his towel into his clothes. Next on the list was his hair.

His co-workers would die of laughter if they ever found out how much time he spent every morning taking care of his hair. Hodgins pulled out the hairdryer to carefully dry and brush his curls. Usually he applied a bit of gel to keep his curls in line but today he felt a bit more adventurous. He grabbed the bottle of hairspray he had purchased the other day and sprayed a reasonable amount onto his hair. It was cemented into place. Perfection. With his careful expertise, he would have done Marilyn Monroe proud. He preened a little more in the mirror, humming 'You Sexy Thing' under his breath before leaving for work.

---°---

"Hey Zack-o, where are Dr. Brennan and Dr. Soroyan?"

"Dr. Soroyan is in a meeting with the board and Dr. Brennan is at FBI Headquarters, interrogating a suspect together with Agent Booth," Zack eagerly replied.

Hodgins rubbed his hands in glee. "You know what that means, right?" At receiving a puzzled stare from his co-worker, he continued "Illegal experiments, here we come! Not had a chance to frazzle something in ages!"

Without further ado he dragged Zack with him to one of the separate examination rooms to begin an experiment that he could only perform with Brennan and Cam out of the way.

Twenty minutes later Angela Montenegro happened to walk past that same examination room, which was now filled with smoke. "Guys? Are you in there?" she hesitantly yelled into the large purple cloud steadily moving out of the room into the hallway.

About ten seconds later Zack and Hodgins emerged, both wearing masks to cover their mouths. Hodgins slammed the door shut behind him to prevent the smoke from invading the hallway even more. He'd clean up that mess later. First he had to check if his hair was still in place.

"Why must you two always play with your chemistry sets to produce nuclear explosions?" Angela asked in exasperation.

Angela's question and Zack coughing like there was a fishbone stuck in his throat prevented him from rushing away. The entomologist comradely slapped his co-worker on the back, mumbling something along the line of "You're not used to much, aren't you, Zack my man?"

The next thing that stopped him from running off to the bathroom to check his hair, was a loud shriek produced by Angela. He swivelled around to check if everything was all right but was met with Angela bend over double from laughing. Not sure what was going on exactly, he gave her a concerned look while patting her shoulder in a comforting way.

"Are you all right, Angela? Tell me you didn't inhale that smoke."

"It's not that…" the artist hiccupped. "It's… It's…" Because a new fit of laughter made it impossible for her to continue, she just pointed upwards, at his hair. "You've got a little something there."

Hodgins' eyes became as big as saucers. Not the hair. Not my hair. He hurried to the bathroom as fast as he could… and came to an abrupt stop when he laid eyes on his reflexion in the mirror.

Every curl was still in place. His hair was just fine.

Except for its new colour…

---°---

It had taken a lot of time, not to mention a lot of pushing and bribing, but he had finally gotten Angela and Zack out of his office. Satisfied that maybe now he could get some work done without constantly being interrupted by Angela's giggles and Zack's chuckles -boy genius could chuckle, who would've thought that?- because of what he was wearing on his head.

He carefully tucked a couple of loose purple curls back under Angela's elf hat that she had worn to the Christmas party last year. She had teased him mercilessly with comments like, "Didn't know you did kid's parties in your spare time, Jack." or "Look, Christmas has come early this year. And it looks like the elves are sporting a new fashion range on their hair."

He pulled out his iPod. No Cam and no Dr. Brennan around to check on him, there were two things he could do: perform illegal experiments and listen to music while working. The first one had had a disastrous outcome for him -how was he ever going to get his hair back to normal?- so he decided to go for the last option. Hodgins popped in his earplugs before pressing play and turning the volume up high. He skipped a couple of songs before one of his all-time favourites burst from his earplugs right into his ears.

The minute you walked in the joint
I could see you were a man of distinction
A real big spender…

Bobbing his head along the words, thereby making the bells on his hat ring cheerfully, Hodgins closed his eyes and began humming along.

So let me get right to the point
I don't pop my cork for every guy I see
Hey, big spender!
Spend a little time with me…

By the time the song neared its end, Hodgins was singing along at the top of his voice. The song had such a grip on him that he was even dancing along.

"Hey big spender!" he croaked, throwing his hands up in the air. "How about a palsy? Yeah!"

The moment the final notes of the song died away, he opened his eyes, half expecting his colleagues to be standing in the door. He breathed out a sigh of relief and grinned when he saw he was still alone.

His grin grew even larger when he heard the next song.

Tonight's the night we're gonna make it happen
Tonight we'll put all other things aside

"I'm so excited… and I just can't hide it!" he sang in a high-pitched voice, skipping around his office while performing some disco moves he remembered John Travolta do in Saturday Night Fever. "I'm about to lose control and I think I like it!"

Hodgins was just starting to sing along to the final chorus when he felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end. He slowly opened his eyes to find Angela standing in the doorway, happily smiling while keeping her camera pointed in his direction.

Embarrassed to no end, he quickly pulled the plugs from his ears and shoved his iPod in the pocket of his lab coat.

"Ah come on, Hodgie," Angela begged. "I was just getting excited as well! A few more moves and you could have become the Dancing Queen!"

He crossed the room in three large steps. "This can never be shown to anyone, Angela. You have to destroy that tape!"

"Only if I get something good in return."

"How about I cover for you while you go on a week-long spending spree, my treat? Just think of all the nice shoes and handbags that are screaming your name!" he said, coaxing her.

"Deal," she agreed, shaking hands with him.

The artist turned around to walk away. But not before she had playfully tapped his hat while saying "Looks good on you, Santa's Little Helper."

---°---

The next day Hodgins rushed through the lab to Brennan's office to show her what he had found on the last set of remains Booth had brought in.

"Dr. Brennan, I think you should see this," he said while stepping into her office.

All colour drained from his face when he saw the pictures playing over Brennan's computer screen. Opening and closing his mouth like a fish, he watched himself dance around the lab, loudly singing along to 'Big Spender' and 'I'm So Excited'. His surprise was replaced by a look of horror when the camera zoomed in on the elf hat on his head with purple curls peeking out from under the edge. He looked like a clown who'd went a little overboard into entertaining the kids.

His hand flew up to his hair. Fortunately he had gotten it back to its regular colour thanks to a three hour session at the hairdresser. Not to mention the fact the hairdresser had rolled around laughing for half an hour before she'd even started on his hair.

"Nice to know you consider the lab as your own private dance studio, Hodgins," Temperance interrupted his thoughts. "But could you keep the singing to a minimum the next time? And what happened to your hair?" The last part was said with what Hodgins could only identify as a snicker.

"How did you get that video?"

Temperance shrugged just when Angela and Zack entered the office.

"You!" Hodgins shouted, pointing an accusing finger at Angela. "I thought we had a deal?"

"It wasn't me," Angela defended herself.

He stared at her. If it isn't Angela, then… He slowly turned to look at his younger co-worker. Zack?

"You were right, Hodgins. Revenge is very sweet."

Hodgins felt the anger mixed with embarrassment and disbelief rise within him. That little snotrag boy genius wannabe Will Ferrell.

"Conspiracy! It's all one big conspiracy!"