Loth Lorien
Elenna stared out the window of the healing room blankly. They had managed to save her leg and said she would be up and moving soon. But she had retreated into herself, refusing to speak to anyone, even Aragorn about what had happened. Members of the fellowship had come and gone from her room but it was Legolas and Gimli who were her constant companions. Legolas would tell her stories to fill the silence and try to get her to laugh. Gimli, however, sat in silence waiting for her to speak. She had promised to tell him what she knew of Moria and she knew, of all the members of the fellowship, he blamed her for Gandalf's demise.
"Alright lassie." Gimli gruffly said interrupting Legolas. "You've had your time, now talk."
Legolas went silent as they watched Elen. She turned to look at the dwarf with a sadness and pain in her silver eyes they had never seen before. She took a deep breath and began to speak.
"I was approached by Lord Celeborn and Lady Galadriel to be an advisor to your cousin Balin when it was made known he was going to try to retake Moria. He was hesitant at first but after I had proven my skills in battle he took my council gratefully. I helped establish the colony and from day one it was magnificent. They began mining operations almost immediately, creating and forging the most beautiful pieces…" She stopped to breathe before going on.
"Eventually they needed to find more places to mine, so I began researching, pouring over old texts for mentions of mithiril deposits. Well I found them." She paused again, bowing her head as look of intense agony washed over her face.
"Galadriel had told me…she told me to contact her if they went looking for more places to mine. But in my arrogance, in my pride at helping and being a leader, I didn't. I told them where to mine. Despite the warnings in my research, despite everything…And then Balin was killed in an ambush by goblins." She looked up at Gimli, eyes shining with tears. "I held him as he died, his last words to me were 'Get out…get out, you foolish lass while you can.' But like an ass I stayed…I didn't know…I thought it was only goblins. But then…" Her eyes focused on a point behind Gimil in fear as she remembered. "The fire came, the drums, the darkness…the remaining dwarves got me out and told me to seal the mountain behind me…" She finished her voice trailing off as tears washed down her face.
"None of that was your fault though, the arrogance yes, but you could not have done anything about the…" Legolas began.
"No! You don't understand! They stopped mining because of the shadows! The dwarves knew something was there! Balin knew!" Elen said her voice rising to a shout. "And I WOKE IT UP! I WENT DOWN THERE AND WOKE IT UP! THIS IS ALL MY FAULT! GANDALF DIED BECAUSE OF ME!"
Elenna broke down into heaving sobs as Legolas tried to comfort her. Finally Gimli moved over to her side and lifted her head from her lap. He didn't say a word but simply drew her into his arms and held her as she cried onto his shoulder.
"I'm so sorry, Gimli." She gasped out between sobs as he held her tighter.
"What's past is past lassie. You cannae change what happened. And I bet my ax that Gandalf knew what he was walking into. It's like the Lady Galadriel said, 'Needless were none of the Gandalf actions.' Now, elf, let's get the poor lass to the others to help her grieve."